...Ben…
He couldn't help but smile. Who could, especially if they'd seen her smile like she was then. He'd been able to save her, and perhaps been redeemed from ever harming her in the first place. He'd fallen in love with her, and he couldn't believe that they were able to have this moment in light of all that had just happened. Then she said it...
"Ben," she breathed; he felt such peace wash over him. His name. Ben. Ben Solo, Son of Han Solo and Leia Organa. Nephew of Luke Skywalker. Grandson of Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala.
"Ben," he replied quietly. He soaked in her smile and vowed to commit it to memory. He laughed, a genuine laugh, and suddenly caught a movement over her shoulder; he could barely contain his gasp. Before him he saw them. All of them. The Jedi who'd gone before them, his fellow padawans from Luke's failed academy, those killed in the Jedi purge by his Grandfather, and some other people he'd never seen but had likely heard of. He was in awe. For years he'd begged his grandfather to show himself as Vader to him. To tell him what to do, to guide him. But today, as he stepped back into the light, finally free of the tormenting whispers in his ear telling him he'd been forgotten and would always be alone, he saw them.
"What do you see?" He looked back to Rey in that moment and knew she'd seen them too.
He smiled and searched the crowd for familiar faces, "Hope," he replied. He didn't know how he'd face the galaxy after all he'd done. Even if Rey would stand beside him, he'd have to be tried as a war criminal and likely the Galaxy would demand his death. But somehow seeing all the Jedi who'd ever lived gave him hope that perhaps he would find a way.
...meanwhile...
When he realized that the battle was finally won, Poe knew he needed to find his StormTrooper. Reciprocated feelings be damned. He had to tell Finn the truth. "Finn, did you make it to the Falcon?" He waited a moment a heard no reply. "Finn! Do you copy?" He felt panic rising in his gut.
"I'm here Poe. General Calrissian...Lando really saved our butts. But thanks for giving us the time to really make a difference." Poe sighed in relief and tried to find the Falcon in the crazy amount of ships that had come to Exegol after hearing the desperate call of the Rebellion.
"Ghost to Falcon, did you pick up a few spare Crew or is that just the age catching up with the old girl?" Poe had to laugh at General Syndulla for that one. She was always trying to prove that the Ghost was the superior craft to the Falcon. But his relief would not last. Once he realized that Rey had saved Kylo Ren from the ruins on Exegol he felt a rage well up within him that he hadn't felt in a long time.
...back in known space...
"Ben!" He heard his name from behind him, but if he wanted to see her, unfortunately he'd have to wait until the small fractured pieces of the New Republic decided his fate. He wanted to turn around so badly, but he knew that his escort would not be pleased if he did. He felt that he deserved their anger and resentment. He'd been a willing pawn. He complied with every demand that he'd been issued. He did everything willingly, to the point of Patricide. It didn't matter that those were Kylo Ren's mistakes. Ben Solo would have to pay the price for them. He desperately pleaded with the Force that he could make it out of this alive, but he knew that if the survivors of this war demanded his head he'd willingly give it.
Suddenly his escort stopped and he followed suit. He didn't dare ask what was happening, he'd maintained the silence he'd adopted when he'd seen the Falcon up close for the first time in about a decade or more. He couldn't bear to think that Han Solo would never fly her again. Chewbacca almost didn't let Rey bring him aboard, and he would have remained an exile on Exegol as long as they wanted if he never had to feel the fury of Chewbacca ever again.
"What seems to be the trouble, gentlemen?" It was the pilot, Dameron, the one he'd captured on Jakku. He hadn't expected to see him ever again. And yet, he was glad the plucky pilot had survived everything they'd all gone through the last several years.
"General, we're escorting this prisoner to a temporary holding area. We haven't got any cells but we've been assured of his cooperation." The man who'd been escorting him hesitated. "Though, to be honest, Sir, we're a bit skeptical of the follow through on those assurances." He didn't know the name of this member of his Mother's Resistance. But he'd been on board when Rey had finally convinced Chewbacca to allow him into the cargo hold. On the way down the familiar path, they'd run into this man. He'd been angry, like Chewy, but in a different way. Ben knew that there would be so many more who were furious, like Chewy, and like this man. But Rey was determined to keep his spirits up. She had apparently been enough of a guard that once Rey had helped him get settled in a seat, the man had left them alone. They'd talked, sat silently, reveled in the strength of the bond the Force had given them, and they'd done a fair amount of kissing as well. He smiled at the memory, and cherished the fact that even though they were apart physically, she was there making sure that he knew that he was loved and supported no matter what. But then the Pilot began to speak and shook him from his contemplation.
