"How was Burgess this morning?" Atwater weaved in and out of the traffic. They were on their way to execute a search warrant and it wasn't going to be a fun one. Well not fun in regards to easy, but they did like the thrill of a bit of action because these idiots always made things hard. It wasn't the first search warrant for this address and probably wouldn't be the last.
"Entertaining, did you not get the message?" Now that she was on maternity leave and close to having the baby she had agreed to a group chat just to stop the need to repeat herself three times because everyone wanted to know the same thing.
"Oh no I did, I thought she was joking?"
"She doesn't joke about things like that. If the baby isn't born by the weekend she will repaint the nursery."
"Aren't you renting?"
"So? That apparently is irrelevant." Adam used air quotes and Kevin giggled. Kim was apparently 'so fucking over it' and Adam seemed to be copping the brunt of it all. Although there were also a lot of moments when Kim sought out Adam for a lot of comfort and reassurance. She was very physical lately and loved to be close to him and he loved that.
"She's going nuts isn't she?"
"Yep."
As expected the search warrant didn't go smoothly and it took them half a day to track down who they were looking for, he wasn't at home and his two housemates could barely remember their own names and were of little help. It was a wild goose chase and both of them were tired, hungry and grumpy by the time they got the idiot in the back of a patrol car.
Adam checked his phone. He'd had a call from Kim an hour ago and she'd left him a voice message and three texts asking him to call her. "Fuck." He listened to the message and quickly hit the speed dial.
"Hey sorry, what's going on? Are you okay? Where are you?"
"I'm at home. I think I am in labour."
His voice went up about three octaves. "How long? How far apart?"
"Twenty minutes for the past two hours but they are getting stronger."
"Okay, I'm on my way." He clicked his fingers to indicate to Atwater that they needed to turn the car around. They were almost back to the District. "Have you called the hospital?"
"No, I was waiting for you." The closer it got the more Kim relied on Adam. Everyone took a little step back and let him take the lead. Not only was she nervous about the birth but the whole situation with who the father was, or wasn't just bought it to a new level. Adam was surprisingly calm about it all, he'd learnt that she didn't need him to tell her to stop worrying, to calm down and that she'd be fine…she just needed him to listen to her rants.
"Alright, we are ten minutes away. I need to call Voight and then I will call you back okay?"
Kim didn't want him to hang up and begged him to hurry. "Tell Atwater to stop driving like an old lady."
"Hey Sarge…."
"Where are you? This was not supposed to take all day."
"I know, look he was hard to track & he's on his way in with Patrol, anyway Burgess is in labour." Adam sounded strangely calm but he was anything but. His insides were churning and he thought he might just vomit with the way Kevin was driving. "Atwater's going to take us to the hospital but I'm out for the day."
Voight changed his tune quickly and told him to go, not that Adam needed his permission and Voight was well aware this was a courtesy call not a request. "Is she okay?"
"Don't know, she says she's fine, like twenty minutes or something." Voight was the last person he wanted to be talking to right now. "Anyway can you tell Platt? I need to get back to Kim."
Kim was clutching her phone and almost jumped out of her skin when it rang again. "You okay?" Adam asked before she could speak. She had been walking around their apartment all morning and she guessed this is what they called 'nesting' although typically it was supposed to happen earlier than this, not when she was actively in labour. She packed and re-packed her bag several times and re-organised the baby's clothes twice. When she couldn't get hold of Adam she had started to panic and the longer it took for him to get back to her the more her anxiousness increased. She couldn't do this without him, she didn't want to. Adam was going to tell her it was going to be okay; he was her person.
"Yeah. Hurry up please."
"Hey, we are almost there. Atwater is freaking out right now." Adam wasn't exactly calm either, they were both on edge. This was way more intimidating than any ambush they walked into. At least they had training and some idea of what they were doing, Adam had been in the birthing prep classes and yet still felt woefully under prepared. Atwater had bailed three minutes into watching a childbirth video so he was useless and Platt was strangely hysterical about the whole thing and apparently sent Mouch to sleep in the spare room for three nights because she was worried she'd somehow fall pregnant, which was absurd and hilarious at the same time.
"What about you?"
"Cool as a cucumber." Kim heard Atwater scoff in the background. Atwater knew him as well as she did; he was like a duck, smooth sailing on the surface but underneath he'd be going a million miles an hour. "Voight's letting Platt know, she'll meet us there." He could hear her phone beeping with another call. "That's Platt right?" He laughed.
