Naruto sat under a tree on the empty Training Ground Seven, enjoying the silence. He and his team had been given the next week off to recuperate from their mission. Naruto maintained that it was some of the most fun he'd had since moving permanently to Konohagakure. He found it funny how they showed up in the Hokage's office merely seconds after they'd come in to report.
"The exploits of Team Seven, huh?" Tsunade said, raising a brow expectantly.
The more collected of the two, Shizune looked several years younger after looking upon the face of her beloved younger brother. He could tell that she was taking his absence just as hard as his mother had been. Hell, Tsunade still looked as though she were ready to rampage if it sounded like anything untoward had happened to him specifically.
"All right, Jōnin Kakashi and Team Seven." Hiruzen greeted them professionally, his tone shifting to 'Hokage-Mode'. "Welcome back from your mission. I take it you were successful?"
Kakashi nodded crisply. "Yes, Hokage-sama."
Hiruzen returned the nod. "Full report."
Kakashi launched into the tale of the past month; telling about the attack of Kirigakure's Demon Brothers, Tazuna's plea, the attack from Zabuza, and the final battle, all of which the blonde genin had an active role in. Each word spoken made Hiruzen's brows rise higher, while the pride in the hearts of the two medical kunoichi swelled thicker and thicker. He told of the exploits of the whole team, though remained professional as he omitted the constant dates Sakura had asked Sasuke on, and the constant demands for a fight that Sasuke made to Naruto. Of course, Naruto continually dismissed his teammate as he was too busy helping in the hospital. He flinched when his sensei mentioned his whole getting stabbed deal, but grinned when he mentioned the one-kick victory he held over Zabuza.
"Afterwards, he picked up Zabuza's sword and speared Gato with it. When the clone returned to his side with the impaled corpse, he performed a sealless jutsu that allowed him to release a poison gas from his mouth. Truth be told, the whole final battle was kind of anticlimactic, but he healed Sasuke and Zabuza."
Naruto nodded as the tall man, who now walked with an extremely subtle limp, and the girl who claimed to be his tool entered the Hokage's office. Hiruzen raised a questioning brow as Tsunade and Shizune swapped concerned looks.
"The brat broke my spine with a kick." Zabuza grumbled, as though it pained him to admit. "He healed me after everything was said and done, but asked if I could teach him my Water Prison and Hiding in Mist techniques."
Tsunade guffawed, thinking it was poetic justice in a way; he ran her son through with a sword, only to get spinal tapped in the end. Shizune, on the other hand, at least had the decency to attempt to stifle her laughter with a cough. Needless to say, that made Haku uncomfortable and pissed Zabuza off more than admitting that a kid broke his spine.
Naruto only sighed in relief that his mother didn't try to kill his sensei, Zabuza, or him for the whole getting stabbed incident… unless she was biding her time. Now that was a terrifying thought.
"You've got to be kidding me." said Naruto as he analysed the poison wielded by the Demon Brothers. "That's what I was missing for a neurotoxin formula this entire time?"
He hurriedly unsealed a single notebook flipped to the last page and wrote the chemical makeup, and antidote, and made other notes. He was scribbling away, his pen moving so fast at it was making an audible sound. Needless to say, Naruto was a bit miffed. How had those two mediocre chunin know how to make neurotoxin this potent and he didn't? Though, to be fair, he could've gone to Yamanaka's Flowers and just picked up some neurotoxin from their and analysed it. But then that would have involved him running into Ino, and much like his pink haired teammate, she would not shut up about the blessing from Kami-sama that was Sasuke Uchiha. If he was Kami's gift to the world, he would convert to Jashinism without hesitation.
As if Kami herself wanted to challenge that, his fellow blonde strolled up the where he was situated and sat daintily beside him. She said nothing as he finished filling in the blanks that he left in the notebook, seemingly connecting the dots. Ino took note of the three open textbooks before him and four bowls, each housing a different liquid, or liquid component. With a satisfied sigh, he closed the notebook, and sealed it and the liquid filled bowls in their respective scrolls before doing the same with his textbooks.
