A/N: PREPARE YOURSELVES... FOR ANGST!

CHAPTER 10: Disappointment

The next morning she got to school early, having got an extremely good night's rest for once. When she walked into the locker room, she saw that Chloe was giving Alya an interview for the Ladyblog. Marinette couldn't help but giggle at Chloe's rendition of the fight from the previous night. It was then that Sabrina came up to her.

"I hope you had a good time last night, taking care of that important thing you had to do?" Sabrina's arms were crossed, her voice taking on an accusing tone.

Marinette sighed in her head, mustering her patience. "I'm really sorry Sabrina, but I can meet you in the library today and finally work on the project with you."

"Too late! Hmph!" Sabrina turned around, not really accepting her apology. "Chloe and I are doing the project together!"

"You mean, you're doing the project?" Marinette guessed, knowingly.

Sabrina pivoted to face towards Marinette again, surprised. "Well, of course, after all she's been through!"

Marinette sighed at her classmate's naivety and brought a hand up to her shaking head. What else could she do to make amends with Sabrina? She eyed the hat on top of the girl's head. "Nice new barrette, by the way."

"I know, right! Chloe lent it to me!" Sabrina made a gleeful noise as her hands cupped her cheeks. "She really is my BFF!"

Marinette watched as Sabrina happily darted away, trying to get Chloe's attention. Well, I'll have to find some way to do the project with them. Maybe I'll talk to the teacher later… She started to close her locker door but was startled when a person's voice sounded from behind it.

"Hey!" Marinette shrieked and jumped back at the sight of Adrien in front of her.

Adrien smiled disarmingly at her. "I heard about your adventures with Chat Noir yesterday! Were you scared?"

"Me scared? Pfft!" She waved a hand at him, trying to appear nonchalant amongst her increasing internal panic. "It was a dream. I mean, you're a dream! I mean, in your dreams!" She pointed both fingers at him, feeling a wave of embarrassment flow through her. "Oh, this is a nightmare," she muttered, holding her head in her hand in self-consciousness.

"O-kay…" Adrien said, disoriented from her blabbermouth. "So, what'd you think of Chat Noir? Was he awesome?" His eyes were wide, eager for her answer.

"I mean, sure, yeah! But not as awesome as you, of course! Who could be? You're the most awesome-of-awesome!"

"So, that's a yes?" Adrien seemed to consider her words for a bit, before nodding to himself. The bell rang, and he patted her shoulder as he left to go to class.

Tikki popped up on her shoulder, trying to stay out of sight. "You do realize you just blathered on to Adrien about how you think he's awesome, don't you?"

Marinette sighed, love-struck. "He touched my shoulder. I'll never wash my jacket again."

Tikki just shook her head in exasperation. "Girl, you've got to get better control of your emotions…"

Adrien walked away from his short conversation with Marinette a tad bit confused. Her words were a bit jumbled, but he did catch it when she agreed that his alter ego was awesome. She had also said a bunch of other stuff, but he ignored that in favor of focusing on her impression of Chat. Did she actually like his superhero self?

That's… good, he thought, beginning to feel a bit of relief poke through his internal nervousness.

After successfully beating the akuma last night, his transformation had run out not far from Chloe's hotel. He had kind of expected to change into his soul animal shortly after returning to himself, thinking that the soulmate magic would immediately activate after being Chat Noir for so long and holding off the transformation. But, after a minute of hearing Plagg whine about cheese and monitoring how his body felt, he figured that he still had to wait for a bit longer. It was then that he realized he wasn't sure what to expect when he transformed; he was actually a bit glad that he didn't change into a cat in a back alley of all places. So, with the idea that he needed to wait a bit longer, Adrien walked home, only to get a scolding from Nathalie for getting home so late. He had gone to bed after receiving her lecture, hoping that he would transform into his soul animal during the middle of the night.

In the morning he woke up, still human as ever. And that was when his doubts started to intensify- what if he didn't transform? What if Marinette wasn't his soulmate? Doing the mental math as he walked to his first class, he reasoned that he had first touched Marinette as Chat Noir during the afternoon the day before, so the 24-hour mark would be near the end of school. Certainly both of them would transform within the next few hours, right?

He was distracted all day, waiting for it to just happen already. He kept glancing back at Marinette, wondering what she was thinking and feeling. Did she feel the spark, too? Was she even aware that she might find her soulmate today? Would she be okay with him being the one? His patience was wearing thin.

