Chapter Notes:
So this chapter makes light of Snape's internal struggle to ignore how alike Harry's and Lily's eyes are. It also shines a light on how he feels like he has a duty to protect his precious snakes - which he technically does - despite who they are and his opinion on them.
As you will see, Snape finds himself switching back and forth between being gentle with the boy and being his typical Snapey self towards him. Also, I do realize that Snape appears to be a bit indecise with how he views the situation. I feel like this may be a bit confusing to read, but I want to make Snape's struggle between his duties and his suspicions known.
On another note, Snape appears to be the type to hate being disturbed throughout the night, so I feel his extra impatience is rather warranted given the hour.
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Severus Snape did not expect to be woken up at three in the morning by the monitoring charms he had placed on his First Years' dorms. Well, maybe he did - but he was still shocked regardless. Children rarely got worked up enough to set off his precautions. This was because he refused to be woken up throughout the night by a mere sniffle or minor disturbance.
Deciding that stalling wouldn't prevent him from abiding by his better judgement, Severus was quick to dress himself in presentable robes before making his way to his distressed Slytherin. He sneered as he entered the boys' dorms, honing in on the sound of muffled sobbing.
It didn't take long to find the child that managed to wake him, and the identity of this child made his jaw clench. Harry Potter, the boy who was supposed to be Gryffindor's Golden Boy, was curled up at the very edge of his bed sobbing quietly into a pillow while mumbling nonsense to no one in particular.
Severus' scowl turned more severe as he examined the trembling boy. Of all people to wake him up, it had to be the attention-seeking Potter brat. He considered turning away and just leaving the boy to suffer on his own but a flash of emerald stopped him.
Those were Lily's eyes - the same eyes that had drawn him in when he was a child. The same eyes that haunted his dreams at night. The boy was a carbon copy of James Potter in every way except his eyes - and now Harry's unseeing eyes threatened to draw him in just like Lily's had.
"'m sorry," The brat mumbled quietly, tearful eyes glassy and unfocused. Severus used all of his willpower to push aside his disdain for anything James Potter. He had a job to do. Helping his little snakes was his duty - whether he disliked them or not. "Won't do it again, 'm sorry…" The boy continued to mumble.
It took a minute for Severus to realize that the boy was in another place mentally. If he was here, in this room in his mind, the boy would have at least recognized that his professor and Head of House was standing before him. The boy, although they had made eye contact could not see him. The boy was too wrapped up with whatever was inside his head to pay attention to anything outside of it.
"Calm, child, do you know where you are?" Severus had done this many times for his younger and older snakes, but doing it for Potter felt odd, unnatural. He did not receive a response from the boy so he gently placed a hand on his shoulder - casting a silencing spell around the curtained area just in case.
Potter's constant stream of apologies and promises to "do better" increased in volume from the moment the professor's hand made contact with his shoulder. Severus decided to take another approach. Reluctantly grasping the boy's hand with great care, he began to rub circles on the palm of the small hand with his thumb.
"You're in Hogwarts, Harry," The use of the boy's named brought out an obvious reaction from him. The green eyes he had had a peek of earlier made direct contact with Severus' dark ones. "Whatever is troubling you is of no threat. You shall be fine, child." His silky voice came out gentle, calm, free of any malice or hatred.
Potter whimpered again, shifting closer to Severus slightly - realizing how close to the edge of the bed he was, the Potions Master convinced himself. It took him a moment to remind himself who this child was and why he didn't deserve the gentleness being used on him. The professor retracted his hand as if he had been burned.
What was he doing? What had possessed him to comfort the arrogant spawn of James Potter? The brat was probably faking for attention! The small, insignificant voice in his head reminded him that the boy couldn't possibly faking the fear shining through his expressive eyes.
"Now that you've stopped your incoherent babbling," Severus began coolly, ignoring the pathetic voice that constantly tried to force-feed him morals. "I wish to be informed of why you think it wise to make such a scene over what? A foolish nightmare?" The boy's eyes widened and his breath seemed to catch in his throat. A dim spark of guilt appeared inside Severus' mind when he saw this.
The child was obviously scared out of his wits from whatever he had dreamt. He supposed he shouldn't have been so harsh about it, but the Slytherin inside him refused to verbally acknowledge that he had made a mistake. The boy had woken him up and this was the consequence of it. Severus was not a patient man in the mornings and was rarely one in the afternoons. In fact, he was never a patient man - but especially not at three in the bloody morning.
"Well, Potter? I'd rather not be kept awake at this ungodly hour for longer than I must." The child still didn't respond, still frozen in fear. The professor sneered his most intimidating sneer, "Answer me, boy!"
This command got a reaction out of the child, but not one that Severus had been expecting. He had only encouraged the boy to answer his question, but instead of doing so the boy rolled off the edge of the bed and scrambled underneath the bed. The boy whimpered and the sound of quiet sobbing started up again.
'I am not cut out for this,' Severus realized. He could not simply leave the boy in this state - Poppy would have his head if he did that to the precious Potter brat - but he also didn't want to be awake this early in the morning if all the brat was going to do was cry. Crouching down so that he could see the cowering child, he cursed himself for not thinking to bring a calming draught.
