A Renaissance of Passion
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: Continuation of the Fic, A Long Way Home, picks up immediately after the ending. Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
Previously
As promised, he was back in less than a minute, "I think I owe you an explanation, and also an answer to your question. The question first, I never wanted to live with someone more than I want to live with you, so you're thinking where the hell did, he go. Well, I had to get something, you see Kate, I bought this the summer I spent here, alone, hoping, praying that someday you would be standing where you are and I could ask,
"Katherine Haughton Beckett, would you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me? If you need time or want to wait till we finish talking about the last few years*"
"Rick, Shut Up, you didn't give me a chance to answer, YES, HELL YES, I will marry you, I love you." Now the tears were really flowing as he slipped a beautiful ring on her finger.
"I know you would always doubt where you stood, had I truly forgiven you or where we one argument away from splitting, the answer is NO, for both of us. This is my commitment to you Kate, I don't care what happened in your past, I am your present, your future, and you are mine. Right now, Babe, I've never been surer of what I wanted before in my life, God, I'm so happy you said yes." His eyes were misty, as he kissed the future Mrs. Castle for the first time.
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Chapter 12
The Hamptons
Later that Day
Kate had held him for the longest time, whispering, I love you, planting sweet kisses on his cheeks, head, and when she could his lips, to say she was ecstatic was the understatement of the year. They lay together on the swing sofa on the veranda and just listened to the waves slap the shore, neither saying a word, but Rick feeling the moisture on his shirt.
"I hope those are happy tears Kate, I hate to think I have made you cry already,"
"Rick they are, the happiest of tears, I was just thinking I wasted all those years, you bought my ring that long ago? What a fool I was to chase you into the arms of another woman. I don't know what went wrong, but if I'm the one that you know will make you happy, I really don't care. I'm not going anywhere Rick, not even for coffee, ever again." She laughed then raised her head and kissed him with all the passion she could find.
"Speaking of that Babe, we still need to finish the story, for you and for me, right?" He grimaced,
"I know love, I know, but it's all going to be fine, actually more than fine, I already know the ending to this book, and I got my man, so even if some tears are going to fall, it won't change that." She smiled and patted his arm, ready when you are Rick," she smiled through the happy tears, looking at her ring finger, still not believing she was engaged to Richard Castle, her, a mere cop.
"Well we had our talk, walked to Remy's which was great and I enjoyed it, although I was still hurt, upset and disappointed in you, I never thought the world would stop just ten days later. Roy called me, got me to his house to talk since he had sent Evelyn and the girls away, he told me everything. I hated him, I loved him, I wanted to spit in his face, then the really threw me into a tailspin. He told me his plan and that he needed to lure them there with you showing up.
"I had one job, park in the back come through the side door Roy had propped open and stay out of sight and quiet till he called me. When he called, I was to take you out of the hangar, even if I needed to hit you. To Roy, it was a matter of life and death for you, I guess he was right but at the time we had a hell of a fight. I called him all kinds of names, coward, turncoat, spy, and gutless were just some, I told him to get Ryan or Espo, that I was done, I didn't work cases anymore." Rick's voice almost cracked, he looked out to the bay, trying to regain his composure,
"What's the matter Rick, was it what Roy said, let it out Babe, he's gone, and I've forgiven him, I did a long time ago. Maybe it's time for you to get closure from this as well, come one, I'm right here." She held his hand, allowed him a few minutes, then kissed him gently as he cleared his voice.
"Well, I started to walk out, then he yelled, I'll never forget the words he used or his tone, 'Castle if you think I'm kidding, just keep on walking. IF she doesn't mean a damn to you as you say then walk on, you won't have to worry about it.
"But Rick, hear me, and hear me good, her blood will be on your hands, and you'll never be able to look at yourself in a mirror again knowing you could have saved her but let your arrogance and pride get in the way.
"Go on, get out of here, I don't know why I thought I could count on you, but know this Rick, no one, I mean no one can control Beckett. You come close, and even then, I'm sure you're going to have to carry her out, but you don't care"
Kate watched his eyes fill with tears as he recounted the incident, probably for the first time since it happened. She pulled him into a hug, and held him tight,
"Babe, oh Babe, have you told anyone about this, I mean I see how this is tearing you apart, but Rick, I'm here, you did save me, you carried me out, but you saved me." She took his face between her hands, kissed him sweetly, and watched as the tears slid slowly down each cheek, eventually turning into sobs as she held him, the love of her life, her fiancé. God, he had carried this for so long, she had been released and free, but he still carried her baggage, even when he was with someone else.
