Chapter 5

We cut back to Crash Site Bravo where Grif is walking around a few hours later after a fight against a pissed off Tex. He walks along the grass as everyone else is busy. He has his crotch healed up after getting punch down there and is walking normally. However, he does come across a few people along the way.

Andersmith: "Captain Grif."

Grif: "Hey."

Matthews: "Hey, Captain Grif!"

Grif: "Leave me alone, Matthews."

Jensen: "Captain Grif."

Grif: "Yo."

Bitters: "Sup."

Grif: "Sup."

Palomo: *excited* "Hey captain!"

Grif: "Fuck off."

Matthews: "Oh. Oh! Captain Grif!"

Grif: *sighs* "The fuck do you want Matthews."

Matthews, Grif's old subordinate but a kiss-ass that he doesn't want to spend time with because he reminds him of Simmons sucking it up to Sarge.

"I was, uh, um... How are you feeling?" Matthews ask.

"I've been better." Grif is still upset about getting his ass handed to him as well as having his balls punched again.

"That's good to here. Shame about the wine bar."

Grif then starts to look down, "Yeah no kidding. I was starting to like that place."

"You and everyone else."

Grif then looks back at Matthews. "Is there a reason why you're bothering me?"

"Oh right! It just that I heard a rumor that the Red & Blues are being shipped off to a new location."

Grif then starts to pause for a moment before speaking. "...Wait, what?"

"Yeah, you guys are being station to the Northern Gate."

Grif starts to look down and sighs, "Do you know where Donut is?"

"In the usual place with Captain Cream and Sub-Commander Leslie."

Grif sighs again and says, "Thanks." in a depressing voice before walking pass Matthews left side.

"Can I come with you, sir!" Matthews shouts at Grif.

"SHUT UP!" Grif responded with a nasty and angry yell.

Grif made his way towards a ship with half a hull missing as he hears music coming from the inside. He hears It's Raining Men coming from the ship with some pink lights flashing through the inside. Above the so called front door is a painted sign that says The Gentlemen's Club over it.

Grif gives a disgruntle sign and says, "I hate this place." Then he starts being happy, "Well, at least being shipped off wouldn't be bad. I won't have to come down here all the time to get Donut."

Then Grif went inside and he sees Donut dancing along with Captain Cream, Sub-Commander Leslie and some members of Pink Squad. Pink Squad are some European guys that wear Scout helmets and different kinds of shoulder armor. Leslie is an Elite dressed in pink armor and Captain Cream is in white armor security armor. The place is decorated with pink and red hearts along with men symbols which makes Grif want to throw-up.

AN: Sub-Commander Leslie is from Lost: Halo Style, Captain Cream is from Peaches N' Cream, and Pink Squad is from Spriggs.

"God, I'm going to hell just by being here." Grif mutters to himself.

Donut stops dancing as he noticed Grif at the door. "Oh heeeeyy Grif!" he says with an excited attitude. "What brings you here?"

Grif then approaches Donut and speaks, "Donut, I got some news."

Captain Cream approaches, "Are you finally coming out of the closet?" he speaks in a homosexual voice.

"FUCK NO!" Grif shouts in anger, "EVERY TIME I TRY TO GET DONUT YOU KEEP ASKING ME THAT! WOULD YOU STOP IT!"

"Okay, but it is only a matter of time."

Grif then says to himself as he turn his head away, "I REALLY hate this place." Then turns his head back at the two, "No, it is just that -"

Then Leslie stops and approaches Grif, "Are you here for my cinnamon buns? Everyone loves them."

Grif has no idea how to respond to that. Is he referring to actual cinnamon buns or something else. But ignores and just says, "Actually, we're being shipped off to the Northern Gate."

"Seriously?" Donut responds, "But we're about to take a bubble bath."

Cream then says, "Yeah, a gang bath."

Then Leslie says, "Are you still with Simmons? Because Donut told us about-"

Grif then cuts off Leslie, "Wait, Donut told you what happened on Chorus?"

"Why yes, I have to admit I was surprise to hear it."

Grif looks at Donut with an awkward pause for a moment. He drops his gun, lunges at Donut, and beats the living hell out of him.