"How was your mission?" Ino asked when his blue eyes bore into hers, messing even more with her confusing feelings. "When did you get back?"
"Eh, earlier today." The other blonde shrugged and leaned back. "It was pretty fun, I guess."
Inwardly, he was gushing about how he managed to liquify that one poor bastard's insides with a single punch. It was a satisfying feeling; so much so that he released another self-satisfied sigh, topped with a nice smile. He didn't notice Ino's frown or the way she shifted uncomfortably.
"W-Why didn't you come see me?" she could not believe she actually said that. "I would've liked to know that my friend was back from his mission. You know, the one I didn't know you were on until your sister told me?"
Naruto frowned a bit, but decided to tease her. "What are you, my wife?"
That sent Ino's mind into a frenzy, the poor blonde girl subject to her own imagination conjuring images that were once ruled by Sasuke Uchiha, but were now dominated solely by the rather exotic looking blonde before her. A heated blush painted her cheeks as her eyes glazed over.
The sun had set over Konohagakure, plunging the village into a darkness that was offset by the light of the full moon overhead, as well as the street lamps spread throughout the village. It had been a relaxing day for Ino Senju (née Yamanaka); her beloved husband paid for an all inclusive day of relaxation at the spa for her. She'd gotten a nice deep tissue massage, enjoyed a soak in the hot springs, and even had some crisp and rather expensive champagne. Yes indeed, Ino was the envy of the kunoichi in Konohagakure. She and her husband were known as Konoha's Blonde Power Couple. Neither of them were Kage, but due to the power they wielded, and her husband's position as head of Konoha Hospital, they were greeted as Senju-sama. She loved it, but it irritated her blonde bombshell to no end.
Now at their home in the Senju Compound, Ino ran through everything to make sure it was perfect. After all, such a caring and diligent husband only deserves the best. Eyes alight with the flames of determination, she stripped completely and put on her husband's cooking apron. She purchased it for him a while back for his birthday as a joke; it was garishly pink with purple accents and read 'Kiss the Cook, or No Food.' Of course, since it was from her, the blonde goofball loved it and always wore it. She would pay his levied fee, which for some strange reason always end up with her bending over the kitchen counter (not that she was complaining in the least), and he would make her a mouthwatering dinner complete with dessert.
She'd heard about this somewhat cliche way of greeting one's husband from that damned Forehead-Girl. She had Sasuke and Ino had Naruto, but that damn pinkette would always covertly try to shoehorn in on her happiness. In any case, she'd said that the Uchiha didn't like it. Given how two males were total polar opposites, Ino decided to try her hand at it. Styling her hair in a messy bun, she made her way to the front door and sat on her knees.
Thankfully, she didn't have to wait long. The lock clicked and Naruto walked in with his briefcase in one hand and a bouquet of roses in the other. Ino felt her heart sing; roses were her favorite flower. When his gaze met hers, she rose slowly before sauntering seductively closer to her husband.
"Welcome home, anata." she purred.
His eyes wide, Naruto would set his briefcase down and wrap his arms around Ino's waist while she pressed her body against his. "Thanks, Ino-chan. How was your day?"
"It was wonderful, thanks to you." she said, rubbing a hand across his broad chest and shoulders. "But I have a better question."
"Yeah?" the roses were on top of his briefcase, now forgotten as his hands traversed her bare back and plump rear. "And what would that be?"
"What would you like first? Dinner, a bath… or me?"
Naruto, being ravenous for his wife, would press her roughly against the wall and assault her with his seasoned mouth. She loved it when he was rough. Her blonde pressed white hot kisses to her neck and, after removing the pesky apron, across her bare breasts. Down her taut tummy, until he reached the glistening valley of her-
"Ino!" Naruto gently shook the spaced out blonde, as her nose started bleeding rather heavily. "Ino, come back to me."
