"Dad," Kylo said, staring at the hole in the floor with smoke billowing out of it. "I have a bad feeling about this."
"You'll be fine." Han said, hitting Kylo on the back which somehow actually made Kylo stumble forward a bit, almost knocking him into the hole. "I've survived it. It's actually kinda pleasant. Like going to sleep."
"Sleep is for the weak."
"Enough of the Sith stuff."
"Actually, that's not a Sith thing." Anakin chimed in. "Just an emo thing. But Han is right, being frozen in carbonite ain't that bad. I've done it before. You wake up a bit confused but almost like no times past."
"I can't believe I'm saying this," Luke added in, "But I agree with Ben on this one. This is getting out of hand. And what is this even going to accomplish?"
"Two kisses actually." Han said. "Leia gave me one when I went in and one when I came out."
"And how is that supposed to happen…"
"Ren," A shrill voice said coming into the room. "We've talked about this. You can't have fog machines-they mess with the troopers aim which is already lacking to begin with."
General Hux came in, a bigger coat on top of his other coat and a look of a man who was still doing his best to be a good villain despite being completely shafted by two directors and someone who most certainly died 36 (or 31) years ago. What he saw was the Supreme Leader inches away from a carbon freezing chamber (which Hux did not remember being in Kylo's quarters before) and 4 dead people.
Hux opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it just as fast.
He then turned his heels, having no patience or creativity about how to handle this situation. Though it could easily made into something funny-maybe even plot changing or character developing.
"Anyways," Luke slowly turned the attention back to Han, "How is he supposed to get a kiss before he goes in if she isn't even here."
"I've got someone on it." Anakin replied.
As if on cue, Rey was beamed into the room, accompanied Padme and Leia.
"Thank you, my love." Anakin said to his wife.
"No problem, Ani."
Han snorted.
"Whoa." Kylo said, taking a good look at Rey.
Rey was wearing a fancy dress which made no sense since she was living on the run and a Jedi who enjoyed doing a lot of backflips.
"Yeah your grandmother made me wear it." Rey said, hiking up the yellow, pink and purple skirt and tying it up. "It's not as bad as that black dress…or that bikini..."
"You look beautiful, honey." Padme said admiring her work. "Yellow suits you."
"Ben, her eyes aren't that low." Leia corrected her son who instantly shot his eyes away from wherever he was looking. "And close your mouth. You are not a gungan."
His mouth snapped shut but the redness in his cheeks didn't go away.
"You did great, darling." Anakin said, kissing his wife's hand.
She rested her head on his shoulder.
"Even dead you're wearing the same jacket." Leia commented.
"Different shirt though. Got a hole in the last one."
And Ben just stared at Rey, unable to make anything that remotely sounded like English.
"Ben, is there a point in me being here or can I just go home." Rey said, scratching her head wearing a particularly painful bobby pin was sticking into her scalp.
"Oh uh yeah…" Kylo forgot everything he was supposed to do.
"Is that a carbon freezing chamber?" Rey asked.
The ghosts all gave a small nod.
"Ben…" Rey said, putting her head in her hand. "This is getting out of hand…"
"I'm gonna jump." Kylo said, finally able to manage a few words.
"Why?" Rey said, more irritated than concerned. "Just-just why?"
"Because I don't know what else to do."
"How about getting your sh-"
"Rey, only Poe can cuss in these things." Leia reminded her.
Rey let out a frustrated screech.
"How about getting your crap together," Rey suggested, pulling down her eyelids. "And leaving the dark side. Would that be so hard? And what are you 4 doing here anyways?"
"Winning a bet." All of the ghosts said.
Rey let out another groan and turned towards the door.
"I'm gonna do it Rey!" Kylo shouted at her. "Don't you want to do something?"
"All I want to do is go back to the base."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"Are you really sure?"
"Ben…"
"Are you sure you don't want to do anything?"
Kylo puckered out his lips ever so slightly.
Rey's scowl increased ten-fold.
"I'm done." Rey said, throwing up her hands walking out the door.
