Author: The characters of the following story belongs to J.K Rowling and this is my version of after war.

Warning: This Chapter contains violence and sexual harassment. You could skip the Italic part if you like.

Chapter 3

England's sky in the Forest of Dean was heavily cloudy. No ray of sunshine could be seen between the tall trees. Mud was covering the forest's ground and it would stick to everything that was trying to move on it, including a pair of worn sport shoes. The wind was howling like a woman calling for a lost one, a husband, a child or many others. The shoes stopped when they reached a lake nearby. The blue of water seemed mostly Grey due to dark clouds covering Sky's face. The last time Harry had walked to this lake; he had been following Snape's or rather his mother's deer. His feet took him around till he was walking in circles right on the edge of the lake. Snape must had been hiding somewhere close. In the bushes perhaps? Harry sat down on the mud-covered ground and stared at the water, remembering the events of his last visit. He remembered the freezing weather, the voices in the wind, which he knew by then belonged to his best friend of seven years, the silver deer and the lake. His fingers dipped in the gray water as if trying to see it was still icy cold or not. His other hand traced the mark around his neck. The hocrox had been beating like a metal heart that night and as soon as his fingertips had so much as brushed against the sword, the chain had tightened around his neck much like his own hand that was trying to choke him right then. For a moment everything stopped, his breathing along with the flashing images in his mind but then he dropped his hand, shaking his head and tried to reason with his traumatized self that his actions were nothing close to a sane person's behavior. He sighed tiredly and lied back on the muddy surface. He felt more at peace then that he was away from everyone and everything. Back in the castle, he was constantly on the edge. The thought of staying in one place seemed maddening to him like something was poking him in the ribs. Sometimes the breathing came hard, like his lungs couldn't be quite filled. Sleep was becoming like a farfetched dream. There were times he was in need of a dreamless potion so bad, away from the memories of both himself and Tom's, which he had experienced rather than seen in his visions but then again he was reminded of all the pain and misery he had caused. All the people he couldn't have saved. Enduring the sleepless nights to remember that fact was the least he could do to never forget. People might think that he was in pain, grieving of some sort and it wasn't completely false yet it wasn't the whole truth either. The truth was much uglier than noble. So much that it wasn't shareable not even with his closest friends Ron and Hermione. He felt lost more than anything did. Not just lost with his life and purpose. Part of it was because he had done what he was born for and somehow survived he didn't know what to do and the other part was because a dark hole inside him… Ever since he had woken up in the forbidden forest, the hole was there and it only had grown after Tom's death. The absence of the hocrox in his soul had made an empty space, which he had no idea how to fill. Could it be…could it be loneliness? He shuddered from the mere idea. How could he feel lonely after he had successfully gotten ridden of a dark creature clinging to his mind. But that very unknown piece of Voldemort had been with him since he was one. It was with him when he was left at the Durselys doorstep, when he used to dream of a green light in his cupboard under the stairs and wish for a long lost relative to come and take him away, with him when he had received his first letter and found out about the wizarding world. That hocrox was always with him like a whisper in the back of his mind. One he could reach out and touch it if he wanted to and in the absence of it everything was so quite in his mind. There were only flashes, images in a blood red and killing curse green background. No voice …No thoughts. Only memories. Could he ever feel complete again? What if it wasn't gone? What if it had taken over his soul completely? He couldn't risk being around people for long. He could have hurt them, put them in even more danger than before. He wished that it were all in his head. All wrong, all imaginations but what about the sparks that came out of his wand sometimes without him even noticing. His magic was unstable, too powerful or too weak at times.

He widened his arms and looked at the cloudy sky, the urge to scream was becoming more and more and when the first thunder came, he let out the weight in his chest, screaming at the sky. When the raindrops started to hit his face, he realized that he had stopped screaming and was now panting as if he had just run a mile or two. Rain had disturbed the lake's calmness, making the water rise little by little till Harry's legs were under the cool water right under his knees. There on the mixture of rain, mud and grass laid the savior of the wizarding world, wondering what he was supposed to do with surviving the bloody war.