Green medical chakra coated his hand as he searched for any sign of damage in her body. He shook his head when he found that there was literally nothing wrong with her, wondering what caused the phenomenon of spontaneous nosebleeds. It was fascinating to the medic in him, since no matter how profusely one bled, it never subtracted from the body's natural amount of blood. In addition to that, there was never any damage done to any of the blood vessels in the nose or head to cause such powerful bursts of spontaneous bleeding. They were common in his Uncle Jiraiya and they only happened when…
'Great,' he groused mentally. 'And here we have another pervert. Hopefully she isn't too pervy around Kaa-chan...otherwise it'll get messy.'
Ino gave a violent twitch before she returned to the present. The bowels of her imagination was a dangerous place to be. Originally, she'd come to see if he wanted to go out sometime or get started on that lesson on poisons he agreed to all that time ago, but her little romp in Imagination Island left her wanting. With a defeated sigh, her pupiless cornflower blue eyes sudden burned with the fire of determination. She had a plan.
"Welcome back to the land of the living." said Naruto in a teasing manner. "Anyway, was there something you wanted or did you just want to hang out."
Ino scoffed. "Whatever, Whiskers. And yes to both questions; I actually wanted to see if you had time to teach me about poisons like you said a while back."
Upon hearing the word 'poison', Naruto's eyes instantly lit up with excitement. He made a movement that could be considered a twitch, but when Ino blinked, they were nearly nose to nose. The female of the blonde duo could compare the heat in her face to an open furnace. She had to admit though, his excitement was rather contagious.
"Do you want to go to the Hospital, the flower shop, your house, or my house?" he asked, barely containing his mounting excitement.
"Uh, your house, I guess." she shrugged.
"An excellent choice!" he said. "My mom and sister are at the hospital, so we'll be alone. No distractions."
With an excited squeal that was completely out of character for this rather masculine genin, he scooped Ino up bridal style and took off in a blur of white and blonde. In his excitement, he missed the fact that Ino resembled a blonde tomato.
Tsunade and Shizune shared a smile as they made the trek back to the Senju compound. It was good to have their little ball of sunshine back in the village. Tsunade had gone on a verbal rampage after Team Seven was dismissed and the former Kiri-Nin were led to T&I where they would be interrogated and detained for roughly seventy-eight hours. She wanted to break the man that dared hurt her little Sochi. Shizune was quiet about it, but she nodded her agreement, her dark eyes hard as she glared at the tall man. There was an itch at the back of her throat that usually came when she wanted to use her signature jutsu and poison someone.
'And she wonders why Naru-chan has the responses he does.' Tsunade thought once the other woman explained why she cleared her throat when she gets riled up.
It was funny how the little blonde resembled the perfect fusion of master and apprentice, with little dashes of Jiraiya and Orochimaru every now and then. Headstrong, but kind hearted. Gentle, but viciously brutal to the point of sadism in battle. Intelligent, but ever thirsty for knowledge. Goofy enough to make anyone underestimate him, but strong enough to make anyone fear him.
Truly, the heir to the Senju was a walking disparity. Tsunade found it rather enchanting to watch the complex being that was her baby boy; a weird way to describe one's child, but whatever, it worked well enough.
"Where do you think otōuto-kun will take us, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked.
The boy said that he would treat them to dinner tonight, but remained secretive when they tried to coax it out of him. Unfortunately, Shizune had already gifted him the book that could've been used as a bargaining chip. The older woman looked thoughtful as they entered their home.
"Probably somewhere with a sake and dango."
"Um...Tsunade-sama?"
"What is it, Shizune?"
The dark haired apprentice to the Sannin pointed at a second pair of shinobi sandals that rested neatly next to the black pair that Naruto wore. In comparison, the other pair was slightly small in size, possibly belonging to a young girl. A furious storm cloud could be the only thing that properly described the murderous look on Tsunade's face. She would be damned if some floozy defiled her son in their own house!
