After the third day of Skyler's testimony was over, she could barely see straight. As she walked along the corridor to the front of the courthouse, her feet were shuffling, her head was bowed, as it almost always was these days, and she could barely focus on what was in front of her. She knew that part of this was tiredness, but most of it was the searing mass of thoughts, memories, fears and regrets that were writhing around her mind.

"Skyler!" called Kim, catching her up. "You ok?"

"Yeah," Skyler replied breathily.

"I'm sorry that took so long. I wanted to be thorough, but Martin... he just wanted to break you. I think he thought if he kept you up there for as long as possible and spun his questions in enough different ways, that you'd contradict yourself. You didn't. Well done."

"Yes I did, everything I do is a contradiction!"

"No, it didn't come across that way. You did really well."

Skyler sighed. "That's the end, right?"

"In the morning we've got the phone call. I've been saving that 'till last."

"What phone call?"

"From when Walt called you after he took Holly."

Skyler's head fell back and she stumbled into the wall. "Oh."

"Are you gonna be ok to hear that?"

"Yeah. Yeah yeah."

"Are you sure? I don't know how much you remember - you might have blocked it out - but I listened to it recently and it's pretty confronting."

Skyler closed her eyes and breathed.

"Do you want me to ask permission for you not to be present?"

"I don't know, Kim, I can't think anymore. Do what you think is best."

Kim nodded. She was genuinely worried that Skyler might break down again like she had during Flynn's testimony, but the phone call was quite short, so she thought if Skyler did break down, it hopefully wouldn't necessitate another adjournment because there simply wasn't anything to interrupt. In that case, the phone call would end and the court would proceed, and Skyler might still be crying while the prosecutor was giving his closing argument, which Kim thought would be a wonderful distraction for the jury.

"I think it's better if you're in court for it."

Skyler nodded, her eyes closed.

Kim glanced along the corridor. "Marie's coming."

Skyler's eyes popped open and she stood up straight.

"Hey," said Marie, putting her hand on Skyler's shoulder. "Good job. You really gave that prosecutor a run for his money."

"That's what I was just saying," said Kim.

"So what are the chances then? Do you think she can get off?"

"I can't discuss that in a public place like this. Nobody knows what the verdict will be."

"But you must have an idea - I mean you've been through a lot of trials!"

"I have, and discussing it in the corridor could mess it all up."

Marie's mouth snapped shut.

"I'll see you in the morning."

"No wait, can we go into your office and discuss it? You have an idea, right?"

"I need a smoke," said Skyler, turning and almost running along the corridor to the door.

"I've told Skyler my thoughts," said Kim to Marie. "You can ask her. But the important thing to remember is that nobody knows what the verdict will be. I gotta run through my closing arguments, so I'll see you tomorrow." Kim turned and walked away.

"So when will -" Marie stopped short, realising she was gone already.

...

Skyler was leaning on a wall at the side of the courthouse, desperately puffing through her second cigarette. She was facing the wall, because she had had to run past the journalists gathered at the front of the courthouse and turn away from them as far as she could so that they couldn't photograph her. They could photograph her, of course. But somehow it didn't feel as bad if she could hide her face.

"There you are!" said Marie loudly, appearing at the corner of the building. "No, we're both not allowed to say anything, get away!" she said to the journalists.

Skyler didn't turn around as she lit a third cigarette.

Marie walked up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?" She coughed. "Apart from giving us all lung cancer?"

"I'm fine. Don't you have to go and get Holly?"

"That's what you said yesterday."

"Nothing has changed since yesterday. You still have her four nights a week."

"I know, but you can come too. We missed you last night."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

Skyler didn't reply.

"Dr Jensen said we can both spend time with her together. She said we need to make memories now!"

"I am…" Skyler sighed, and took another puff of her cigarette. "I'm not capable of making anything other than bad memories right now, so I'm gonna go home."

"Come on. She'll cheer you up."

Skyler shook her head, blowing out another billowing stream of smoke.

"She always cheers you up!"

"No she doesn't. Now she just breaks my heart."

Tears sprang to Marie's eyes. She looked away and took an uncertain breath. "Kim said I should ask you what she thinks the verdict will be."

"What?"

