A Renaissance of Passion
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: Continuation of the Fic, A Long Way Home, picks up immediately after the ending. Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
Previously
"When we walked down to Remy's I heard you saying some of the same things, you were still the cop on a mission to seek revenge, or justice, your call for your Mother. I understood it, I did, but it became more to you, it was your top priority, everything else came next.
"I can't live like that Kate, you said you loved me, but nothing had changed except Josh, and to be honest I thought why is it she only wants me when I am with someone, I'm sorry Kate, that's cruel, but we're getting it all out now,
"Now, I had to make a decision, to try again with you, or go back to England with a woman who did everything for me, put me first day and night, and was madly in love with me, even though she knew you still held my heart, well I really had some thinking to do. Then 10 days later Roy called and our worlds changed forever,"
He got very quiet, then heard the chime of the clock, it was two o'clock in the morning, he looked down as he said,
"It's late Kate, I'm tired, you go on to your room, I'm going for a walk then turning in," as he headed down to the beach,
***************************************************************************/
Chapter 11
The Hamptons
3:12 AM Beach Side of Rick's Home
Kate stood in astonishment, she had done it again, triggered something deep inside Rick, he hadn't shut down, but clearly, he wasn't ready to discuss the next chapter of his, well their lives, at least not yet. She thought once about joining him, but then rethought that idea, he walked away for a reason. He hadn't been cruel, but he certainly had opened up, spoke exactly what he had and was feeling.
She was tired, but there was no way she was going back to that bed, not the place that just hours earlier had seemed like the start of her dream come true, now more like a nightmare. She had not only seen him walk away, she knew just how deeply he had been hurt.
Two weeks ago, she would have bet the world he would never have said what he had about getting rid of his source of pain, her, but she asked for the truth. He was being truthful for sure, and once again she had downplayed his emotions, thinking she was the injured party when he left, how she felt, never considering the fact he left everything he was familiar with to escape, oh my God, he left to escape me, she finally concluded.
The tears fell as she thought, what to do next, running away was always her first thought. She had promised to never run again, and if she did this time, it would be for the last time, she was positive of that. Gone was that push over, that man who would be her doormat, the fetch dog, God Damn Espo, why would he say something so cruel. But was it true, sadly as she thought back it was more truthful than she wanted to admit.
Even though she had promised not to run she had to get away, at least for a few minutes, just as he was clearing his head, she needed some space as well. She made a few inquiries on the search engine on her phone, made a call and then grabbed her purse and unlocked the front door and walked down the drive to the gate. A few minutes later headlights approached, and stopped, she got in and they used the turn around feature of the huge drive to exit the home.
Rick had just reached the back steps of the house when he saw the headlights, he walked around and saw the shadowy figure of Kate Beckett climb into the back seat of a Hampton's Village Cab. He continued inside the house, hurt and disappointed, so much for never leaving again, he should have known it was too good to be true.
He went to his office, reviewing the framed pictures, reviews, letters of thanks, but mostly pictures of him and Alexis throughout the years. A lump came to his throat, his little girl was grown, she didn't need Dad and would be gone soon, and he would be alone again, naturally.
He was about to pour three fingers of his favorited single malt whiskey when he heard the front door open, someone walk in, and then the door closed. He rose from his chair, forgetting the drink for now, and saw Kate struggling to balance two coffees and a bag as she made her way to the bar. He walked out to assist her, but she had already put the packages down. She turned and looked into his eyes, not saying a word,
Finally, after a brief staredown, he said, "I thought you left, I saw you get into a cab as I was coming up to the back entrance."
"You thought I was running away again didn't you, I don't blame you, Rick, old habits are hard to break. I realized when you were walking that we skipped dinner, and I hadn't had my coffee, which is why I probably have this damn headache.
"I searched for open businesses and called a cab. I didn't know how long you were going to need, but I wasn't going to crowd you, so I called the cab and got a couple of sandwiches and bear claws for us."
"Kate, there's a whole display of coffee's and the fridge is stocked, I'm sorry, I guess I never got around to showing you, did I? Yes, I did think you were leaving, I mean you did but you came back. I guess we need to define safe spaces when we talk, I mean, I eh"
"It's OK Rick, I understand, I would have thought the same thing as you had I been in your shoes, but I promised you I wouldn't run, I was going to leave you a note but where the heck does a writer lock up the pens and paper?"
