Once Soda and I were inside, we could hear cabinet doors banging in the kitchen. I tried to free my hand from Soda's grasp, but

he held tight.

"I'm goin' to my room," I said.

"Naw, let's go to the kitchen," Soda said.

"Let me go to my room, Soda. Please?" I begged.

"You can help me fix some supper," Soda said, and tugged me after him. I'd expected to see Darry in the kitchen, but

only Ponyboy was there.

"I'm tryin' to figure out supper," Pony said.

"I'll cook," Soda said. "How about meatloaf?"

Pony looked relieved. "Meatloaf? That sounds great."

"Okay," Soda said. "Get some hamburger out of the freezer, Pony."

I wondered, but wasn't going to ask, but Soda did ask.

"Where's Darry?" he asked Pony.

Pony nodded towards the back door. "Out back," he said.

As Soda set about getting out the ingredients for the meatloaf, I went to the screen to look out in the back yard. I could see

Darry out there. He was sitting in one of the yard chairs. His back was to the house, so he didn't see me watching him.

Soda appeared behind me, to look out, too.

"He's so mad, Soda," I said.

"He's be alright," Soda said. "He's just gettin' his mind straight."

"What did he say, Pony?" I asked, still looking out at Darry. "Before he went out there?"

"Not much," Pony said. "He told me to fix somethin' for supper, and then he went out there."

Soda went to the stove, and began defrosting the hamburger meat.

I heard him tell Pony to start peeling some potatoes.

"We gonna have mashed potatoes, too?" Pony asked, sounding hopeful.

"Yep," Soda said. "Junie, make a salad."

"Okay," I said, but I stood where I was, still watching Darry.

"Now, Junie. Come on," Soda said. I left my position at the door and went to the refrigerator, taking out lettuce and

tomatoes. I stood at the counter, chopping the lettuce and tomatoes, and tossing it all into our big wooden salad bowl.

The more time that passed, the more worried I got. Darry didn't come in. He just sat out there.

Soda had the meatloaf made and in the oven, baking. The potatoes were in a pot of boiling water.

"Those are gonna be ready to mash soon," Soda said. "Keep an eye on 'em." He went to the refrigerator, and took out

two bottles of beer, and grabbed an opener.

"You goin' out there?" Pony asked, looking up from where he was sitting at the table, reading a book.

"Yeah."

"Could I come out with ya?" I asked. "Maybe?"

Soda paused to study me. "Naw, Junie. Let me talk to him first."

"Okay," I said, nearly in nothing but a whisper.

"It's just for the best-to let me talk to him first," Soda said. I knew he felt bad for telling me that.

"I know," I admitted.

I stood at the back door again, watching now as Soda walked out to where Darry sat. He handed one of the beers off to

Darry, and then sat in another chair alongside of Darry. I watched for a long time, it seemed like. They didn't move, except to

lift the beers to their mouths.

"Soda will help," Pony said.

I didn't move. I pressed my fingers against the screen. "I hope," I said.

I could hear Ponyboy, as he drained the potatoes, and began mashing them.

He added milk and butter to them and put a cover over to keep them hot. The smell of the meatloaf was filling the

kitchen.

"You mad at me, Pony?" I asked.

He didn't say anything at first, and I looked over at him, where he stood at the stove.

"It's cause of me we gotta have more visits from social services again," I said. "I know ya hate the visits."

"Yeah. I hate 'em," he said.

He took down plates and began setting them around the table.

"So, are ya mad at me?" I asked again.

Pony shrugged. "I guess not. I know ya didn't mean for it to happen."

I turned to look out the screen again.

"I think the meatloaf's almost done," Pony said, opening the oven door and peering in. He went to the door and

called out. "Almost time to eat!"

I moved away from the door then. I didn't want to be seen standing there, watching. I went to take down glasses

and then got out milk, pouring milk into all four of the glasses.

That's what I was doing, when Soda and Darry came in. I flicked a glance at Darry. He looked-well, alright. He looked alright. I

couldn't tell if he was still as angry as he had been. He didn't say anything. He sat down as Pony took the meatloaf out of

the oven with hot pads and set it in the center of the table. Soda set the pot of mashed potatoes on the table, too, and

I brought the salad over.

We all sat down in our own places.

"Smells good," Darry said.

"Who'd figure Two-Bit would miss a meal like this, huh?" Pony said.

After that, we all began to eat. Pony asked Darry a couple of things about work, about the two jobs he'd been trying

to finish. Darry talked about all of that in his regular way. I ate my supper, and kept my eyes from going to the right to where he

sat.

Mid-way thru the meal, Two-Bit came thru the living room, hollering out, "Curtis's!"

"In here!" Pony yelled back.

Two-Bit appeared in the kitchen. "Damn," he said, looking over the table. "That's a fine meal right there-"

"You know where the plates are," Darry told him.

Two-Bit grabbed a plate and sat down, loading it with food. I was glad Two-Bit had showed up. It seemed to lighten things

up a little.

