The following week, Lucy tried to avoid Wyatt without looking like she was avoiding Wyatt.
The morning after the party, he was solicitous and apologetic: offering recriminations about letting the apartment get flooded with people, apologizing to Lucy for pushing her out of her own room, for making noise so late into the night.
She got the distinct impression with his last comment that Wyatt was trying to gauge just how much Lucy might have heard of the drunken conversation about Wyatt's love life. A knot clenched her stomach. Her breath sped up, adrenaline spiking her system as anger and disappointment clashed within her. She felt a flush creep up her face. This time it wasn't from her errant thoughts flying to images of her housemate shirtless, or softly relaxed in sleep. Instead her mind went to his words after the party. Can you imagine me with a nerd like her? Her breath caught a little in pain once more.
After several tearful hours in the darkness of her bedroom in the wee hours, Lucy had decided she would give him no sign that she'd heard. Facing him now, she took a deep breath, willing the tension in her body to disappear. Her response was carefully bright and cheerful.
"Wyatt, you were just helping out your friends. And they're my friends, too. It made them happy." Lucy shrugged, aiming for the vicinity of casual, no-my-heart-hasn't-been-stomped-on-at-all. "Don't apologize for doing something nice."
Trying to underscore her lack of caring, she reached out and touched his wrist slightly. She'd done something similar the evening before the party, when Wyatt caught her crawling on the floor trying to sweep decade-old dust bunnies out from under the couch. Wyatt had said, "Knock it off, Cinderella," and then roundly denied any need to do that level of cleaning for the crowd they expected. Lucy had suddenly realized that her mother's standards for entertaining need not be hers. She'd felt a release, like a burden she'd been carrying on her back without noticing it for years. Laughing at herself, she'd touched Wyatt's hand.
His answering grin appeared in her mind as she made the gesture again. But the stiff smile on her face now felt nothing like her giggles of relief the day prior. And the tentative nod and searching look Wyatt returned was nothing like the artless, brilliant smile he'd given her when he'd taken the broom out of her hands.
Lucy doubled down on her smile, standing on her pride and swallowing her hope. Stupid to ever think he would be interested in me. Stupid, stupid.
In the days that followed, she saw a lot of Jiya. No need to look for an excuse to seek out distraction; her friend was on fire with plans for the wedding. Rufus seemed to be a little bit bowled over, but he had set this vehicle in motion. Neither of them wanted to wait a year or more to make it official. They both had little family, and their friends pretty much all got together at the beach or at one or the other of their houses any old time. So why not just toss a vase of flowers on the table and dress some place up a bit to make a wedding happen?
Lucy gave them some input. Working with her mother on academic events, she knew just how hard it was. There, she thought, some of my Mom's anal retentiveness can come in handy here at last. Responsibilities multiplied as you got more people involved and what was simple with a dozen friends could be completely overwhelming with 50 friends, family and other assorted "well they have to be there" kind of folk. Lucy convinced them they could find a low-key, but fun and supportive venue. And she promised to help them work up a budget that they could afford.
"Lucy, you gonna get another job as a wedding planner? Looks like you've got the skills," Wyatt said. He came home from a volunteer shift to find Lucy settled at their coffee table looking over site estimates and catering menus.
Lucy scrambled to clear up the papers. "I'll get out of the way, Wyatt." She chanced a quick glance his way, and gave what she hoped was a normal smile, "Nope. No new job for me. Just a favor for a friend." She heard herself emphasizing the last word and took a deep breath trying to catch a hold of her feelings. "But speaking of which, I do have a bunch of papers to finish. I had dinner already, see you later, Wyatt!"
She scurried out of the living room. With her gaze studiously on the ground, she missed the look of sadness and regret clouding Wyatt's eyes. Lucy closed her door louder than she intended. She also missed seeing Wyatt opening his mouth, begin to ask her what was going on.
Lucy dumped the pile of papers on her small desk. She slumped down in her chair and opened up her laptop. After poking through a list of emails she gazed longingly at the notebook she kept her hand written notes for her novel. After half an hour of reading and re-reading the same paragraph on the Battle of Gettysburg, she closed her laptop and grabbed her notebook. Lying down on her stomach on her bed, she started a new page with the heading, "Ways Parting."