He never realized when his eyes shot down on their own and his body had slipped in sleep out of exhaustion. He had experienced many sleepless nights but the loyal nightmares would always remember to stick to his mind, leaving him uneasy and upset. Sometimes everything happened so fast in his dreams that he could only see blurs moving around yet the sounds were present much like the time he wouldn't put his glasses on. These dreams were one of the worst ones since they messed with his mind so bad that he couldn't tell the difference between the reality and his dreams. A frown appeared on his face as he tried to make out the words people were saying. Someone was talking…no…begging…what was it she was begging for again? Mercy? His mind to grasp the unrecognizable words but the only words he could understand were please, help and don't. His eyes opened widely when he heard a loud yet young scream. His heart was thumping in his chest and he was in a seating position before he knew it. The sparks coming from his right hand told him that he had already had his wand ready even though he was supposed to be sleep. He let out a shaky breath. It was just a dream, he told himself to calm his panicked mind that refused to lower his adrenalin. He was about to move when he heard it again. There it was…the scream. This time his grip on his phoenix wand tightened and he covered himself with his invisibility clock as fast as his wet cold left fingers allowed him. Hermione's purse was hanging loosely from his pocket as he took cautious steps towards the scream direction.

A year on the run had sharpened his senses enough to hear the muffled talking through rain's sound. He tried his best to walk slowly and on the less muddy parts of the forest, afraid of splashing water and informing the yet unknown people of his presence. He held his breath and stepped closer, pulling the bushes aside slightly with the tip of his wand. He was greeted by a sight that made his body froze and boiled his blood instead. His green eyes were fixed on a half-naked female. He could not see her face clearly and therefore her age remained a mystery to him. The fact that he was unable to see the female's face was not because the rain or the blurry vision with his wet glasses on but it was because of a pair of strong yet dirty hands that held her long blond hair as a leash and was forcing her head between his own legs. She was struggling with all her might but another man was holding her hand from the back, pulling hard till the pop sound told Harry that her shoulder was dislocated. The first man used her scream to force her mouth to take his manhood "Let the little bitch struggle Mike…I like them more when they're wild " the man grunted as he pulled on the blond locks in her hand. The man who was holding her hands from behind or rather Mike howled with laughter and kneeled down to trace his wand on the woman's throat outline." Will here is so generous but if you try anything…",he pushed the tip of his wand on the end of her throat painfully, making her gasp in pain and the result was Will pushing his manhood further her throat, chuckling darkly." I'll use the little boy instead of you, so be a good little slut for us and swallow" He rubbed his hand on the girl's neck, squeezing hard before petting it. Mike did not miss the girl's eyes moving towards the little boy who he personally had bound to a tree, leaving him there to watch his older sister being harassed. Harry gagged along with the girl, incapable of holding his vomit from the violence. His hands were shaking and the wand was vibrating in his hand.

"Did you hear that?" Will asked, pausing his actions but not losing his grip on the girl's hair. Harry stiffened visibly. In the face of danger, there were always different reactions inside Harry. One was like a scared innocent child. The very one which was telling him that they were going to find him and kill him like a rat or worse, making him blow them instead. Another one was a part other people knew as the ever noble Harry Potter, willing to fight until his last breath and save as much as people he could manage and the last one…Oh the last one loved danger. The last one that Snape was the first to recognize in him, maybe a little after uncle Vernon, and Serious failed to notice. The very last part of him wanted to play with fire, see if it could burn him. The adrenaline, the rush and the way his eyes changed to look like a predator, not looking for a prey but for a challenger. Harry licked his dry lips, breathing out slowly without even realizing, changing his posture.

"Hear what? It was just the bitch and the rain " Will grunted to Mike, trying to pick up his pace again but Harry's wand decided it was a good moment to interrupt and started to let out shiny sparks, vibrating violently in Harry's hand. No matter how hard Harry tried to control it, there was no use. His whole body was on fire. He gripped the wand with both hand but the instability was not from the wand therefore it was no use to grip it harder.

Both men were fully alert by then. Mike immediately drew his wand and let go of the girl's hands" Fuck, there is no mistaking that Will "Will was next to reach for his own wand, looking at the bushes nearby, cursing under his breath. He pushed the girl off violently" I thought you have set privacy spells man… Who are you out there?" He pointed his wand towards the bushes, disarming spell on the tip of his tongue.

