I gave Soda an old 'song and dance' about how I'd gotten hot while I was walking, and tied my shirt up so as to be cooler.
He gave me a look that suggested that I was full of it, but he didn't call me out. On that, at least.
When we got home, I untied my shirt before I forgot again. I didn't want Two-Bit teasing, or Darry asking me about it.
So, it surprised me when Soda started in on me when I went into the kitchen. He had started pulling out pans and searching
thru the cabinets.
"In search of the next great Curtis meal?" I asked him, jokingly.
"Yeah. You can set the table," he said.
"Okay," I said, agreeably, and went to pull down plates from the cabinet.
"You shouldn't have been walkin' alone like that," Soda said, as he began making hamburger patties to put on
the griddle.
"Rhonda wasn't wanting to leave yet," I told him.
"How come?"
I paused in my task of laying around plates at the spots at the table. "She just wasn't. She wanted to talk to
some people."
"Yeah. But, you went down there together. So, you should have left together."
"So, I should have stayed until she was ready to leave?" I countered, in challenge. "Then I would have been
even later, and you would have had to drive all the way to the drug store to pick me up-"
"I would rather have done that, than to have you walkin' alone," Soda said. He paused in flattening the patties
with the metal spatula he was holding.
"Okay," I said, and went back to my table setting.
"Okay, what?"
I turned, again, to look at him. "Okay, Soda. I get what you're sayin'."
Our gazes met for a long moment, and then he began flattening the hamburgers again.
"I don't think Rhonda's the best friend for ya to have," Soda said, sort of slowly.
Okay, now, he had my full attention. I gave up any pretense of setting the table and put the plates down
with a snap. Going to stand beside him near the stove, I said, "How come you're raggin' on Rhonda all of a sudden?"
"I just think she's ready for some stuff that ya aren't," Soda said.
He was so close to the truth that I felt my face get all hot.
"Rhonda's never done nothin' to you," I said, and I knew it was a childish comeback. "Except to like ya. And now,
you're sayin' she's a bad girl-"
"I'm not sayin' that-I just don't want ya to get into stuff you're not prepared for."
"So-maybe I should get prepared for some of that stuff then, huh, Soda?" I challenged. Foolishly.
"What's that sposed to mean?" he asked, turning to face me, and putting his hands on his hips.
I met his eyes alright, but then I decided to shut up.
"Nothin'," I said. "Nothin' at all!" I turned and headed towards the back door. For the first time I noticed Pony standing in
the doorway of the kitchen, from the living room. His mouth was open and his eyes were all wide, from listening to
me and Soda scrap.
I was out the back door, and I gave it a fling so that it would slam shut.
"Junie, come back here," I heard Soda hollering out at me.
"Pony can set the table!" I yelled back.
I stomped across the back yard, past the barbeque and the picnic table, and scrambled up into the tree house. I hadn't been
up here for ages. There was still some blankets and old soda cans strewn around. I kicked some of the stuff aside and sat, cross-legged,
and trying to take deep breaths.
I'm not sure how much time went by before I heard Soda's voice at the bottom of the tree.
"Junie, come on down." Said sort of quietly, not angrily.
I sat where I was, my knees tucked up to my chest.
I thought he might give up and go back inside, but he didn't. I heard the ladder creaking as he made his way up.
His head appeared at the opening to the main floor, and he came up another step or so, and I could see him from the
shoulders up.
At first he didn't say anything. I avoided looking directly at him, but I knew he was looking at me.
"Ya can't get upset and tear off every time somebody says somethin' that you don't like," Soda said.
I didn't say anything, and he sighed, coming up the rest of the ladder rungs, and thru the opening, walking around
a bit before he pulled an old chair away from the wall, and sat down in it.
"Let's talk," he said.
"Let's not," I countered.
"I think we sort of need to, though," Soda said.
"We talked already. You don't think I should hang around Rhonda." I looked up to give him a piercing gaze. "Well, in
case you haven't noticed, Soda, I don't exactly have that many friends! It's not as though kids from my class are
knocking on the door, wantin' me to hang out! So, if I don't hang around with Rhonda-well, then-" I held up my hands
in explanation.
"Aw, Junie," Soda said, his voice gentle and sympathetic.
I looked away again, wishing I wasn't so darned emotional lately.
"I just worry 'bout ya," Soda said. "Rhonda's folks don't keep a real good eye on her, I don't think, and I've been hearin'
things-"
When he let his voice trail off and stopped talking, I looked at him.
"What have you been hearin'?" I asked.
Soda shrugged. "Just talk. She's datin' some older guy."
"She might be talkin' to somebody, but I don't think she's exactly dating him," I pointed out.
"You know what I mean, Junie."
I did, indeed, know what he meant. And, I knew who that older guy was, too.
"She's gonna want ya to start goin' along with her one of these days, and I don't want ya around older guys like
that. It'd be a bad thing for ya," Soda went on, oblivious to the fact that he was describing my afternoon to a tee.
I felt my face flush all hot. In guilt, most likely.
"You don't have to worry," I said. "I wouldn't fit into somethin' like that. I'm too awkward, and I-" I hesitated. "I wouldn't
know what to do, or how to act. Or anything."