Lucy slid the huge worn metal door open. The tall ceiling showed exposed brick and piping that had sheltered thousands of workers until the collapse of the industry left the structure abandoned. Now the hall was lit by neon and exposed filaments of vintage light bulbs. The hum of simulated motors warred with battle cries and explosions as the entertainment of yet another past era took the place of whirring machinery. Lucy took a seat at one of the long wooden tables that filled the central space of the restaurant. The outer circle leading to an ample bar, was lined with blinking video games. Lucy smiled thinking of her friends, hoping this would be as perfect as she had become convinced it would be when she found the listing online. She needed something to go right. She'd been having trouble sleeping since the party. Her heart ached each time she saw Wyatt. Tonight is about Rufus and Jiya, she wrenched her thoughts back from the precipice they kept wandering towards.
The door opened again. Two figures entered. Lucy blinked at the light they emerged that broke the dimness of the restaurant interior. As her eyes adjusted, Lucy could see their smiles. She nodded at them and jumped up to meet them and show them around.
After an hour of discussion with the restaurant manager, some sampling of unique liquers and several rounds of Dig Dug and Ms Pac Man, the three friends settled at a table to down some truffle fries and roasted brussel sprouts. Rufus asked Lucy how the editing gig was working out.
"It's fantastic. I had such a response from the boards that Faye introduced me to that I actually have hired them to help me with the mid-semester backlog. I've started saving money and I've practically got enough for a downpayment-" Lucy broke off. She hadn't told anyone yet that she was thinking about moving out of her shared apartment with Wyatt.
Rufus nodded, "You getting a car then? The traffic is terrible, but it helps a lot to have your own wheels to get around. I bet Wyatt can hook you up with one. We've gotten our last three cars re-fitted by him."
Lucy nodded vigorously, so pleased to have an escape from her mistake. Jiya eyed her closely, not taken in.
As they left the venue, Jiya spoke quietly aside to Lucy as Rufus summoned a Lyft on his phone.
"Lucy, you haven't said anything about a car. Is that what you meant?" Lucy tried to smile and nod. Jiya went on, "Really?"
Lucy couldn't maintain it. "You know, you remind me of my mom sometimes. No, I've been putting money aside since I got ahead of things, and I'm thinking of finding a place on my own."
"Why?"
Lucy looked over at Rufus. He glanced at the two of them and she saw his eyes glow as he looked at his fiancee. Lucy grimaced and went on, "I'm just taking up space in Wyatt's life. I thought we were getting on, but at the party I heard them talking about me and Wyatt..." She looked down at her feet. "Wyatt said I meant nothing to him."
Jiya laughed, capturing Lucy's attention again. "Wait, you mean that night after the party? Rufus told me a few of them got snookered at your place and apparently they said some stupid stuff. Rufus!" Jiya, called him over. Lucy's eyes flew open in panic.
"Rufus, Lucy heard you all taking garbage last week. I knew you should have apologized to her right away."
He looked abashed. "I was hoping you just woke up as we were going out, Lucy. I had drunk-well, I don't think I've ever been so drunk as that night. I vaguely remember making some kind of comments about you and Wyatt hooking up. And I'm sorry."
Lucy's face was pink. She prayed for a truck to hit her or some other mercy from the Universe to end this moment. "It's fine, Rufus. I didn't really hear much of anything."
"Enough to make you want to move out!" Jiya said. It was Rufus' turn for his eyes to fly open.
"That is the last thing Wyatt would want," he said earnestly, "Trust me. We may have been talking trash that night, but it just because it's been so long since any of us have seen him this happy. Ever since you've moved in, he's been a different person. Really."
Lucy couldn't take it in. "You must be imagining it."
Jiya took up the thread, "I see it, too. He's always been restless, getting in trouble, yeah, chasing the ladies. But for the last year he's started talking about getting his life in order, broke up again with Jessica. And in the past few months, when you've been here, he's started really doing it."
"That night after our party was the most drunk I've seen him in a long time, and he drank way less than the rest of us."
Lucy shook her head. "It's got to be a coincidence. It's great that he's turning his life around but it's got nothing to do with me. I heard him. He said I was just some nerd he lived with."
Rufus smiled grimly. "I thought you didn't hear much of anything that night?"
Glaring at her friend, Lucy said, "Can we just drop this now? We're focusing on your future, right? Not mine? Wyatt can be with whomever he wants. It's not going to be me and that's just fine."