After everybody was done, I started running hot water into the sink for the dishes. Two-Bit was cramming a piece of meatloaf

between two slices of bread. "Meatloaf sandwich," he said, taking a big bite.

Darry was scooting his chair up to the table. He went to the refrigerator and took out another bottle of beer.

"Pony, can you and Two-Bit do the dishes?" he asked.

"Yeah," Pony said.

Darry went to the screen and half-pushed it open, looking back over at me. "Come on outside. I wanna talk to ya."

I took my hands out of the hot, soapy water, and wiped them on my jeans. "K," I said, looking at him only half-way.

Darry had gone out already, and I followed him across the yard. He sat down in the same yard chair he'd been sitting in before, and

I sat down on the seat of the picnic table.

Darry took a long drink of his beer, and then lowered the bottle, letting it rest on his knee.

"What happened today-it wasn't any good," Darry said. He was giving me that intense gaze of his.

"I let ya down," I said.

"Yeah. You did," he said, in agreement. "I'm not talkin' about the chores ya didn't do, though. I'm thinkin' about

ya takin' off-none of us knowin' where ya were. And then, ya smell like grass when ya do come home."

"I didn't, though, Darry. I swear I didn't-" I said.

"Okay. I believe ya."

"Ya do?" I asked, feeling hopeful for the first time all afternoon.

"Yeah."

I nearly gave Darry a grateful smile at that. The desire to smile at him faded away, though, because he

began up again.

"Bein' unfindable is not okay, June Marie. Ya can't just blow off what I've set down for ya," he said.

"I'll get permission, real permission, next time I go somewhere-" I promised.

"Yeah," he said. "Ya will." That was it, but the stern tone of his voice and his expression combined as he said it, made my

stomach do a drop.

"No worry on that for a bit, though," he went on. "For the next two weeks you're grounded. Ya don't go further than the

yard unless you're with me or Soda. Understood?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I felt my face get hot as he gave me that intense 'Darry' look.

There was a moment or so of silence. Darry took a drink of his beer, and let his eyes wander towards the Oak tree.

"Why is Mrs. Richards gonna come more often again?" I asked, quietly.

Darry's gaze came back to me. "I told ya before-she thinks she should, that's all."

"It's because of me," I said. I was certain of it.

"You're takin' the credit for it, huh," Darry said, lightly. It was the first time in the whole afternoon that he'd even shown

a crack in his 'furious-paternal-like' demeanor. I should have taken it and 'run with it' in relief, but I just couldn't.

"Things were goin' so good," I said, in discouragement. "Probably we were almost to the point where we would have

been done with havin' her come at all-and now she's gonna be comin' more and not less."

"Quit," he said, and he sounded furious again. I subsided, and looked at him warily.

"You messed up today-and you're bein' punished for it. What Mrs. Richard's reasons are-are just that. Her reasons. You don't

need to take the blame for it. She thinks-" he paused.

"She thinks-what, Darry?" I asked.

"She thinks you ought to take some classes at the YMCA. Pony, too."

"What kind of classes?" I asked, again wary.

"There's all kinds of things-swimmin', art, some kind of creative writing thing-"

I stood up, horrified. "That's stupid, Darry! I don't want to take any classes at the YMCA! And Pony won't want to, either!"

Darry regarded me with those blue-green eyes that could make a grown man back down.

"Sit down," he ordered.

I sat down again.

"Mrs. Richards thinks it would be good for the both of ya," Darry continued. "Sign-ups are next week sometime."

I crossed my arms in silent protest.

"I told her that you'd both go down there, and check out what's bein' offered," Darry said.

"I can stay busy around here," I said. "I don't need to fill my time with classes!"

"I don't want any lip about it," Darry said. "You're both gonna go. I gave her my word."

I silently protested a moment or so longer, and then I sighed, uncrossing my arms, and becoming resigned.

"K," I said.

We sat there for a bit longer, but neither one of us said anything for a while.

Outsiders

The boys went to the store, and bought a watermelon, bringing it home and spreading out a towel over

the kitchen table, slicing it up. After my talk with Darry in the back yard, I'd gone to my bedroom, and stayed there.

I didn't even turn on my radio. I just laid on my bed, reading.

There was a rapping on my door, and it opened.

"Come on, Junie, we're havin' the watermelon," Soda told me.

"I don't want any watermelon," I said.

Soda came over and plopped down on my bed, practically making me bounce up.

"How come you're sittin' in here, poutin'?" he asked, direct-like.

"I'm not poutin'," I denied.

"Looks like it to me," he said, and grinned.

"I'm not. I just-wanna stay out of the way," I said.

"Didn't ya talk things out with Darry?" he demanded.

"Yeah. Sort of. I still feel like he's mad, though," I said.

"Junie-" Soda said, as if he was gonna start scolding.

"And now, Pony and I hafta take stupid classes at the YMCA," I said.

"The classes might not be so bad," Soda said.

I laid my book aside and sat up beside Soda. "You already knew about them, didn't ya?" I asked, eyeing him

suspiciously.

