Flynn thought he heard it when he was going to the bathroom to brush his teeth before bed. On his way back to his new bedroom, he stopped and listened by his mother's door. That confirmed it. It didn't sound like crying exactly, more like whimpering. He stood there for a long time, then turned and went back to his room. He tossed and turned for well over an hour, trying to get to sleep and just not managing it. His mind was wide awake. At first he was thinking about the blackmail and how angry he was at his mother. His aunt had told him that Skyler had only helped his father to try and rein him in. That he would've done it with or without her so she had decided to co-operate to try and limit the damage. For one thing Flynn didn't understand why she hadn't just told him that herself, since it seemed to exonerate her. But for another thing, he didn't really think it exonerated anything, because what she should have done, he strongly believed, was just talk to Uncle Hank.
Then his thoughts turned to trying to figure out what she could possibly have meant. Had she committed other crimes no-one knew about? Had she pulled the wool over their eyes? Had she been willingly working with his dad after all? Every time he had these thoughts, every sense in Flynn's body screamed no. He was sure she wouldn't. Couldn't. Just wasn't like that as a person. But he had been sure of that about his father as well. And so it went on, so many disturbing thoughts going round and around and around.
At 1:15 am, he got up to go to the bathroom. Again, he paused at his mother's door, but all was silent. Relieved, he continued on.
When he was washing his hands, he heard it. It sounded like a scream of terror. Quickly turning off the faucet, he grabbed his crutches and started moving back along the hallway, his wet hands slipping on the handholds. There came a longer, more wailing scream, followed by long, gasping sobs.
Flynn froze in the hallway and looked around in the dark, his heart beating wildly. The sound suddenly stopped, and all he could hear was his own panicky breaths. Then he heard a long, high-pitched wail. It was the sound of pure despair.
"Mom?" said Flynn, stumbling forward and putting his hand on a door handle. Afraid to turn it, he stopped and knocked. "Mom? Are you ok?"
The sound suddenly stopped, and there was silence for what felt like a minute, but was probably only five seconds. Then he heard rustling, a soft sigh and then a louder thud. He opened the door to find his mother standing before him attempting to wipe her eyes. She looked startled, and afraid.
"I-it's alright," he said. "I...I just… can I come in?"
Skyler was trying to repress it, but her body was still shaking with sobs. She stepped from one foot to the other.
"S-stop trying to hide it, I could…hear you from the bathroom." Flynn stepped inside and closed the door.
"I'm sorry," she said.
He rolled his eyes. "Oh, sorry for crying or sorry for being a…dick last night?"
"Both."
"Don't be sorry for crying." He stepped forward and put his arms around her. "N-never be sorry for that."
Skyler let go, and sobbed into his shoulder. Flynn rubbed her back and stood silently. When she began to calm, she pulled back from him and said sorry again.
"Jeez, Mom, you s-say sorry absolutely all of the time! It's not…normal." He sat down on the bed.
Skyler remained standing, looking down at him. "You should be in bed."
He laughed. "My relationship with you now is... r-really bizarre. I'm an adult and I…help you with a lot of things and y-you need my help with a lot of things, a-and everything about you is… completely different - y-you don't speak out, u-usually you don't argue, most of the time you barely say anything at all. But then just occasionally you'll say these Mom things to me. You should be in bed. Y-you shouldn't drink…alcohol. They're just really short little things, but they're a…a journey back to another time. It's r-really bizarre."
"You don't need me anymore."
"Bullshit."
"You don't, you're a very capable young man. I'm sorry that I still tell you what to do sometimes. It's not planned, it just slips out."
"It's fine. I mean, I'll…argue with you, but it's good…for you to argue sometimes, y-you hardly ever do now."
"I'm sorry about last night."
"Wh-what did you mean? The stuff we don't know, and if the Prosecution finds out, y-you're screwed?"
Skyler shook her head. "I can't explain to you what I mean."
"Well, like, when you… When, after Uncle Hank died, w-when…you were talking to me and… Aunt Marie about it, I mean eventually, w-when we convinced you to be honest with us. W-were you? Honest?"
"Yes. I didn't lie to you then, and I'm not lying to you now."
"But you were…talking about it then. You were e-explaining to us how everything happened, a-and you were saying hey d-do you have any more questions, and then we would ask more questions and…you would answer them. Did you answer…tr-truthfully?"
Skyler nodded strongly. "Yes. I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm not ... what I'm worried about if we talk about it now, when you're in possession of some information you didn't have then, and therefore you're more likely to ask me more detailed questions... what I'm worried about, and this happened today with Aunt Marie, is that if in preference to lying I simply stop talking and say I can't talk about that, I can't confirm or deny - I said that to her today and she just said, 'I assume the answer is yes, then.' I can't have you making any assumptions, I can't have you wondering anything or reading anything into my tone of voice or the look on my face, or…"
"I-I don't do that. I don't mi…mistrust you and try and read between the lines of…what you're saying. Sh-should I be doing that? Are there…hidden meanings in what you say?"
