AN: Happy Birthday Worm!

"Dean and Cas should go to couples counselling, that would be HILARIOUS." That was the plan anyway... It did not work out like I thought. Also, not only did the word count run away with me, it ended up being a two-parter. I'm not really sorry. About any of it.

As this work is a gift for my usual beta, it has not been beta'd.

Timeline is late season 13ish.

Part 1 - In the Beginning

Dean put the car in park and turned the key to stop the engine. Then he just sat there, hands at ten and two, eyes straight ahead. He made no move to get out.

Next to him on the passenger side sat Cas, his hands gripped together in his lap, head turned away from Dean, staring out the passenger window.

And in the back seat sat Sam, just epically done with their shit.

Leaning over the front seat, Sam reached out and pulled the keys out of the ignition before Dean could stop him. At least that got a reaction out of Dean.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Sam?" Dean turned around and glared at his brother, with more anger than grabbing the keys warranted.

"You know what I'm doing. We're not going anywhere until you two go up there. Mia is waiting for you. She cleared her whole day because I told her you might be difficult about it, so she isn't going anywhere, and we're not going anywhere. What's it going to be, Dean?"

Sam heard an unhappy sigh escape from Cas, and Dean's eyes darted towards the passenger side. He couldn't help himself, Sam knew. Even when they were barely talking to each other, Dean still worried about Cas. Because the idiot loved Cas, and Sam was going to damn well get him to admit that before this day was over.

Even Mary had accepted that Cas and Dean were more than friends. That had come out one evening while Dean was introducing Cas to the Ghostbuster movies. Sam had gotten up to get some more beers for everyone when he'd seen Mary leaning against the doorway of the kitchen, watching Dean and Cas. Just watching them, her head tilted to one side and a small smile on her face. Sam had gone to stand with his mom and turned around to see what it was that she was seeing. Dean was leaning towards Cas, arm hanging over the back of the couch, other arm stretched towards the TV, hand waving wildly, obviously trying to explain some major plot point in the second movie. Dean was grinning and Cas was watching him avidly, eyes following every gesture Dean made but always brought back to Dean's face. Sam had seen the sparkle that appeared in both men's eyes every time they were relaxed and together. It had become a part of his life years ago, but seeing it through his mom's eyes, like it was the first time, made him realise just how intertwined Cas and Dean had become. He could have kicked himself for not realising it sooner, for not kicking his brother's ass to do something about it sooner. They'd lost so much time, time when they could've been everything they obviously wanted to be to each other.

"He loves him." Mary said simply.

Sam had chuckled quietly, "Which one?"

And he'd made a decision then. He was going to make his brother see what he had right in front of him.

But of course Dean was as stubborn and hardheaded as a mule and could also be really dense about things that affected him personally. Especially things that involved his emotions. Hints hadn't worked. Arranging that the two of them spent more time together didn't help, because they just continued on as they always had.

Eventually Sam had to come straight out and put it into words for Dean.

"Oh for Christ's sake, Dean! You LOVE him!" Sam had nearly banged his head against the nearest wall when Dean asked, "who?" as if there were so many choices of "hims" who Dean could be in love with.

Sam had scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration. "Cas, man. You love Cas." Dean had begun to say that sure, he loved Cas like a brother, Sam knew it, so he'd cut him off. "You're IN LOVE with him. Have been for years. Don't even try to deny it. I've known you my whole life and the way you are with Cas? It's like—It's like…" Sam struggled to find the words. "Dude you don't even look at the Impala like that. It's like he's Led Zeppelin, bacon and cherry pie all in one trenchcoat-wrapped package, just for you."

Dean rolled his eyes, but Sam had seen the gears start to shift into place as Dean walked away. The man had truly never realised it before.

Dean had been distant for a few days after that. It made sense, Sam thought. His whole view of himself as a solo, devil-may-care, (and very heterosexual) hunter had been turned upside-down. But of course Dean had pushed Cas away. He'd tried to not make it seem obvious, but Cas noticed and was hurt. Mary noticed and was worried, but Sam told her to just give Dean some time. He thought that Mary might have talked with Cas about it. Sam loved the man too, but he really didn't want to have heart-to-hearts with Cas about his brother. It was bad enough he had to beat Dean over the head with a stick about it.

Stupid, stubborn brother!

Eventually, Dean had relaxed and things had gotten back to normal. Then Sam noticed that Dean was touching Cas more. Little touches, on his arm, the small of his back, his neck. Whenever there was an opportunity to touch, Dean took it. And Cas was reciprocating. He would lean into Dean, closer than before. They would talk in hushed voices. Once or twice Sam had heard them talking in Dean's room. They were only talking but the door had been closed so Sam had considered that progress.

And of course that's when things went wrong. Horribly, epically, clusterfuck-wrong. Because this was their life and that's what happened.

Jack appeared, Mary disappeared and Cas died all in a matter of hours and Dean shut down. Well, his anger didn't shut down. Because when Dean was feeling too much, he got pissed. And he'd basically stayed pissed, even after everything was back to normal. What passed for normal in their lives, anyway.

When Cas came back, when Dean saw him waiting for them at the phone booth he'd called Dean from, Sam had watched as his brother broke open with relief, and then closed everything up again, determined not to show how he was really feeling. And he'd kept Cas at arm's length, not willing to risk the pain of losing him again, no matter how much it hurt both of them to stay distant. Sam could read Dean like a book. Dean was scared. And instead of talking to Cas, he was taking it out on him and Sam was just done.

So Sam had called up Dr. Mia Vallens, the shifter grief counsellor they'd met a while back, and she'd agreed to switch up her portfolio to "couples counsellor" for the day. It wasn't as if they could go to a civilian shrink. They needed to be able to talk openly and Mia was the only person Sam could think of.

First though, he needed to get his brother out of the damned car.

Sam had managed to get them this far, but he was out of ideas for how to actually get Dean up to Mia's apartment. At this point all he could think of was outwaiting him.

But Cas must have decided that he was done, too. Taking a deep breath, he turned in his seat and looked at Dean. That look, that Cas look, where his eyes seemed extra blue and his expression was intense, like he was looking right into you.

"Dean." He said it softly, but that one word seemed to hold all the meaning in the world as Cas said it. Sam watched as Dean closed his eyes, saw some of the fight drain out of him.

When his brother opened his eyes again, they were shiny. But he looked over at Cas, and Sam would swear that they had a conversation, although neither of them said anything.

Then Dean nodded. "Yeah. Okay," he said. And he got out of the car, not sparing a look at Sam, or Cas for that matter. But he stopped at the curb and waited for Cas to get out of the car, and together they walked up to the front door.