A Renaissance of Passion
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: Continuation of the Fic, A Long Way Home, picks up immediately after the ending. Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
Previously
"Do you remember the case when I bought the Haunt, and we discovered the prized liquor collection? Try to recall the pictures on the wall behind the bar, third stool from the left," he said raising his eyebrows slightly
"Rick, oh my God was that you? I told you that day that the guy was hot, and he didn't need to be hanging out in bars to pick up women, oh what a fool I made of myself"
Rick laughed, "Not really, but I tell you my ego did take a hit when you looked at me and laughed and said I never looked that good," as Kate's face went from Red to Bright Red in 2 seconds,
"Why didn't you correct me Rick?" she lamented,
"Wasn't much point Kate, remember you were with Josh then so I stood aside, it didn't matter if I had found a cure for cancer during those days, you still would have been with him, and I don't interfere in relationships. Being on the receiving end, I would never make anyone else feel like I felt,"
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Chapter 6
The Hamptons
Later that Night
Rick had provided Kate with the tour, watching her eyes open wide with each new room, until he reached the Master Bedroom, then he spotted a bit of sadness, certainly not the joy she had been portraying.
"What is it Kate, something is bothering you, please we promised, tell me, I can't fix what I don't know is broken." His concern was genuine in his voice and the look on his face,
"It's stupid, actually it's petty, I shouldn't even*"
"Kate, please?" his eyes were more focused on her now, and she knew she would have to tell him the truth,
"Well, I was wondering, just how many other girls had been given this tour, I mean, it's none of my business, especially the way I paraded men in front of you, but now that I'm here, it's just, well*"
"Kate, I can't lie, I won't lie there have been others, not as many as you are probably thinking but yes there were ladies before you, but Babe, NONE of them were you." He was as serious as she had ever seen him,
She thought for a moment, if he could take her after the Deming Debacle, she couldn't fault him for things that happened long before her, she reached down, took his hand, and replied, "And none will ever be, so no more ever, OK?" she had tears in her eyes,
"I have never, nor will I ever cheat on anyone I commit to, Babe, that is a hurt no one should ever feel, so yes as long as you and I are committed to each other, there won't ever be anyone else here, at least in that way." He pulled her in and just held her for a few moments allowing her to regain her composure,
"I'm sorry," she whined, "I know I didn't have that right, but visions of Karpowski's tongue flicking in your mouth, as she and Ann rubbed their big boobs against you. Hell, it just sent shivers down my spine."
He continued to hold her, she couldn't see but she knew he was smiling about her new possessiveness came out, hell yes, she was jealous, more than he knew.
"Rick?" she asked,
"Yes?" he replied, fully knowing what she was going to say, but smiling still
"Quit smiling, it's not funny, OK?" she was seriously hurt that another woman would be kissing her man, well he wasn't at the time, but well she was hoping he was now.
He turned her head to face him, and kissed her, giving her the answer, she needed, for now, it was she that was in his arms, kissing his lips, they had work to do, but God what they had covered in such a short time. She shuddered knowing the painful parts for both were coming up, his time with Beth, and her trying to explain a marriage when she was the one and done type of girl, she had thrown in his face so often.
They walked back onto the veranda, knowing they had to talk, and the subjects weren't going to be easy, arms wrapped around each other's waist seemed to acknowledge, that each would be there for the other when the words were all said.
"So, how do you want to do this Rick, I know there are things you need to know from me, and as I said, I need to know about your time away, in someone else's arms, what changed, and how we can get past all our history, both of us. Shall I go first?"
"I think that would be best, but I also want to know what happened from the day I left for England, where did you go, who was with you, who helped you in your rehab, and then I would like to hear about the degree, why you really went back to your first love for an occupation." He was serious, kind, but very resolved in his statements, he wanted to know how she had turned her back on something he had asked her to do repeatedly, who had that power to get her to change her mind and chase her dream.
"That's fair Rick, I knew you would have a lot of questions, so believe me, as we agreed, somethings won't be easy to hear, but you need to know where my heart was coming from."
They relaxed on the furniture, Rick had brought her favorite drink out and sat it on the table, she patted the cushion next to her when he started to sit across,
"Babe, I need to hold your hand or touch you, to get through this, as I said, I never was that Badass cop that could leap tall buildings you always built me up to be, just a woman with a lot of flaws, and now working to prove to the man she loves more than life, she deserves another chance."