She held him for about ten minutes till he cleared his voice, locked on her eyes with his, the way that drove her crazy with love for this man, and then gently said, "Ready to continue?" She nodded, and he began again.
We were in your apartment, planning Roy's service, and I still had a very worried feeling, I don't know what it was, but you and I hadn't talked, not since the blow up a few days earlier, and I thought, perhaps I shouldn't have even been there*"
"STOP, Rick God Damn it you were and are my partner, you had every right to be there, and if you weren't, I know I would have fallen apart without you to lean on, so no more of that, please Babe, no more feeling unworthy. Rick, you are enough, you are more than enough and you always will be for me, I love you."
"Well we both know what happened, I saw the sun flash off the barrel one split second too late, or"
"Rick if you hadn't knocked me when you did, the shot would have killed me, he was a trained assassin, they don't miss. I'm just so sorry you had to see that, even more, that Alexis now thinks you love me more than her and hates me for it,"
"She doesn't hate you, Kate, she's, well her and Gina both were so afraid that I would go through another bout of depression, it got pretty bad, and I really don't think I would be here without my pumpkin and Gina, they love me and sometimes voice their opinions a bit too loud. They'll come around, they haven't seen the version of Kate that I am going to marry, that is if she will still have me."
She turned his head, and one kiss led to a massive make-out session they finally had to break when hands began to roam, and both were enjoying it too much. They would never get this story out if this continued,
"I hope I answered your question, Rick, do you think I still want you, my future husband. I am still a little concerned about how Alexis is going to take the new though."
"Kate, please let me handle that, besides, Mike wasn't my first choice, nor Gina's either but we trusted her judgment and let her love who her heart led her to, that's all I ask of her."
"Well, OK Rick, but I just hope she can forgive me."
"Well, when you were, eh wounded"
"Rick I was shot, please Babe, just say the words, I'm fine Babe, no more coddling please"
"OK when you were shot, and I was holding you on the ground, I meant those words then and I mean then now. I was so torn about what to do, then well, you didn't exactly tell me the truth, and I knew I had to give you some time. All you talked about was getting out of the hospital and getting the bastard who shot you and paid to have your Mom killed. You were actually more driven than ever, that meant that you had no room for me, for anything else.
"I knew I wasn't ready to jump into a relationship with you or anyone, I didn't know if I ever would be. I guess I was a mess when I got home from seeing you and saying goodbye to Roy, and Gina sat me down for a talk. Kate, if you don't want to hear this part, we can*"
"I want to hear, well, I don't but I know I need to hear it to know where I screwed up so badly, I practically took your hand and placed into Beth's, I'm fine Babe" she smiled a smile, he and she both knew it was forced, but she needed to hear from his perspective how things happened.
"I explained, well started to explain things to Beth, but she knew you owned my heart, and that at the time it was in a million pieces, the first time we actually went out, I think we talked for four hours. She had a background similar to mine, hers was due to a major screwup or as she put it, cock-up on her part when she was a rebellious teenager.
"She had been married young, all the horror stories that went along with that, including hospital stays for broken bones, and finally a divorce and alone after a miscarriage in Philadelphia, she made her way back to London, reconciled with her parents, then lost her Dad two years later, so it meant a lot to her that as she said, 'They were good' with each other, meaning nothing unresolved.
"By this time, we had been working together for almost 10 months, and I knew she was attracted to me, (Rick paused as Kate teared up, and then wiped her eye) then continued slowly. Well I hadn't been with anyone since Gina, and she was the one that kept encouraging Beth, even though I knew it would hurt her, much like now, but well things happened, and then we returned to England.
"She was always advocating for me to forgive you, Kate, she didn't want to win me by default or so she said later. She knew after a while that yes, I cared a great deal for her, I tried to love her, God I tried. When I got the news that you were married, well it hit home that there would never be anything more between us. Things got closer, well for a month or so, till she pulled back and told me I had to forgive you and move on, or return and try to make a go of it, she couldn't go on being a substitute for you.
