A Renaissance of Passion
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: Continuation of the Fic, A Long Way Home, picks up immediately after the ending. Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
Previously
"Rick, you're worrying me now, Babe, I'm here, I forgive you for whatever it is that is eating at you so badly, it's not important, not anymore. I know who, and what is the most important part of my life, please Babe, just tell me, I'm not running."
"Well I know how badly you wanted to solve your Mother's case, how hard you worked, and well"
"Rick, it was solved before I got back on my feet, Jordan Shaw and her team took Bracken and the whole crew down,"
"I know, but "Kate, look I'm sorry I didn't let you have the win, but some information fell into my lap, I can't say how even to this day, but I knew if I gave it to you, it might have cost you your life, I couldn't live with that. I called Jordan, well actually I called Tom, who I think you figured out was a friend of mine from college, then talked to Jordy.
"She advised against including you, it seemed that had been conduction their own investigation, and the information I provided just gave them the proof they needed. I know I promised that someday you and I would solve it, and I let you down, so I'm so sorry about that, but I would do it again to save your life.
***************************************************************************/
Chapter 5
Four Seasons Hotel
Rick's Suite,
Day Break, Next Day Cont'd.
"So, it was you that sent the file to Jordan, the one that I searched for years, and you sent it to her to solve," Kate's face flushed, and her fists balled,
"Yes, yes it was Kate, I can tell you exactly why, but I know you are angry and hurt at me, you probably think I stole your chance to avenge your Mom. Babe, you lying in a hospital, clinging to life, your bouts with PTSD, and your career change all tell me I did the right thing, not the most popular choice, but I stand by it."
"You really mean that Rick? You truly believe what you just said?" She looked as though she was about to cry again,
"I don't want to believe the new Kate, the one I held in my arms, the one I made love to, still thinks the same as before anymore, but I've assumed before and been wrong, I'm not taking any chances this time. Like I said some words will be hard, some words will hurt, but the question you have to ask yourself, is the relationship worth more than being hurt, or, even right? Is this the sin of mine you can't forget or forgive, regardless of the why? I don't know Kate, I pray it's not, but only you can answer that,"
"Rick, I knew what happened before I left the force, Jordan in her wisdom included me in the trial portions, and appeals for Bracken and the top brass. I asked her how she had put the pieces together, her answer amazed me, she simply said,
"Now that's a question you should ask your partner, you know the tall good looking one, sometimes pretending to be an author, he knew someone, and I can't tell you who but it was the piece we needed to put it all together. Kate, he didn't hand me the solution, as you think, he handed me information that had you acted on, would have either gotten you or one of your team killed, or compromised the good chance we had of nailing the entire gang."
"I'm NOT the same Kate, I'm not angry, I was when it first happened then Doctor Burke brought up a good point that I never thought about, in fact, his words pierced my armor, I was done, no more fight." Kate looked down, she had separated from him, standing up when he first confessed, he didn't try to hold her, just let her go.
"Are you going to leave me here in suspense Kate, first that you aren't angry, but what did the good doctor say to take all the anger and fight out of you? You know I have to know, don't you," showing the little boy look on his face she had missed so much, her Rick was starting to come back to her, don't blow it, Kate, she thought.
"Well, he said, and not that I thought it was all that profound at the time, but it haunted me, day and night until I admitted, he was right. He looked at me and told me,
"Kate, Mr. Castle has just put your life, your well being over his love for you, well the physical love relationship. Don't you realize that when the poets talked about dying love this was it, willing to forego his own happiness just to ensure you had closure and were safe. Kate, he knew it would get back to you, and he also knew how you would react. Anger, betrayal, and a feeling of being lied to, am I correct?"
"I could only shake my head, yes, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew he was right; it was just one more example of your unselfishness in a relationship that I had done everything in my power to kill before it even got started. You never gave up on me, on us, did you, Rick? It's OK, I understand that's a tough question to answer, I have been alone but you were in a three relationship, and that's not fair to pry." She un-balled her hands as she wiped a tear from one eye, looking at the ground.
"Kate, I, eh, can I meet Doctor Burke? I mean this guy seems to be able to tell you the tough messages and keep your respect. He was correct, I knew that when you found out about the file, about Jordy and Tom and my previous connection, you would feel as if I betrayed you, regardless of what the evidence and proof Jordan could produce, and in many ways, I couldn't fault you.
