Trowa Barton - AC 195
_Hanata..." Warmly whispered against his ear. Dark blue eyes, sparkling in the sun's gold light.
_ Hanata!" A dire warning through clenched teeth. Impetuous eyes through a black fringe. Fear, trepidation, the taste of blood and the smell of death.
A loud bang, close by. He jerked in reflex hands flying to his ankle. To fetch... what?
_ Trowa? Trowa! It's Ok, just the engine having a hiccup.
Green, worried eyes. Catherine. He remembered. The Circus. They were... on L3, or L4? L4, they left L3 the previous week.
This name, Trowa, still felt foreign. He wasn't getting any more used to it than the first time she called him. Catherine, she asked him to think of her as a big sister, though, felt strangely reassuring, sometimes there was that fleeting sense of belonging when he was near her.
Maybe it was just a trick of his mind, her fierce protectiveness added to his own need to cling onto someone. Maybe there was something real.
She asked him to see her as a big sister, he didn't ask and complied; it felt right to do so.
Once, he overheard the boss talk about a younger brother she lost while they were kids, Trowa would have been his age. Maybe she too needed someone to cling onto.
He had been fretful when she first brought him to the Circus, certain that someone would discover him for the fraud he was, but they all seemed happy to welcome him back. A few of them asked news about a couple people he seemingly had brought them before. Their names hadn't felt familiar either. Then Catherine had chided them all and no one ever spoke about those boys again, or anything not Circus related.
That had convinced him he might be their Trowa : how easily he fit in their routine, how well the needed actions to set up the camp came back to him. His head was a mess, but his body remembered.
Actually, his body remembered more than he cared for. Some of his reflexes were downright scary. Like when he tried to reach for a gun, near his ankle while waking for an explosive sound.
He was pretty sure it was a gun his hand had flied to. And the brief wary look Catherine had given him wasn't meant to ease his mind.
It didn't matter. His past, whatever terrible thing he might have done, (because what normal fifteen year old boy was so used to carry a gun they would reach for it in their sleep?) he was done with it. The Circus has provided him a new life. He wasn't going to be a fool and leave that for a scary life filled with guns and cold death.
...
Who was he trying to kid? He wished he was ready to shed this terrifying skin and leave it all behind. But he wouldn't dream of those blue eyes every night if he had nothing to return to. It was the only bout of memory that did not make him fell like he was freezing deep in his bones.
Friend? Family? Lover?
What did Hanata mean? Was it his real name?
pickaboo
Time passed, the dreams had started to fade away. He wasn't sure whether he was glad the last thread to his terrifying past was vanishing or annoyed to lose yet another memory. He already had so few of them.
Not that he could do anything about it, either way, and not focusing while doing acrobatics on a tightrope was recipe for disaster.
He had been told, in his previous sojourn with the Circus he had been Catherine's target for her knives throwing act. Now, she was adamant he didn't. He hadn't insisted much. Too afraid his body would react and throw one back before he realized what he was doing.
Trapeze and tightrope, or a mix of the two suited him well. He was agile, and had the necessary strength. And he quite liked to see the world from above, to hear the gasps and claps of the public when he was performing a tricky one. There was thrill in defying gravity, a safer one than whatever landed him on a military hospital.
Probably?
pickaboo
Gundam?
What was it? In Catherine and the manager's mouth it sounded so ominous.
No. He did not want those terrifying memories to come back.
If only those warm blue eyes were there. Maybe.
He had already forgotten, what shade of blue?
pickaboo
Three hours later, he was still shaking from the encounter.
That boy... all his instincts had been screaming at him to get away from him as soon as he heard his name be called out. He wasn't sure why.
He had looked and seemed friendly enough, apparently happy to seem him.
But there was something in him, the way he spoke, the way he moved, his whole demeanor screamed 'FAKE'. Layers upon layers of deception. To hide how much he reeked of death.
Whoever he was, that boy was dangerous. Because deep down, Trowa knew.
How similar they were.
Duo Maxwel - AC204
_ You're not going to pretend you didn't say it today?
Duo's hand fell from his cheek. So that was what had Trowa bothered?
Oh... he was so going to make his lover even more bothered then, and hot. Definitely.
_ If you ever think about running away, you better do it know Trowa Barton." He warned, voice lowering, almost menacing, climbing onto Trowa's lap. "Cause I'm fed up loosing what's mine, or letting what I want to keep slip my grasp before they become mine. And, today, I intend to make you mine. All of you. So run, now, or you're gonna get burned.
From this up-close, it wasn't easy to miss Trowa's pupils dilating, or his quickness breath. Could be two kind of reactions, scare or arousal. Two courses of actions to take : flight or fuck.
_ Please do.
With a breathed whisper, Trowa grabbed the back of his head and crashed their lips together. The kiss wasn't sweet, or nice, and nowhere near slow. It was all teeth and bite. Duo's body boring into Trowa's lean frame, pinning him to the bench. Marking his claim.