Harry was torn between all of his feelings. The hatred and the fear. He wanted to run away from them and towards them at the same time. Even if he wanted to save his own skin, could he leave the girl and the boy behind? Could he stomach the responsibility of even more death and destruction? At the end, the noble part of him won the inner battel. Harry James Potter was not a coward. Right when he made his mind to interfere and took off his invisibility cloak, the last spark of his wand set the bushes on fire. Mike and Will stepped back in awe and fear, firing spell after spell towards the flames where they could see the outline of a man's body." You want to play?" Harry smirked and stepped through the dying fire, swiping his wands towards the men. He opened his mouth but his mind failed to find a spell. A spell that could ease the rage inside him. For him it was as if time had stopped but in reality, everything happened in less than ten seconds. A powerful spell burst out of his wand, throwing him two feet away and blinded his eyes. All he could hear were screams. Screams of pain and horror. His glasses were knocked out and were hanging loop sided on his left ear. He coughed and tried to fix it upon his face as he was getting back to his feet, ignoring the pain in his chest and the sticky substances on his body. Once his vision was clear, he blinked…and blinked again, not believing his eyes. Those men were nowhere to be seen, perhaps they had ran away while he was down or maybe they were hiding somewhere close, trying to ambush him any second but none of these possibilities did explain the horror in the girl's face or the puddle of blood where Mike and Will used to stand. Harry breathed out painfully and took a step closer to the girl who was clutching her younger brother to her chest so tightly her knuckles were growing white. He watched in confusion as the girl pulled herself back from him, trying to get away, no sign of recognition of the chosen one in her expression." Don't come closer…no closer you…you freaking monster" Harry had heard people call him with tons of different names but he was never called monster by anyone (except for the Durselys perhaps) and to say he was not expecting that from a girl he had just saved was something. He was confused and despite the powerful spell, he still had a sense of danger and unsafety but could not actually point what it was that was bugging him. The sticky liquid was dripping from his face and messed with his eyesight, trying to sneak behind his glasses, moving down towards his nose. He wasn't sure of the spell he had used but he guessed it shouldn't have been anything pleasant. "What are you playing at? I was just trying to save you" He tried to clean his face with the back of his hand and he frowned when he found the sticky liquid painting his hand in red. He laughed hysterically "Is this a game? Because of it is I swear to Merlin, it's not bloody funny" But the tone of his voice was nothing even close to amusement. It was filled with uncertainty and horror instead. He denied the truth laying upon his eyes as the realization slowly came to him. There was no way that Harry Potter, the savior of the light, had just blown two grown man into pieces. A hissing voice much like the locket's whispered in the back of his mind" You know the spell Harry" The end of his hair rose and his mouth suddenly dried up. "No…" he choked, taking a step back. His eyes looked at his bloody hands and clothes as if to make sure they were still red and this was not a nightmare he could wake up from "No...No…no... This… this isn't possible. I…I can't..." He didn't even know the spell so how could he used it against two people at his first shot successfully. He looked up, his eyes moving constantly, back, forth, left and right. There should be something else. Something powerful enough, dangerous enough to destroy a human being in a blink. The mass of blood stained blond hair light a candle of hope in him. He took a big hurried step towards the girl who was clutching her little brother to her chest trying to protect him. She knew…She should know what was happening here. She had seen it all." Hey…Hey…look at me…What happened …It's OK…you're" But the girl never let him finish. Her scream made him freeze." Please…Please I'm begging you…let me go…Have mercy" Harry watched her in disbelief and confusion" Look I just want to know what happened OK? I'm…I won't hurt you" He tried again and took a cautious step towards the pair, which was the wrong move. Because the next thing he knew, was her having a nervous breakdown. Her pained screams started to play with Harry's broken mind. The way she begged…The blood…The boy. Pictures of the final battle were moving in his mind, reminding him of all the people he had killed. Bile start to bubble in his stomach, threatening to flood his throat and mouth. He swallowed the nausea and stepped back from her, placing two hands on his ears to block the sound." Please, stop screaming" He whispered under his breath and said it repeatedly like a mantra, trying to get away from the girl. Next thing he knew he was at run in the forest, tears running down his face, blurring his visions. All that he wished for at that moment was to wake up. So this dream could come to an end.