"Lies of omission are just as heinous as those that distort the facts, I was guilty of holding information back from you. I tried to tell myself that it was too soon after Roy and your eh, the incident, that you wouldn't be angry, or that you would understand the cause of why I protect you, I love you Kate, and I almost lost you once to a bullet, I can't say I am sorry because I would do anything to keep that from ever happening again." It was Rick's turn to stare at the floor, and take a few deep breaths, he listened to the deafening sounds of silence, then turned and stared out the huge glass door, looking somewhere out into space.
The silence was almost deafening, but Rick didn't hear Kate close the space, not until she reached up and pulled his face to hers, "I love you too Rick, I'm so sorry I made you feel that you couldn't protect me and love me, I know that's the message I sent you time and time again.
"I need you; I want you; I want to be taken care of by my man Rick, I don't want to be the strong cop who can slay dragons to borrow one of Jordan's tales to her daughter. Rick, today, this minute, when we are talked out, NO MORE LIES from either of us, you tell me what's going on and I will you then WE WILL DECIDE, together, OK Babe?" As she stared into those blue eyes, filling quickly with tears as he shook his head yes, and sealed it with a kiss.
It was getting so natural, and she knew his love kisses from those of passion, God the man could kiss, Karpowski had been right, but she would kill her if she came back for seconds.
"Babe, can we get dinner then move on to what I know you want to, you need to know about, Beth?"
"Sure Rick, I think we both need a break, you know, how about we go to the Hamptons, I've always regretted that day, and well, maybe, I*
He kissed her sweetly, "Pack your suitcase, Kate, if you don't have it, we'll buy it, but I think it would be a great place to start our new beginnings,"
Kate looked at him with a smile, "Listen to the Renaissance Man, but I totally agree, new beginnings and turning pain into great memories. I love what we're doing Rick, I know it's hard, well at least for me it is, but this is something we never did, we never talked.
"We talked around, over, and through issues, but we never really opened our hearts, this has made me love you even more if that's possible" she leaned in and kissed him, then grabbed a breath and kissed him again. He looked puzzled, happy but surprised, "hey, those have to last me till we get to the Hamptons" and she laughed.
Xx
They enjoyed a meal at one of Rick's favorite Mom and Pop Italian Restaurant, CeCee's Bar and Grill, one of the many places that knew and loved him, it seemed like no matter where they would go, someone had been influenced by Rick for the good. He had the Lasagna, while she chose the sampler platter with five different dishes, all exquisite and when the meal was done, left them both totally stuffed.
Since Rick had sold the Loft, he was using his car service to transport him to and from the Hamptons, where he kept his cars, much less expensive than renting garage space in New York. On the ride up, he held her hand, kissed her sweetly, she laid her head on his shoulder soon to hear the tiny hitches in is breath a few minutes later, he had fallen asleep.
She smiled to herself, kissed him gently, retrieved her iPod, and the earbuds, she thought she would listen to some music to relax her. She was still nervous, even as well as things had gone, it was still the first time she was really communicating with the man she loved, and she was so afraid something would go wrong to destroy the great start they were off to.
She had just powered up the music when she heard it. It had become her anthem the last several years, and she knew it was going to make her cry, it always did. The moment Glen Frey sang the first few notes, she knew if any song was written looking directly into her soul this was the one. She prepared her tissues and pulled slightly away from Rick, so not to disturb him, then pressed play,
The Girl From Yesterday
The Eagles
It wasn't really sad the way they said good-bye
Or maybe it just hurt so bad she couldn't cry
He packed his things, walked out the door and drove away
And she became the girl from yesterday
He took a plane across the sea
To some foreign land
She stayed at home and tried so hard to understand
How someone who had been so close could be so far away
And she became the girl from yesterday
She doesn't know what's right
She doesn't know what's wrong
She only knows the pain that comes from waiting for so long
And she doesn't count the teardrops
That she's cried while he's away
Because she knows deep in her heart
That he'll be back someday
The light's on in the window; she's waiting by the phone
Talking to a memory that's never coming home
She dreams of his returning and the things that he might say
But she'll always be the girl from yesterday
Yeh, she'll always be the girl from yesterday
Songwriters: Glenn Lewis Frey / Jack Tempchin
She sat as still as she could, but her tears were falling, she tried to catch them with the tissues, without much success, at least she wasn't sobbing, yet, as she normally did. The words described how she felt to a tee, and her heart broke every time she heard it, but she couldn't stop listening.