There was one moment in the day where he thought of Ladybug, when Alya brought up yesterday's library fight with Evillustrator. He felt a surge of guilt flow through him at the thought of his lady; he felt like he was betraying her by hoping that he had found his soulmate in Marinette. Surely she would understand, right? It was a basically a given in their society that soulmates won over other romantic relationships, as the bond between soulmates was just that much stronger. He was surprisingly okay with letting go his affections for Ladybug if it meant gaining Marinette as his soulmate.

Eventually, the final bell rang, and everyone started packing up; some students headed home, while others went to participate in their afterschool extracurriculars. Adrien sat in his seat numbly, a wave of disappointment flowing through him. He watched as Marinette and Alya walked out the classroom door together, discussing the literature homework.

"Dude."

Why hasn't it happened yet?

"Dude, Adrien!"

Maybe he had gotten the timing wrong?

"Adrien!"

Adrien jumped up, finally hearing his best friend beside him. "Yes?"

Nino gave him a look. "You've been out of it all day, man. Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no! Nothing's wrong. Just tired." Adrien knew it was a lame excuse, but he couldn't just tell Nino about his predicament.

It was obvious that Nino only partly believed him, but let it go, to Adrien's relief. "So, do you have time today to work on the project today with me and Alya?" Nino asked.

Adrien nodded as they both stood up from their seats. "Yeah, of course. Sorry my dad was being a stickler about my safety yesterday," he apologized, referencing the excuse he gave his friend last night. "He didn't want me to go out when there was an akuma threat still on the loose."

"Understandable, dude." Nino clapped him on the shoulder as they walked out the door. "Hey, I think Alya said she'd meet us in the library."

"Okay," Adrien said, as he followed Nino down the hall.

The physics project sufficiently held his attention for a few hours before he went home to an empty house. His schedule said he was supposed to practice his Chinese for an hour, but instead he opted to play some of his video games, trying to distract himself from the growing disappointment inside him. As more and more time passed, it became more and more likely that Marinette wasn't his soulmate.

He couldn't completely avoid thinking about it though; his mind kept replaying all the times he had touched her, both as Chat and Adrien. He had touched her twice as Chat- there was no way he would forget her fingers on his chin that second time- and twice, er- three times as Adrien, since they had technically touched twice when he gave his umbrella to her. Surely all those interactions would be enough for the soulmate magic to overcome the miraculous magic. Plagg had said he just needed to touch her as both Adrien and Chat Noir for it to work.

He didn't sleep very well that night, as his mind kept coming up with reasons why they hadn't transformed into their soul animals yet. Maybe the miraculous interfered by also extending the amount of time it took to transform? Maybe he hadn't touched Marinette enough times or for long enough? Maybe he needed to have the same amount of touches with her as Adrien and Chat Noir? Or, maybe his extended time as Chat Noir yesterday caused it to just… not work?

His early morning photoshoot, one that was supposed to end before school started, ended up going long because he could barely keep his eyes open. Not even coffee could wake him up. Nathalie, the make-up artist, the photographer, and one of his father's top designers were all immensely frustrated with him for his abysmal performance. He had stopped apologizing after the fifteenth time, simply too tired to care anymore. When he did eventually get to school, it was almost lunch. Luckily, Nathalie had informed the teachers of the shoot running late, so when he walked in and sat down, Mrs. Bustier only gave him a nod before she continued her lecture.

"Wow, dude, you look horrible," Nino whispered, and Adrien merely looked at him and blinked, too exhausted to say something back. Forty-five minutes later, the bell snapped Adrien out of whatever daze he was in. Had he just spent all that time envisioning weird ice cream flavors and how they would taste?

"Dude, you coming?" Nino had stood up and was giving an understanding but pitying look towards Adrien.

"Yeah, sorry," Adrien grunted, picking up his bag from the floor. He followed Nino in a blind daze but became aware again when he saw they were walking outside. "Uh, where are we going?"

Nino gave him a surprised look as they stopped on the sidewalk. "Dude, it's Thursday. You said you would come and try out that new café with me. You had Nathalie put it into your schedule and everything."

"Oh, right." Adrien recalled their conversation on Monday, which felt like forever ago.

"Adrien," Nino addressed him seriously. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

Adrien was silent for a moment as he considered what to tell his best friend. What was believable that also wasn't the truth? "Can I tell you later?" Adrien asked, hoping to just avoid the conversation entirely. It would certainly give him more time to come up with a feasible excuse.

Nino sighed, and clasped a hand on his shoulder. "Sure, dude. But I hate seeing you like this. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Adrien nodded, feeling eternally grateful he had found a friend in Nino. It was really too bad that he had to hide such a large part of his life from him. Other than Ladybug, Nino would be the first one he would tell his identity to, if he had the chance.

