Chapter 15: What is lost

20th of September 1999

When Hermione stumbled back into Severus' sitting room the world around her was spinning. It was all too much. How would she ever be able to make such an enormous decision? But was there even much of a choice? Everyone around her was so much happier and even more important - alive. Wasn't it, therefore, a small price losing Ron, Harry and her parents in return? And had she even lost them? Maybe she could befriend her mother again and build something new with her friends, too? Wasn't it at least worth trying? It definitely was, Hermione decided and strode towards her room. There she took out some more parchment and scribbled a note to Molly Weasley. The woman seemed to know her history and maybe she would be willing, to introduce her to her sons again. Asking her for a little get-together definitely couldn't hurt, right?

The dreams came as soon as Hermione fell asleep. It almost was like knowing about the possibility of having them opened some kind of door inside of her mind. And suddenly she was back at the burrow with Ron, cuddling in his bed or watching him, Harry and Ginny play Quidditch together. It was pure torture and when Hermione finally woke up, her whole body was yearning for a life she could no longer have, or better should not have. Because if Dumbledore was right she could go back and nobody would ever know what she had done or better not done.

Molly's invitation into the burrow for dinner on the same day came the next morning. Even though the note she sent Hermione via owl was rather short, it helped her shooing away her night's dreams. What better way was there to satisfy her yearning after her boyfriend then being able to see the man himself in the evening? Maybe they would even be able to form their old friendship again and who knew? In a year they could be already back to cuddling in the backyard.

21th of September 1999

Even though Severus mocked her tirelessly for dressing up, Hermione did so with pleasure. It was a long time ago that she had the chance to properly take care of herself and even though it was just a Weasley dinner, she decided to treat herself with a long bath and the new shirt and jeans, she had bought for herself in Diagon Alley the day before. Severus had graciously agreed to lend her some money for this little shopping trip and even though he swore that he didn't need the money back, she promised to pay him back, as soon as she was making an income on her own.

"Merlin, you've really set your mind on getting him back, haven't you?" her black haired friend said, as soon as she came down the stairs and entered the living room.

She shrugged and sent him an insecure smile. "Is it too much?" she asked and looked down at herself. "I could probably try out some less tight jeans or maybe remove the earrings?"

But Severus just snorted at her in amusement. "You look fine," he told her and rolled his eyes. "Just do yourself a favour and don't be too obvious with him. Because in the end you might even end up in bed with him, but you'll always be the one that he got too easily."

She looked at him with wide eyes and rosy cheeks. "Well, that's not the impression I want to make. Thanks for the warning."

He smirked. "Anytime. And now out with you woman. I'm looking forward to an evening in peace."

Hermione laughed and grabbed her jacket from the coatrack. A moment later she shouted her goodbye from the hallway and was gone.

From a distance, the Burrow looked very much the same to Hermione, but as she walked closer from the apparation point, the differences became more and more obvious to her. The house seemed in much better shape and Arthur's little tool shed had made room for a bigger, much more comfortable looking studio with large windows and when Hermione looked through them she thought, that the man was spending most of his time there tinkering away. The biggest change to the burrow was the large, almost professional looking quidditch pitch though, that had replaced the small home-made version in the backyard. It reminded her that Ron even more of a quidditch fanatic now than he had been before. But if that was the price she had to pay for her meddling, she would gladly accept it.

"Look who's there," she suddenly hard a well-known voice behind her, that made her stop in her tracks. But before she had the chance to turn around, two redheads already appeared at her side and looked at her with a cheeky grin.

"Mum already told us that you would be here for dinner," Fred said casually and offered her his arm. Hermione took it with a smile.

"I hope this won't get too awkward for you," George continued for his brother. "Mum told everybody what happened to you, so you needn't worry about people not knowing who you are."

"Well, that's good I guess. Now I at least won't be taken for a nutter when I mix things up." She chuckled darkly, but Fred just looked at her with a raised eyebrow before pulling her with him.

"Nobody's calling our favourite aunty a nutter," he grumbled and Hermione couldn't help but make a pained groan.

"Would you two please stop calling me that?" she complained in an unnerved tone.

"What, a nutter?" he said and gave her a cheeky grin in return.

Hermione couldn't help the chuckle escaping her mouth. "That, too."

Fred and George escorted her into the house. They only made it into the hallway, until the kitchen door flew open and Molly Weasley hurried towards them with a big smile and open arms. "Hello my dear," she said and pulled Hermione into a quick hug before she turned to her sons. "Oh, you two…" she huffed and pulled them close. Fred and George allowed it with a good-natured smile. "Did you finally come to see your old mum? Burying yourself in this shop of yours…" As soon as she started to ruffle their hair, they pulled away in protest.

"Mum!" Fred moaned and took a hasty step back. George followed him a second later.