Somewhere, the kids were eewing and the grocery owner corralled them inside his shop.
His fingers tugging at Trowa's short hair, his lover's hand pushing on the small of his back, Duo didn't care. It felt too good to stop. He wasn't sure how he managed to calm down just enough to growl against Trowa's lips.
_ You. Me. Bed. Now!
But Trowa shook his head, too far. He guided Dup back on his feet and, taking his hand, dragged him toward the bakery. Or more likely, to Duo's dismay, the bakery's back alley.
Not that he had never done it, share handjobs, blowjobs or even a quick shag in back alleys. With guys whose names he rarely bothered to ask for. This...
This was Trowa there. Him, what they shared, didn't it deserve more than a crappy wall in a smelly dingy shadowy alley?
He didn't have time to voice his reservations before he was pulled between lean, firm tights leaning against a slightly less crappy wall than he had suspected.
_ I'll admit, not the best surrounding, but I. can't. wait.
And it was more mouth pilfering, and fingers digging in his hips, and urgent, shallow, grinding.
_ I want you to keep your promise." Those words, said with urge in Trowa's smooth voice, added to the very explicit way his leg wound up behind Duo's back, were almost enough to provoke Duo's utter undoing. Good thing Trowa's grip was firm, or his knees wouldn't have been enough to keep him upright.
Between pants and kisses, it took a while for Duo to tell Trowa he needed to turn around.
ultimately, Trowa did, his pants were opened and Duo fell to his knees. He was going to get started when a finger poked the side of his head. In the hand, a small square packet he took.
_ Lemon scented refreshing towel? Where did you get that?
_ The shuttle lunch tray. I didn't have time to shower today.
_ There's alcohol, it's gonna sting.
_ Better that than gross you away.
Duo let his forehead lean against a very well formed cheek and huffed a laugh, touched. Then let his hands and lips travel up along his lovers spine until he was molded against Trowa's back. His clothed crotch against naked ass.
_ You really are the sweetest. Makes we want to tie you to bed and never let go.
_ Less talking, more moving." Trowa growled, pushing his ass into Duo for emphasis.
Duo grinned and kissed his neck before sliding back down.
And made Trowa mewl. As he promised. Until His tall lover decided it wasn't enough and urged him to take thing more seriously.
_ You sure?
pickaboo
Yes, Trowa had been sure, very sure. From behind first, in an awkward position due to their height difference that Duo would have never been able to hold (perks of dating an acrobat) then facing, Trowa's legs wound around Duo's waist and torso his back full of scratches from the wall.
Actually, Trowa already knew quite well how he liked to be taken : sharp and shallow thrusts, deeply buried. Long thrusts felt 'weird'. And that bothered Duo a bit.
So, instead of being blissfully asleep in his bed, his lover peaceful by his side, Duo was wondering.
From what little Heero had let slip about his and Trowa intimate life, Heero was pure bottom. And they were supposed to have only known each other.
So, when and how Trowa did learn how he liked to be taken?
Why did he hide it from Heero?
Not that Duo was going to ask. It concerned a relationship that was already over, but... if Trowa had lied to Heero, what was telling he wouldn't lie to Duo, someday?
_ I can hear your brain running wild from here.
Duo almost jumped to the floor. Had that crafty bastard learnt from Heero how to fake deep sleep well enough to fool Duo's senses? Or had he been too deep into in own head.
_ Du-oo..." Trowa sing-songed to him with a flick on his side.
No more hiding, no more runing. Duo breathed.
_ How did you know?" Trowa raised one eyebrow. "How you like to bottom?
The light was dim, only coming from the outside's nightlight. It was all the more annoying that Duo could clearly see that Trowa had hoped he wouldn't catch on that particular slip.
_ Once, I slept with... another guy. Spent the night with him.
_ Why did you hide it from Heero?
_ He knows. He knew when I... planed to do it. He didn't want to let me, obviously. Until we had no other choice.
_ Sounds ominous.
_ I was underage, it was the safest, and quickest way to get rid of that man's interference.
_ Safest? Because you knew what kind of lover he was? You knew he wouldn't rape your ass raw if he realized you were setting him up? Safe for who exactly?
Duo took a deep breath and tried his best to calm down. He had a really bad feeling that he knew who had been the 'interfering man they needed to get rid of'. And from Trowa's surprised expression, surprised and a bit annoyed, he didn't understand why Duo was getting worked up.
Given their issues, Trowa probably didn't know about Heero's nightmare.
_ If I had been him, I wouldn't have let you take that kind of risk. Not with the way Bauer had been looking at Wufei the entire time.
Duo had never been able to forget, that dangerous mix between lust and disgust. Like he wanted both to fuck the hell out of the Chinese boy and behead him as the same time.
Trowa straightened his stance, gently rubbing Duo's arm. Trying to sooth him the way he probably did when his Tiere were upset, Duo noted bemused.