"We tried a lot of things, she wanted to go to counseling, but I didn't. I didn't need someone to tell me why I wasn't committing to her, why I wouldn't go past the girlfriend stage, even as many hints as she left. Finally, she had enough and asked me when if ever would we get past this stage of our relationship.
"It hadn't been the most romantic relationship for quite some time, because intimate times led to her wanting to discuss next steps, me avoiding them, and we both grew tired of the arguments. She knew Kate, she always knew that you were my only true love.
She had talked to Gina before we even dated, and she warned her, that as she said: "the relationship could get crowded with three of you in it, you, Kate and Rick, so be sure you know what you're signing up for." Well, we thought we could work past a memory, but I was wrong, I couldn't work past you, I didn't want to, even the hurtful times in my memories were still times I spent with you."
He paused, Kate was wiping a steady flow of tears from her eyes, trying to stay quiet, but the tears fell, from those beautiful eyes, and Rick felt the pain all over again.
"I was an ASS Kate, I tried to run, to get away, and over you and your memories, I forgot that my heart was and will always be with you. I know you have hurt the last few years, so have I, and don't feel too bad for Beth, we talked for about six months after we split and I returned to the states, till she got engaged to a great guy, more her age, and more her style. She's happy, and she asked me if I would do one more thing, for her, for Gina, and for all those that had ever loved me whether it be from near or far,
"I thought she was high on reading Keating or some of the other old poets, but she said, 'Rick, go find your heart, you and I both know where it is, and I know it's been taken care of. Forgive her Rick, we all screw up, forgive her and be happy, please?' Then after I promised her I would, she asked if we would come to the wedding, I told her that it would be a bit soon, but we would send a gift, our love, and best wishes.
"Then she asked me if we would let her know WHEN we finally got together, she knew that no other woman would ever satisfy my need, and she was pretty sure I was the one for you. She told me no woman hurts over a man she doesn't truly love, and Rick, I think you are about even on the hurting game, so please for yourself, for Kate, and for all those that love you, let go of the fear and love her. What's the worst that could happen, hell it already has, so don't even go there, go be happy.
"I left for New York that afternoon, for the last time, I was sad for wasting her time, I was sad that I had missed the opportunity with you, don't forget I only knew you were married then, I was feeling very old when my Grandson started talking and walking, and my daughter didn't have time for Dad, so it wasn't a happy time when I came home."
"Is that why you sold the loft and the entire building, Rick, because it made you sad?" Kate asked in a tearful voice,
"Yes, I thought of all the parties, all the gang, Espo is somewhere in Florida, Roy and Mother gone, and now most of the poker gang gone, Bob is just Bob no more Mayor Bob, so yeah too many things had changed. The one that hurt me the most was when I tried to call Detective Beckett and was told that Captain Beckett had retired over a year ago, and left no forwarding address. I thought of all those calls I didn't answer, texts I didn't read and now I couldn't even locate you."
"Do you want to know why Rick? I mean you'll figure it out eventually but do you want me to put you out of your misery now?"
"Yes, please" came his reply, not cocky, sincere as he looked at her as if he was worshiping every inch of her in his mind.
"When you left, I doubled down on school, well I couldn't let the department know of everything that was going on, so I used my middle name to set up an alias, just like Richard Rogers became Rick Castle, Katherine Beckett, became Kate Houghton, my middle name was used to set up my law firm and all my property holdings. I wish I had the courage to have called you when I did it, but I thought for sure a wedding notice would be coming from Fox Run, I'm sorry you were alone for a year and searching for me."
"Who said I was searching for you?"
Her patented eye roll had not lost any of its allure, as he laughed, "OK I was searching, I just happened to run into Lanie and got the idea of the get together at the Haunt as a passing thought."
"I'm glad you did Rick, and I'm glad this ring was saved for me, I know you needed someone to take care of you, I just wish it could have been me, but from now on, it's me and you, no one else, Understand."
"Agreed" he kissed her deeply, I think we need to go inside, as they both noticed the stars had replaced the sun, and night had fallen all around them. Lost in their own renaissance of passion, one that would last their lifetimes.
The End
A/N Once again leaving in the capable hands of you readers to decide how their Happily ever after comes about, or if enough interest I would be open for a short sequel, starting here and working into their lives as Kate the Attorney and Rick well, maybe he would be a writer, or maybe something else. Open for suggestions,