"It's not like the products invent themselves," he explained. "It's really hard work and if we want to be able to pay next month's rent…"

Their mother huffed in irritation. "I told you to apply for a ministry job. Your brother and your father could have helped…"

"It's not for everybody, Molly," her little speech was interrupted by a voice that came from the kitchen. And when Hermione looked up, she saw Fabian casually leaning in the doorframe. She smiled at him shyly. "Those two would be wasted away in this stuffy old building. It's not what they are made for."

"They can always join Gin' and me in the quidditch pitch," a very well-known voice said behind her and a moment later Ron strolled towards his mother and pulled her in a hug. "They were quite passable beaters a few years ago and as far as I know the Derbyshire Devils are still looking for some reserves." He grinned at his brothers but Fred and George just rolled their eyes at him. That's when Ron's eyes finally fell on her.

"Ah, Miss Granger, right? I heard you really are a family friend after all," he said and offered her his hand with a wide smile. Hermione shook it awkwardly.

"Yeah, she's with us," George said and put his arm around her shoulder. "So don't try to bore her out of her mind with your quidditch talk."

Ron waved them of unconcernedly. "Yeah, she doesn't really look like a quidditch player, does she…?"

Hermione huffed in annoyance. "She is standing right next to you Ronald…" she told him with raised chin "…and, therefore, would appreciate it very much to be addressed like she was part of the conversation, thank you very much."

Fred snorted behind her in amusement. "Bit of a wildcat, are we?" he whispered over her shoulder and she couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Let it all out then. Our little brother already has a big enough head as it is."

Luckily Molly decided to usher all of them into the dining room at this very moment and so Hermione just sent the twins a dirty look before following them to the table. Most of the Weasley family was already seated and the conversation was flowing, even though the dinner hadn't even started. Arthur, Bill and Percy were already discussing the latest article in the prophet with a blonde short haired witch that must have been Bill's age on one end of the table. But as soon as Hermione entered the room with the others, their eyes shot up and the men broke out into a wide smile.

"It's Hermione Granger," Percy explained and got up from his chair to welcome her. Hermione smiled happily.

"Hello Percy," she said and took the hand he offered her enthusiastically. "It's nice to meet you." And she really meant it. Percy had been another Weasley that had suffered before Hermione had jumped back into the past and she was happy to see, that he was happy and well this time around.

That's when Arthur pulled her into a hug. "Welcome back Hermione," he said and patted her back. "I'm happy you finally came to see us. I'm sure you remember my eldest son, Bill." Hermione nodded and send the eldest Weasley a warm smile which he promptly returned. "And that's his lovely fiancé, Nymphadora Tonks."

Hermione looked at the woman with wide eyes and truly, now that she knew it was Tonks, she could see the similarity, even without the woman's bubble gum pink hair. And as the supposed wife of Remus Lupin looked at her with a wide smile, Hermione's insides turned to ice. "They're engaged you say?" she asked Arthur and the man nodded proudly. And Hermione couldn't help the silent groan that escaped her mouth at the news. This was not supposed to happen she thought and looked at the happy couple in front of her. If Tonks didn't marry Remus Lupin than Teddy Lupin would never exist. And she had the bad feeling, that this was somehow her fault.

The next several minutes Hermione experienced through some kind of fog that made it impossible for her to follow the conversation. But somehow she ended up at the other end of the table with Fred and George at her sides and Ginny and Ron across from her.

"So you say you went to Hogwarts with us," Ginny said and grinned at her, just as Hermione was aware of her surroundings again. "How was it like?"

Hermione looked at her former friend confusedly. "What do you mean?"

The youngest Weasley sibling rolled her eyes. "Well for example: Were I and Harry also a couple? Who was friends with whom? Whom did you date? That kind of stuff."

Hermione smiled at her and for the first time, she realized, that Harry had also been invited to the family dinner and sat right next to his pretty girlfriend. At least something in this timeline was like it was supposed to be. "Well, I was friends with Harry and Ron from the first year on, we were in Gryffindor together. You and Harry dated in your fifth year and then again after the war. Looks like the two of you are meant for each other." Ginny smiled happily and took her boyfriend's hand with a grin. But Harry looked at Hermione with scrutinizing eyes.

"But there was a war going on? With Voldemort, right?" To Hermione's astonishment, nobody flinched at the mentioning of the name.

"Yeah, it actually started in our first year, but it only got really bad after the Triwizard Tournament. Did they also do the tournament here?" Harry nodded with a big smile.

"But you didn't attend, right?" Hermione asked sceptically and he shook his head with a wry smile.

"Merlin, no. Can you imagine? That would have been a catastrophe. I was what, 14? No, Cedric Diggory represented our school, won the thing, too."

But before he could say something else, Ginny had already fired the next question towards Hermione.