_ It's OK Duo, nothing bad happened. And it was a long time ago.
Maybe it was, for Trowa. But Duo still sometimes woke-up with that burning sensation of suffocating. And he was ready to bet Wufei did too. Even if the bastard would probably never admit it to anyone.
And Duo knew, it wasn't for Heero.
_ He's still having nightmares about it." Duo finally admitted. And Heero can threaten to kill him all he wanted, later. That needed to be said. "Heero. He still regrets letting you literally risk your ass for my sake.
This time it was Trowa's turn to sight, deeply, hiss hands hanging between his knees.
_ Did he... did he tell you? I mean... You didn't know I haven't always been faithful until know...
_ His drawings told me.
Duo winced at the almost wounded look Trowa threw him.
_ He... stopped burning them.
He got up and went to his drawer.
_ Nope, but he never objected when I flipped through those drawings as he made them. And he only agreed for me to keep the one I wanted on the condition he'll never have to see them. It's not about Heero not wanting others to see those drawings. He doesn't want to be reminded of it.
And the nightmares that prompted them in the first place. To Duo, or anyone who would look at them, it was just pretty drawings. To Heero, it was painful reminders.
Duo handed the folder he had hidden under his rarely used winter clothes to Trowa and went swiftly back under the cover. Low temperatures and nakedness didn't get along well.
Five sheets in.
_ Not what I expected. It's so... nice actually.
_ Heero rewrite his nightmares with nice stuff instead.
He only got a nod in reply. Roughly, it took half the folder for Trowa to state the obvious.
_ There is no picture of me there. What's that supposed to mean?
Duo flopped on his back and with a one handed vague gesture encouraged him to keep on going through the folder. Trowa would reach the sub-folder with all of 'his' drawings. The sexy kind, only of Trowa.
There had been one, only once, who did not picture Heero's one only love. Duo only got a glimpse of an half finished, half crossed off drawing (like Heero had only realized mid-way what, or who, he was drawing and hadn't liked it) before putting that sheet back in the trash pile. Neither never said anything about that naked hip with a too distinctive set of moles to be random.
It was not Duo's business anyway.
_ Ow...
Sounded like Trowa had finally reached the good stuff. One Duo liked most was a Trowa, all naked glory and inviting, sprawled on his back onto a nest of overly large pillows, orient-style. Sexy as hell.
Heero might have less sex appeal than a sea-cucumber, he knew how to draw smutty stuff.
The folder, now nicely closed, ended back on Duo's stomach.
_ Does Heero only draw me in that kind of surrouding, or are those only the ones you prefer?
_ Mostly, first answer. I might have seen some of you in a space suit swimming between stars a couple times, though. Barely sketched. I believe it's those that hurt him them most.
Trowa grimaced, he knew where those came from. Not that Heero could have done anything to avoid that tragedy. Quatre blowing up Trowa. And very nearly do the same to Heero right after.
Somehow, Duo suspected Heero had regretted he made it through that predicament alive for a long time.
_ It wasn't his fault. Quatre... We were together trying to get him back to his senses. It happened to be me, it could have been him as well.
_ I believe he wished it had been him. And he had been the last one to know, when Quatre and I found you.
_ Duo." Trowa gave him a meaningful look, not what that was supposed to mean, but still... "You. You found me.
_ And Quatre was the one who managed to reach you.
Trowa stared some more. Enough to almost make Duo uncomfortable. Until he made up his mind.
_ Once, quite a while ago, I asked Heero what he was seeing in you. Why, he liked you so much.
Well, that was going way away from anything Duo might have expected. Especially while they were both naked in bed.
_ Lemme guess, my incredible smile and wits." As usual, Duo tried to pass off the self-consciousness with some joke. Trowa gave him a funny look.
_ He said you were genuine.
To that, Duo had nothing to say. His mouth was too busy gaping. 'Genuine' was like at the bottom of the list of possible qualifiers for him. Trowa huffed a laugh.
_ Exactly what I thought at the time. Then I got to know you a bit better during the years. And... that night.
Yeah, Trowa didn't really need to tell which night, Christmas two years ago.
_ I'm glad you kept on coming to the circus, even when you weren't really welcomed. Now, I understand what he meant.
_ Please enlighten me. Because I don't.
_ You're always true to yourself. No matter how much posturing you pout on, you always act according to you feelings and conviction. You never shied back from standing up to us when you though we were being unreasonable.
_ Not that I had much luck getting you to listen." Duo muttered sullen. He remembered a couple punches he got for speaking up, that was not fond memories.
_ You were the most level headed of us all. I would apologize, but I don't think it will change anything now.
Duo flipped a hand again, no, it was way too late. Didn't matter anymore. They both grew up since, they were different people, mostly.
_ Anyway," Trowa went back on track. "That's what I love about you too.
This time, Trowa decided to fill Duo's gaping mouth with his tongue and it was a brilliant idea. It might at least give Duo time to recover without being under his lover's scrutiny.