Just as she left the room she heard the hiss and fizz of the carbonite machine go into action. She looked to the heavens. She gave a loud, exasperated sigh. She rubbed her face again. She heard a loud clang.
'Don't look back,' Rey thought to herself, 'Don't look back-don't look back. You know what he did-don't look. You'll just get all sympathetic.'
She looked around.
There he was, laying on the floor, frozen in carbonite.
'Just check to see if he's alive.' she told herself, stepping towards the carbon brick, her beautiful gown billowing behind her like a glorious sunrise.
He was alright. Well, physically. Personally she thought he had taken one too many hits to the head. She half thought about leaving him for Hux to handle, but she didn't trust the ginger. Knowing him he would just lug the brick into an ocean, not really killing him but preventing him from ever living again.
She sighed and pressed the buttons on the side to release him. He looked so pathetic. His hair did look pretty terrible when it was wet and plastered against his forehead. That being said, she did find the wild and confused and vulnerable look in his beautiful mahogany eyes rather endearing. His little shivers didn't help matters.
He felt around. She knew he was looking for her, hoping that she would offer him something to grab. But she was not going to fall for that trap.
"You were in there for like five seconds," Rey said standing up. "Even if you can't see right now, you'll be fine just as soon. Padme, can you take me home now?"
"Are you sure you don't want to do anything?" Padme motioned towards her grandson.
Kylo looked up at her with those big brown puppy dog eyes.
"Yes I'm sure." Rey said.
"Alright honey."
"See you soon Ben."
"Later mom."
"Ben."
"Goodbye mother."
"Better."
The three women left.
"Welp, that didn't work." Luke stated the obvious. "Kinda cool to see my mom for the first time though."
"Yeah," Anakin said wistfully, "She's amazing."
"Snap out of it Anakin." Obi snapped his fingers in front of Anakin's face. "Are you ready to give up on this ordeal yet?"
"No I am not." Anakin snapped back. "Han, any more ideas?"
"Well the last thing I did was say if she wanted to hook up with her brother I wouldn't stop her." Han said shrugging. "But given the circumstances, I don't think that's a good idea."
"When was that ever a good idea?" Kylo gave the most horrified and confused look at his father.
"It was all an honest mistake." Han said trying to pretend that this wasn't weird with Luke shifting uncomfortably and biting his lip.
"What is wrong with this family…" Kylo put his head in his hands. "And people wonder why I have issues…"
"In your defense kid," Han said. "Your half Skywalker and half Solo-you had zero chance of being a normal, functioning human being."
"Thanks so much for the support."
"No problem, kid."
"Would you stop calling me that? I'm 30!"
"Keep telling yourself that."
"You know what, I liked you better when you weren't there."
Han was about to say something but Luke cut in.
"Can we please just call this thing off?" Luke said.
"No." Han said, looking at his son. "The man's going to get that girl if it's the last thing I do."
"Han, you're already dead."
"Welp then I've got a lot of time don't I?"
Luke sighed and turned to Obi Wan.
"Is this how it's been like living with Anakin all these years?" Luke asked.
"Yep."
Obi and Luke sighed.
"So does anyone have a plan?" Luke asked.
All three turned back at Luke.
"What?" Luke asked.
Han gave a motion with his hand.
"No." Luke said instantly. "Don't even think about it. I ain't doing it."
"Ah common," Han said. "Your like the definition of how you should actually treat women. You even get stuck in the friend zone by doing so."
"You know," Obi added, "If you were to teach Kylo about this, he might actually behave like someone who's not a complete disaster of a human being."
"Ok your comments are getting out of hand." Kylo said, clenching his fists.
"I highly doubt he'd listen to me." Luke said.
"If it means Rey will talk to me again," Kylo said, not looking up at his uncle. "I'll listen."
"I wish I had known a few years ago that all it would take was a pretty young lady…" Luke said. "Fine, I'll help you out. But only because I'm tired of you resorting to the solution of throwing her over your shoulder and carrying her off against her will. Again. Han, wipe that smirk off your face or I'm telling Leia."
Luke hadn't been look at Han at the time, but the smirk vanished instantly.