Hey guys, so I wrote this a while back and am trying to get back into my writing. I am not sure when I will have another chapter up because honestly work and school have me strapped for time, but I will try my best to deliver a good quality story to you. I have gotten away from this ship that is so dear to my heart for too long and am excited to revisit it with you. Let me know what you think, your comments will keep me going with the motivation to write more.
Regina
Regina sat at the bar at Granny's, both hands fiddling with the tumblr of barely satisfactory whiskey that once finished would make her third for the night. She didn't know why she had decided to drown her sorrows at the family diner instead of in the comfort of her own home. Possibly because drinking alone with someone else in sight seemed like a safer option than all alone in her too big house.
It was nights like these that she missed having Henry with her every night. Looking back over the past few years though she couldn't say that she would change anything. Well, maybe one thing. The thing that she was trying not to think about. The thing that had led her to the bar and cheap whiskey.
"An hour 'til close guys." Ruby said with a smile as she began to stack chairs on top of tables that lay vacant.
Regina sighed, downed the rest of her drink and ordered another round. An hour was more than enough time to forget why she came here in the first place. It was becoming easier by the minute anyway. Or it was until the all too familiar sound of heavy boots sounded behind her.
"What do you want, Pirate?" She spat out, just drunk enough to drop the tolerant attitude that she had been trying so hard to keep up.
"Do you mind if I sit?" He asked quietly, Regina decided not to answer figuring that like always he wouldn't give a damn what she had to say.
"Shouldn't you be planning a wedding?" The rest of her fourth drink was gone and Ruby quickly sat another in front of her.
"Yes, well it seems that there is something that I have to say before I can do that. If I can do that." Hook waved his hand towards Ruby and he ordered a drink for himself and another for Regina as she was well on her way through the one she had just received.
"Oh I can't wait to hear what mess of yours I'll be roped in to clean up this time."
"It's no mess of mine Your Majesty, I am not the one at fault anyway. It would seem that I have walked right in to one of yours though." He explained, turning towards Regina with a defeated look on his face.
Regina raised an eyebrow and tried to focus on the man in front of her. A task that was becoming increasingly more difficult as the last few drinks began to take hold of her mind. "Do explain. What mess of mine could possibly be interfering with your wedding plans?"
"The one where the woman I love is in love with you." he states so matter of factly that Regina has to blink away the simplicity before it makes sense.
When it does sink in though, her breath leaves her, along with any words that she had formerly known. Surely Hook was out of his mind. He was nervous about the wedding, looking for a way out. Emma, wonderful, brave, compassionate Emma could never be in love with her. Regina searched the man's eyes, then searched her own mind for something to say. "What?" was all that it supplied for her.
"I know this sounds crazy, I've been trying to convince myself that I am wrong for weeks now." Hook swallows hard and Regina can see how hard this is on him. For the first time she actually looks at him, the bag under his eyes, the paleness of his skin that makes him look far older than he is. When he begins to speak again there is a hoarseness in his voice that only holding back tears can create. "Last night, I was laying beside the woman of my dreams, the woman that I have wanted to share my life with since the moment I saw her. She was asleep, she's so beautiful when she sleeps, all the struggles that the years have put on her shoulders slip away, she is peaceful which isn't something that happens often. In her sleep though she called out your name, clear as day."
Regina's heart jumped into her throat. "Killian, I am the last person that thinks that you deserve that woman that you have somehow captured, but there are so many reasons that Emma could be calling out my name. We are friends, we fight alongside each other. It could very easily be a nightmare."
The pirate smiled. "I know that I don't deserve her Regina, I may have been a fool to think she could love me in the same way she does you, but I am not foolish enough to believe that. Love is fragile, I've learned that far too many times in my life. I tried to reason it away the first time that she called out for you, and even the second and third time. The fact of the matter is though that I lost count. I began to watch the way she was with you, the way she smiled, the way she cared. She isn't like that with me. I won't sacrifice her happiness for mine, not when true love is the most beautiful thing in the world."
