There were several talents that the ThunderClan deputy possessed. He could track almost anything, although his skills weren't quite as good as Sandstorm in that regard. His quick wit was a source of both respect and frustration for nearly every cat he met. And while he wasn't the strongest fighter in the forest or even in his own Clan, Fireheart's aggressiveness in battle had turned him into something of a legend.

However, one thing he was decidedly not good at was keeping his emotions a secret from his mother. It wasn't that he didn't try–he certainly did–but for some reason, she always managed to guess what he was feeling. Fireheart wasn't entirely sure if it was because Bluestar was his mother or because he had a terrible poker face.

Therefore, he probably should have known that something was up when she asked him to accompany her on a walk through the forest.

Fireheart padded silently through the forest beside his mother, making sure to stay ever so slightly behind out of respect. It was a quiet day, but that didn't do anything to alleviate the turmoil of frustrations and worries on his mind. If anything, it almost felt as though the peaceful atmosphere was mocking him, that is if an atmosphere was capable of mocking someone.

"So..." Fireheart meowed after the silence had dragged on longer than he would have liked. "Is...there something you needed to talk to me about?"

"I just wanted to check to see how you were doing," Bluestar meowed gently. "You've had a lot going on lately, and besides, it's been a while since I got to spend any time with you."

"What do you mean? I'm in your den practically every day," he pointed out in confusion.

"I meant time that isn't spent worrying over Clan matters," his mother clarified. She shook her head. "As I was saying though, how are you feeling?"

Fireheart glanced down at his paws. "I'm fine," he meowed shortly.

In truth, he wasn't and probably hadn't been for a long time, but he didn't want to burden Bluestar any more than she already had been. It wasn't as though he couldn't handle his emotions, after all. He could survive having his entire life turned on its head by the discovery that he wasn't a kittypet; surely he could handle a little bit of stress.

However, Bluestar wasn't buying it. "Fireheart, I've seen what fine looks like when it comes to you, and believe me, this isn't it. You're short-tempered and defensive, you don't socialize with your friends as much, you look dead on your paws all the time, and I don't think I've seen you eat properly in days. It's okay to tell me if you're not feeling well, you know."

Fireheart shook his head and continued to stare down at his paws. He was grateful for his mother's concern, but she was worrying over nothing. Keeping a firm grip on his emotions was a part of his duty as a warrior and ThunderClan deputy. Of course, he had emotions–everyone had emotions. The difference was that he wouldn't–couldn't–allow himself to be ruled by his emotions.

Yet at the same time, he was tired of it all. He was tired of being strong; he was tired of feeling as though he was being hunted every time he set foot outside the camp. Most of all, he was tired of worrying over when or how the next tragedy would strike his Clan. Fireheart respected StarClan as much as any of his Clanmates, but it was hard not to resent them when they could grant Tigerstar nine lives and send storms when they were angry, yet wouldn't do anything to help ThunderClan get rid of a few dogs.

"I–I really am fine," he meowed finally. Bluestar just looked at him, obviously not believing a word. Fireheart shook his head. "Fine. Okay, I guess I could be doing better, but it's really nothing you need to worry about."

"You know I do worry," she meowed, resting her tail on his shoulder. "You're my kit, after all. It's part of a mother's job to worry about her children."

"I know," Fireheart insisted. "But...I mean, I just..."

Too late, he realized he was shaking. Gritting his teeth, Fireheart dug his claws into the ground, feeling a slight stinging sensation as a few of them were torn off. Something wet and sticky formed around his paw, and he realized he was bleeding.

And he snapped.

"I hate this!" Fireheart spat, lashing his tail. "I hate everything that's going on. I hate the fact that nothing has been going right lately, I hate our stupid excuses for warrior ancestors who can't seem to do anything useful, and I hate the fact that we're supposed to just accept the fact that someone like Tigerstar is worthy of being granted nine lives. It's all complete and utter fox dung, and I can't take it anymore."

If Bluestar made any move to speak, he didn't notice. Instead, the flame-colored tom paced back and forth as all of his anger and frustration finally spilled over.

"Ever since I became deputy, we've had one disaster after another," he continued ranting. "First our home was burned to the ground, and who knows how long it will take the forest to recover from that? Then we found out that a murderer–or at least an attempted one–was allowed to become the leader of ShadowClan. One of our kits was murdered, for StarClan's sake, and by his own half-brother, no less! Now we have dogs living at Snakerocks and Brightheart lost half her face. And you know what the worst part is? There's nothing any of us can do about it."

"And that's not even to mention everything else that happened before Tigerstar was exiled," Fireheart went on. "I lost my best friend when he started mooning over a RiverClan queen. My entire life was turned upside down when I found out that everything I believed about myself was a lie, and again when I learned that Thistleclaw was on some sort of posthumous jealousy rampage and trying to ruin both of our lives. When I was still an apprentice, I nearly died twice and faced Brokenstar–all while being one of the youngest apprentices in training. And did I ever complain? No. I did my duty to ThunderClan and kept control of myself because that's what you're supposed to do as a warrior. But everything has been going downhill, and I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of everything going wrong, and I'm tired of being strong all the time."