Thousands of miles away from the forest of Dean, a red head girl was seating in the Gryffindor common room. Hugging her knees to her chest, starring at the fire but unlike her body, her gaze remained cold. Weasleys were leaving the castle in the morning. One more night and she was out of this place. Out of Hogwarts. A sense of relief washed over her when she realized the castle would take a long time to be repaired; she didn't have to come back for at least few months. Hogwarts wasn't always the place she felt suffocated in. Many years ago, it meant independency from her family, getting out of the shadow of her brothers and experiencing the fascinating things every magical person wished. But After this year, she couldn't stand it anymore… She could not breathe, the walls were closing around her and she wanted out. Her eyes moved to the entrance every 5 minutes. Old habits die hard. Her mind still wasn't quite convinced that the Carrows weren't about to burst in and hunt her.

She would have left that very night if the decision was up to her but it wasn't so she stayed, for the sake of her family. For George. Even though school was full of the memories of Fred, The Burrow was horrible. She couldn't imagine the pain George was going through. Aunt Muriel had offered them to stay with her till they got Burrow fixed up again but her parents were too worn out to decide what should they do with the dead body of their son. Bill had volunteered to arrange everything for the time being and it meant something for all the Weasley kids." Step up for Mom and Dad…" True, they were all, grieving but if there was ever a time that their parents needed support it was right then. Her thoughts were interrupted by Hermione's voice" Ginny…I'm sorry to bother you but have you seen Harry?" She spoke softly, as if she was afraid Ginny might break any minute. Could be the fact that she hadn't cried in front of everyone and choose to grief more privately." Harry?" She took a moment to gather her thoughts. Her mind drifted back to this morning when she had found him in the forest with all his damn act of being fine, though she could clearly see he was not But Harry didn't care. For him…Ginny was like any other person so he hide his emotions. She wasn't Ron and Hermione after all. She shook off the annoyance" No, not since this morning. Everything alright?" She cursed the little part of her that still was worried about him. Hermione nodded almost immediately and gave her a fake smile" Yeah…Just wanted to ask him something. You tell him to come find me if he came around?" Ginny's features turned cold" I don't appreciate being lied to" She had had enough of secrets of the golden trio. Hermione sighed in guilt and her mask fell, which warmed up Ginny's cold gaze." I'm sorry. I just didn't want to worry everyone especially after everything… I just hadn't seen him around much and my purse is gone as well…" Ginny frowned in confusion. "The purse I had with me in the wedding…remember? It had a enlargement (?) spell on it. All of our stuff is in that purse...all the stuff from the time when we were on the run…" Hermione chose to take a seat near the fire and join her. Ginny didn't seem to mind at all. "You think he took it with himself? But why?" Hermione sighed" I don't know…But I really want to ask him once he comes back" A rough voice joined their conversation.

"Leave the man alone Hermione. He needs his space"

Hermione frowned and was ready to give Ron an answer. Ginny couldn't help the faint smile. Somethings never changed she thought.

"What do you mean leave him? It's dangerous out there. Death eaters are after Harry's blood. It's not safe to go out all on his own"

Ron rolled his eyes but still took a place near Hermione, which was too close in Ginny's perspective. Perhaps things did change!

"We were at run all the year with Death eaters and you know who after our blood and we're still alright… Harry needs to be away for a bit, collecting his thoughts. It's not every day you kill a Dark lord now, is it?"

Hermione sighed and backed off" Maybe you're right…"

That did it and Ginny couldn't hold back the question anymore.

"What is it with you two?

They both turned to her and replied at the same time" Nothing!"

There it was. The secrecy of the three friends again, slapping her in the face. Ron immediately recognized the rejection in her eyes, which mind you was a first for him. Ronald and reading emotions didn't add up! At least that was the case before they left the wedding. He grabbed Hermione's hand in a bold move that surprised even Hermione." We only have started to figure it out so be a good sister and shut up about it" His ears started to turn pink. This time the stubborn smile worked its way on her face" If you say so…"

Strange things were wars. They broke people, only to make something new out of the wrecked pieces.