A tear escaped the Queen's eye and she drew in a shuddering breath. How bizarre fate worked sometimes. She had come to this place to drown her love for the Saviour with alcohol and now fate was throwing a cruel trick in her face. "How dare you come after me like this. How vile is it to see my weakness and aim for it? You haven't changed a bit have you?"
"Regina, listen to me. I just called off the wedding. Emma and I are done. What you chose to do with that information is up to you, but I assure you that I am in no way taunting you."
"You called off the wedding?"
Hook nodded, a saddened look on his face. "Sometimes when you love someone you think of what is best for them. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Please Regina do not make that decision mean nothing. She loves you, and when the Saviour loves, she loves hard and with her whole heart and from what I've seen you do the same. If there is anyone in this town that deserves that kind of love, it is the two of you."
Regina laughed through a sob. Never in her life did she expect to see the pirate truly redeem himself in such a way. Sacrificing his happiness for someone else's. "You will find that love too Hook, and I can not thank you enough for coming here tonight."
He nodded once, swallowed the last of his drink and his pride and left the diner.
"Ruby can I have a coffee? A strong one." It was time for Regina to sober up and do what she should have done years ago.
It was after two cups of coffee and about thirty minutes of continuous shaking that Ruby informed her that it was closing time.
"Listen Regina, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but ya know, wolf hearing and all." The skimpily dressed waitress began. "I know that internally you are freaking the fuck out right now. Am I right?" She questioned.
The mayor simply nodded in response.
"Well, I can't help you out with the nerves, but I can tell you that I know Emma pretty well, and if you care for her even half as much as she cares for you, then you will have your happily ever after Your Highness."
"Thank you Red, I just am not sure how someone as pure as Emma could be interested in someone as damaged as me." Regina disclosed, feeling the shame and guilt from years of wrongdoings slowly work it's way up her throat until it nearly felt suffocating.
"Oh please Regina, if you think Emma is any less damaged than you or that you are any less pure than her you are more ignorant than I thought possible."
Regina began to protest but was cut short by the waitress.
"That woman loves you and you'd have to be blind not to see it. Don't let this opportunity pass you by. Now really we are closed and Granny will be pissed if you're still here so go get your lady."
Regina paid her tab and began her walk towards the blonde woman's house. She had made up her mind that she would go to the woman shortly after Hook had told her that the wedding was off. She had not however developed a plan as of yet for how she would approach the situation. Her head still felt fuzzy from the alcohol and she decided that the long walk to Emma's house would grant her the time to think things through a bit more. She knew that she loved Emma, she had since her curse had been broken nearly five years before. What she didn't know though, and what she wouldn't know until later tonight, was whether or not the Saviour felt the same way about her.
Her stomach turned at the thought of Emma slamming the door in her face. She could very well see the Ex Evil Queen and realize that she wanted nothing to do with the woman just after her wedding had been called off. She could also see another scenario though, one where Emma took her into her arms and told her that she had been waiting so long for her to finally come to her senses. The turning in her stomach began to swarm with butterflies at the thought. Now it seemed that she was a half sick love struck fool.
A few more moments and Regina was stood on the sidewalk looking up at the Saviour's home. She blew out a long breath, still buzzing from the whiskey and the nerves. It was now or never, and she wasn't sure that she could go forever without at least attempting to tell Emma how she felt, so she guessed it was now. The steps up to the front door seemed like mountains, and the click of her heels against the concrete echoed in her mind. The three knocks upon the wooden door sounded like bombs that would wake the entire street, and the footsteps that approached the door like a siren call that would surely lure her to it's will.
"Do you know what time it is? Jesus fuck, some people are trying to relax." Regina heard the blonde shout from the other side of the door and couldn't help the grin that formed on her lips. "This better be.." The door was swung open and the words that were about to fall from Emma's mouth died as she shook away the confusion. "Regina, what's up?" She asked and Regina wondered if Hook's breakup had affected the other woman at all.
