Today's Story was written by LyraMaeArcher.

MR: Oh! A peek inside Lyra's diary! I wonder what it says! "Dear Diary, Malcolm Reynolds is a nosy, snooping, no-good…." HEY! Wait a minute…. Um… I think we should stick with Marinette's Diary….

Lyra: …. Get out of my room! ::Slams her Door.::

Dear Diary,

Valentine's Day is just around the corner and all my friends seem to have someone to celebrate with.

But me? I am confused. Completely and utterly confused. My heart is in a million pieces and …. not… at the same time.

What IS love?

I thought I knew, but now, I'm just left confused.

It hurts.

Remember back to that day at school when it was raining? Let me find my entry …. Hold on…...ok, here it is:

Today it was raining. I know that isn't all that crazy a thing, and not usually something I would write for this diary entry, but today it matters. Today it matters because I think - no. I KNOW - it just changed my life.

The rain made me fall in love.

Yesterday, there was this new boy in my class. The son of my favourite designer. An actual fashion model. He's got blond hair and green eyes and I hated him. I thought he was just like Chloe - spoiled, selfish, bratty - especially when I found him putting gum on my chair. I was so mad. SO mad. I admit, I didn't really give him a chance. But why would I expect anything different. He is friends with Chloe after all.

But today - it was raining. As we stood there, in the entrance of the school, he explained that this was all new to him and apologized for the gum thing. He's never been to school before. Never had friends before. Never had the chance to before. I think my heart broke then, Diary, because he sounded so…. Sad. Lonely, even.

When he turned to look at me, it was like time stopped. I know he was holding out his umbrella for me to use, but I was frozen. There was something deep down, in his eyes, that I just knew. Adrien Agreste is so much more than the pretty face that everyone sees on bulletin boards. He's more than the spoiled rich boy that everyone expects. He's kind and gentle. And so much more that I can't even put my finger on.

But right then, while thunder clapped us out of that frozen moment of time, I knew it. I love Adrien Agreste. It's like destiny. I have no idea how exactly the soulmate thing works, but - if I believed in soulmates I think that's what we would be.

My heart almost hurts from it all, if I told the truth.

I'm in love and I don't know what to do about that.

I still don't know what to do about it. It's been months and I still can't hardly talk to him without having a heart attack or mixing up all my words. Even when he asked me straight to my face how I felt about him, I couldn't do it. I just keep digging myself into this deep hole. Adrien's only ever seen me as a friend. I know that.

I think it's too late now.

He loves Kagami.

In truth, they are pretty well suited for each other. They seem happy together.

Even though it hurts, more than anything I just want Adrien to be happy. That's all I want.

I know that Chat loves me. Or at least the Ladybug part of me. I just don't know how to feel about that. Adrien has consumed my heart so much for so long that I can't even begin to unravel my feelings about my partner. He's so important to me. It's like he's my other half. But do I love him romantically?

I don't know.

I'm afraid to consider it. If something happened to him …. I don't know if I could live. He drives me crazy with his flirting and attempts to woo me, but I'd miss it if he stopped.

Then there's Luka.

And oh, God, I'm just so confused.

Luka is sweet and gentle and calm and kind and creative - and we get along so well. He confessed straight to me how much he cares for me but has never made me feel pressured or that I have to be with him. He's happy enough to just be friends, if that's all we'll ever be. He knows that I love Adrien and has been nothing but supportive.

He wrote me this song. It totally sings to my heart.

It's just….

I don't understand what is going on with me. I want to both cry and smile over Adrien and Kagami. I don't want to love Chat because he means too much to me. And Luka - he's wonderful, but I don't know if I can ever really be myself with him. Maybe I can.

Is love the feeling of not being able to breathe that I get with Adrien? Is it the safe and secure comfort I feel with Chat? Or is it the peaceful calm with Luka?

Maybe, it's all love. Maybe it's all just different sides of the same thing.

Will I ever figure that out?

Maybe, just for now, I'm going to listen to Master Fu's last set of words: "The real gift is life itself."

I'm going to spend some time and not think about boys or love or any of it. I'm going to live my life and figure out what this whole Guardian thing is all about. It's hard to be Ladybug and now I have so much more to think about.

Maybe, this Valentine's day, I'll just stay home and hang out with the kwamis. After all - Tikki gives great hugs.

Choosing to love myself for now. One day this whole thing will sort itself out.

Marinette.