They walked to the café, and Adrien tried to listen as Nino discussed the newest video games and music. When they sat down, he wasn't feeling very hungry, opting to get only an appetizer for lunch. Nino had frowned at him, probably still wondering what was wrong, but didn't say anything. Once again, Adrien found himself thankful to have Nino as a friend.

The last few hours of classes were a blur to Adrien. He knew he had probably missed most of the material, and one teacher had even called him out on his inattentiveness, but he was way past caring. He had probably covered a good portion of the material during his homeschooling years anyway.

As he waited outside for his ride to show up, someone came up beside him.

"A-Adrien?"

As he turned, he couldn't keep the surprise off his face. Marinette.

"Yeah?" he asked, wondering what she wanted.

"Uh, um- I was just wondering, uh, if you were okay? You don't look very good today- uh! Not that you don't look good normally, you're a model- of course you always look good! Er- what I mean is, umm, you looked really tired today, and I just wanted to make sure you were, uh- alright?" Her voice did a little squeak at the end, and her hands clutched her purse strap.

Adrien took a second to figure out what she had asked, and when his brain actually computed her words, a warm feeling passed through him. It wasn't the same as when he touched her, but was caused by her genuine- if slightly disorienting- care for him. She's always so concerned for others, he thought, surprised at the amount of affection he felt for her.

"Umm, I'm alright," he said, piecing together a response to answer her. "I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night, so yes- I'm pretty tired." He gave a low chuckle at that, and met her eyes. "Thank you for asking."

"Uh, of course," she stammered, and Adrien was suddenly hit by the overwhelming desire to touch her again, right here and now. Would one more touch work?

He saw one of her hands had drifted to her side, and he fixated on it. He stepped closer to her, unaware of her increasing blush, and took her hand. When the magic of her touch rushed through him again, he almost wanted to cry in relief.

"A-Adrien?"

He opened his eyes, unaware that he had even closed them, and met hers again. "Oh, uh, seriously, thank you," he said, repeating himself from earlier. He held onto her hand for a second longer before squeezing it and reluctantly letting go. Before she could say anything, a car horn sounded, and they both jumped.

"Sorry, my ride's here." He gave her a small smile, trying to build up his mask again. "Talk to you later?"

"S-sure."

He started to walk down the stairs, turning back to wave at her. "Thanks again!" This time, he wasn't even thanking her for being concerned; instead his words came from the fact that her touch had made him hopeful again. Maybe now we'll transform, he thought, feeling optimistic.

Luckily, he slept better that night, meaning that he was able to come up with a sufficient excuse for both his father and Nino about why he had been so tired the day before. He was still feeling the sleep deprivation, but at least his brain was working now.

But a working brain meant his mind could go in circles again, thinking about Marinette, and desperately wishing- hoping- that they would transform into their soul animals soon. The day went by slowly in his waiting, and Adrien felt his hope dwindle to almost nothing as the hours continued to pass without him transforming into a cat.

So, it was on a Friday afternoon, almost three whole days after beating Evillustrator, that Adrien plopped onto his bed after school and asked his kwami one very important question.

"She's not my soulmate, is she?"

"Nope," Plagg said, a matter of fact. "You haven't transformed."

"But what if the soulmate magic just isn't strong enough yet? I still felt that warmth with Marinette; it's not like I can just ignore it and pretend it never happened!" Adrien was so confused, the what-ifs and doubt churning in his sleep-deprived and emotional mind.

"Kid, I promise you- you would've changed by now if she was your soulmate. Just drop it and be done. Too much stress." With that Plagg zipped over to his trashcan, finished with the conversation. The god of destruction needed a break from all this soulmate stuff; the kid had been sighing for days. In Plagg's opinion, camembert was the only thing that was allowed to be that mushy and gooey.

"Thanks a lot, Plagg," Adrien mumbled, sarcastically.

It was just so… unfair. Why would I feel the spark with Marinette if she wasn't my soulmate? Why didn't we change? Does the universe hate me? Adrien felt bitterness piece his heart like an arrow. Even though his mind argued all the good things that had come from him being Chat Noir, he still felt betrayed- betrayed by Plagg, by the miraculous, by the soulmate magic for leading him on and confusing the hell out of him with the warmth he had felt from Marinette. Apparently it really is impossible to find my soulmate…

Trying to conceal his increasing heartbreak, he flipped over and buried his head into his pillow, but that only made the tears well up faster. No. He would not cry, he would not cry, he would not-

Okay, maybe he cried a little.

A/N: Aww, poor Adrien. Trust me, things will get better in the future!

*Edited 11/25/19*