He smiled nervously, not his real smile, but he did walk to the sandwich than Kate held in his direction, it had been several hours since either of them had eaten, and the food was good. Kate was already working on her bear claw when Rick looked up. He put on a pot of coffee, and brought out her sugar-free vanilla flavoring, then walked to the couch.
"I guess since we're both up, we should talk," he said nervously,
"I agree, I need to know the triggers, Rick, just like my PTSD. I need to know what is going to trigger that kind of response from you. I know you're hurting, but it's not my intention, when I ask a question it's not me trying to duck my responsibility in the fuck ups.
"Truth be told, I own probably 90% of them, but we can't keep hurting each other, and when you dismiss me and walk away, to a bedroom, or to the beach, it destroys me. I lose the faith I have built up that yes, we can make it, that there is enough love and forgiveness in us both, you know how I am, and how hard this is for me but know I am trying, I really am." Her tears fall, this time he felt the guilt of hurting her, this was on him. She was right, she was trying, doing everything in her power to make it work, answering any question, apologizing sincerely, what the hell did he want he thought.
He crossed over to her, and held her in his arms, "Babe, I'm sorry, you're right, this is on me, I hurt you, please forgive me, I'm sorry. This is new to me, I've never been in a relationship where I cared so much, that the pain was almost physical when we disagree. You're right, I shouldn't have walked away, or dismissed you, I promise, no more, please forgive me."
She pulled her head back to look into his eyes, and she gently said, "Did you say relationship Rick is that what this is, just so I know. I want it, have wanted it for so long and so badly, but I don't want to assume anything." Her tears still pooling in her eyes as she fought to get control,
"YES Babe, I did say Relationship, that is if you will have me. You have to know I have loved you since we met, I tried, oh how I tried to change it, but my heart wasn't mine anymore, it's been yours for years."
"So, we're in a relationship, like a boyfriend and a girlfriend, Rick, I can't screw this up, and I'm usually not this stupid, but I want to be sure, we are both saying the same thing. If you are asking, then Babe, you know the answer is and will always be yes, I love you more than life. I'm sorry I wasted so much time, and even tonight I upset you, again, I have to work on that"
"No Kate, we have to work on that, by staying and just saying that hurt me, not getting up and walking away like a high school kid, I'm so sorry. You told me you wanted me to hold you accountable, you wanted to fight, then you wanted to, well you know"
She laughed, "Yes Babe, I know, I said it, I meant it, I want to fuck your brains out,"
"Does that offer still hold, Kate, or was I such an ass, I blew it"
They didn't make it to the bedroom for round one, or two. Finally, they stumbled into their big bed, and a good night kiss started the fireworks all over again. This time it was Kate who made good on her promise, she surprised Rick with some of her moves, he never complained. They finally crashed together in a heap, her laying half on top of him, his arm holding her close to him, she had to feel him, and it seemed he felt the same. She was right, Makeup Sex was the most passionate of any kind, at least so far.
Xx
The next morning, well, 11:10 AM, they both awoke within minutes, and after good morning kisses, they were far past the point of worrying about morning breath, they stumbled to the kitchen for freshly squeezed orange juice, and Rick's special coffee he made just for her.
"Babe, do you normally run every day or was that just to work off the energy like you did the other night. I'm guessing by the performance, and the body improvements it's a morning ritual."
"You would be right, I try to run 3 to 5 miles a day, it burns up some of the, well it did, I mea"
"Babe, I run to work off loneliness too, it's OK, just come out and say it. Let's run together on the beach and then we can shower, SEPERATELY, so we can get some lunch, and then finish our talk, what do you think?"
He pulled into him, hugged her tightly, then kissed the top of her head, then locked on her eyes, and planted a kiss on the end of her nose. "I won't start something I know we shouldn't, later OK Babe?"
"I'll hold you to it, if you don't initiate the guns, then I guess I will. Gosh, that feels so good to be able to talk so openly with you. I know, I know, I still have to get through some rough water, but Babe, where are you at and who are you with now? Me, that's what I keep reminding myself of, as unbelievable as it sounds, I keep pinching myself to make sure it's true.
"I like that Kate, please just take it easy on me, I know you've been running for years, you're right, I started it out of boredom, but liked the results so I made it a habit."
