Luke lay in Noah's arms, his one eye obscured by the unruliness of his bangs, his chest rising and falling as he slept. Faint tear-marks still glistened on his cheeks.
Luke had wept. He had pressed his face into the curve of Noah's shoulder and wept; his whole body quaking.
Noah told himself that Luke wept because his emotions were so much closer to the surface than regular people. But what Noah didn't expect to happen were the emotions he felt within himself...
Protective. Passionate. And stirred into action by Luke's tears. He had pulled Luke close as the man cried, soothed him with his body until somehow he was inside Luke again - and this time everything was so much slower. It was as if time had altered to fit the rhythm of their bodies and he was giving Luke exactly what Luke needed.
Sex was something Noah understood. Physical pleasure had always just been one of those things like water and food and sunlight.
He wasn't sure he understood any of this. Any of what had happened between them in bed.
It was nearing dawn. The first fingers of light had come creeping through the windows; throwing pale shadows over the covers. Day was approaching and he didn't want it to come.
How he begged for time to stand still.
Watching Luke sleep, Noah felt almost as if he'd captured some wild, mystical animal. Luke was so delicate in a lot of ways, needing to be handled with some amount of care. That in itself should have been sending warning bells off in his head, he thought with a smile, even as he stroked the soft hairs on the skin of Luke's bent arm.
His smile faded. Only hours ago he'd told himself this was merely the satisfying of an appetite for sex. He'd reasonably assumed his interest in Luke was powered by his sexual attraction to him, as it had been with dozens of other men over the years.
But something else, something much stronger, was at play here.
Even now he wanted to mark Luke so that other men would know Luke was his and wouldn't dare attempt to lay claim to him.
What am I doing here?
He didn't know, apart from the obvious, which at that moment was pressed against Luke's hip and demanding his attention.
It would be too easy to stroke Luke's body awake and bury himself deep inside him again, allow mindless pleasure to provide answers. But they had been doing that all night, and his own stamina in itself had been a surprise. He'd never doubted his sexual prowess, but that night had been... rare.
Just like Luke...
Noah touched the cluster of curls falling over Luke's forehead, hooking the silky weight behind his ear. A sleepy Luke smiled, slowly opening his eyes. He lay there just looking at Noah and Noah was happy to let Luke look. Luke's smile faded a little as they connected eyes.
Luke reached up to run his index finger down the sweep of Noah's jaw as if, like Noah, he was a little baffled by what had happened.
"It's not morning yet, is it?"
"Not yet," Noah's voice was rougher than usual, stripped back and raw. He needed coffee to lubricate it.
But for the moment, he just wanted to look at Luke.
Luke's tilted eyes were sleepy soft, his lips swollen from their kisses. The blonde slowly sat up, dislodging Noah's heavy arm, which Noah lifted out of the way, a little surprised. But Luke was pushing back the covers, uncovering them both, still smiling, his eyes twinkling at Noah.
"Good," Luke said.
Then slowly, Luke began to lead a silky trail of fiery little kisses down the center of Noah's chest, over his abdomen and lower, until Noah was gripping the sheet and forgetting everything but this.
...
Luke examined himself in the bathroom mirror. He'd done his best with Noah's comb, warm water and a fresh toothbrush he found in the medicine cabinet. Luke hesitated. He looked somewhat different. He had... a glow? Soft pink color in his cheeks, a gleam in his eyes. With a bit of wonder, Luke touched his lips. He looked like a man, who'd just had a good time.
Smiling softly to himself, he dropped his gaze. He was wearing a pair of Noah's slacks and a pale green T-shirt. It felt wonderful.
Luke met his own gaze once more, a little less confidently. This was a first for him, to just to go off with a man and spend the night with him outside of a relationship. He knew Noah probably thought, given the chaos going on around Luke, that spending the night with men was hardly a first for Luke. But it was.
Luke was careful in his romantic life to an almost fanatical degree. Men had to jump through endless hoops before they even caught a glimpse of Luke's bed. With a father like Damian Grimaldi, Luke had witnessed way too much bed-hopping to risk any of that in his own life.
He steadied his gait. He didn't have to worry. Even if he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, he didn't regret it.
The tears, yes. He wished he hadn't cried. He didn't really understand why he did. But he had; and it couldn't be taken back.
