Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to
This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you
Now, I need somebody to know
Somebody to heal
Somebody to have
Just to know how it feels
It's easy to say but it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape

Someone You Loved, by Lewis Capaldi, from the album Breach, released in 2018

It took us a few days each to recover from the injuries, but there had been no more fatalities in that time. After my rather disgusting display of my lunch, I had learnt how many we had lost. And it made me physically sick. Every one of them, no matter how distant or formal they were, I had a connection with.

And to hear that they died, because of a mess I made by getting with Edward and getting bit, tugged on my soul deeply. Charlie had come to visit me for the several days I'd been recovering, confined to wolf form yet again. He knew about the deaths, and like he used to do after Jacob's Mom died, he would brush my hair- fur in this case- and murmur soothingly in my ears, which twitched in response.

We'd both had a shock when he came in to see me after the battle, his face ashen and pale, his eyes wavering a little. I was unused to see his emotions so clear on his face, and as he brushed my fur, he must have caught my wary gaze because he mumbled his reason to me.

"I was with Emily.. and Rachel.."

My stomach churned as violently as my own thoughts. While I didn't know what happened after someone's soul mate died.. the mere thought feeling taboo and painful, it was obvious that whatever had happened, it wasn't pretty. I.. I couldn't imagine losing Jacob.. and I truly didn't know what they would be going through.

Charlie took a minute to collect himself, Jacob watching silently from the adjacent bed in silent support. He bit his lip, a habit I had inherited evidently, before he ducked his eyes, looking down at the makeshift medical wing.

"Emily.. was the first. She was baking in the kitchen.. and she just collapsed. Not soon after.. Rachel collapsed. I found out from Brady. I just.. it was horrible to see them like that. Limp and.. like one half of a complete picture. As far as I know, the two of them are still unconscious."

I whined a little in sadness. I had caused this, whether indirectly or not, this was all my fault. Jacob emptily snapped at me, but despite that, I couldn't forgive myself. Charlie murmured soothing reassurances in my ears as he kissed the top of my head, taking a brush and grooming my fur. Where he got the brush from I didn't know, but it was certainly comfortable.

Once we were up and moving, everything went by sort of slowly. Some of the packs were burying their lost ones at the battlefield, somewhere being burned first, and some were taking their deceased back to where they come from. We offered to do whatever we could to assist, but we were still limited to what we could do. I was sitting peacefully in the meadow, in human form, simply relaxing in the tranquillity of the spot.

Out of the tree-line, I saw the familiar form of Shadow, flanked by one of his children. I wasn't sure which it was from this distance, despite my eyesight. He'd looked like he'd been aged several centuries in the past few days… I imagine losing a child wasn't easy. Well, losing anybody was never easy. In his mouth, there was a black bag, circular in nature and just odd. Smelling the air, the acrid smell of Leech taunted my nose, causing me to cover it with a whine.

The smell that had lingered across the battlefield that day had been awful enough. Still, I wagged my tail a little in greeting but continued to relax into the smooth grass of the meadow. Lush and soft, it was laying on a pillow, which was just what I needed with tender ribs and a recovering paw. It took all of three seconds for Shadow to close the distance, and his daughter, Whisper, was staying a distance away.

There was mumbling coming from inside the bag, and Shadow haphazardly tossed it in front of me, with it rolling oddly like it was stunted. I looked at Shadow with curiosity, and he bared his fangs in distaste at the bag, surprising me a little.

Shadow then stood up and with one weird stretch of bones, in the seconds it took him to rear on his hind legs and shift with a ripple of muscles under his coat changing into a figure more human-like. Whisper looked at him with a brief hint of disgust, but sat and watched with a cautious and wary look on her face.

"We recovered him from the end of the battle. As per tradition, as the one wronged, you are to be the one to decide what happens to him."

And like hell had frozen over, I lifted the bag, and saw the head, the black-eyed and scowling face of Edward Anthony Cullen was looking at me. He was on his side, his cheek resting on the grass beneath him as he stared at her lopsidedly. It reminded her of his lopsided grin that he'd worn all those times in biology back then.. and while they were fond memories, they were certainly tainted now, and weren't so 'you're my everything-y'.

I clenched my fists but kept my tremors to a medium, the resistance being easier than usual. Perhaps it was due to how exhausted I was. Still, it wasn't exactly a face I was expecting to see, and a part of me had hoped that he'd simply gotten.. well.. killed in the ensuing battle. Is that wrong? Does that make me a bad person?

Probably not as bad as what I'd already caused but.. well. I looked around, half expecting to see the headless form of Edward come walking out like the headless horseman minus a horse, but nothing appeared. Some of the hardness in his onyx relaxed a little as he saw me, but I'm not exactly sure whether that was a blessing or a curse.

"Bella."

He sighed a little, almost as in relief. Excuse me? What right did he deserve to be relieved? I kept back a snarl and looked at him with as hardened of a pair of eyes as I could. I was tempted to bare my teeth but instead kept them hidden, keeping my mouth in a firm frown, downturned and tight.

Shadow was watching a careful distance away, his daughter even further away, but he had dropped back to his wolf form, seeming more confident and brave then he was as the young-looking boy. It was weird how human forms worked..