He sat beside her, took her hand in his, and just nodded, "Start where and when you're ready Kate, please*"
She turned and kissed him, "Babe, my lying days are over, I know I am one lie away from the heartbreak I will never recover from, so test me, ask me whatever you want to know, OK?"
He kissed her gently, held her hand, "Sorry Babe, the floor is yours."
"I think if I start right after you left to go back to England, well it would let me tell you how I felt some of my motivations, and what happened.
"The day you came to see me in the hospital, you told me that you were leaving in two days, I lied, you caught me, and I finally admitted that I had heard you in the cemetery. I'm just sorry I didn't have the courage the rest of the story then, and it took years for me to tell you what your words meant to me. I could tell you weren't the same Rick that had walked out of the precinct, or the one that saved my life, and countless others that day. The man I saw was hurting, almost to a point I no longer recognized that little man child I had grown to love.
"When I told you I loved you, your reply shocked me, you said that you believed that I believed I loved you but to talk to my therapist and see if he agreed, you couldn't understand how I could continue to hurt you if I had one ounce of feelings for you.
"Doctor Burke and I started my sessions before I was discharged, and you were right, he didn't pull any punches, often putting me in your shoes as he described my actions, I cried Rick, a lot, it was beginning to dawn on me how selfish I had been. All I thought about was my wants, my needs, and I was going to knock down anything or anyone who tried to stop me, even because the man loved me more than I had ever been loved in my life. I didn't see it, well I did see it, but it hit me the day you flew back.
"Lanie was visiting me, just making small talk, and she mentioned that you had been photographed arriving at Heathrow with a beautiful lady, and they were all going crazy that you had returned. I guess they knew about the Captain and your muse as Lanie put it. I realized how much I loved you and just how far away I had driven you when Evelyn Montgomery visited me later that day, she told me, Rick, how you had taken care of the girls, her, and then she said,
"Kate, Roy's no longer here, but as a woman, I'm going to tell you, if you don't crawl, fly, walk or swim to that man and pledge your love you are going to miss out on one of life's true fairy tales, he loves you so very much.
"When I objected and told her not anymore, she told me about Roy and her knowing about his transgression, and how she had forgiven him for leaving them all to make his wrong, right. She described the courage you showed, and how people love you for how you help everyone. When she left, I promised myself, even if I never got to see you again, I was going to make you proud of me.
"I left the hospital one day shy of it being 4 weeks from the day you left, no one but Dad knew where I went, well Dad and my college counselor. I was in a Rehab facility in upstate New York, I had just returned from a physical therapy session when I heard Jordan Shaw describe the takedown of Bracken and the henchmen. I knew then that I had wasted all those years, and for what a failed attempt to avenge my Mother. Jordan and her team brought it home in less than a week, some super cop I was.
"I was feeling, hell I don't know what I was feeling being truthful, but I remember crying when Dad appeared in the doorway and asked me if I would like some company. He told me, Rick, how you made sure he and I were safe, he also told me to never ask you because you couldn't tell me, so that was the day I decided, Mom had justice, I had lost you, no other man could compare, so I doubled down on the degree.
"I took a double course load for the entire first year, I couldn't have any spare time or I would think or see something about you, then it became you and Beth. The books came out, it was the only release I allowed myself, reading the Bond books, then the Heat series. I cried more when I read the dedications, to Roy, to all Cops who give it all, even those who are still here, but are empty because the job had sucked the life out of us.
"I had taken the Captain's exam, Roy had insisted for some reason the year before you started, and I was at the top of the list when Iron Gates became Prison Gates, I got the promotion to Captain. I decided that when I had the twenty years in and passed the bar exam I would retire from the force. I never dreamed that Javi would beat me out the door, but Lanie had waited long enough and moved on. That was another reminder of what I had destroyed, and I cried for a week, of course not letting her see, she was a beautiful bride, but you knew that didn't you?"
"What do you mean Kate? IF you're asking if I was in New York when she got married, I won't lie, I was, along with Alexis and Gina who attended the ceremony. I know you and your Dad were there for a little while then you were both gone."
"Well, when I saw you, Gina looked happy, so did Alexis and the last thing I wanted to do was bring back bad memories to you or them, so we left. Dad didn't like crowds anyway.
