Chapter 31: Confessions

18th of June 1981

Fabian and Gideon were still confined to their beds the following day but Hermione did everything to help them chase away the boredom and repay them for the hours they had spent on her sickbed and made her feel better. She was still relieved as, at the next evening, Molly Weasley announced her visit to her brothers as it gave her the chance to get out of the house for an hour or so. Because there was one thing she very much wanted to do.

She waited for Mrs Weasley in front of the floo and after she had pointed her in the right direction, she excused herself and stepped into the fireplace herself. It was just a moment later until she stumbled into Severus' living room and the man looked at her with inquiring eyes from his sofa, where he had just been reading a book.

"What's wrong now?" he asked but Hermione walked towards him with a solemn expression.

"I want to go and check on my parents," she announced in a calm but serious voice. "And I'd like to have you by my side."

"Alright," he agreed, without uttering a single question and a moment later he had put the book aside and gotten up from the sofa. "Give me five minutes to get changed and then we'll be off."

She nodded gratefully. "Take your time. I'm already glad that you agreed to come."

Severus smiled while shaking his head. "That was out of the question. And now sit down at the sofa for a moment. I'll be right back."

Getting changed meant in Severus' case, transfiguring himself into a blond, totally plain-looking wizard and donning some navy blue robes. The transformation wasn't as good as the number Fabian had done on him, but she was pretty sure that nobody would be able to recognize him at her side. And that was all that mattered.

"Alright, hold on tight Severus. I'll apparate us," Hermione said and offered her arm. "Don't worry, I know the area like the inside of my pockets. No one will see us arriving."

Severus nodded solemnly. "I trust you, Hermione. I'll be right at your side." With that, he took her arm and Hermione whisked them away. It was still light outside when Hermione landed them in her parent's garden shed. It was rarely used in her early childhood, as her mum discovered her love for gardening only some years later. This early in their lives her parents were just about to build up their own dental practice and had all their hands full with their little overexcited daughter. And so Hermione could be sure, that they'd be able to arrive undetected.

"Alright," she said and peeked through the tiny dirty window into the garden. Her parents were already inside and by the look of it, all members of the family were assembled in the kitchen. "Are you any good with disillusionment charms?" she asked and looked at Severus nervously.

"Good enough," her friend answered and a wave of his wand later he disappeared before her eyes and only a slight flickering in the air showed, that he was still in front of her. She nodded with a smile.

"That's definitely good enough. Could you cast the charm on me, too, please? I never had the chance to learn it myself, but if I survive this war…"

"Let's not talk about this right now," he said gently and a muttered spell later, she could feel the coldness of the charm wash over her.

"Brilliant, thank you Severus. Now come. They should be all in the kitchen. Maybe we can peek through the windows. I'd rather avoid going inside."

Her friend grunted something in response and a moment later Hermione saw the door to the shed open. She hadn't even heard him moving but as her friend seemed to be full of surprises, she just shrugged and followed him as silently as possible. Her parent's kitchen was luckily at the ground floor of the building and two of its windows pointed back into the garden. The two of them sneaked into position with ease and it wasn't long until Hermione peaked into the cosy room with wooden cabinets and a red fridge in the corner. Her parents were already sitting at the table and at first Hermione wasn't able to spot herself, but as she searched the room with growing panic, her younger self suddenly appeared on the little high chair at the kitchen table. She blinked and a sinking feeling settled into her stomach.

"Can you see my younger self? She's sitting on the green high chair," she asked Severus with her heart beating heavily in her chest.

"Yeah, she's hard to miss with this mop of curls," he commented dryly and even if she wasn't able to see his face, she could have sworn that a crooked smile graced his lips.

Hermione sighed in relief. "That's good because I can barely see her any longer." And it was true, as the bushy-haired toddler had just disappeared before her eyes again. But her parents acted like nothing was wrong at all. Hermione watched the scene with growing misery. Little Hermione would always reappear after a few minutes but would be gone again not even a minute later. It definitely hadn't been like that the last time she had seen her, so whatever Hermione had done in the last weeks, had made her condition worse.

"Alright, let's go," she said after they had stood silently at the windows for a while and without waiting for Severus' answer, she took Severus' hand and apparated them back into his home. There she collapsed on the floor and stared at the dirty wooden floorboards, while she tried to get her feelings back under control. She only registered Severus' "Finite incantatem" as the feeling of the spell washed over her body again. And a moment later her shaking hands reappeared before her on the floor.

