Lizard

Chapter 11

As the time approached for his visit she became more certain that she had made huge errors. An error in firstly taking on the job, and secondly an error at moving in to his house, and thirdly an error becoming tied up again, in one way or another, with Charles and his life.

She didn't back down though. She helped with the schedules, planned the days of their visit, and the more she knew the more she regretted everything. The main thing she knew was that there'd be just five of them, and she knew there was only four hotel rooms booked. That was the important bit of information she wished she didn't have. Obviously someone was sharing, and she imagined that someone would be Charles with his Laura.

Laura. Her name had been mentioned lots in his texts and e mails recently. She was becoming important to him. Molly could tell. He'd started mentioning about the trips they had done, the people they had met, the places they had seen together. The person who she knew was the one person he really wanted her to meet. The person that was now his person in America.

It was hard not to dwell, and she couldn't. She couldn't show her uncomfortableness about the visit, it was too important, and it was highly anticipated by all. So she played along, smiled when she should have smiled, none of her other work colleagues knew of her and Charles' past, and she very much wanted to keep it that way. As each day passed she went along with her work with a happy face and counted the days down until she saw him again.

The day then arrived she'd arranged to arrive later than normal, not that an unusual occurrence and in the excitement it drew no comment. Molly knew she was putting it off, but she dreaded seeing him again, for the first time in such a public gathering, unsure how they would react to each other. She therefore just slipped into her work; her job, and hoped they'd bump into one another in a far more appropriate way. Her day went with no interruptions. She neither saw him or heard him, and presumed he was avoiding her too.

She did however, as the day went by, have plenty of time to study the other visitors. Two men, as Charles was missing, and two women. They were efficient, integrated and everywhere. Molly kept out of their way, but hung back and studied them

The two men didn't interest her as much as the females did.

One was smartly dressed and efficient. A pleasant looking lady in her mid to late 50s. Attentive and comfortable with the group she was with. Happy to be there. She caught Molly's eye once or twice, but didn't hold her attention for too long, too focused on her work. Molly liked that.

It was the young stunning beautiful 20 or so year old however that Molly studied. She didn't want to, but she was drawn to her presence. She was tall, with ridiculously long legs, long blond hair that shone, despite the dull October day, and an expensive killer smile. Molly just knew that this was his Laura.

She sat a home that night and ate her beans on toast with no TV on and no music. Silence. Instead she flicked through the visitor's profile literature she'd been given on her way out. Her immediate boss, thinking he was doing her a favour, as well as being keen to bring her up to speed, as he told her she was expected to socialise with them the following night at a planned event.

There were no pictures, but Molly didn't need them. The memory of long legged Laura etched on to her eyes. Her profile confirmed all she had feared, and Molly was no match for her. As she read about Laura it appeared that she had equal amounts of both brains as well as beauty. Majoring from some high profiled American colleague and surprising them all by dedicating herself to charitable causes. A kind caring girl, who had shunned Daddy's money to make her own way in the world. She seemed too good to be true Molly thought, with more than a touch of envy. Though she couldn't deny she was perfect for Charles. Offered him a lot more than Molly ever did, or could.

He was exhausted, as he guessed they all were. They had stepped straight off the plane straight into their first working day. They rolled up at the charity happy, and curious. They were thrown into the deep end, and he'd become instantly immersed in staff meetings and forums. During their welcome meeting he spent very little time listening to what was being said. Instead he'd spent his time looking around the room for Molly. The realisation, when it came, that she wasn't there was surprisingly crushing. He hadn't expected to be so disappointed. Yes, he admitted to himself that soon as he knew they were coming over, all he could think about was the fact he'd seen her again, but he didn't know until he didn't, realise how much he so wanted to see her.

His time that day was short at the charity. He was needed for another personal meeting elsewhere. He left before she arrived. He consoled himself though; he was there for two whole weeks, and they'd meet up...eventually. He had so much to tell her.

He was nervous and excited at the same time, resigned to the friends zone she had delegated him to, he felt that the news he'd have to share with her would therefore be received appropriately. So much had happened. So much had changed and he needed Molly to know. Thought it was right that she did.

His colleagues sat with him and had one quick drink in the hotel bar. Listening to some wild talked from Laura, who was centre of attention as always, but soon they made their way up to their room. All too tired to socialise and aware they had another big day ahead of them.