I'd shocked Soda. I could tell. His eyes widened, but before he could say anything, we heard Pony at the base of the tree.
"Hey, Soda, the burgers are finished," Pony called up. "What else you want me to make to go with?"
"See if there's any potato salad left," Soda called back down, never taking his eyes off of my face. "If not, put in some fries."
"Yeah. Okay," Pony said.
After we knew that Pony had gone again, Soda said, "What do ya mean, you wouldn't know what to do?"
"I just wouldn't, Soda. I'm not like other girls," I said flatly.
"You're thirteen, Junie. You're not supposed to know what to do with older guys," Soda said.
I shrugged, and looked away. His blue eyes were too intense.
After a moment or so of uncomfortable silence, Soda asked, "Junie, has somethin' happened already? Have you been
out with some of the guys that Rhonda knows?"
I swept my eyes back to his. To that worried, tense expression on his face. I could see that Soda was conjuring up
all sorts of things in his mind-
"No!" I said, swiftly. "No, Soda! I haven't done anything-"
"That's what this afternoon was about," he determined. Correctly. "Wasn't it?" He was looking more intense by the moment. Grim.
I sighed. Soda should, I thought, go into some sort of undercover work, where he could force criminals to confess their misdeeds. Except that's
not exactly the sort of career path that would fit a greaser. Usually, it's the greasers who get pressured to confess.
"All I did was sit in a booth, and have a Coke," I said. "I didn't do anything."
"How many of them were there?" he asked.
"Three. And one of them was Two-Bit's cousin. Pete."
If I'd thought that mentioning Two-Bit's cousin might appease Soda somewhat, I would have been wrong.
"How come ya lied to me?" he asked then. Really quietly.
"I didn't lie, Soda-"
"When ya said you were goin' down there to have a Coke, you didn't say a word about meetin' up with guys," Soda said.
"I didn't know we were gonna actually meet up with them! I didn't lie!"
"How about when I picked ya up walkin'? Why didn't ya tell me then?"
"Because-I felt stupid, and mixed up! You would have just gotten mad, anyway."
When he was silent, just fixing that intense look onto me, I bristled.
"I didn't do anything, Soda! And I'm not sposed to talk to you about everything, you know! Sisters don't tell their
brothers everything!"
"Maybe most sisters and brothers don't have to," Soda said. "It's not like that with us, Junie, and you know that. It's just
the four of us. Darry and me have to know more about Pony and you than we would if-" he paused in his talking.
Of course. More than they would have to if our parents hadn't been killed.
"I knew it sucked for Darry. I guess it really sucks for you, too, doesn't it?" I said. "Having to take care of
me and Pony?"
"Junie-"
"I mean, other guys your age don't have to worry about their younger siblings-"
"Junie, stop," Soda ordered. "You're gettin' off the track of what we're supposed to be talkin' about." He sighed a little. "Yeah,
it's different for our family, and yeah, sometimes it's hard, lookin' after you and Pony. That's the truth of it. But, it's a lot harder
for Darry than it is for me."
Into the silence he said, "Even if it's hard sometimes, I know Darry can handle it. And, I don't wanna let him down, so
I try to do my part."
"You both do a good job," I said.
He gave me a half-smile. "Thanks. But, you gotta understand that you can't keep stuff, like important stuff, to yourself.
Stuff that might get ya into trouble, that stuff has to come to me. Or to Darry."
"Okay. I get it," I said.
"Maybe ya didn't lie to me, exactly, but ya weren't truthful, either," Soda went on. "What if they'd left the drugstore. and
wanted ya to go with them? What would ya have done then?"
"Just what I did," I said. "I said 'no', and started walkin' back to Buck's to meet up with you."
At Soda's 'oh crap' look, I said, "I knew better than to do that."
"I'm glad about that, at least," he said, still looking stunned. "It just doesn't seem like ya should be old enough-to
be havin' guys after ya."
"It's not like that, Soda. I told you, I'm awkward. You don't need to worry. At least for awhile." I gave him a half-smile,
but he didn't smile back.
"I should ground ya or somethin'," he said, then.
"What? Why?" I asked, feeling upset. "I'm tellin' you all of this-and I didn't really have to do that! I'm being honest-why
should I be grounded?"
"Because-" he hesitated, looking considering. "Well, it just seems like ya should be grounded for some part of it."
I immediately felt my upset and all that slip away. I looked at Soda, feeling tenderness. Poor Soda, he really did
try. I knew that the whole 'parenting' thing had to be really tough on him. And on Darry. Only Darry didn't seem to
have such a hard time with it.
"If ya say I can still hang out with Rhonda, I promise I won't go if she's gonna be meetin' up with those guys. And, I won't
walk alone from downtown like that anymore. And-" I paused to think. "I won't slam the back door or walk off when
you're still talkin' to me. If I don't do any of those things, maybe ya wouldn't have to ground me, huh?"
The look of relief on Soda's face at my promises would have been funny. It actually was funny. But, I hid my smile at
his relief that he wouldn't have to ground me after all.
"Well, yeah," he said. "I guess if you promise all of that, then I won't have to ground ya this time." I could tell he was still
trying to sound 'tough' to me.
So, I decided not to let him know I was wise to just how relieved that he actually was.
Outsiders