"I asked her and she wouldn't tell me. But she said she told you."

"She doesn't know, Marie."

"But what does she think?"

Skyler shrugged.

"She said you did really well with your testimony. Which is true, I mean, there were several moments when you knocked that prosecutor asshole right out of the ballpark!"

Skyler finished her cigarette and stubbed it out on the wall of the courthouse. She turned and began walking towards her car.

Marie followed. "She thinks it's good, right?"

"Marie! There are journalists right there! And she doesn't know, and neither do I and neither do you: we don't know! My whole life is flying over a cliff and I don't know what's gonna happen next!"

"It'll be better than we thought. I know it'll be better than we thought at the start. I've been watching and listening to everything, and I just know that-"

Skyler spun around. "Marie! Stop."

"Just relax and enjoy yourself for once, it is not as bad as we thought!"

"You don't know that." Skyler quickened her pace.

"Well not for sure, not like 100%, but - Sky? Skyler!" Marie ran to catch up. "Well ok, how about this, ok. You know in movies and stuff when it's the night before a big battle or something and the characters are pretty sure they're gonna be killed the next day, so they just go out and party and have a good time, because you have to seize the moment, and they don't know what's gonna happen - maybe they'll survive and maybe they won't, but that night they just don't think about it! They let go and relax! Enjoy the time they have! You need to relax, Skyler, this trial has been so taxing on you - I can see it in your face, and your behaviour and everything about you - you are so stressed out and upset, and you need to let it go for a few hours! Come with us! We're gonna make lasagne!"

Skyler arrived at her car and turned. "Marie, I need you to listen to this really carefully, because it's so important. Please listen and please promise me that you will do this."

"Do what?"

"There will be times when my interests and Holly's interests conflict. When that happens, I want you to choose her."

Marie frowned. "Ok."

"No no no, it's not ok, it is absolute. You choose her. You fulfil her interests, her needs, not mine. Do you understand?"

"Of course, yeah."

"Promise me you'll do that."

"Well of course I'm gonna -"

"Promise me."

"Sure. I promise."

"Ok. Good. This is one of those times."

"What?"

"I cannot deal with her tonight."

Marie frowned. "But she's delightful!"

"I can't."

"What's wrong?"

"I gotta go." Skyler put her car key in the door and turned it.

"What do you mean it's not in her interest?"

Skyler opened the door and got in the car. Marie grabbed the door and held it open. "What do you mean? What do you mean by that?"

"I can't, I just… I can't push it down anymore."

"Push what down?"

Skyler closed her eyes and breathed.

"Everything that's upsetting you? You can't turn it off and make a happy face for Holly."

Skyler nodded.

"But you said that her interests conflict with yours, so it's not in her interests to see you upset, is that it?"

"Yeah."

"But it is in your interest to be with us."

Skyler fiddled with her keys on her lap.

"Because we can work around that - what if we just tell her you're sick and you go straight to bed? At my house, just so that you're not alone - I mean it's awful to be alone when you feel like crap! Or ok, here's another option, what if we call Flynn and get him to look after Holly, and you and I can hang out? It's good to talk about things but we don't have to, we can just watch a movie or something - I just think you need to relax! And yes I know, looking after a three-year-old is not relaxing, so…. Sky? You wanna do that?"

"I-I… No, I... I need to be alone."

"Are you alright? You look awful. You look worse than you did yesterday, which is surprising given what came out yesterday, what you had to talk about, but maybe you repressed it yesterday and then today it came back and-"

"Didn't I ask you never to talk about that again?"

"I'm not. I'm just saying that it's perfectly reasonable and understandable that you would feel terrible right now, and I just think it's better for you to be with family!"

Skyler raised a hand. "You just promised me that you would choose Holly over me."

"I know, but what if I take you to my house first, put you to bed, then I go and get her - I don't even have to tell her that you're there. Then she goes to bed at 7:30, and then -"

"Just go, Marie, please, I need you to go."

Tears formed in Marie's eyes again.

"And Holly needs you to pick her up now, not in an hour. It's already late."

Marie nodded and stood up. "Ok." She placed a hand on Skyler's shoulder. "Call me. If you need anything, just… call or text or…"

Skyler nodded and turned the ignition.