"It is."
"Go talk to her, she'll rip me limb from limb if I am the reason you reject her call."
Kim literally flew into his arms as soon as he arrived despite being mid contraction. She clung to him and groaned loudly and Adam freaked out. "You are not having it right now are you?" It was intense and he had no idea what was going on. Atwater stood at the doorway in complete disarray until he decided to abscond with her bag down to the car. He needed catch his breath and calm the fuck down. He was in no way prepared to help his best friend give birth.
"No, I don't think so. I don't know. I need to go to the hospital. I'm scared Adam, I can't do this."
"Hey, hey." He rocked her slowly and whispered in her ear. "We are doing this, together remember. We are going to meet our little one today. I'm right here."
"Why aren't you freaking out?"
"Remember what I told you before, externally calm, internally freaking the fuck out." He kissed her forehead. "Shit girl, I love you."
Adam walked slowly down the hall, just taking one last minute to get his head around everything that had transpired over the past few hours. It had been a rough labour, long and painful and Kim had really struggled. It was incredibly terrifying and equally amazing to watch her go through it. He felt useless for most of it but he couldn't imagine being anywhere else.
Everyone was up out of their seats the moment he pushed open the doors to the waiting room.
"He's perfect." Adam grinned. "All 9lbs 6ozs of him. He's doing great, Kim is good. He didn't want to budge and it was pretty rough for a while, but they are both okay."
He opened his phone and showed them all a video as their family crowded around him. The baby was splayed out on Kim's chest, wailing manfully at life. "I'm just glad it's over to be honest."
"Ohh, a boy, he's beautiful." Platt gasped. "I just want to snuggle him forever."
"In a little while. It was a pretty tough delivery; Kim is just waiting to be transferred back to the ward and then she'll be ready to show him off." Adam shoved his hands in his pockets so that no one could see them shaking. He'd had to make decisions that he wasn't ready for. They were close to doing an emergency C-section and Kim had refused. She baulked at have a catheter inserted when they were worried she hadn't voided for a while and that were concerned her bladder may rupture during the delivery. Adam was asked to make a call when Kim become disorientated and dehydrated. He agreed to the catheter and then to the C-Section but then suddenly she started crowning and her little boy slid into the world just minutes later.
"Does he have a name?" Kevin was ecstatic and just wanted to see his girl and meet this new little dude.
"Not yet." Adam shook his head, it had all been a little hectic after the delivery, he had needed a few extra minutes of oxygen to get him going but he was doing well now. Kim knew that Blair's family were really hoping for a boy and that he would be named after his father but Kim didn't want to saddle him with that legacy so she was struggling a little. Adam had his suspicions that Kim was hoping for a girl to avoid that decision and when he was a boy it had rattled her.
They'd had a few discussions about names and Adam certainly had some opinions, he let her know when he really hated a name but knew that it wasn't his decision to make. He really felt like he didn't have that right. Kim had settled on a few different names and then decided she didn't like any of them once she had seen him. So they were back to square one and Adam again didn't want to influence her one way or the other. "Anyway I'm going to get back in there. As soon as she's up for it I will let you know."
Kim wasn't doing so well; she was an emotional mess. This had taken a bigger toll on her than she imagined and she was shocked that when she looked at the baby she didn't 'love him' instantly. When he got back to her room the baby was in the cot beside her and Kim's eyes were closed. He sat on the edge of the bed and rested his hand on her leg and his heart broke to see the tears tumble down her cheeks.
"Oh Kim Darlin', let it out."
"I should love him and I do, I really do, it's just…." She sobbed. "…this is not how I wanted this to happen. I wanted him to be yours, I wanted this to be our moment. I've let you down."
"You haven't let me down and this is our moment. I never wanted this for you either or for me but we can't sit here and worry about the what if's and maybes. We've got a baby to raise together into an incredible boy and man. That's all that matters."
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"Him."
"Don't be sorry Kim, don't, I'm here because I want to be. I am not his father but I can be his Dad. Anyone can father a child, it's the next twenty, thirty, forty years that matter. This is what it is, let's look ahead, not back."
"If Blair was here he'd be in his life, he'd be his Dad."