He'd almost forgotten to do it. Something he'd promised himself to do as soon as he had seen she wasn't there. He'd intended to text her all day, but time had run away from him. And so careful not to disturb the other sleeping form in the room, that was starting to snore, he reached for his phone.

Sorry I missed you today. Hope to see you tomorrow. C

She threw her phone down on the bedside cabinet. She hoped she'd sleep well tonight, but doubted it. She had spent all the night thinking about texting him, but didn't want to interfere, and didn't. Her heart raced when she saw it was a text form him, but soon returned to its normal rhythm when she saw how emotionless and matter of a fact it was. And so Molly turned off her bedside light knowing tomorrow there would be no avoiding seeing Charles James... and his Laura.

"Hello Molly." She felt him before she had seen him. For that she was grateful and had moments to compose herself.

He shyly stood at the office door as she did her admin. He stood straight but dipped his head. His eyes focused on her as he held his arms ran rod straight by his side. "How are you?"

"Hello." She tried to pull in the huge smile in her face, but couldn't. Pleased though as she saw that it pleased him, as he returned the smile.

"Good. Missed you yesterday." He said, and for a moment she thought he sounded sad about that. They she realised he was just being polite.

"Sorry and that. Had stuff to do." She lied as she waved a hand over the files in front of her.

"Good to see you." He added as he moved into her office and sat down on the other side of her desk. He bit his lip as he knew the smile of his face still hadn't quite left it.

"Yeah and you too." She tried to focus on the pen she was fiddling with but couldn't keep her eyes from his.

"You joining us tonight?" He asked. "There's someone I want you to meet."

She saw the excitement flash in his eyes as he spoke, and she felt envious.

"Err. Yeah. Just gonna finish this off, and then I'm off." She dully added.

He noticed her change. The smile gone and he guessed he'd take up enough of her time.

He cleared his throat and stood, gently placing the chair under her desk. Using it as a prop to avoid the lack of eye contact neither of them now gave each other.

"Good... see you later." He said.

He turned on his heels and marched out. Seriously doubting if the introduction he had planned was a good idea.

All the time he'd been away. All the time he'd spent with Laura. All the time he remembered what they once had, once were and were no more, he felt that it was the right thing to do. Yet now the time was here. Now the time to share his and Laura's relationship with her, he doubted if it was the right thing to do at all.

She arrived late. A lot later than she had expected, and she knew why... she didn't want to be there. She wanted to be far far away, because she'd meet her nemesis.

She had dressed carefully, once again. Needing the confidence, plus she had stopped and had several glasses of Dutch courage before she left the house. A trick that still remained from the old Molly Dawes days. Knowing full well it always served her badly, but tonight she simply didn't care. She needed it.

As soon as she walked through the doors she saw him. Holding court. The beautiful blond, Laura, hanging on to his every word. He didn't notice though, and didn't court her attention. The Charles, she knew, had never been a flirt. Molly remembered at least that much about him. In all the years they were together, she never once saw him use his looks to gain anything. Always almost embarrassed when they were mentioned. He was just kind, friendly and sociable. Many ladies took this the wrong way, but Molly always knew he was loyal and faithful to her.

That was until Georgie. That's why the Georgie situation was so hard for her to understand. The things that were said, the things that were done, were not done by the Charles James that she knew. He had suddenly, after Elvis' death, become almost a stranger to her. She never saw it coming. Would never have suspected it from him. It was just wrong. Yet somehow it had happened.

Molly made her way to the bar and ordered herself a double. She mingled with a group of her own colleagues. Laughed and joked with them. Staying away from Charles.

He saw her and raised his hand in a shy way to acknowledge her. A cute boyish grin spread across his face as they held each other's gaze for just that bit longer than needed. Then his attention was snapped back by the group he was with, and by Laura.

Too quickly she was at the bar again ordering herself a drink. Another double. She took a sip and then a swing as Charles' group separated. She then raised her glass in the air as a silent toast to him as he watched her.

The alcohol was doing its thing. She started to feel somewhat dizzy, numb, but kept on drinking.

It was the cloying smell of her perfume that first alerted Molly to Laura's presence.

"Hi. Molly is it?" She smiled down at her from her tall position. Offering her hand. Foolishly Molly had worn flats tonight and was no match for this beauty's height. She felt very small.