"I spoke with your pirate." She began, not sure what else to say and silently cursing herself for not preparing a speech on the walk over.
"Not my pirate anymore your regalness." Emma muttered as she turned and stumbled into her living room.
It was then that Regina noticed the tumbler hanging from the blonde's fingers.
"I know, that's why I'm here." She said as she stepped through the door.
"Don't try to talk me into going after him and begging for him back with a big speech on true love and all that shit. He wants to leave, let him. I'm better off without him anyway." She stated matter of factly, and Regina could tell by the way that she spoke that she must not have drank enough to get really and truly drunk yet.
"Good, I'm glad we're on the same page then, because I didn't come to help that dirty fool. I came to tell you that I'm so very happy that you aren't going to marry him." Regina took a deep breath in, hoping that she hadn't just made the biggest mistake of her life.
"What?" Emma asked, genuine confusion masking her face. "You're happy that I got dumped?" Her voice was beginning to raise and Regina knew that she had to shut it down before the other woman lost her temper.
"Yes, because that means that I haven't missed my chance with you." Her heart felt as if it may pound out of her chest and her stomach as if it may empty the contents of her dinner straight onto Emma's new rug.
The younger woman's mouth dropped open as she processed the words that had been said to her. Green eyes opened and closed and her head shook slowly back and forth as if trying to determine if what had been said was real or simply a alcohol fueled delusion.
"Your chance?" She asked, and Regina was sure that she had never heard the other woman sound so small. The quake in her voice was almost too much for the Queen to bear.
"I want to be with you Emma, I want to love you. If you'll let me." By this point the brunette was a shaking mess. Her lip quivered with the anticipation of the tears that may soon fall over them.
Emma fell onto her couch, looking out across her living room as if she may find the answers that she needed in the old hardwood floor. It was silent for a long moment, Regina giving the blonde the time she needed to process what had just been said to her, and Emma staring into the wood with an emotionless expression plastered across her angelic face.
"I don't know what to say Regina." She said in a near whisper.
"Just tell me what you're thinking Emma." Regina pleaded.
"I don't know how." Was the quiet response she received.
"If you are worried about breaking my heart you needn't worry dear, I have had my fair share and I have made it through just fine." She prompted.
"It's not that, god Regina its not that," she sighed out exasperated.
"Then what Emma, tell me please, because I'm standing here feeling like my stomach is wound so tightly that it may tear apart at any second."
"So much has happened today ya know? I had my last fitting for my dress yesterday and now here I am. Groomless, drunk, and so confused by what you just said to me. Do you know how many times I have thought about what it would be like to have you walk through my door and say that you wanted me? I want you too, but I don't know how to be what you need right now."
Regina's heart fell to her feet. Emma was rejecting her and it hurt like hell. "Okay I understand, I'll go home now and I'll see you around." She said defeated.
"No stay, that's not what I meant." Emma said, standing up off of the couch and facing Regina fully for the first time since she had walked in.
"Then what did you mean Emma? I'm sorry, I'm usually more sensible but right now I can barely breathe let alone think."
Emma took three long steps towards her, until she was almost touching the brunette. Her breath hit her face like a ghost from the past and Regina shuddered despite the smell of whiskey that overwhelmed her.
"I mean that I want you Regina." Was all that the sheriff said before she was leaning forward and capturing the other women's mouth in a kiss so fierce that Regina knew that it could break any curse.
She moaned at the contact, dropping her purse somewhere onto the floor and tangling her fingers into those long golden locks that she loved so dearly. Emma answered with a moan of her own and her hands placed firmly on Regina's hips. It was like their mouths had been dancing together for centuries. Every movement, every breath, every sigh that was pushed into her mouth was pure bliss and Regina wondered how she had ever been able to live without that feeling.
