Chapter 13: Tipping the scale
9th of May 1981
After opening up to the twins, Hermione felt worlds better and even though they were still no closer to finding a solution, it helped to know that she was not carrying the weight alone any longer. And their friendship had definitely grown though her willingness to trust them.
Most of their time together was spent in the library, where they went through their books together. But when the tension on Hermione's shoulders was too much, they brought her down into their training room, where they exercised each other in duelling, charms and transfiguration. It felt a bit like being back in the DA and Hermione enjoyed the small reprieve from the duties, she had forced on herself.
"Maybe we should go and see professor Dumbledore," Hermione said after another day of fruitless searching through the stacks of books. "The man's a great wizard and he agreed to help me to some extent. What do you think?"
"It can't hurt," Fabian said and scratched his head. "I'll send him a Patronus if you like and ask if we can talk to him."
Gideon nodded. "Fine by me. If he can't help us, we can still work on plan B."
"Plan B? What's that?" Hermione asked with raised eyebrows, but the twins cast her a boyish look. And for a moment they very much reminded her of the Weasley twins. If that was a good or a bad thing Hermione couldn't say.
It only took half an hour until the three of them were standing in the headmaster's office and Dumbledore looked at them with inquiring blue eyes. Hermione more than ever felt like she had broken a very important rule in school, but having tried to meddle with time was probably worse.
"Well, Miss Granger. I can't say I'm surprised to see you, as I was expecting your visit for a few days now," Albus said and offered her a Lemon Drop. But Hermione politely declined.
"You see, Remus has talked to me about your… suspicions concerning his friend, Peter Pettigrew."
Hermione nodded. "Yeah, Peter will betray his friends, he'll betray Lilly and James and they will die at Voldemort's hands."
Dumbledore nodded and looked at her with inquiring eyes. "And you've set your mind on saving them?"
"I have," she said with determination. "Remus has checked Pettigrew for the Dark Mark though, but he is not yet a Death Eater. And he's not willing to go against a friend without soundproof."
Her headmaster looked at her thoughtfully. "I see. But tell me Miss Granger, haven't you originally set your mind on saving another family from their fate? Where does the sudden interest for the Potters come from?"
For a moment she simply gaped at him speechlessly. "Pardon? What do you mean with sudden interest? Harry is my friend as much as the Weasleys are, sir."
But he just looked back at her calmly. "This might very well be, Hermione, but please remember that you came back into this time with a certain purpose. Time travel and especially trying to change time is a very dangerous thing. And the more changes you decide to make, the more dangerous it gets."
Hermione swallowed thickly, but she couldn't bring herself to say something in return. And so Dumbledore continued: "The universe as we know it is like a scale. It needs to be in balance. Changing too many things will automatically tip the scale to one side and that is never a good thing. Fate might take something in return, that you are not willing to give."
"Do you mean to tell me, that you will not help us, sir? You could easily save Lily and James. Just tell them not to make Peter their secret keeper," Hermione pleaded and looked at him urgently. But Dumbledore looked at her with sad eyes.
"Even though I'd very much like to help you, Miss Granger, I fear I can't," he said and the twinkle in his eyes was gone. "As I said, the universe is like a scale. And mine is already tipped to one side. I need to be very careful with the changes I am making and as much as it pains me: James and Lily are no priority of mine."
It was as if a bucket of cold water was emptied above her head and a heavy shudder went through her body. Fabian and Gideon must have felt it, too, as each of them suddenly placed a calming hand on each of her shoulders. But it wasn't doing much good, even though it prevented her from leaping out of her chair and storming out of Dumbledore's office right away. "Let me get this straight, professor," she said instead with gritted teeth. "You could help them but you are deciding not to because you don't want to tempt fate? Or because you have tempted fate already?"
The headmaster sighed tiredly. "Well Miss Granger, this is only for me to know. But I hearten you to consider this: Who is it you love most in the world? And who comes after that? Think carefully, Miss Granger. As I said, changing fate comes always with a price. How much are you willing to pay?"
Hermione felt the twin's grip on her shoulders tighten and she swallowed down the answer, she had intended to give. Instead, she nodded pensively and said: "Thank you for your advice Headmaster. I will carefully consider everything you said. But for now, I will excuse myself."
With that, she got up stiffly from the chair and with a polite nod towards the headmaster she marched towards the floo. Fabian and Gideon followed her like her personal shadows. And Hermione was never so glad to have them on her side.
9th of May 1981
Hermione stumbled out of the floo and crashed on the floor of the twin's study, where she kept sitting on the carpet and stared at the floor with unseeing eyes. Her thoughts were a battlefield. A part of her wanted to curse the headmaster and his unwillingness to help them and the Potters', wanted to laugh at his cowardness. But another part of her brain already started processing his words and going through the people she loved most. There was Ron of course and her parents, but also Harry and the Rest of the Weasleys. All of them were like family to her, even though she had already kind of lost her parents when she sent them away during the war. Did that mean they were safe? And what did it mean, when fate took them from her? Would they die? Forget her? Or totally disappear? She didn't know and the questions still kept coming. She had already tempted fate by saving Fabian and Gideon. Did that mean she would be paying already? And if she did: whom would she lose? And how many people could she safe, until she had lost all of the people important to her?
Before she even realized it, a sob escaped her and her first crashed down on the carpet in despair. A moment later angry tears rolled down her face.