Molly sucked her face up onto a semi almost believable smile, and drank on acknowledging her guest with a raise of her eye brows.

A burst of laughter rang out from the room and all eyes turned to Charles.

"He's great? Isn't he?" She dreamily said.

Molly smiled and let out a weak;

"Yeah!"

"Have you known him long? C said you were old friends."

"C?" Molly asked. Her face twisted in disgust at the nickname.

Yeah C. Charles. Charlie." She simpered back.

"Charles!" Molly said definitely and stared hard at her. "Yeah. We were in the Army together. He was my CO." She noticed this girl obviously had no idea that she was once married to Charles. Molly knew it wasn't her place to say either.

"Right? Charles. He's told me so much about you." She went on. Molly smirked though knowing that he appeared to have missed out the important points. "I've be so keen to meet you. We all have."

Molly smiled perfectly and ordered herself another. Not offering her company a drink.

Dam the gin tasted good tonight.

As she politely turned to excuse herself from her one to one with the American Beauty Charles appeared.

"Hi Molly." He smiled at her and then she saw his eyes half close in wonder, as he scanned her face. "Pleased you made it."

Before she had a chance to say anything. Laura pressed her arm to Charles' and told them she was going to 'powder her nose'. Charles just smiled and kept all eyes on Molly.

"Thought you needed rescuing." He laughed as soon as they were alone. "She's quiet a handful at times."

"She's lovely Charles." Molly kindly said.

"Yeah she is." He smiled. "Got a heart of gold too, but is like a machine gun when she meets someone new. Hundred questions a minute I reckon." He chuckled as he swigged his beer.

She just smiled pathetically and laughed.

"You ok?" He asked as she wobbled a bit.

"Yeah. I'm good thanks." But the numerous drinks on an empty nervous stomach weren't doing her any favours.

"You're drunk?" He laughed. Remembering how amorous a slightly tipsy Molly used to be. Uninhibited and so open with her heart and feelings. It made him sad and the laugh stopped instantly.

The sudden stopping of his laughter, and Molly saw it as a sign he disapproved and she bristled.

"No. Even if I was, what do you care?" She answered back a bit too more harshly than intended.

"Wow." His eyes widened in surprise. "Was only saying." He replied.

Running his hand through his hair and looking around the room he wondered how it was all going so wrong, so quickly.

Molly saw his upset and as always felt for him. She still deeply cared for him and knew she was being unfair.

"Sorry." She meekly said.

"It's ok." He answered. "Are you ok though Molly?" He asked full of concern. He moved closer to help her appear slightly steadier than she appeared.

She pulled her lips in and looked at him. Curling her hands up and digging her nails into her own flesh. She needed to be strong.

"I'm fine." She smiled. Then paused, took a deep breath and said. "I meant what I said though Charles. She's lovely. Laura."

Charles' face instantly changed. Confusion spread across it.

"Laura?" He asked. Looking around. Half answering her. "Yep she is." Then he turned back to her and said, concerned. "I didn't think you'd been introduced."

"Well not officially like." Molly said as Charles placed a glass of water in front of her and nodded his head at her to drink it. "She just came up and started talking. You know what these septic tanks are like?"

He shook his head.

"She's not American." Charles added. "She's Greek."

"Oh!" Was all Molly said. "She didn't sound it." Then added for good measure. "She calls you C."

Charles' head whipped up.

"Molly who the fuck do you think is Laura? Cause there's only one person here that calls me C. Knows it pisses me off, and it's not Laura."

"Eh? That girl I was taking to when you came over. The beautiful one who's gone to powder her nose. That one." Molly was drunk, but not that drunk.

Charles threw his head back and laughed. A pure laugh of delight. She knew he was laughing at her and it hurt.

"Molly. Sweetheart." They both paused at the unintentional slip of her pet name as it came from his lips. Stunned for seconds he then continued. "That wasn't Laura that was Emma."

Molly had too much going through her alcohol sozzled mind. She looked up at the giant of a man in front of her. The man who used to be her world and questioned him.

"What?"

He continued.

"God no that's not Laura. That's Emma. Tall, loud, inappropriate at times but bloody good at her job." He placed both hands on Molly's shoulders and gently spun her 180 degrees around.

His arm stretched out and pointed to a more sedate group sitting in the corner. Amongst them was the smartly dress 50 year old plus woman who she had briefly seen on the first day, but had dismissed as no importance.