"Ow!" BASH! "Ow!" BASH! "Ow!" BASH "Not the face!"

Leslie and Cream grab Grif's arms and yank him away.

Donut then gets back up, "Ow! What is wrong with you?!"

Grif then breaks his arms free, "What is wrong!?" He says with great temper, "What's wrong is that we are stuck here in a middle of nowhere! There is no soda! We're stuck here after we stop those fuckers from doing a time warp apocalypse or some shit! We're all out of lemon pound cake & apple turnover MREs! AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE, THE PINK LOSER HERE TOLD EVERYONE ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPEN AFTER THE SHIT WE DID WHEN ACTIVATING THE TEMPLE OF PROCREATION! SO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG YOU ASK?! EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN SHIT THAT I JUST MENTIONED IN THIS STUPID GAY BAR! TO MAKE THINGS EVEN WORSE IS THAT DONUT HERE KEEPS TURNING HIS RADIO OFF WHILE I HAVE TO COME HERE AND DRAG HIM OUT!"

Donut then ask, "Well it could be worse." he says will trying to remain calm.

"JUST HOW THE FUCK COULD IT BE WORSE!?"

BOOM!

A huge explosion is heard from the top of the broken down ship with smoke coming out.

Grif looks down and says in a more calm yet depressing tone, "Please tell me that isn't who I think it is."

"TUCKER DID IT!" says Caboose yelling.

Grif sighs. "Let's see what the damage is."

Grif and Donut went up the upper parts of the ship as they follow the smoke.

Grif then says, "Caboose, what the fuck are you-" He stops as he and Donut were walking down the corridor as they see something unexpected.

What they see are Halo: Reach versions of them along with a few more duplicates.

"Greetings fellow Reds!" says a female Sarge with a militant attitude. "Come on, let's get decorating and get this place up to standards."

Then a female Donut says, "Who cares about decorating. I just want to get on my hands and knees and rip out all the carpets."

"Me too." says both the regular Donut and the duplicate Donut in unison.

Grif is feeling really weird and goes, "Fuck it, I'm out of here." He turns around and walks out.

Then the real Donut looks at the real Caboose, "How did you manage to do this?"

"Oh," he then turn his attention towards a certain purple device on the floor, "I just found Epsilon's old shell here and see if I can make more friends with it."

Donut tries to make sense but just roll with it. "Oh...okay."

Meanwhile, on another part of the valley, Caroline is sitting in the Med-Bay next to Tex with Alpha's monitor body on a makeshift table of metal and rocks. Tex is lying on the bed, hasn't moved at all in some sort of Med-Bay of another ship with a few bits of rubble around. Carolina is just sitting down until Washington comes in.

"How is everything?" Washington asked as he comes in through the doorway.

Carolina looked up at Washington. "Nothing yet. They're still in there."

Washington then approaches the unconscious Tex. "It's been hours."

"I know."

"I know that Tex is hard-case but damn." But then looks at Carolina, "Haven't you heard the news?"

"About us being shipped out to the Northern Gate?"

"Yeah, that one."

"But why?"

"Don't know. The only thing that is up there is a big ass fucking desert."

During the conversation, a light blue light flicker next to Carolina with a very familiar voice that goes, "What's up?"

"Church?" Carolina responded in surprise. "What happened in there?"

"Yeah, things are always little difficult when dealing with Tex."

Then the monitor starts to spark back to life with a deadpan voice, "Yeah. No kidding."

Washington then looks back and forth between the two Church's and goes, "So do we just all one of you Church? Do we call the one in-"

Alpha/Church then looks at Washington, "Just call me Alpha when Epsilon and I are together. If we're separate, you can call us Church. Got it?"

"I think so." Washington says in agreement. "It is actually a lot easier...I think."

Alpha then turns to Tex, "Okay, you can get up now."

Tex just jolted up right as Carolina gets ready to fight while Wash tries to hide.

Epsilon then appears in front of Carolina, "It's okay!" he shouted. Trying to prevent a fight. "Tex is alright. She's just getting up." Then he appears next to Carolina as Carolina tries to relax.

Washington then leans his head out from behind a chair, "Are you sure? Because she isn't known for being nice."