"No."
Flynn nodded. "Ok. Well on the blackmail thing, A-Aunt Marie already knew all about it, so she told me. Like…why you did it and everything. Which is a-a pretty good excuse, actually. Wh-why wouldn't you defend yourself by telling me that…yourself?"
"I really struggle with that. I struggle to think about it. I really struggle to talk about it. It was… one of the worst things I did, so."
Flynn nodded. "You know y-you should have just… talked to him?"
"Yes. I know."
"But you… you didn't want to turn Dad in."
"At that stage?" Skyler shrugged, and stopped herself from saying more. Her leg began to jiggle. "I'm really sorry for yelling."
"It's ok. Y-you're under a lot of stress."
"No shit, Sherlock." Skyler looked Flynn in the eye, and he giggled.
"I-I used to love those books," he said.
"I know."
Silence. Skyler looked down, and began fiddling with a loose thread on her pyjama pants. Her leg was still jiggling.
"I…I'm r-really gonna miss you, Mom."
Skyler looked at her son, breathing in and out slowly. "You're better off without me."
"What? H-how can you say that?"
"Because I'm a burden to you. In every way."
"No, y-you aren't!"
Skyler looked straight ahead.
"Mom! That can't be how you think!"
"You're a much better person than I am, and you put up with it incredibly well. You put up with comments from passers-by, intrusions from the media, intrusions from police, you have defended me several times from people on the street saying things, and I can only assume many other times I don't know about because you didn't even tell me because you keep things from me because you think I can't handle it, so you bear it all yourself. And then there are so many things we have to work around with Holly that I just expect your help with, and you give it because you're such a good person, and you never question it and you never complain."
"I used to complain a lot. I-I used to be an…asshole to you."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes I did, I di-didn't even try to understand you and you were…really suffering and I could've helped i-if I'd only tried to -"
"No no no no, you were a kid - every kid argues with their parents and they don't understand them because they can't - that is a normal thing teenagers do, and you should still be doing it now. You're right, our relationship now is bizarre because you should still be relying on me, and now it's the other way around. That's not the way it should be."
"I do re-rely on you. I've always…relied on you, y-you've always been there for me. Th-that's you, you're reliable, solid. I was talking to Aunt Marie about that once, and sh-she said the same thing."
"Not anymore, I'm sorry."
"N-no, if we need help or support, you give it to us. You're…always there for us. And Holly. Oh my god. Y-you do so much for Holly."
"Not for much longer."
"Yeah, you will again though. That's alright. Y-you know Holly, I… Sometimes I have to stop myself from…feeling jealous of the attention you…give her, but she needs that, I know, a-and you're just…so good at doing it, and the reason I don't f-feel jealous is that…I can remember you doing that for me. It's weird, it's really far back memories, l-like…they're really…foggy and not something... if you'd asked me about it I-I wouldn't even remember it, but I see you… do something with her and I... I just recognise it. B-but now I can see it in…context and I…can see how dedicated you are a-and how much effort you…put in to parenting. And you are damn good at it. And I think w-wow, lucky me." He smiled. "Y-you're a good person, Mom. D-don't beat yourself up and don't keep saying…sorry all the time. A-and I am…definitely not…better off without you and I-I am gonna miss you like hell. And..." Tears came to his eyes. "I… I'm just gonna miss you."
Skyler reached out a hand to stroke her son's face. She looked at him with eyes that were empty but at the same time filled with love. His tears spilled over and ran down his cheeks.
"My beautiful boy," she said.
...
When Marie got up the next day, no-one else was stirring, not even Holly. There wasn't a sound in the house.
She walked to the living room and then the kitchen, thinking to clear away the mess from the party, but she found that her sister had already done it. She stood in the kitchen, an undrunk glass of water at her lips, standing and staring.
Eventually she poured herself a bowl of cereal and blueberries, and put the coffee machine on. Then her niece appeared.
"Good morning!" she said loudly, putting on a smile.
"Good morning," said Holly. "Where's Mommy?"
"In bed. Asleep, I presume."
"Oh. It's not my birthday anymore." Holly stuck her bottom lip out.
"That's ok, you'll have another one next year. Meantime you get to enjoy all your lovely presents from yesterday! And your lovely memories. Just keep thinking back on how fun your party was!" Marie poured cereal and blueberries into another bowl and carried them both to the kitchen table. Then she walked back to the kitchen to grab the milk and to pour herself a cup of coffee.