This woman. The actual Laura saw them both looking at her and smiled. A kind smile. No bitchiness in it all. No concern that Charles was talking about her holding on to Molly's shoulders still.

"That's Laura." He said with clarity and pride in his voice. "The Laura I've told you about."

Molly's eyes opened wide. She would never have guessed. Would never have expected. Her Charles to be with a woman so much older than him. 20 years at least. It hurt that he had found happiness with someone else, but it hurt even more that he had found happiness with someone so much older, and so different from what she would ever have imagine.

She pulled herself together. Tried not to judge. He was obviously happy if the grin on his face was anything to go by. Laura's smile back at him was just the same, if not kinder and softer.

Her mind was blown. She felt concerned that her Charles was obviously so broken, still so full of self-doubts that he had found someone outside what society would be expect. He went for someone who could give him comfort, stability and care, but there again she reasoned, wasn't that what were all after.

He spun her round once he'd pointed out the true Laura, still smiling, back to face him. Waiting for her to say some things. Yet she couldn't. This person wasn't who she'd imagined she'd lose him too. His smile dropped and he looked hurt.

Her gut churned.

"I feel sick." Was all she managed to say.

It hadn't been her finest few hours. She now lay there on her bed, mortified about what had happened.

After her declaration to Charles she had rushed outside the pub, and the alcohol did what it always did to her. It came back. She spent several minutes heaving away before she felt calm enough to make her way home.

Alone and the tears came. Tears of pity. Tears of loss. Tears of loneliness. Tears about how pathetic she had become.

She waited a short while and saw a cab heading her way. She successfully hailed it down and as she stepped in the door was held open further.

"I'm coming with you Molly." Was all he said.

They sat in silence in the cab until it pulled up outside his own home. It felt odd her letting him in as though he was a guest. She had little time to think about it though as another wave of nausea racked through her body, and she ran to the bathroom.

She stayed hugging the toilet for a lot longer than needed. Too ashamed to face him. He used to hold her hair when she was sick. He used to help her, climb into bed with her and hold her. He used to make it all better.

"Molly." He knocked softly on the door. "You ok? I've some water here for you."

"Go away Charles." She groaned out to him. "Please." Too embarrassed to face him.

"No... not going to happen." He sternly replied back. "Cause you know if I do you're going stay in there all night."

She released the lock and saw him standing there. He'd taken his coat and shoes off. He undone the first few buttons of his shirt and looked so relaxed. So right.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed." He said as he put his arms around her with such care. Helping her to stand.

He started to walk her to his room, but she gestured to the spare box.

His eyes shot up in surprise when he realised she'd taken the smallest room there was.

She accepted the water and sent him away. Telling him she could manage. He went downstairs and left her alone. She expected him to leave. Once her face was washed and her teeth brushed she soon realise he hadn't. The TV was softly on downstairs, and she heard him for a while moving around. Just once, only once she heard him creep up the stairs and stand outside her door. He said nothing and she made no sound, and then she heard his feet pad softly back down.

Molly didn't know what to do and once she had climbed into bed she stayed there. Lying still and mortified. That wasn't what she had wanted from tonight. She dreaded to think how foolish he would have thought of her now. Eventually though her brain stopped, and sleep and alcohol consumed her and she drifted off.

He lay uncomfortably spread out on his own settee. A small throw over just covering him. Wondering if he was mad. He had a perfectly good bed upstairs, but it felt wrong to use it without Molly's permission. He had a perfectly good hotel room to go back to as well, but it felt wrong to leave her. He'd explain his actions to all those who cared in the morning.

As he lay he looked around the room. They're were little changes to his home. He'd noticed new things dotted about as he'd walked around earlier. Signs that Molly was living there. It didn't upset him. It made him happy. She felt comfortable enough here to make it her own. He saw a few trinkets and pictures he remembered from old, and it made him smile thinking about how they used to be in their home. All those years ago, and how his Molly hadn't rubbished everything that had reminded her of their past.

It was late. Much later. Still dark and cold. He had managed to drift off but was woken but her footsteps. Padding one by one down the stairs. He knew where she was exactly by the creek of the penultimate stair. He sat up waiting for her to enter the sitting room. Hopeful. She didn't disappoint.

"Hi." She said quietly. Though she knew he was awake.