"Maybe so," he said.

"How would you feel?" I asked. "If you were the one who had to take classes down there-"

Soda held up a hand. "Ah, but see, it's not me. It's you. And Pony."

He grinned at me again. It's hard to resist that smile of his.

"Think you're funny," I told him.

"I know I am," Soda said. "Come and have some watermelon."

Outsiders

I went out to the kitchen, and sat at the table, and ate my piece of watermelon. Steve had showed up and so the table

was full with all the boys. As soon as I'd finished, though, I got up to go and throw the rind in the trash can, and then

I went back thru the living room, and to my room again.

I came out to take a shower, but that was all. It took me an extra long time to wash out my hair. I wanted to make

sure all the smell from Charlene's grass was gone.

I fell asleep, even with all the noise the boys were making. When I woke up, the room was pitch black, and I was

wet with sweat. I'd been having a bad dream. My mother had been in the dream. She'd been silent, but standing and

frowning at me as if she were angry. I'd tried to talk to her, but she shook her head and then disappeared. Mrs. Richards was

there, too, and she didn't talk, either. She was pointing to a house that I didn't recognize, and there were all these kids

running in and out of it. Girls of all ages. Even in my dream I knew it was a girl's home of some sort. Foster care.

I woke up, and sat on the edge of the bed. I could feel my heart sort of pounding, as if the dream had been real.

I went out and thru the living room, and to the kitchen. I paused in the doorway, startled at the sight of Darry, sitting

at the kitchen table. There was a glass of milk sitting in front of him, and he only had on the one little light over the sink, leaving the

room half-dark.

He looked up at me. "Hey."

"Hey," I answered. I went around his chair and to the refrigerator, taking out the carton of milk. I took down a glass and

began pouring.

"What are you doin' up?" he asked me.

I closed the carton of milk. "I had a bad dream," I admitted. I went to put the carton back in the refrigerator.

I went to sit down at the table, too.

"You can't sleep?" I asked him.

"Not so well tonight," he said.

We sipped at our milk in the quiet for a few minutes.

"So, bad dream, huh?" Darry asked.

"Yeah."

"You havin' them a lot?" he asked, sounding concerned.

"No. Not for a long time, until tonight."

Just thinking about it made me feel all upset again. I set my glass down, shaking a little, and some of the milk sloshed out.

"Uh oh," I said, and got up, going to get a dishcloth, and wiping up the bit of milk.

When I'd done that, I went to hang the dishcloth over the faucet at the sink. Standing there, Darry reached out for

my hand. It surprised me. I looked down at him in the semi-darkness.

"Dream's bad enough to make ya tremble that way, huh?" he asked, quietly.

I didn't deny it. I just stood there, quietly, letting him hold my hand.

"Aw, Junie," Darry said, then. "Comere." He gave my hand a light tug, and pulled me to him, sitting me on

his knee. He wrapped his arms around me, and we sat that way, in silence, for a few wonderful minutes.

Darry's not very demonstrative generally. He doesn't pass out hugs like candy at Halloween. It had been a long time, a long, long, time,

since I'd sat on his knee like this, with his arms around me. I sort of thought that I was too old for it, but at this particular moment, I

surely was not going to say that. It was nice. After my bad dream, and also after the terrible afternoon we'd had. Sitting like this,

it didn't seem as though Darry was angry with me any longer. And, I was relishing that, let me tell ya. I hated bein' on Darry's

bad side. This was way better.

"Do ya wanna tell me about your dream?" he asked.

"Mom was in it. She didn't say anything, but it seemed like she was mad at me. And, Mrs. Richards was there. I think she was

takin' me to a girl's home," I said.

"Dreams are rough sometime, but it wasn't real," he said.

"It could be real, though. If I keep messin' up," I said.

"No, Junie," he said, and he said it so definitely that I lifted my head off his shoulder to look at him. "Nothin' like that is

gonna happen to ya. Or to Ponyboy, neither. I won't let it happen."

And, the thing was, Darry made it sound like the absolute truth. He was believable.

"Okay," I said.

"I don't want ya smokin' grass, Junie," he said, then. "Not ever. Nor cigarettes, neither."

"I won't. I promise," I said.

"Okay."

After a moment, I said, feeling weepy, "I'm awful sorry about today, Darry!"

"I know ya are." He sighed. "I shouldn't oughta have yelled at ya like I did."

"It's okay," I said. I figured that Darry should be let off the hook, too.

We surveyed one another for a couple of moments, and then he said, "Think ya can sleep now?"

I nodded. "I think so. Do you think you can?"

"Think so," he said.

I thought for a moment, and then said, "Darry?"

"What?"

"Would ya ever really spank me? Like ya said today?" I'd been wondering all afternoon if he'd been serious. I mean, he'd sounded for sure

serious, but I wondered.

He hesitated, and then said, "Am I ever gonna have to?"

Well, that was answer enough. I felt my face get sort of warm, but I don't think he could see it in the part-dark.

"No," I said. "You won't have to."

Outsiders