"Enough of that. What about you, Hermione? Did you have somebody? You look like you could have had a soft spot for my brother…"

Hermione choked on her drink. "You mean Ron?" she wheezed but Ginny snorted.

"No, not him. Maybe someone a little older and more mature…" she winked at her. Hermione shook her head with a sigh but didn't answer. Instead, she looked at George and asked: "And you have a joke shop here, too?"

The man next to her grinned proudly. "Course we have one. It was mine and Freddie's dream. But I think you knew this already."

Hermione nodded happily. "That's great George. I bet the two of you are brilliant at what you do."

"Course we are," they said in unison but Ron, who was sitting across from them, snorted.

"Yeah, I'm sure WWW will be a great success, once you paid off your debt." It must have been the wrong thing to say because Hermione immediately felt Fred and George next to her stiffen.

"Well brother dear," George mumbled sourly to himself but Hermione was still able to hear. "If you'd have lent us a hand instead of throwing your money at every woman that crosses your path…" But somebody must have kicked him under the table because suddenly he grunted in pain and closed his mouth.

"We're still doing mail order in the evenings," Fred explained instead. "This way we can make some more money and pay off the debt to Gringotts. But don't worry Hermione, it's what we want to do and therefore worth every hour of overtime."

At those words, Hermione's heart swelled in pride. She had always known that the Weasley twins were hard workers. Only this time around starting their own business was much more difficult, as they didn't have Harry's money from the Triwizard Tournament. But she was sure they'd find their way anyway. "Would you mind if I came over to your shop sometime next week? I think I'd really like to see it. I loved the place the first time around, but I think I never even told you." She couldn't help the sadness that was creeping into her voice, but luckily the twins didn't seem to notice.

"You're welcome at our shop any time, Hermione. But you should probably come over around closing time. It's much quieter then and we can show you around," Fred replied with a proud grin and Hermione nodded. Yes, she would definitely visit them. And maybe they would even be able, to pick up their old friendship along the way.

The next hour of dinner was spent with comfortable small talk. Ron, Ginny and Harry mostly discussed quidditch with each other while Fred and George told her about different products from their new WWW line. Hermione found that she was enjoying herself and for the first time she could almost pretend, that she was back at home again. It was like one of the evenings that she spent at the burrow before her sixth year and she couldn't shake off the wave of nostalgia that gripped her heart at the memory of those happy times. That was until a plop of apparation right next to Ron let her cringe in alarm and pull out her wand.

"Hey Hermione, calm down, would you? It's just my elf," the redhead across from her explained with a snort of amusement. Hermione's eyes drifted from him down to the floor. And really, there was a small female house-elf with batty ears standing in front of Ron that was clad into a clean kitchen towel which was embroidered with some sort of quidditch logo.

"Master Ron, sir. I is sorry to interrupt, but there is a lady waiting in your sitting room, sir." George, who was sitting next to Hermione gave an amused snort, but Hermione ignored him as she watched the scene in front of her with growing horror. "Blinky has served Miss some tea, sir. But Blinky is not sure how long young lady is going to wait." The elf wrung its small hands nervously.

"It's alright Blinky. I'll be there in about ten minutes," Ron replied and the small creature made a deep bow, before disappearing again.

"Ronald Weasley," the voice of his mother shrieked from the other end of the table. "How often have I told you not to have this elf interrupting dinner?" she said but the redhead just grinned at her apologetically.

"Sorry mum," he mumbled with red ears, before savouring another mouth full of stew. Hermione stared at him in disbelief. "You have an elf," she said after she had finally found her voice again and the boy looked at her with a pleased smile.

"Yeah, but they are quite expensive. I had to save up quite a bit before I could afford this one. But Blinky was worth every Galleon, keeps my flat in perfect order."

At that something in Hermione snapped. "But Ron, that's slavery," she protested and looked at him in disbelieve. "Those poor creatures work day by day without ever getting a break or some sort of reward."

But the man just looked at her with confusion. "Well, it's what they want to do, Hermione. They are bred to serve, it's what makes them happy," he explained casually, before wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Well but that's because they don't know better," she protested and looked at him with pleading eyes. "But maybe if you gave Blinky a day off or some sort of payment…"

But Ron just looked at her like she had just grown a second head. He sighed. "And then what? She'll go and buy herself some ice cream? Look, it's obvious that you don't know how these things go. Maybe it is because you are muggle-born or your parents just never explained those things to you…"

But it was enough. "My parents don't even remember I exist," she shouted before she leapt from her chair. "So don't you dare make assumptions, because you clearly don't know me." With that, she stormed into the direction of the door.

"Hermione, dear. Dessert is almost ready," Molly shouted after her, but Hermione didn't even turn around.

"Thank you Molly, but I think I've just lost my appetite," she bit out, before jerking the door open and storming out. She could feel the eyes that followed her, but Hermione found, that she didn't care.