"Hermione?" Severus asked her with obvious worry in his voice. "What's wrong?"

He took a deep calming breath before she forced herself to look up to him. "She is disappearing Severus," she said and looked at him with wide eyes. "I know it doesn't seem to make sense, as obviously no one but me can even see it, but I think I am slowly erasing myself from the timeline."

Severus stared at her mutely but his dark eyes were looking seriously at her. And so Hermione continued.

"The last time I saw her, she was only gone for short periods of time. But today… she was mostly gone already. I don't know why it doesn't affect this body, but I am pretty sure it will be only a matter of time."

He kneeled down in front of her on the floor and slowly put his hand over hers. "Maybe it's just visible for you because it is meant as some kind of warning. All the rest of us can still see her, which means that little Hermione is still here. It's possible, that you and her will disappear at the same time."

She swallowed heavily and felt the tears that rose in her eyes. "That kind of makes sense. I don't know how much longer I have, Severus. How much more can I change, before I disappear altogether? I don't think there's missing much…"

He looked at her with his eyes full of sadness. "But you'll do it anyway? You are going through with this?"

Hermione felt her throat tighten with unshed tears. "I have to. I need to finish this, finish him. There are too many lives depending on this."

Severus nodded before she pulled her into a hug. "Alright. I'll help you. Whatever it takes, we will finish this."

Hermione rest her head against his shoulder, as the first tears started running down her cheeks. "Whatever it takes. Just … please don't forget me, after all is done. I know it might not be possible, as I might have simply never existed, but…"

He shushed her with a finger on her lips. "I will never forget you Hermione Granger. I am an Occlumens and I will hide all my memories of you behind the highest walls and the safest doors in my brain. Don't worry. Even if nobody will remember you, I'm sure that I will."

She nodded against his shoulder. "That's all I ask for. Thank you Severus." And she meant it.

4th of October 1999

Two days and some more regained memories later, Hermione was more confused than ever. It was obvious, that she had been erasing herself in the past. But that meant that she really shouldn't be here at all. So why was she? Little Hermione should no longer exist in this timeline - the girl would have been her age by now - so why was she? Hermione had studied some books on time travel during the last weeks. The topic was simply irresistible for her at the moment and so she studied everything she could get her fingers on. There was a documented number of time travellers before her, that had erased themselves from the timeline, but all of them had completely disappeared and not simply come back 18 years later. So why did she? Hermione was not sure if there was even a way for her to find out what had happened to her, because as far as she knew, her case was unique. It was a good thing of course, as it meant that she was still alive, but it was also frustrating beyond measure.

Fred and George didn't leave her much time to dwell on it though, as they almost visited or invited her every evening. Spending time with her new favourite Weasleys was always exciting as the two of them never seemed to stand still. They always had a story to tell or a memory to show her and more often than not they would drag her out into a cinema or for some muggle sports activity. Hermione was thankful for every bit of distraction they offered. Today they had invited her into their flat and Hermione was looking forward to an evening with a bit less excitement, but she should have guessed, that it wasn't meant to be.

"Hullo Mione," Fred greeted her with a wide smile and a strange glint in his eyes. "George made dinner for us and it's quite eatable if I say so myself." He winked at her, before kissing her on the cheek. Hermione's face reddened. Since she had shown the two of them her memories, these small shows of affection from them were something, they did regularly. Hermione had slowly gotten used to expecting them and didn't stiffen any longer when it happened, but the blush on her cheeks still returned time and time again. Fred and George never commented on it though, but Hermione was sure they must have seen it.

Fred took her by the hand and led her into the kitchen, where the twins had set up the small table with a variety of food, wine and even a candle in the middle. She looked at the setting in puzzlement.

"Is there something to celebrate?" she asked and she saw, that immediately both twins looked at her with wide eyes.

"Not exactly," George said and strolled over from the kitchen counters. He still wore a green apron with little brooms printed all over it and looked at her with almost something like nervousness. "Fred and I wanted to talk to you though and we figured we might as well do it in a nice setting. Sit down."

He motioned to the table and Hermione sat down on the chair that Fred was holding for her. She couldn't help her reddening cheeks, as he cast her a charming smile while doing so. It wasn't long until they were all seated and Hermione realized that both twins had chosen a chair at the opposite side of the table. They looked at her with something like nervous anticipation and Hermione couldn't help but ask herself, what they would want to discuss with her.