He emerged from the bathroom to find Noah on the balcony, talking on his phone. He was taken aback by the sight of Noah in an Italian suit that lay close to the fit of his body. As the wind lightly ruffled his hair, Noah looked every inch the powerful and successful director gone corporate in contrast to Luke, with damp hair and wearing Noah's casual castoffs.
Sighing, Luke joined Noah. His desire to slide his arms under that expensive crease-free jacket, to encircle Noah's hard torso and enjoy the closeness of the moment, was held in check. After all, Luke was old enough and wise enough in the ways of the world to realize they hadn't really done any talking of consequence. Luke didn't actually have a clue where he stood with Noah.
Luke had gone into the night telling himself he had his eyes wide open. Except this morning, that confidence was curled with a lot of fuzzy emotions Luke struggled to sort out.
So he settled for pressing his lips to Noah's freshly-shaven jaw. Noah smiled yet didn't miss a beat in his phone conversation.
When he finally did hang up it was to say, "Ready? I'll run you home."
Luke felt a cold trickle of disappointment run through his veins. It was perfectly reasonable that Noah would be keen to get a move on this morning. It was after eight o'clock. He probably had a busy working day ahead - hence the phone call. Luke himself had to be at the riding center at 10.
They were both adults, after were lives to get on with...
"Yes," he replied, injecting a breeziness into his voice he wasn't actually feeling. Still, it wasn't difficult to do, he did it all the time in social situations. "Can I drive?"
Noah pocketed his cell, gave him a wink. "No."
It wasn't until they were pulling out of the garage that Luke fully appreciated he had made a mistake. On their trip over from Noah's production office the night before, Luke had been the center of Noah's attention. If a multi-car pileup had occurred ahead of them, Noah would simply have hung a left and driven on, intent only on their mutual destination.
This morning, Noah appeared to be exactly what he was - a busy man with a schedule and not a lot of downtime. Preoccupied, a little tense, blocking Luke out. Luke was very clearly being driven home. This was it.
Stop being so stupid!
Neither of them had made any promises, and Luke wasn't really in any condition to be opening up his life to anybody at that moment.
They were driving up the entrance ramp to the Pacific Coast Highway, when Noah casually said,"I've got meetings today and tomorrow. In fact, I'll be held up for the next few days." He glanced over at Luke. "How about I call you next week? We can... we can spend some time together...then."
Light exploded behind Luke's eyes. It was one thing to tell himself this was the way of the world. It was quite another to hear Noah speaking so lightly about the intimacy they had shared...
Spend some time together? What the fuck?
For a moment he was at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say?
I thought I could handle one night, but I was wrong. Last night overwhelmed me. I'm feeling emotions I know have no place between us and now you're telling me you'll call me... It's not enough.
His mouth suddenly felt dry, his throat tight.
"I know it's not ideal," Noah was saying. "After last night and all, but..."
Not ideal?
Nothing about the situation was ideal as far as Luke was concerned.
Noah looked over at him. "I've got a lot going on, Luke. I didn't expect this," he said gesturing with his finger between the two of them.
Noah sounded annoyed, but also faintly amused. Memories of Noah kissing him so slowly and thoroughly, as if the pleasure of it was all he'd wanted in that moment, assailed Luke mercilessly. He found himself running the tip of his tongue along the rim of his bottom lip.
Noah restlessly shifted beside him.
Why had Luke thought he could do this and not get hurt?
"Or you could call me." His voice was almost gruff and Luke glanced over.
No, he couldn't call Noah! How could Noah possibly think he'd call him?
"Will I?" Luke dryly asked.
Noah looked at him sharply. "What's the problem?"
"Nothing." His voice squeaked like the rusty gate to the north pasture back on Snyder Farm. "What could possibly be the problem?"
Noah had the audacity to glance at the expensive rock of a wristwatch on his left forearm. "Okay," he said slowly, like a man navigating a rocky edge, parts of which kept breaking away. "I'll call you."
"You do that." Luke stared expressionless out of the window, a thousand angry words jostling for some sort of order on his tongue.
"OK...What am I missing here?" Noah asked.
Asshole! What do you think?
Luke had heard these sentiments before - from the mouths of the women Damian disappointed and flung out like trash.
Luke had always avoided one night stands for this very reason! But he was determined not to make a fool of himself by behaving like those women did - displaying messy emotions now.
No, he was Luke Snyder!