"Edward."

I said coldly, as he looked at me with what looked like regret. One day, a while ago maybe, I would have forgiven him, gone running back to him, but that was then and this was now. And things had changed, so had she.

"You seem a little... different."

He looked almost wounded, but I held no sympathy. How had he even ended up bodiless, and how hadn't I dealt with the Cullen family yet? Still, I yawned, feeling tired and achy and missing Jacob- who was still in the makeshift ward. As much as I hadn't wanted to leave, he'd insisted I went out and got some air before I went crazy. Still, I thought, perhaps naively, that Edward Cullen would be out of my life for good, but apparently, fate didn't like me too much.

"Bella. I am sorry you know."

He flashed a grin that yet again would have disarmed me once, but that didn't exactly have the same effect when he was headless. In fact, it was a little alarming. Rolling my eyes, I couldn't help but bare my teeth. Apparently he looked a little shocked yet again, so I was surprising him a lot today. This morning. This afternoon. Whatever. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands before sighing.

"I don't really care for apologies. What done is done. So where's your body?"

The question came out somewhat coldly, but I didn't flinch. Even with amber-orange eyes, the memory of angry red ones as he took my blood were still ever-present. I wasn't aware it was possible to flinch without a full body, but Edward had managed to pull it off. Still, I couldn't find it in myself to care, not after all that he did.

I still felt angered and wronged by his actions, so perhaps I was still a little too bloodthirsty when it came to him, but I couldn't find it in myself to really regret it. He looked a little upset, and I stamped down hard on the bond, stopping my flow of tumultuous emotions. The last thing Jacob needed right now was to play knight in shining armour and come and save his imprint.

I allowed the faintest trickle of peace trudge through, focusing on how the meadow brought me serendipity and melancholic peace. That was all he needed to see right now.. and I'll tell him once he'd recovered.

"Burnt. To ash."

That sounded oddly painful, especially with how it was his body and all. I mean, it was his body and all. I guess I felt a little sympathetic to him? Despite everything he'd done.. to be robbed of mobility.. well, I drew too many parallels with Billy and his accident. Vampires had a healing ability that rivalled our own.. so did he just grow a new body or?..

Apparently repeating that was seen as a stupid question as Edward shook his head so violently he rolled over. Sighing, she picked him up and stomped him on the ground, putting him the right way up again.

"Once it's gone, it's gone. Leaving me as a Vampire with no body."

He looked darkly at the ground, not that he was far from it, before looking up at her again. Tilting her head, he rolled his eyes in that sardonic way I was used to by now, but that had as much as an effect on her as a midgy did. Safe to say, no effect at all.

"Bella."

He began to ask, matching my gaze evenly and no sense of their shared history or their previous grievances. Because he asked me a question I could never answer or be expected to answer:

"Will you kill me?"

I didn't feel many emotions as Shadow and Whisper helped me bury the ashes. I didn't feel complete, and I didn't feel mollified, but I didn't exactly feel bad either. As far as I care, it was a meaning to an end, a way to end the cycle of uncertainty that came with Edward and make the start of a new one, one with Jacob and the others.

It was almost surreal in the nature that it had even happened, and I found myself in some kind of shock. The burial site was far away from the sanctity of the meadow, so it remained peaceful. We buried him under an old and rotting tree, just for the sake of keeping the ashes obscured and out of human testing range.

The trees almost began to wilt further, the decay accelerating until the branches became so brittle they might snap, and the wood splintering so that only a thin layer would remain. I got up, stretching slowly and intentionally as I turned away, walking towards the tree's exit. Jacob would be waiting for me to go... and I had some funerals to plan and some people to console.

I was curled up on my bed, in my human form. Today had taken a lot out of me, and I wanted nothing more than to slumber underneath my covers. Charlie had largely ignored me after I trudged in after an emotional afternoon and immediately collapsed on my bed. Jacob had been a little grouchy at being forced to be on mandatory bed-rest, and I always made sure to have my hair draped around my torn ear.

I was hoping he couldn't remember it. Jacob already beat himself up enough over how I was after I got kidnapped and how I got injured the first time around. Then I went to see Emily and Rachel. They were.. well. They weren't coping well. How could they when they lost their other halves? Their soul-mates. They were distant, not altogether there, and when they spoke it was without their usual voices.

It was like they were there, but also not there. Shattered into small pieces, hard to put together but not altogether irreparable. They were despondent, in a state I'd never seen them before, with Sue, Kim, and the other members of the Tribe/the Wolves mothering the two of them.

But it.. it was going to take a long time to recover. So by the time I got round to sleeping, I was just about ready to sleep. Close my eyes and wake up to another day: because I knew that they weren't going to get easier.

Author's Note

I'm really sorry that this chapter is so short: It's not an excuse but I've been very sick this week and I've been sitting my mocks which are taking everything out of me. Between the two of these, I've been unable to really write more than I have right now.

Hopefully, I'll be back to normal next week once mocks are over.

Before I go sleep, here's the QOTW: And I'm tired enough to not be able to remember if I've asked this before- if I have, I'll change it once I get chance: What are you looking forward to this year?

I'm going to have to go to sleep because I'm about ten seconds away from sleeping.

~Cait