"Alright boys, what's wrong?" she asked and looked at them with an encouraging smile. "This is all very lovely but I can't help but think that you've done something and are trying to apologize."

They looked at her with wide eyes, before they snorted in unison. "That's what you think? Merlin, our other selves must have left quite an impression with you."

Hermione chuckled. "Oh, they definitely left an impression. But by your reaction, I conclude that it's not a prank gone wrong or something like that."

They shook their heads with a chuckle. "No, nothing like that. In fact…" Fred started before his brother took over. "we wanted to ask you if you would do us the honour…"

"…of being our girlfriend." They concluded together and stared at her with wide eyes. Hermione blinked and for a moment she just stared at them. Then she swallowed and stared some more.

"Uh, Hermione?" George asked after a short while and looked at her uncertainly. "It's alright, when you need to think about it first or…" But she shook her head with a sigh.

"No, sorry. You just startled me, it's fine." She smiled and looked at them with blushing cheeks. "This is just a bit unexpected, that is all."

They nodded and looked at her expectantly and for a moment Hermione allowed herself to imagine, how it would be having these charming young men as her boyfriends. Fred and George Weasley had always been incredibly fit and handsome and at Hogwarts, both of them had been very popular. In her old life, both of them had been far out of reach for the bushy-haired bookworm and she was pretty sure, they hadn't even once looked at her with this kind of interest. But now she could have them. They wanted her as a girlfriend and for a moment Hermione could almost see it. Fred and George were brilliant and creative and they were hard workers, too. Maybe in another life, they could have been good together, but the longer she thought about the idea, the more she realized, that it wasn't them she wanted. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"I am really flattered by your offer boys but I must be honest with you, I can't." She looked at them with eyes full of regret. "I'm sorry and I hope this doesn't hurt you too badly, because that's the last thing I want."

They looked at her in resignation.

"Is it Ron?" George asked her and looked at her with sad brown eyes. "Because if he's the reason Hermione, we could wait for you. We know it hasn't been long and we still barely know each other…"

She sighed, before she gently reached over the table and took a hand from each of them into hers. "It's not Ron," she said and looked at them with a sad smile. "But there is somebody else, yeah. I didn't realize it until recently and just now, when you told me how you feel, I knew, that these feelings aren't going to go away anytime soon."

They smiled at her kindly. "We understand, Hermione. We figured that we might not stand a chance against them, but…"

Hermione looked at them with wide eyes. "You… you know? How long?"

George and Fred looked at her with a chuckle. "We didn't know, but we suspected there might be something between the three of you since Friday," Fred started and pressed her hand.

George nodded. "But we weren't sure and we figured, we had to try and ask you ourselves. Because quite frankly, you're amazing Hermione. You're the only person that simply sees us, all of us. You always understand us, encourage us no matter what the other's think about our ideas. It's like you simply get us and after everything you did for us… Merlin Hermione, you're the bravest person I know and you're clever," he continued and looked at her with shining eyes. Hermione felt herself blush again. She definitely wasn't used to be complimented like this. "And we figured that if there is a witch for us, then it is you."

Fred nodded, but he looked at her with a kind smile. "But don't worry Hermione. We can accept a 'no' from you without making a big fuss. I have to admit it hurts a bit, but we'll be alright." George nodded with a brave smile and for a moment Hermione's heart broke for them.

"Will you really? Because I would hate to lose you over this, when I just got you back," she admitted and looked at them anxiously. Fred and George looked at her for a short moment, before they got up from their chairs and went to her side. There they kneeled down in front of her and looked at her with warm, brown eyes.

"We will always be your friends, Hermione," George assured her and took her hands into his.

His brother smiled. "You won't get rid of us that easily. You'll have to try harder for that."

Hermione's heart melted at their words and she wished that there was something, she could do to make them feel better. She didn't want the day to end on such a sad note and with a disappointment for them, because no matter what she felt for Fabian and Gideon, those two were still very important to her. But then she suddenly was struck with an idea and she smiled.

"I'm definitely not trying to get rid of you, quite the contrary actually. If you're up for it, I'd like to make you an offer."

They looked at her with wide, curious eyes. "Alright?"

Hermione chuckled. "How do you feel about taking on a business partner?"