"Be sure to give him food and water. We don't want him passing out from loss of blood. And make sure the medic sees him as soon as they can spare someone. His leg looks pretty bad." In fact, Ben's left leg had been broken in the fall Palpatine was surely hoping killed him. He'd needed Rey to support him to the ships, but now he'd been given crutches to help him hobble along.
"Thank you, Poe, I know I don't deserve to be treated so fairly." Ben watched as Poe struggled to compose himself, but wished he'd just get angry at him. It would be far easier to deal with the anger than this kindness.
Poe did eventually give a small cough and said, "Rey said I should call you, 'Ben' now, but it's going to take a lot of proof on your part if you want the rest of the Galaxy to forgive you like she has. Maybe she hasn't had you digging in her brain, but it's going to be really hard for most of us to ever trust you. You have to know that." Poe looked at his feet as he spoke but by the end of his statements, he did manage to look Ben in the eye. He could feel Poe's self control slipping as he recalled how forceful he'd been when extracting the location of the map from the pilot's memories. Ben hung his head and took his seat as gingerly as he could.
"Thank you for not calling me Kylo Ren. That's more than I'd have ever expected from you." He looked at Poe now, genuine tears streaming down his face; he wasn't sure if he could truly forgive himself for all the things he'd done. From abandoning his Uncle to the wrath of Snoke to murdering his own Father in cold blood, he'd been evil. But he continued, "I will do everything asked of me and I won't do anything without your or Rey's express permission. I don't think I'll be worthy of the Galaxy's forgiveness, but I'm going to try to at least seek it from those who knew my mother in the years I'd abandoned her for the Dark Side of the Force and the false strength that drew me to it." He'd meant every word, and hoped that Poe would at least believe that he wouldn't cause trouble while he was there.
...elsewhere...
"Finn, you don't understand! He is the only reason that I'm still standing! He was thrown into a pit and left for dead but he climbed out and hobbled on his broken leg to get to me and make sure that I was going to live!" But she could see that her friend was only able to see Kylo Ren. Finn couldn't see her Ben. She wondered if he knew just how much Ben had gone through since they'd seen him on Endor. "Finn," he'd turned away from her so as to try and make a point. But she needed him to be on her side, to understand. "Finn, I've fallen in love with him." Love. Something she'd longed for all her life. She'd finally found it in a man who'd been hell bent on destroying her the first time they met. It wasn't that she didn't realize just how insane that sounded, but she knew by now that the Force worked in ways that didn't always make sense. Finn turned around at that, and seemed furious.
"Rey! This is crazy! How could you, the last of the Jedi, the one to finally end this war, be in love with that- that Monster?!" He threw the words into the air and demanded that she give him an explanation. "Surely he's working some kind of Dark Side plot on you! He's manipulating you and trying to get you to fall to the Dark Side with him! Rey! Don't let him lure you down the path that killed Han Solo!" Rey was taken aback by the harshness of Finn's words, and wondered if anyone would ever really be able to see Ben when he'd hurt them all so much as Kylo Ren.
"I'll never join the Dark Side, Finn, never." She looked away from him to center herself. When she looked back, he had the good sense to seem sorry for what he'd said. But it still hurt. "I was tempted but I was able to resist. But Ben was the only thing that kept me from falling to the Dark. He watched as the life went out of me, and he took it upon himself to give me the life force from himself. He died too, Finn. But do you know what saved him? It wasn't me. I was too weak to do anything but smile and say his name."
She conveniently left out the fact that she'd kissed him and the resulting smile that spread across a face that had known far too few. "No, it wasn't me who saved him, Finn. It was her, Leia. With her dying breath, she gave the Force her life for his. She was able to see her Ben, her only son, her only child, one last time through the Force. It was the most beautiful and tragic thing I'd ever seen." She let the tears flow now as she'd finally lost her battle with them as she realized that she didn't want to fight with Finn anymore; she just wanted him to see Ben the way she did. And she just didn't know how.
Before finishing her point, she searched through the Force to find where they'd taken Ben and make sure he was doing okay. When she felt just how broken he was over his mother's sacrifice, one he felt she should never have made, she let her tears finally flow.
"Oh, Ben."