"Well, I have to tell you, and don't let this go to your head, but you and that Bod, WOW you look, great love, so don't be surprised if my claws come out to any female trying to encroach on my man." She smiled, but Rick knew she was serious.
They ran four and a half miles, splashing each other and playing as if they were kids, the last quarter mile they ran actually holding hands. As they began their cool down walk Kate, turned his head, and kissed him sweetly, then said, "I love you Babe" then kissed him again. His arm went around her waist as they walked together to their house, and up the stairs from the beach. It was all Kate could do to keep Rick headed to his own shower, she managed to get clean and dressed, working on her hair and make-up before he appeared,
"You're beautiful without any of that stuff Kate, I love you and you don't need any of that makeup for me."
"You're sweet Rick, but I can see where I need help, but I cut back a lot since I do everything to please my man now. God that sounds so damn good, my man," he leaned in and kissed her,
"My Woman finally got our heads out of the sand, I do love you Kate, and when we get back, let's try something new. If I say something that is hurtful, or you need a few minutes, then can we go to a safe room, wherever you want that to be. When I saw the headlights last night and walked in to find you gone, my heart broke into pieces all over again."
Kate bowed her head, she hadn't thought about that, but now she understood, "I'm so sorry Babe, it wasn't meant to be more than just a trip to get the sandwiches and coffee, but with my record, I can understand where and why you felt like you did. I like the safe room, either of us can go there up to one hour, then we need to really talk it out, Rick. I don't want things to string on, like well, I mean,"
"It's OK Kate, I know what you mean, no more lies, no more hiding the truth and I like the one-hour time frame, it keeps us focused on what we need to do, talk about what happened if we ever want to talk about where we want to go."
"I haven't asked, but, Babe any clues on where you want this to go? I know in my heart where I do, but, I need to prove to you*"
"Stop Kate, you have proved to me, you're in this, all the way, and I am as well. I want to take it slow but I do want you to move in with me, I mean we both love each other, and we've wasted enough time already."
"You want me to move in with you Rick, are you sure? I mean that's a huge step Babe, what if you wind up hating some of my habits, I mean I can be a bitch sometimes," she looked up to see his face with the expression like I haven't seen you at your worse,"
"Scratch that, forget I said anything because you're right, we aren't getting any younger so I think living together would be the next logical step."
His smile couldn't be wider, then he looked out the window, and got very serious, "Except"
"Except what Babe, did I do something, did you change your mind, please tell me" panic all over her face,
"Except you would be sacrificing your one and only rule, I remember the day you said you weren't a try and try again if things didn't work out, you were more of a one and done type of girl, and really you are giving up your standards to move in under these circumstances."
"Yeah, funny, my one was already done before I even met you, some standard I set, so you don't want to move in together now Babe? I mean it's a lot, and I, well I will be OK" she said tears at the very edge of her beautiful eyes,
"Kate, would you excuse me for just one minute, I promise I'll be right back" she looked totally confused as he went into the office, perhaps he needed to use the bathroom, God she hoped it wasn't anything she had done now.
As promised, he was back in less than a minute, "I think I owe you an explanation, and also an answer to your question. The question first, I never wanted to live with someone more than I want to live with you, so you're thinking where the hell did he go. Well, I had to get something, you see Kate, I bought this the summer I spent here, alone, hoping, praying that someday you would be standing where you are and I could ask, as he dropped to one knee,
"Katherine Haughton Beckett, would you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me? If you need more time or want to wait till we finish talking about the last few years*"
"Rick, Shut Up, you didn't give me a chance to answer, YES, HELL YES, I will marry you, I love you." Now the tears were really flowing as he slipped a beautiful ring on her finger.
"I know you would always doubt where you stood, had I truly forgiven you or where we one argument away from splitting, the answer is NO, for both of us. This is my commitment to you Kate, I don't care what happened in your past, I am your present, your future, and you are mine. Right now, Babe, I've never been surer of what I wanted before in my life, God, I'm so happy you said yes." His eyes were misty, as he kissed the future Mrs. Castle for the first time.
"God kissing my fiancé is so much better than my boyfriend, I have to tell you." She smiled through her tears,
He held her, feeling the love vibes coming without a word being spoken, it was almost like the passion was brand new, a renaissance of passion and love was how his heartfelt.
TBC