With the rage of a thousand scorned kunoichi and the stealth of the greatest Anbu, both master and apprentice raced silently upstairs. Both prayed that they didn't find the sight they imagined. Otherwise there would be hell to pay, and it would be paid with blood.
Ino was astounded at the home of the Senju family, and more specifically Naruto's bedroom. Even more specifically than that, she was rather impressed with the wealth of knowledge that was held in the boy's room. Three of the four walls in the bedroom were covered completely by bookshelves, each shelf loaded with various subject matters relating to medicine, anatomy, poisons and the like. Scrolls for various jutsus also littered the bookshelves. A good portion of the lower shelves were taken up by notebooks, no doubt holding the knowledge he'd gain from his travels over the years. There was even a couple scrolls that held the Sunagakure symbol on them. Curiously, Ino opened it and read Medical Water Release: Jellyfish.
"You can use Water Release?" she asked.
From his place in a file cabinet sandwiched in between the bookshelves, Naruto made a sound of agreement. "Yeah. Water Release, and Fire Release."
That was beyond impressive. To her knowledge, Asuma-sensei could only use Wind and Fire Release. "How can you find out what type you are?"
Naruto turned to his fellow blonde with an incredulous look on his face. "You don't know what your chakra natures are?"
Embarrassed, Ino shook her head. Naruto walked over to her after stopping by the desk beside the door and grabbed a square piece of paper. Holding it towards the girl, she looked at it then turned her expectant gaze to him. He gestured for her to take it. She did and that was when he started his explanation.
"That is Litmus Paper, a highly conductive paper that reacts differently to the different chakra natures. Go ahead and pour your chakra into it."
Ino did, but what happened next startled her. In a three fold reaction, the paper ignited, then was immediately doused by the paper soaking itself, only for it to crumble into dust afterwards. Ino stared at Naruto dumbfounded. Naruto raised an impressed brow and nodded appreciatively.
"Fire Release, Water Release, and Earth Release." Naruto noted. "Both highly ironic, and would make you training with me extremely easy."
"You'd train with me?" Ino asked. Her teammates were either too lazy or too engrossed in eating to train with her, not that she bothered outside of team meetings. However, she had a plan now.
Naruto nodded with a noncommittal shrug. "Well we're friends, aren't we?"
"Friends don't avoid each other." Ino countered teasingly.
Once again, Naruto shrugged. "Friends also don't blather on about a boy that's little more than an arrogant prick."
Ino scoffed. Deep down, she knew the other blonde was right. "Anyway, do you know how to do any Water Release and Fire Release jutsu?"
"Yeah," he said putting a single notebook and textbook down on his desk, followed by some corked vials of liquid. "But we can do that another time, since you originally came for poisons."
Without another word, Ino sat at the desk while Naruto stood over her. He was so close, she could feel his warmth. It wasn't normal to be so warm, and yet he was. All of a sudden the bedroom door flew off its hinges and crashed through the window. In the doorway stood his voluptuous mother and lithe sister, both carrying the looks of righteous fury on their faces. Ino jumped and squeaked frightened, pressing as close as she could to the only male in the room. Naruto sighed and looked tiredly to the two older women.
"Hi Kaa-chan." he grinned. "Hi Nee-chan."
"Sochi-kun," Tsunade started in a sickly sweet tone. "What is she doing here?"
He looked down to Ino who looked as though she were trying to phase through his chest in order to hide. With a sigh, he detached the younger blonde female from himself and sat her back down.
"Initially, I was going to teach her some stuff about poisons." he admitted.
The change in Shizune was instant as she clambered past her master and planted herself on her little brother's bed, intent on listening to this lesson. Pride was evident on her face. Tsunade shrugged and leaned against the doorframe, waving her hand as though to say 'Continue.' The Senju heir sighed.