"Fireheart," Bluestar whispered, looking at him sadly.

"I mean...Rainkit is dead," Fireheart meowed, feeling his heart twist at the unfairness of the death of Willowpelt's sweet, innocent little son. "He's never going to train alongside his siblings or earn his warrior name, he's never going to have a mate or kits, and...he's just never going to grow up. And because of some ancient tradition, we're expected to travel down to Fourtrees on the night of every full moon and be civil to the cats who are responsible!"

Bluestar narrowed her eyes. "Do you believe all of ShadowClan knew?" she asked seriously.

Fireheart paused for a moment. "Maybe not all of them," he acknowledged. He resumed his pacing again as he added, "But Tigerstar definitely knew; you can be sure of that. Darkstripe never did anything that Tigerstar didn't know about. He's a follower, not a leader, and he idolized Tigerstar more than anyone in the forest."

His energy finally spent, Fireheart sat down and exhaled slowly. He was no longer angry, just tired and sad. Bluestar padded over to him and began rasping her tongue gently over his ears. Fireheart rested his head against his mother's chest as she comforted him, feeling rather like a kitten who had just woken up from a nightmare.

After a few moments, she meowed gently, "You are not obligated to be strong all the time, and there's no shame in letting your emotions show. That wouldn't be fair of me to expect such a thing of you, especially when things aren't going well. It's true that you have more responsibilities than the rest of your Clanmates, but you're still a normal cat, Fireheart."

"I guess," Fireheart agreed slowly. "It's just...sometimes I don't know why I'm doing any of this anymore. If we're going to keep being hit by one disaster after another until the end of time, then what's the point?"

"Hard times are a part of Clan life," Bluestar meowed. "But no matter what, things do get better. It may take a while yet, but one day, there will be peace in ThunderClan. You've done a wonderful job so far, Fireheart, and I know you're going to be alright. You just need to know that it's okay for you to say something if you're feeling overwhelmed."

Fireheart nodded and touched his nose to his mother's cheek as she continued with her steady, rhythmic licks to his ears. He wasn't sure whether he was actually alright or not, but he was grateful for Bluestar's comfort.

"Come on," she murmured. "Let's get back home and then you can get some rest. Take the day off today, Fireheart. I'll organize the rest of the patrols for you."

Together, the two cats turned around and headed back in the direction of the camp. During the walk back, Fireheart kept silent the entire time. This time, however, the silence wasn't punctuated by any of the millions of tangents ThunderClan's troubles always seemed to send his mind off on.

Poor Fireheart. The guy needs a break or at least a cookie. But no waffles. Firestar doesn't like waffles.

Responses to a few reviews:

draconic skysong: Yep, lesbian cats! Because unlike the Erins, I'm not a FUCKING COWARD.

Totem-Mimikyu: Glad you enjoyed it!

Shadow: Brightheart and Swiftrunner are first cousins, so no.

Bramble642: The announcement was never made public, and I actually didn't publish it in a chapter. Basically, Fireheart just quietly mentioned it to his friends and just like any other Clan news, it spread throughout the rest of the vineyard. I don't think that's the right phrase, but you get what I mean.

Silver: Oh boy, this could be a bit of a long explanation, but let me give it a shot.

First of all, Fireheart does care about Brightheart and his defensiveness doesn't come from any sort of belief that what happened to Brightheart isn't as bad as what happened to Squirrelpaw. But Squirrelpaw is his daughter and she was traumatized, and on top of that, Frostfur was being an asshole by constantly blaming her for the attack.

On top of that, the Clans are good at dealing with physical injuries, but not so much with emotional ones. Brightheart has a gifted medicine cat in Yellowfang taking care of her, and once she recovers enough to leave the medicine den, her Clanmates will help her adjust to having only one good eye so she can continue being a warrior. But when it comes to dealing with things like trauma, nobody really has any idea how to handle that.

And Fireheart knows this. True, there are herbs that Squirrelpaw can take, but even those can only do so much. In the canon books, Cinderpelt says that there are limits to what herbs can do to help a cat's mental health. Most of Squirrelpaw's healing will need to come from emotional support, but with the way the Clans are set up, there isn't a lot of time for that. If you remember from Bluestar's Prophecy, when Bluepaw was grieving over the loss of her mother and then later the loss of her sister, all anyone told her was that she needed to get over it. They had no empathy for the fact that she clearly took the deaths of her loved ones even harder than most (and that's saying a lot).

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, Fireheart's head just...isn't in a good place right now. He's been under pressure ever since Tigerstar was exiled, and things have slowly been getting worse and worse over time. To make matters worse, while Fireheart does believe that controlling your emotions is an important part of being a warrior, he can't distinguish between controlling and suppressing them until he explodes. His behavior towards Frostfur was a result of her blaming Squirrelpaw, worry for his daughter, and several moons of pent-up stress and frustration.

Anyway, thanks for reading!

-TheShadowedWarrior