"I know, I know but he wouldn't be with you because you and me, that was unstoppable." Adam reached for her hand and ran his fingers up and down her palm. He hated seeing her struggling at a time when she should be enjoying getting to know her little boy. He wanted to fix it for her and he couldn't. He wanted to find the right words to make everything better but he didn't know what they were. "I know he's not my biological child, but I can still fill a role in his life, I can fill that role in his life because otherwise he doesn't get it and no child deserves that. He's got a tribe behind him Kim, there is a waiting room full of people waiting to meet him and love him and that's a good thing. Is it perfect? No it's not but we've got to make it as perfect as we can with the cards we've been dealt."
"I don't deserve you."
"Yes you do and he deserves us." The baby squirmed and let out a little cry, he was a little random at the moment they were figuring out. Neither of them really had a clue what they were doing. "Can I pick him up?"
"Sure."
Adam had one quick hold just after he was born and he was pretty grimy and bloody which had shocked him a little, now he was settled and peaceful so he gently picked him up and cradled him to his chest. It had been a long time since he'd held a baby this small. His nephew was the last baby he held. Kim closed her eyes and just listened to him talk to the little boy. "Hey, my man. You are one handsome dude; the ladies are going to love you. All the good bits of your Mom and Dad. You are one lucky bub, see this woman here, love of my life, my reason for living and she's gonna love you so much you won't know what hit you. And then just outside there is this tribe, this family that adore you already. You will never wonder if you are loved." He bent down and kissed his slightly wrinkled forehead, with his dark hair poking out from under his little blue hat. "I love you."
Ginny came in first. She had arrived just after Adam had gone back in having got on the first flight she could when Atwater called her. "How's Kim? How's it going?" She rushed at Atwater. Adam had asked him to let Kim be the one to tell her it was a boy. It was the one thing she had asked for.
"She's okay, the baby is here and it's all good. They are just settling Kim into her room and Adam will come and get you."
"And? Boy or Girl?"
"I've been sworn to secrecy, Kim wants to tell you." Atwater assured her that they were both perfectly healthy and there were no concerns.
"Oh, this is torture." She sighed. They had come to an understanding. Ginny had backed off and let Kim do it her way and Kim had done her best to include Blair's family, she always sent them her scans and updates and photos of their new apartment with the nursery all set up. They had found a small three bedroom place and moved in just two weeks before her due date. In the end she went four days early but they had had a pretty big working party to move them in and get it all sorted and Kim didn't lift a finger.
Ginny was overwhelmed when Kim told her that the third bedroom was for her and she was welcome to come visit at any time. It was a nice balance that they reached, whether that changed now he was here was yet to be seen.
She sat down heavily. "I can't believe it. And Kim's okay?"
"She is, Adam said it was tough but we've got a healthy mom and bub and that's all we wanted."
"You know, those two?"
"Always meant to be together. He's a good guy, he'll take care of both of them, otherwise I'll kick his ass I promise."
"I know." She shook her head. "You know in the beginning I thought she can't do that; she can't move on. I sort of expected her to be single forever because you know it was my brother's baby but that's stupid. She never really loved Blair, I can see that but I know she'll love his baby and they will take care of him." Ginny looked a little sheepish. "Then I will admit, and I told Kim when you walked into that restaurant I kinda hoped you were Adam, you know." She shrugged. The thought that the new man in Kim's life was one of them had been a fleeting but nice thought. It wasn't to be though but knowing that Kevin was so close to them eased that disappointment.
"I'm not half the man he is."
"He's been so great. He really loves Kim and I can see that and I can see how much he cares about Bean. I'm just happy to be involved."
"Hey, you are Aunt Ginny, nobody is taking that away from you."
"I know." She laughed. "You and Adam, you are both too hard to hate."
Adam came out and congratulated Ginny on becoming an Aunt. "Go on in, there is this perfect little human waiting to meet you."
Ginny almost ran down the hall and knocked quietly on the door and Kim beckoned her in. "Congratulations." She was sitting up in the bed cradling the baby. Watching Adam with him had started to kick her maternal instincts into gear.
"Thanks Ginny. Come in, come and have a cuddle."
She noticed his little blue cap immediately. "It's a boy?"
"He is, he's all boy, all 9lbs 6 ozs of him."
"Oh Kim." She laid the baby in her Aunt's arms. "He's so beautiful, thank you. He looks a little like Blair does from his baby photos. He's just perfect."