Tex then gets off the bed and says in a sarcastic tone, "Yeah, I'm a real people person." Then she starts to look at her surroundings and notice something is off. She then looks at the other two freelancers, "Where the hell am I?"

Carolina responds, "We have no idea."

Then Tex notices the implant on her arm. She shows it, "Any idea what this is?"

Washington then responds, "Something called a specimen implant. Everyone has one of these." Wash then shows his implant. Carolina does the same.

"Except for robots and A.I.'s" Epsilon then interjects. "But the humanoid robots have them such as Lopez and others."

"That also includes me."

Then both Alpha and Epsilon say, "Correct." at the same time.

Then Tex groans and looks down, "God, it's like listening to idiots on stereo."

"Hey!" both A.I.'s say at the same time. Completely insulted by Tex's comment while a figure wearing Air Assault armor in the colors of tan with some blue along with having ODST torso, Pathfinder right shoulder and Orbital left shoulder armor pieces.

"Seems you guys are getting along."

Wash then stands in attention, "General on deck!"

"Easy there, Wash." General Kimball says to Washington.

"Who's she?" Alpha asked Carolina along with Tex looking at her as well with the same question in her mind.

"That is General Vanessa Kimball." Carolina responds. "She used to be the general of the New Republic of Chorus then became president. But since we arrived, she is back down to general."

Alpha then looks at Kimball, "I see."

"How is our new edition?" Kimball asked.

Tex looks at Kimball, "I'm doing fine."

"Good. By the way," Kimball then looks at Washington, "Caboose found Epsilon's old unit and did something with it."

Washington then starts to sound annoyed, "What did he do now?" He starts to look down.

"You tell me!" says another female voice coming in.

Who came in is someone who looks like Church wearing armor from Halo: Reach, but something is different about it.

"Guess who I am you fucking dick!" she says with anger.

"The fuck?" Alpha responds.

"Who the- Oh, yeah..." Epsilon didn't recognize her at first then remembers. "Fuck."

Everyone turns their attention towards Epsilon with Alpha asking, "You know her?"

Then Epsilon turn to face Alpha, "She is the female version of me, us."

"Damn straight!" says the piss-off female version of Church. "You did this to me dick bag, now change me back!"

Then Epsilon turns to face his female self, "But I don't know how! As a matter of fact, how the FUCK did Caboose get you out of my old storage unit?!"

"Well it's Caboose! Like hell I would know how!"

"Look, I can't help you out since you're out of my old storage unit. So just calm down-"

"How can I calm down when I have not one, but TWO Tuckers trying to hit on me!"

"I don- Wait, two Tuckers?"

"Yeah, everyone from the fucking storage unit is out! Even female versions of the Reds!"

There is a long and awkward pause until Alpha started to chuckle and looks back at Epsilon. "Wait, you misremembered the Reds' genders?"

Epsilon then turns back to Alpha and yells, "I don't know how it happened! Then I started to misremembered my own gender which-" then turns back to face female Church, "-is result of this!"

"You know what, FUCK YOU!" Then the female Church stomps out of the Med-Bay still angry, "I'm going to find someone who can fix this!"

Then Epsilon looks down and groans before saying, "How the fuck can things get worse?"

Tex started to fall down backwards and started laughing out loud.

Alpha then says as he watches Tex laughing, "You know what, this is the loudest I have ever heard Tex laugh...ever."

/: Situation: Normal

Monitoring Levels: Normal

Everything is progressing on schedule

Good to hear.

/:Initiate Kharaa Disease?

No. At least not yet anyway. Terminal User #309 will remotely activate it when given orders from ADMIN. Agree?

/: Affirmative. Kharaa Disease on standby.

AN: Alright, Chapter 4 is up! I hope you guys like it. I know it is early, but I have a lot of other things to get done tomorrow and Friday because of work. So here you guys go. Now for the questions:

Guest #1: Well, let's just say things are gonna get interesting soon.

Guest #2: Considering there is like a thousand zombie related open-world survival games, the answer is yes! But won't come out until later.

If you guys have any other questions, let me know in the reviews and I will do my best to answer them. Until next week! Later!