She never sensed it but his arm slipped around her, pulled her into him, took one earbud and started listening to the song, she had it on a loop which meant it played until she programed the next song, so he heard it a few times, before he tilted her head up to look into her eyes, and said n such a sweet and shy voice, "that was yesterday, you have my today, and my tomorrow, I hope I have yours."
It was fortunate the screen was up and was tinted, what came next would have put two high schoolers to shame, the make-out session was hot, it was long, and it was intense, with words whispered not said aloud. Her tears were wiped and kissed away, as they listened to the song again, this time, Rick surprised her and did a pretty good job matching Glen Frey on the lead vocals. She had been humming the harmony all along, but now this was a song of victory, no longer a bad memory. God, she loved this man, she just wanted to show him how much.
They managed to break apart, adjust their clothing just as the driver, David, announced on the intercom they were approaching the main gate. Kate was taken back to see the long, sleek drive, lawns manicured and the shrubbery trimmed to a detail that only Rick would demand. When they pulled up to the entrance, Kate's mouth was open, still in shock.
"Something wrong Kate?" Rick asked, innocently
"Rick, you said beach house, not beach mansion, my God, how rich are you? I'm sorry forget I said that it's just you're always so down to earth, never putting on the look at me, I'm rich attitude, I never expected something so, so eh, big" she finally settled on.
David had set the luggage on the front porch and returned to open the door for Kate and Rick, with Rick palming him a tip, she knew it was a large denomination bill, but she was taken back, even more, when he said,
"David, how is the family, that little one ever decide between the Saxophone and Trumpet?" he smiled,
"They're all great Rick, thanks for asking, and yes Dee has chosen her instrument, she's playing piano now, "he grimaced,
"That's a big switch, do you have a piano in the home for her to practice on? I know you had the Sax and Trumpet covered, but a piano can cost some money."
"Boy don't I know it, not yet, we're saving but you know,"
"Well take Dee down to the shop in town, you know where I'm talking about, think its Flagler's music and have her pick out one that will work for you, tell Bill to put it on my tab,"
"Rick, that's far too much, really I mean, I know you do a great deal for all of us, but that is just too much"
"OK, then I'll buy it and sell it to Dee for her weekly allowance, OK? Your choice, do it the easy way or don't make me turn your little girl against you" he laughed,
"Thank You, Rick, I wish there was more to say, it seems so little,"
"Tell you what, I get lifetime passes to her shows once she hits it big and we call it even,"
He smiled, and nodded, mainly because he was so choked up, he did get out, "Call me if you need me, Rick, day or night" and wiped his eyes as he drove away.
Rick turned to see a look of adoration on Kate's face, she smiled,
"What, did I do something wrong," he asked all seriously
"You really don't know just how special you are to so many people do you, I mean you think you impact a few, but Babe, what you just did was beautiful. A little girl will be able to play the instrument of her choice, not what her parents could afford. It may not sound like a lot to you, but trust me, it'll mean the world to that little girl. Do you mind if I ask what got you started doing things like this, I mean if it's"?
"Kate, we agreed if we had questions, we would ask each other, so it's not too private to tell you. Alexis was about 7, and she came home with a new love of the violin, we thought she would play the piano like her Grams but she got it in her head the violin was the instrument for her.
"Well, the books weren't exactly flying off the shelves yet, so I played piano three nights a week at the Old Haunt, that's where I got reacquainted with the place. The money bought her the violin, then the books took off, so my piano playing days were over."
"You said you got reacquainted with it Rick, did I miss something?" She asked leaning in to hear his every word.
"Do you remember the case when I bought the Haunt, and we discovered the prized liquor collection? Try to recall the pictures on the wall behind the bar, third stool from the left," he said raising his eyebrows slightly
"Rick, oh my God was that you? I told you that day that the guy was hot, and he didn't need to be hanging out in bars to pick up women, oh what a fool I made of myself"
Rick laughed, "Not really, but I tell you my ego did take a hit when you looked at me and laughed and said I never looked that good," as Kate's face went from Red to Bright Red in 2 seconds,
"Why didn't you correct me Rick?" she lamented,
"Wasn't much point Kate, remember you were with Josh then so I stood aside, it didn't matter if I had found a cure for cancer during those days, you still would have been with him, and I don't interfere in relationships. Being on the receiving end, I would never make anyone else feel like I felt,"
"Oh God Rick, please let's go inside, we need to talk about this more, but I want to get out of these clothes and into some comfortable nightclothes, I promise you, I'll answer any of your questions if you promise to tell me about Beth, minus the sex routines," as she blushed, and hurried toward the door.
TBC