He lifted his chin. It had happened. Best to move on. He wasn't going to create a scene. From the tense silence emanating from Noah, he was clearly expecting one.
Noah barely had the Porsche at a standstill outside Luke's house, when Luke was fumbling for the door. He swore, knowing that if he didn't get out of there fast he was going to embarrass himself. The door gave and he shot out.
"Luke." Noah's voice was prepared - the voice Luke imagined Noah used on set with his actors and crew, not a tone you used with a guy you'd hold in your arms and made love to mere hours ago.
Made love? It had been sex. What else could it be? They didn't know each another. Luke was a fool for expecting anything else...
Luke paused, his hand still on the door.
"Do you want me to come in with you?" Noah actually sounded concerned.
Luke shook his head in disbelief. "What's the point?"
He slammed the car door, and then wished he hadn't as he strode as fast as he could to the front door. Anger blurred his vision, so he tried the key a few times before he noticed the giant padlock secured to the front door.
What the fuck?
He gave it a tug. He seized hold of it with both hands and rattled it. He banged his palms against the door and then let them slide down and lowered his head.
It had finally happened.
Almost as an afterthought he noticed the large envelope wedged beneath the door. He knelt down; picked it up; and tore it open. He slowly read the enclosed documents, the words like sticky toffee in his head.
Is this even legal?
The fact he didn't know was all the more damning. He should have known. He should have researched these possibilities. He should have been aware.
Instead he'd spent the past months doing nothing! Running around, blocking out reality, not making himself available to the people who could have helped him. His solicitor, his accountant, his grandmother...his friends. And where had he been yesterday when all this was happening?
Pursuing a man.
Sleeping with a man who couldn't give a damn about you!
Luke found himself trembling. No, he could deal with this on his own. He just needed to think logically.
Dad.
Fumbling in his pocket he dug out his cell. The cell he'd been ignoring for days. Sure enough there were several missed calls from Maddie and a message from Holden - he'd rescued the cat.
Dialing he got Holden's voice mail.
He dropped his hand and sank down onto the porch floor, his back pressed up against the door now bolted to him.
The worst had finally happened, and it was his own fault for delaying cleaning up his father's mess of things, preferring instead to take the procrastination route.
This was seriously rock-bottom.
That's when he heard the crunch of gravel, the tread of footsteps and slowly looked up.
Noah.
Could he just once have a personal disaster and not have this man witness it?
Yet something instinctive leapt in his body the moment he saw the concerned brunette looking down at him.
"Luke?"
Luke clambered ungracefully to his feet, brushing off the garden dirt.
"What's going on here?" Noah gestured toward the door.
"Nothing." Luke walked toward Noah, trying to divert his attention away from the door.
Those blue eyes narrowed on him. "Clearly. Look, I'm not one for playing games."
"Fine," Luke said, his voice high and airless. "No more games. We had our fun. Now, I need you to go."
Noah was frowning at him, and for a moment something about his anger penetrated the fog that seemed to have dropped around Luke. Noah was pounding out big, frustrated male and apparently Luke was the cause.
Gesturing at the drive, Luke repeated, "Please leave."
"No. Why are you shaking?" Noah put his hand on Luke's upper arm, his fingers closing firmly, as if he knew Luke would try to pull away.
"I'm not. I-" But it was too late. He was shivering so hard, he thought he'd fall down. Without saying a word, Noah pulled him into his arms and Luke was enveloped by all that strength and the lovely, familiar scent of him.
This is why... This is why I'm a little crazy for you...
"What in the hell?" At that point, Luke knew Noah had spotted the padlock. The man went still against him. His voice was very low and resonant when he spoke. "What's going on, Luke?"
When Luke refused to answer, Noah released him and strode over to the doors, gave them a rattle. That's when he spotted the raised lettering on the padlock - Property of The Los Angels County Sheriff's Department.
"I've been locked out," Luke said redundantly. "The bank has foreclosed on the mortgage. I believe it happens if you don't make the monthly payments."
Noah was silent. His hands rested on his lean hips as he regarded Luke. Luke made himself meet Noah's eyes. He wasn't going to be ashamed. He wasn't!
"A mortgage? I thought you inherited this house from your father?"
"I've had some debts," Luke said, defensively lifting his chin. "I had to raise the money somehow."
He saw the moment Noah noticed the envelope resting on the window sill; and before he could stop him, Noah had opened it. Luke's stomach plummeted. Noah didn't say a word, just started scanning the documents. Luke turned away, facing out to the sea view he had come to know so well.