"Well, Law School came naturally to me, but I hit a snag when I applied for the Bar Exam after graduation. One you would never believe having to do with my marriage,"
"Really? Try me, Kate, I heard a lot but when it came to your marriage no one would crack, no matter how hard I tried, so when did you get married, to who, and why annulment after 5 months?"
"Well when I went for my background check for the Bar, they found I had been married and never divorced, I went nuts telling them it had to be a clerical error until I went down and saw the dates and name."
"So, you really were married, at least once before, Kate?"
"Well like you put cows on top of the school, I had just turned 18 and for my birthday my boyfriend and my roommate and her beau decided it would be a hoot to drive to Vegas, while we were there, we had a bit too much alcohol and went to an all-night wedding chapel.
"We ALL were supposed to do it, Logan O'Leary a boyfriend I kept only because he pissed my parents off so badly, and I went first. When it was Maddie's turn, she had sobered up enough to say no so there it was. I broke up with Logan when we got back to school, and that was the end of it I thought.
"The background check showed the marriage recorded but no divorce and the slimeball had been claiming me on his Income Tax for the last 14 years. It took me five months, and several threats, one included castration to get him to sign the annulment papers without getting alimony. Dad had the IRS waiting for him outside the room we finally got him to show up to, once he signed the papers, he was arrested for Tax Fraud. He won't be seeing the outside for quite a while.
"I had to revise the dates to the date of discovery, and date of annulment for the legal records, that's why it showed only 5 months, but Rick, he was a boyfriend, not a husband and the marriage was never consummated, before or after that charade. It taught me a lesson, be thorough when you do background checks, you never know what will be discovered."
Rick sat quietly, his hand over his face, his eyes not looking at her, she began to worry when more than just a few moments of silence had passed,
"Rick, please did you hear the part of the marriage wasn't consummated? I'm sorry if that hurt you, all the times your divorces were raised, and I threw that I'm a One and Done girl, hell I didn't even know when the one was done, at least on paper. She was looking for any sign of emotion, good or bad from him, then he erupted in laughter,
"You mean you had been married for over a decade and never knew it, and the sleazeball had been claiming you on Income Taxes, it's a miracle you didn't both get audited, he got out between loud guffaws,
"Yeah, even worse he had claimed I had been disabled and was also receiving supplementary benefits from the government, so it was a real mess, I was lucky Dad was there or I could have been liable for his debts, and it's not funny" she smacked his arm
"It's funny Kate, but again why in the hell would you choose such a loser, even back then I knew you were picky about things?"
"He's the one that pissed my parents, well mostly my Dad off the worse, I wanted to move off-campus, I had Mom talked into it, but Dad wasn't budging until I told him I would break up with my Boyfriend if he allowed it, the sham worked, but came with a huge price tag."
"I passed the Bar, and the background check on the first try, waited for three months till I got my full twenty years in, and retired from NYPD. Dad had also settled out of court with Bracken's estate which gave us both stability for the rest of our lives, so I decided to move, buy the townhouse, and getaway. You were on the book tour then, and as much as I wanted to see you, I couldn't bear it when Beth was right by your side, it hurt far too much.
"I've been on four dates since then, all ending before desert, it seems men today have no qualms in asking when you are going to put out, not romancing the damsel as it was, hell maybe I'm getting old, but really after the last one, that was it."
"How long ago was that Kate, if I may ask?"
"It was the same day as your Civil Separation of Property with Beth Rick, over a year ago."
"How did you know about the court proceedings over in England Kate?"
"As you say, I know a guy, but in this case a girl, no really Gina called me and told me you were going through a rough time and maybe coming back soon, then she asked me to see you, which I thought was strange. She told me,
"He's hurting bad Kate, he never got over you, now he's dealing with hurting Beth, which she knew was very possible, but went into the arrangement anyway, but Rick is shouldering all the blame, he needs more than a friend like me can give, he needs to be loved."
Rick sat silently, thinking how much Gina must really love him to call Kate, and how lucky he was to be sitting here, working out things with the only woman who had captured his entire heart,
Kate slipped his arms around her neck and kissed him, "Babe, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now, I promise"
He stared into her eyes, and just whispered, "Always?" to hear her soft reply, "Yes of course, Always"
TBC