"Alright then, let's get started then." he said, rolling his shoulders. "First and foremost, it is wholly inaccurate to label everything in this particular subject as a 'poison'."
"What do you mean?" she asked, her brows furrowed.
"A poison is a toxin that is ingested or administered through contact. Take a mushroom, for example. Some have poisonous spores and are just innately poisonous. They cannot control whether or not they administer their toxins. A venom, on the other hand, is a toxin that is injected directly into a wound. Take for example a spider or snake. They can control whether or not they administer their particular toxin."
Ino nodded. It made sense, though it made her wonder why the whole group was regarded as 'poisons'.
"Now there are many different kinds of toxins, for too many to even begin to name, but I use only four. The first of which is a hallucinogen. Despite my chakra control, I cannot perform genjutsu, which is weird, but I developed my own brand of this toxin when we went to the Genjutsu Tree Village. As the name suggests, it causes the victim see hallucinations, similar to a genjutsu, but with no chakra usage. Follow me so far?"
Ino nodded, clearly fascinated. She couldn't wait to tell her mom and dad about this. "And the other three?"
"Hemotoxin, cytotoxin, and neurotoxin."
"You finally got the complete formula for neurotoxin?" Shizune asked excitedly.
Naruto nodded, sharing her excitement. "I got it after analyzing the gauntlets of the Demon Brothers. I can show it to you if you want!"
Shizune nodded. Oh, it would make paralysing those perverted bastards that've been hitting on her for the last month so damn easy. She'd ask Naruto to help her out with it, but he'd more than likely kill the poor bastards. They didn't need that kind of problem on their hands.
"Anyway, a hemotoxin effects the blood. More specifically, it attacks red blood cells and causes blood to coagulate."
To prove his point, Naruto poured a vial of blood in a small glass dish. After swishing it around, he grabbed a vial of red liquid and administered a drop or two. The effect was almost immediate. The blood turned darker, and when Naruto swirled it in the bowl, it was not as free flowing as it once was, but moved as though it were a crimson ball. It made Ino sick, but as a shinobi, she'd more than likely see worse. She stomach dropped just thinking about it. Naruto noticed his mother stiffen and quickly tossed the whole bowl through his broken window. He gave her an apologetic look, and she smiled reassuringly.
"Cytotoxin works on the cellular level, destroying cell membrane and the cells of the body themselves, one by one. This eventually causes necrosis."
Ino cocked her head to the side and Naruto had to resist the urge to glomp the poor girl. "Necrosis?"
"The death of all or most of the cells in an organ or tissue." Shizune translated, smiling at her brother's pout. "Basically, the affected areas turn black and are effectively dead."
"Yeah. And the last one is neurotoxin, which attacks the central nervous system. This in and of itself causes paralysis, respiratory failure, and death. Which means, if you use it on an enemy, you would have to keep them stabilized if you needed to bring the, back for interrogation."
Ino nodded, her mind reeling with the information she'd just been fed. Naruto rested a hand on her shoulder and assured her that they would talk about it more in depth another time. For the time being, however, he let her borrow his copy of Beginner's Book of Poisons, vol. 1. The text was well worn, as though the own had read it thoroughly and many times. He did, of course, but what did anyone expect of him?
For the next few hours, Shizune and Tsunade had to smile as the ball of sunshine held his fellow blonde captive as he started with the most basic of the toxins he possessed, which was the hallucinogen. When the Yamanaka heiress left later, she felt the strangest urge to run to her family's store and take stock of the toxins they had. In all of the excitement of actually learning something, she'd forgotten all about the plan she'd come up with. Before she left, she made Naruto promise that they would get together tomorrow, maybe train or grab lunch. Or both!
He agreed, but told her that she should probably get some sleep. The Senju heir had a sinking feeling that something strange was going to happen tomorrow, but he didn't know what.