"Riley; Riley Blair Williams Burgess." Adam had loved the name; it was one of his favourites and he had been surprised when Kim told him she'd made the decision to call him Riley. Kim wanted a name that Adam loved to thank him for choosing to be in her baby's life. It was sweet but she also wanted to honour the fact that Blair was his father. They had thought of Will, but having Will Halstead as a close friend felt weird and Billy was a no go because Kim's first boyfriend and first broken heart was Billy Weston and she just couldn't do it. Adam had teased her, asking if he should be worried that she'd leave him if Billy reappeared and Kim had told him yes, yes he should be worried and Billy or any form of William was scratched off the list.
"Hi Riley, oh you are the sweetest baby in the world. I love you so much already." Ginny kissed his forehead. Ginny had long prepared herself for Kim not naming the baby after her brother but she did like that she did include him. Her parents, probably weren't going to be quite so forgiving, they had their heart set on a boy named Blair. "He's perfect. And you? You are okay?"
"I'm okay, sore, tired and very emotional but I am okay. I'm glad he's here and safe and healthy." Kim squeezed Ginny's hand as the tears trickled from the corners of her eyes. "Welcome to our family Ginny."
"Thank you. Thank you." Kim could see how much this meant to Ginny and she did get emotional watching her with her nephew. It was a beautiful moment.
"Shall we call your parents? I'm sure they'd love to meet him."
"I didn't tell them you were in labour." Ginny admitted, sheepishly even though she promised them she would. When Kevin rang her to tell her that Kim was in labour it was a very overwhelming moment, the thought of seeing some part of her brother again and meeting his child was more difficult to reconcile than she thought it would be. "I couldn't stand the millions of messages I'd get."
"I'm dreading looking at my phone, Trudy's probably been busy." Kim had turned her phone off as she ticked over five hours of labour. She just couldn't deal the constant buzzing and left it up to Adam to keep everyone up to date.
They called Blair's parents, and they were delighted but Kim and Ginny could both tell they were a little put out about the name. Adam came in after the call, along with the name issue they still weren't happy that Adam was in the baby's life so he agreed it was best not to be around for this moment. They were old and set in their ways but Ginny managed them well. Ginny left Kim to call her family and once she called her mother and sister she let Adam know that it was time to let Intelligence off the chain. Kevin and Trudy were first and then over the next hour or so Jay, Voight, Hailey and Vanessa all came to meet Riley. He was the perfect angel and slept all through it.
It was sweet watching Voight with him, they were used to emotion from him, it was just that the most common emotion from him was anger. This little boy bought out a whole new side to him, filling the hole a little that was left by the grandson he never saw. He was in love and they struggled to get Riley back off him so everyone else could have a cuddle.
It was a few hours before it all calmed down and it was just Adam left. "You can go out for a drink with the others. We'll be okay?" There was a lot of talk about heading to Molly's to celebrate Riley. Uncle Kevin and Aunt Trudy were leading the charge and Trudy even declared the first round was on her.
"I kinda like it here." He was watching Riley sleep in his arms. "I can't imagine life without him now. That's crazy isn't it?"
"No, not really." Kim smiled. "He looks good on you. I can't wait to see you with your own baby one day. I want you to be a Dad."
"I honestly can't imagine it would feel any different." He wiped away a tear that forced its way out. "I can't believe you said that."
"What?" Kim was worried that she had said the wrong thing. It had been a lot of back and forth as to whether Adam would be called Adam or Dad. Right now he was going to be Adam, they didn't want to overshadow Riley's arrival with any angst about Adam being called Dad. She knew, while Blair's parents were happy to be getting a grandchild and Kim made sure they had a place in Riley's life they were firmly in the camp that Blair was his father and weren't ready to let Adam be 'Dad.' They thought they would ease into it and over time see how it went. Trudy had talked sense to them both.
'Just give them this right now, you know as well as anyone that by the time this baby is talking they will be looking for their Dad and that will be Adam. Labels aren't important to you or to Adam because you both know the role he is playing but it is important to them.' She was right, what Adam was called wasn't that important to them, he was the one who was going to be there every day through sleepless nights, illness, when they were scared, when they wanted a cuddle, to play, to learn and to live.
"My own baby one day. I want this moment again, with you." Adam ran his forefinger over Riley's cheek and let him curl his little hand around it as it rested against his own face. His tiny fingers holding on for dear life. "But I am so happy I'm in his life, I love him Kim. I really do."
"This is just the start for us."