Slowly, ever so slowly Emma led the other woman up the stairs. Discarding clothes and hesitations along the way. For hours they had their way with each other, not speaking, only fulfilling their long unsatisfied desires. By the time they finally laid beside each other breathless and well spent Regina wasn't sure that she had the energy to have the discussion that she knew that they so badly needed to have.
"Hey, what's going on in that head of yours?" Emma asked, reaching around to lace her fingers through the other woman's.
"I suppose I'm just worried that you will regret everything in the morning. That you will lay here and realize that the saviour can't fall in love with the evil queen and that this was all just a night of pleasure that you needed to get through the heartbreak you were experiencing." She released her own worries onto the woman and silently prayed that Emma would reassure her.
"Don't worry so much. I'm here now, and that's all that matters." The blonde yawned loudly and although her statement did little to sooth the mayor's worries she accepted it.
"Sleep love, I'll see you in the morning." She whispered as she leaned over to give her saviour one last kiss goodnight.
"Mmhm, night Gina, " was the only response she was given before slumber overcame her.
She looked at Emma, her beautiful swan, finally hers. She didn't know how it had happened but it had and she wasn't sure if she would ever be able to reign in the love she felt at that moment. Then again, she wasn't sure she would ever want to try.
The next morning she woke to a long lanky blonde wrapped around her, a snore in her ear, and a whole feeling in her heart that she had not felt in a very long time. She sighed and buried herself deeper into the cocoon that she and Emma had created. She couldn't quite bring herself to believe that it had actually happened. That she had actually shared her feelings and her night with the other woman. It was never anything more than a dream to her, so the fact that it had come into fruition was something that she was struggling to accept.
She felt Emma stir beside her and excitement brewed in her belly. Although last night had been everything she had hoped for, she found herself looking quite forward to having their first morning together. Slowly, she rolled over to face her blonde. Green eyes barely opened then shut again protesting the morning sun that had begun to shine through the window.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty." Regina said softly, brushing Emma's hair back out of her face.
At the sound of her voice Emma's eyes popped open in a flash. "Regina! You're still here." It sounded as if it was both a statement and a question, and Regina felt the mood shift around her. As if the bubble she had been in moments before was closing in around her.
"Yes, should I not be?" She asked apprehensively.
"I just thought that you would be gone when I woke up." Emma responded, sitting up and pulling the sheet up with her to cover the body that Regina had worshipped the night before.
"Why would I be gone Emma? I told you last night that I want to be with you." She said in a voice that was so small she barely even recognized it as her own.
"Yeah Gina, about that." Emma began, and suddenly the bubble that had begun to close in was bursting and Regina found herself struggling for air. "I don't think that last night should have happened. I mean, I just got dumped, you were obviously drunk, and so was I. Can we just agree that it was a mistake and leave it at that. You're my best friend in the world, I'm not sure I could handle losing you."
Regina tried to hold back the tears that she felt burning the back of her eyes, of course Emma didn't want her. She was a rebound to assist in healing her broken heart and nothing more. Well, she supposed that she was a friend, best friend, but she wasn't sure that was enough for her anymore.
"I understand." She lied, standing up and quickly putting on her clothes.
"Regina, I am so sorry. I should have never let my emotions get the best of me. You deserve better than me, you have to know that." Emma tried to apologise, but Regina heard only excuses.
"Emma, I don't care what you think I deserve. I want you. I realize that maybe I should have waited, given you time to get over Hook, but last night when he approached me to tell me that he had called off the wedding the only thought that went through my mind was that I hadn't missed my chance. I know you care for me too Emma, you can lie to yourself, but not to me. I'm still going to be right here, your friend as always, but don't try to lie to me I won't accept it." She spoke as she moved towards the door and exited in a haste. She had spent too much time holding back her heartbreak that morning.
She heard Emma speak as she shut the door, but at that moment she did not want to listen to what she felt needed to be said. All that she desired was to curl up in her bed and try to forget that she had ever been so stupid.