"How you feeling?" He asked as he rubbed the sleep from his face.

"Shaky." She replied as she hugged the enormous bathrobe around her.

He let out as small scoff at her reply, with a small smile on his lips. This was the Molly he knew, and he knew too just what to do. He stood quickly and walked past her, briefly touching her shoulder as he past and headed out to the kitchen.

Ten minutes later he returned. Two mugs of hot chocolate in his hand. Her go to hangover cure. She grinned cheekily as she saw him coming towards her. Her face cute and childlike almost.

She had curled up on the settee and had pulled the throw over around her. The night was chilly and the heating had gone off. As he sat down next to her, close, she automatically threw a corner of the blanket around him, and she snuggled deeper into the settee.

"Thanks." She said with utter gratitude and surprise, taking the drink and blowing on it.

She sat comfortably and she saw he sat almost perched on the edge of the settee. Tense around her. Cradling his mug and staring at his feet.

"I'm sorry." She offered and his head snapped up as though he had forgotten she was there.

He turned and looked at her. Unsure he should be feeling this way, but when he saw her run from the pub. When he'd finally caught up with her in the taxi, he knew he had no choice. He knew he needed to make sure she was ok. To make sure she was safe, and all thoughts of returning back to the hotel were lost. He still just wanted to protect her.

"No problem." He said kindly, but she heard the tension in his voice.

"Hope I haven't got you into any trouble?" She half asked, sneaking a glance up from her cup to watch his response.

His head slowly turned to her and his eyebrows knitted together. There was only a small table lamp on in the corner of the room, making it dim, but she saw enough on his face to see the confusion again.

"Trouble?" He asked and leaned further back into the settee. Almost forcing himself to relax.

"Yeah! With Laura and that?" She offered.

He chuckled and shook his head.

"No I'm a big boy now. Doubt she'll have noticed. Probably tucked up in bed fast asleep I'd imagine. Jet lags hits her hard."

"Oh." Molly took a drink of her hot chocolate. It was perfect. Just like he always used to make it for her.

As the sweet steam warmed her face she was taken back to how long it had been since he'd made her this drink. Since they had sat so close, in silence, sipping away. In the early days when she craved it, after an exercise, a tour, a night out, he'd make it for her without her even asking. He called it his 'love in a mug'. Cheesy they both knew, but it thrilled her whenever he said it, and he always made it just right for her, and it always hit the spot.

As though he read her mind he asked.

"Is it ok?" And he moved his head towards the cup she was holding.

"Perfect." She sought his eyes and smiled. "Bleeding perfect." And she was unsure if she meant the drink or the gentle moment that had developed between the two of them.

He sucked in his breath and shook his head. Self-doubt and memories again throwing a wall up between them.

"I... err... hope you don't mind me stopping." He asked. Staring ahead at the wall. "Thought with you... you know..."

"It's your house." She said quietly. "Course I don't." She smiled as he turned to look at her. "And thank you."

He took the cup from her, and their fingers brushed. He felt the danger in the situation, and turned away from her placing the cups on a side table.

"Well. I guess...?" He shrugged. "Another big day tomorrow."

"Oh. Right." She jumped up and moved towards the door. "Night then."

"Night Molly." He started to settle into the settee again.

"There's a bed upstairs you know." She happily announced. "Got your name on it and everything."

He laughed at how ridiculous it was. His own home, his own bed, and he was sleeping on a couch.

"Didn't want to presume." He offered back. "If you don't mind."

She shook her head and he followed her up the stairs.

It made her skin tingle, having him so close, and as he turned off to his bedroom room she rushed out.

"I'm pleased you're happy. You know that don't you Charles?"

He stopped and looked at her. Cute, sleepy, vulnerable, and he couldn't stop himself.

He leaned over and kissed her. A soft brotherly kiss on her cheek.

A perilous move, but one that came easily to him. She was almost too much to resist.

"Thank you." He stroked her face in a familiar way, ran his finger over her jaw, and he saw the anxiety on her face.

He stopped himself.

"Night Molly." He turned and went into his room alone.

"Night." Was all she answered back all be it silently. He'd gone.

His kiss had shocked her. Her mind screamed of how unfair it all was. How unfair it was to Laura. How unfair it was to toy with her, but most of all how unfair it felt to her, Molly.

Unfair because suddenly, that small peck on her cheek, caused her world to rock all over again.