"Hermione…" Gideon's voice sounded behind her and a moment later her body was gripped from behind by his strong arms. "Please don't cry." He must have lowered himself down on his knees right behind her because she could feel his abs, as she leaned her head against his chest. Fabian kneeled down at her side just a moment after and put his arms around her shoulders, in the attempt to console and steady her. Hermione accepted the gesture with her heart swelling with gratefulness.
"I know it looks bad at the moment," Fabian said while gently stroking her shoulder. "Dumbledore doesn't want to help us, okay. But we'll still find a way to save Lily and James. Not just because they are important to you. We'll save them because it's the right thing to do." Gideon, who had put his chin on her shoulder from behind, nodded.
Hermione sniffed. "I'm scared," she finally admitted without looking up. "What if Dumbledore is right? What if this universe has something like a scale, a scale for anyone of us? The people I am trying to help at this time are the ones I love most. What if by trying to help them I just make everything worse?"
They held her tightly while she cried and for a while, none of the twins replied, as they seemed to progress her words. But finally, Gideon said quietly: "I know this is a difficult decision Hermione and it is none you should make lightly because you'll have to live with it for the rest of your life." He hugged her tightly. "Maybe you should just ask yourself, what's the decision you couldn't live with in the future? Is it risking your loved ones? Or not saving the Potters?" She looked at the floor for a while longer, before leaning her head into his that was resting on her shoulder. "It's not that easy, but I know what you mean. The problem is that I don't know exactly what I'm risking. Am I risking to kill my friends? I don't think so to be honest. People don't just die out of thin air, we would have heard about it, don't you think?"
"Probably," Fabian agreed calmly. "But in times like these, you can't know for sure. Lots of people are dying around here, and before there was the war with Grindelwald raging. So it's not always possible to tell the reason for somebody disappearing."
Hermione pondered that in her head for a while. She had no problem risking her own life, but had she really the right to risk the lives of other people as well? She sighed. "I want to go and see my parents," she said suddenly and straightened on the floor.
"Your parents?" both of them asked in surprise before letting go of her. She nodded.
"I need to see if they're alright. You know that I already changed some events and I need to know if they are affected. The are muggles..."
"Alright," Gideon said and suddenly he stood before her, offering her a hand to pull her up. Hermione accepted it with a smile.
"You're okay with that?" she asked in surprise and looked at him and his brother.
"Course we are," Fabian grinned. "It's not like they will recognize you or anything. And if we muck this up somehow, we can always obliviate them."
Gideon snorted and Hermione sent them a short smile. None of the brothers noticed, that she secretly stiffened at the mentioning of that particular suggestion.
9th of May 1981
Hermione side-along apparated them into a small alley close to her parent's house in London. Their street was located in a very cosy area and several old but well-tended brick houses with huge gardens shaped the character of the neighbourhood. Here no one sensed the danger of the war that was raging in the wizarding world and when Hermione stepped onto the sidewalk, she could see that the playground which was close to her house was highly frequented. It was late afternoon and most of the parents used the last rays of sunshine to spend some time outside with their children. As Hermione looked closer, she spotted her mother's brown hair and pink coat among the other parents on the playground. And immediately a wave of nostalgia and yearning hit her.
"Over there," she whispered and pointed her head towards the little park across the street. She linked her arms with both of them, having each twin on a side and pulled them with her into the park. And when she came closer she spotted herself on the baby-swing. At the age of 20 months, her hair had been a curly mob of short hair that stood into all directions. And not for the first time she could see the resemblance to her father that was pushing her swing with a proud grin from behind. Seeing him that close to her younger self was almost too much for Hermione and she could feel her throat tightening with unshed tears.
"The girl on the swing?" Gideon whispered into her ear. "That's you, right?"
Hermione nodded. "My parents came here quite often. As a child, I loved the playground, even though I was usually playing alone or with my parents. Other kids were always to wild for me and I guess I weirded them out by using big words."
Fabian snorted. "You were a bit of an overachiever, huh?"
"You have no idea," Hermione said with a dry laugh. They sat down on a bench close to her mum and for a while, she just sat there silently and soaked everything in. The twins watched the kids play with big smiles and now and then she saw their eyes drifting towards her toddler-self. And Hermione couldn't help but wonder what they thought. Was it weird seeing the same person twice at different stages of growing up? She imagined it would be. But just as she wanted to ask them about it, her eyes drifted towards her younger self again. And then it happened: it was like the toddler's body became more and more transparent and for a short moment it totally disappeared, only to blink back into existence a second later. Hermione shook her head in confusion.
"Have you seen that?" she asked and looked at the twins with her heart beating nervously.
"Seen what?" they asked her at the same time, but Hermione had already fixed her eyes back on herself.
"It just looked, like mini-me just disappeared for a second," she said and motioned towards the swing. And just then it happened again. "Did you see?" she asked the Prewetts again, but they just shook her head in confusion.
"No, for me everything looks just fine," Fabian said and fixated her younger self with furrowed brows. Gideon hummed in agreeance on her other side. They waited for a while but whatever had happened to young Hermione, it didn't happen again. It was all a big mystery to her and when the three of them left the playground half an hour later, Hermione had more questions than before. But she had the sinking feeling that something was happening to her. And it wasn't good.