Firstly, I'd like to apologise for the massive delay in update. Life has been super hectic and I kind of forgot about this for a while. I am setting out to finish what I started though so I hope I still have readers. If you like this fic, you should see my other little-Estel fic called "As the Leaves Fall".
I know Gilraen is still alive in the books around this time, but for dramatic effect, I've made it so that she left when Estel is two because she cannot cope with the death of Arathorn or raise a child.
Note: I'm not keeping this strictly in chronological order, I'm jumping between the timelines a little bit, but I really wanted to write this.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
"Family is supposed to be our safe-haven.
Very often it is the place where we find
our deepest heartaches."
Estel had been gone for hours. Nobody had seen him since midday and he had missed his combat practice with Elladan, which was otherwise his favourite lesson. Two days ago, Estel had turned twenty and that meant he was a man now and had come off age. In the past year, Elrond had been less strict on his rules with him and allowed him to explore the lands more without perhaps so many boundaries as when he was a child. It was a relief really, it gave the Elf-Lord more time to focus on other things, such as actually ruling his kingdom, which had been challenging from time to time but loved his children. In fact, he was sorely looking forward to the return of Arwen, his daughter, who had chosen to live with her grandmother Galadriel in Lothlorien for many years.
By nightfall, Lord Elrond had grown concerned that Estel was nowhere to be found. He began to search throughout the grounds of Imladris but nobody seemed to know where his youngest son was. Until he eventually found Estel, pacing around the edges of a fountain, throwing rocks into the water.
"If you keep that up," said Elrond "We're not going to have any water left in that fountain."
Estel turned around to Elrond who instantly saw the look in his eyes. One of sadness, and confusion. He knew that Estel had had a few rough days this past week and that he sometimes was feeling as though he did not fit in. It usually always passed but this time not so.
"Is there something wrong with me Adar?" he asked
"Whatever makes you think that?' Elrond replied, puzzled
"Sometimes they look at me as though they are frightened of me, adar." Said Estel. Frustrated, he buried his face in his hand and felt his cheeks getting hot. "It's as though, I have this shadow over me and they dare not get too close. It never used to be like that when I was a child. What has changed? I know there is something you are not telling me."
Elrond felt his heart grow heavy. For years, he knew this day would come, and yet he was still unprepared for it. Estel was no child anymore, he was a man now and off age.
"Come with me, Estel."
Estel knew his father had that voice he used when he wasn't asking questions and so he walked silently behind the elf-Lord through the gardens. They came to a place he knew well and a place where
"You have always lived here. In fact, I was there when you were born all those years ago with your father and mother. Eighteen years ago, your brothers were out hunting orcs with your father. They'd been pursuing the orc pack for some time and when they found them, engaged in combat. Your father was slain by a poisonous orc arrow He died instantly. Your brothers have never forgotten him, he was their friend."
As Elrond was telling the story, Estel listened intently while putting new flowers on his mother's grave. He had always known that he had been orphaned but this was the first time Elrond had told him the truth. Estel wasn't sure how to process this new information; he wasn't angry at Elrond for keeping it from him, he wanted to know more.
"It was your mother's wish to raise you here." Elrond explained, as he heard the word leave his mouth he vividly remembered the day Gilraen gave Estel to have in his care. Estel had so often wondered why his mother wasn't there and each question ached within Elrond. "She was heartbroken and could not bare to live without your father."
Estel feared the words coming next and he felt silent tears fall down his fact as he was kneeling in front of her mother's grave. "It was Erestor who found her dead in the morning, We buried her here and we have not stopped grieving her."
Elrond turned to his son and wiped the tears running down his face.
"Your father was Arathorn II, a chieftain of the Dunedain and a direct descendant of Isildur."
Isildur…Estel knew that name. He had heard it countless stories. Isildur who defeated Sauron but refused to cast the Ring of Power into the fires of Mount Doom. Isildur who was thought to have been a great king of men and a leader, fearless and powerful. He was nothing but a traitor. And Estel was his heir.
"Estel, you are the only son of Arathorn, one day you shall be king." Elrond said "Your mother entrusted me with your care to keep your identity safe so that nobody would find you or harm you."
"No…." Estel didn't want to hear anymore of it. This was not his destiny. He would not be part of the heritage responsible for so much suffering and death. Worst of all was that Elrond knew it.
"Not him…." Estel whispered
"Estel-"
"NO! I WON'T HAVE IT!"
Elrond tried reaching out for Estel but he backed away only to find himself backing into a statue. Furiously he threw a punch at it and his hand begun bleeding, but Estel was still crying. And so it was that the son of Arathorn and Gilraen sunk down onto the ground, hugged his knees and sobbed like a child. Without looking up, Estel felt Elrond kneeling in front of him and pulled him in for a hug.
"I don't want to be like him, adar." Estel whispered through his tears
"You are not like him Estel." Elrond said "Believe me, I know. We are here because of our family. We owe our existence to them. But just because you are related by blood it does not mean that your fate has to follow his. We each choose our own fate and yours is a great one. Of that I have never had any doubt."
"Do you promise, adar?"
"Yes, aier. I promise."