His snakes often woke up from horrid nightmares and when it was bad enough for the wards to alert him of the child's distress, calming draughts were usually the first thing he grabbed before attempting to help said child. If only he had thought before he had rushed off to help the brat - then he would have been back in bed by now.
"Enough of this foolishness Potter–" Once again, Severus ignored the small part of him that pitied the boy. "–I will not tolerate such cowardice. Come out from under there and I shall consider retrieving a calming draught to ease your worries." He said this more gently than he had meant to and winced when he realized it.
"S-Sorry Professor," The apology was almost inaudible, but Severus wasn't known as the Bat-of-the-Dungeons without reason. "Didn't mean to wake you…" The boy seemed to be in his right mind now– even if he was yet to emerge from underneath the bed. Severus scowled at the pitiful apology.
Severus' scowl turned menacing as realization dawned on him completely. This was probably all an act to gain pity. Well it wasn't going to work on him, perhaps it would on that foolish Gryffindor, Minerva, but not him. Eyes narrowing, the Head of House stood abruptly, turning towards the door with the intention to leave the boy to wallop in his supposed fear.
Harry Potter had almost fooled him, but he had realized his mistake just as the boy seemed to snap out of it. He would have to warn Tempest of this behaviour at breakfast - he wouldn't want one of his dearest friends lured into the trap of the arrogant eleven-year-old.
"Stop this foolishness immediately. I will not tolerate you wasting my time. You will not receive pity from me so I suggest you cut the act at once. I shall be leaving now, do not bother me again." Clear and cold, the best way to deal with insolent brats like Potter. He suddenly couldn't wait to torture the boy in class.
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Harry didn't understand what he had done wrong or how he had offended his professor in the slightest. Did the man think he was faking it to get attention? He'd never do that! The professor had spoken so softly to him at first, had made him feel safe if only for a moment whether he had showed it or not. Why had the man tried to comfort him if he was only going to accuse him of deceit in the end?
Harry didn't like not understanding things. It made him anxious, paranoid. Lack of understanding had gotten him in so much trouble at the Dursleys, caused him to be disappointed and let down too many times to count.
Hesitantly, he crawled out from under the bed to grab a pillow. He refused to sleep on the bed again, not after the nightmare that came as a result of tonight - or would it be last night? Eh, Harry was too tired to care.
Situating himself against the wall underneath the bed, Harry cuddled into his pillow, arms wound tightly around it as if someone was going to rip it away from him at any second. The small space gaze him comfort, reminded him of his nice and safe cupboard - a sanctuary he had grown accustomed to back with his relatives.
His eyes fluttered shut as he shoved the memory the nightmare had brought out back into its box. It was overflowing with memories at this point but as long as they stayed there he wouldn't have to worry about them. He laid there silently, focusing on the fact that he had made his first ever friend the night before. This thought eased him back into a feeling of comfort.
When he fell asleep this time, he wasn't met with any dreams or memories, just darkness. Darkness he could live with. He had grown up in darkness since his cupboard had no light in it. It soothed him, made him feel safe. If he couldn't see anything he wouldn't have to worry about watching as his uncle approached him, nor would he be forced to watch Dudley open his mountain of Christmas and birthday presents from the doorway of his cupboard.
Harry woke up later in the morning feeling at peace. That was, until Draco poked his head through the curtain and scared the life out of him. Luckily, he had gotten out from underneath the bed a few minutes prior to Draco's intrusion, so no questions would be asked about that.
"Good, you're awake! Come on, get ready before Uncle Sev finds out you've slept in!" 'Uncle Sev'? Harry didn't want to question the way his friend referred to their Head of House. It wasn't his business, and asking questions always got him in trouble anyway. He was quick to push Draco out of his curtained off area and changed in record timing into his school robes. Classes didn't start until Monday but he didn't have anything else that looked presentable.
Opening the curtain, the raven haired boy found his friend waiting for him impatiently. Upon noticing Harry, Draco practically dragged him out of the dorms and into the common room so that the prefects could lead them to the Great Hall without anyone getting lost.
"Cutting it a little close, aren't you Potter?" Mocked Prefect Flint as he saw him step into the room. Harry lowered his gaze apologetically. He hadn't meant to sleep in, he had had a hard time getting to sleep last night and the nightmare hadn't helped him at all. "Well then, to the Great Hall we go!" With that the first years were led to the Great Hall without incident.
Breakfast was a quiet ordeal at the Slytherin table. The same for the Gryffindors could not be said as a certain Ron Weasley ranted and raved at the Gryffindor table. Harry had seen the boy send him hateful looks when the redhead entered the grand room and Harry could not understand what he had done to make the boy dislike him. He hadn't even spoken a word to him yet!
Ron wasn't the only one sending him hateful glares, of course. Snape was glaring at him from his seat at the staff table. He could feel the man's gaze burn holes into the side of his head. He didn't dare look towards the man, knowing that it wouldn't end well. Instead he continued to nibble on a plain piece of toast, trying to ignore how hurt he felt that wherever he went people would still hate him.
P.S. This chapter was an absolute nightmare to publish. The document was bugging out on me and forced me to manually remove lines of coding for every single paragraph. There were other issues with the entire process, of course, but the issue I mentioned was the more annoying one.