"Can we have a party every day?" asked Holly.
"If we did that, it'd be boring. Parties are special because they only happen sometimes. Come on. Sit down and have your breakfast."
...
When Skyler got up, it was also quiet. Marie's bedroom door was closed, but she couldn't be in there at this time of day. Skyler had slept until 11, and she couldn't believe it.
Holly's bedroom door was open, and empty. Her heartbeat rising even higher than its normal level, Skyler rushed through the house to all the places they might have been, looking into the backyard and then finally the front yard, where she could clearly see that her sister's car was gone. Her son's was still there. She went to his door, which was also closed but she carefully opened it a crack. He was peacefully sleeping in the bed. She closed the door, her heart pounding.
...
Marie ripped chunk after chunk of bread, squished it down strongly into her hands, and then threw it into the pond with force, over and over again.
"You're throwing it too hard," said Holly. "You're scaring the ducks away."
Marie looked around. There were indeed no ducks anywhere near them. She looked at her niece. "Why aren't you throwing any bread in?"
"You scared the ducks away!"
"Oh. Sorry."
"Can we go back to Mommy now? Is she awake now?"
"Probably."
"Can we go back?"
...
It was silent when Flynn got up too. This was normal for him, because he always got up later than everyone else. He got himself some breakfast and ate it at the kitchen table. He heard a car pull up out front, and then after a pause he heard two doors open and close, followed by the fast and light footsteps that indicated his sister was running to the front door. "Mommy!" he heard her say. "Are you in there?" He heard jumping and banging and surmised that she was probably trying to open the front door but struggling to reach the door handle. He stood up to go and help her, but as he entered the hallway his mother swept along it from the living room at the other end. He looked at her in shock.
"Hey honey," she said softly as she swept into the front hallway and opened the door to the bouncing three-year-old. "Mommy!" Holly screamed, and Skyler lifted her into her arms.
"I didn't kn-know you were here," said Flynn.
"Where have you been, darling?" Skyler asked Holly as she carried her into the house.
"We went to the toy store and the park."
"The toy store?"
"Yeah cos one of the toys Aunt Marie got me didn't work right, so we had to change it."
"Didn't work properly. Properly is the word."
Flynn stayed where he was in the hallway as their voices faded. He was expecting his aunt to come in the door, but she didn't. He went through it to find her sitting on the hood of her car, a conflicted expression on her face. "Hey, wh-what's going on?" Flynn asked, walking across the threshold.
"Nothing. I'm just gonna go out, I-I've got a few things I need to... buy." She jumped up and open the driver's door.
"You only just got back."
"Yeah, Holly wanted to come back to see your mom, so."
"And are you avoiding…Mom?"
"Well, I…" Marie's hands flailed.
"Th-that's fair enough, but I had a…talk to her last night, she apologised and… explained everything."
"She explained everything? I seriously doubt that, her whole point was that she was explaining nothing."
"No, I mean just… I-it's ok, she's not…"
"It's alright, I just need to go shopping because I…" Marie caught herself and looked up at the sky, realising that it was a really not a good idea for her to go shopping when she was in this mood. "Actually you know what, screw that, you wanna come with me? I mean not to shopping, I mean just like we could go to the movies or the arcade or…"
"H-how old do you think I am?"
"What, you don't have to be a kid to go there! It's a fun place!"
Flynn grunted.
"Or we could just go out to lunch. Just you and me. That'd be fun."
"Just you and me c-cos you're avoiding Mom."
"So what if I am? Humour me. If I go off by myself I'll..." Marie looked down and fiddled with her keys.
"Alright." Flynn turned and walked back towards the house.
"Where are you going?"
"To tell Mom."
"You don't need to, just -"
"Yes I do, or she'll fr-freak out." He opened the door. "Mom? Aunt Marie and I are just going out for a bit. D-don't worry, it'll be fine. Mom?"
Kneeling on the floor of the living room holding a Barbie doll, Skyler had frozen.
"Mom? Alright?"
"Yeah!" She jumped up and took a step, but then heard the door close. She walked quickly to the front window, and watched the car pull away. Holly followed her holding a doll's dress. "Where are they going, Mommy?"
"Not sure."
"When are they coming back?"
Skyler placed a hand on the glass, having the incredibly selfish thought that she was glad Marie had already given her testimony. She turned around. "Come on, Holly. We're going home."
"Home? To our house?"
"Yeah."
"Do we live there now or here?"
"Um. In your case, kind of both."
"You moved a lot of boxes here. I saw you carry them. They looked really heavy."
"Yeah, that's right."
"Are you moving here, Mommy?"
"No. I have to go away, remember?"
"Oh."