"You haven't paid the mortgage for more than six months," Noah said flatly.
"No."
There was a long pause. "Do you have somewhere to go?"
Luke pulled himself together. "Ah, yes - of course."
He turned around and his insides trembled.
Why did Noah make him feel like this? He hadn't wanted to get involved with anyone. Once you let another person in, you were vulnerable; and he couldn't afford to let his defenses down.
He looked into Noah's eyes and saw his frustration and disbelief. Luke knew it was better to let Noah go. His chest began to hurt.
Noah strode suddenly toward Luke. "Get in the car."
"Sorry? Why? What for?"
Noah gave him an exasperated look and kept walking. Luke hesitated, but only for a moment because he didn't know what else to do. He followed Noah over to the car.
"You don't have to do this," he said stiffly.
"Get in," Noah answered.
Luke slid into the passenger seat, shakily sliding the seat belt into the lock.. Noah still had hold of the envelope. He was standing at the front of the car, making a call on his cell.
He looked tense. Luke couldn't blame him. This wasn't his problem.
Minutes later, Noah jumped in beside Luke.
"If you can drop me in town-" Luke began.
"Yeah, I suppose I could." Noah gave Luke a hard look, gunning the engine. "Tell me, Luke, does all the drama ever get old for you?"
This was not the time to lose his composure, but the line between keeping it together and completely unraveling frayed at that.
"I don't know, Noah," he flashed back, wanting to punch the man. "How about you? Do one-night stands ever get old for you?"
Luke knew it was unfair. He'd gone into the night with Noah eyes open. Except now he was hurting and his pride was currently being stomped all over.
Noah jammed on the brakes and shifted around to face his passenger. For a moment, Luke wasn't sure whether Noah would start another lecture or punch him. He pressed his back against the seat.
"Right..." Noah said slowly.
"Right, what?"
Luke wanted to ask Noah what he thought he was doing, when the director suddenly threw the Porsche into First and he was flung back in his seat as Noah tore down the drive, sending stones and dust flying.
At the highway, he swung right.
"This isn't the way into town." Luke pointed out.
"No, this is the way to LAX." Noah replied.
"Why are we going to the airport?"
"Luke, those meetings I told you about aren't going to happen without me. I've got a flight to make, and as of..." he glanced down at his Rolex, "... half an hour ago, the plane is fueled and waiting on the tarmac."
For a moment Luke actually thought Noah was saying he was going to dump Luke at the airport... until his brain caught up with his emotions. "You're taking me with you?"
"Got it in one."
"But I can't just leave. I've got to do something about this." He shook the envelope.
"It's pretty clear you haven't been doing anything about it for a long time," Noah observed while punching in a couple of buttons on the console. Music with a heavy base line filled the cabin. "A few more days isn't going to change a damn thing."
Luke wanted to strike back at him - not just because Noah was imposing his wishes on Luke, but because he was right. Luke hadn't been looking after himself. Burying his head in the sand wasn't going to work anymore.
It was the same way he'd behaved the night before - falling into Noah's bed without considering the consequences.
There was no way Luke was going anywhere with Noah... he wasn't some plaything Noah could just carry around with him, picking Luke up and putting him down...
His thoughts came staggering to a halt. Noah's other office was in Chicago. Maddie was in Chicago. Luke could find shelter with his best friend - a person who always made him feel better.
"Okay," he said stiffly. "I agree to fly to Chicago with you."
Noah shot Luke an amused look. "Chicago? Who said anything about Chicago?"
Luke was a little taken aback. "Where are you taking me? You said meetings. You have offices in Chicago. I assumed..."
"Mauritius," he said flatly, his expression firming. "Sun, white sand, turquoise-sea. Bliss."
"But I don't have any luggage, my passport, clothes." Even as Luke protested he was rummaging around in his back pocket. By some stroke of luck - or fate - he did have his passport. He'd needed it the day before for a meeting with his lawyer. "I do have my passport."
Noah gave Luke a look he recognized from their night together. "You don't need luggage. You don't need clothes. You won't be getting out of bed."
Luke narrowed his eyes. "Is that so?"
Noah smiled wryly , his eyes back on the road. "And just in case that isn't clear enough for you, Luke," he drawled, "last night wasn't a one-night stand."