Two long weeks, three days, fifteen hours, twenty-one minutes and ten seconds. That how long it took for me to accept that there was no way on God's green earth that I could, or even wanted to, leave Bella alone.
Edward was leaving, for two glorious days and Bella was to be left in my care, along with the dubious protection of Alice...who was sulking because she wasn't going with our family on their annual trip. Bella wanted to stay, I knew this even though she had pled prettily with Edward to let her go with him. Her emotions were a curious blend of untruthfulness, eagerness, shame and determination.
Oh yes, something would be going down over the next few days but even I wasn't certain of what it would be. My control, such that it was had been stretched taut and was close to breaking point.
My stone flesh ached to be inside Bella, deep, deep inside. Part of her, moving with her, always beside her.
Every glance she gave me fuelled the fire inside me, every minute I wasn't with her, bonded and thrusting into her sweet depths, was a moment I'd wasted.
My existence had ceased to be about me, it was all just about her.
Bella Swan had officially driven me insane.
I yearned to show her what ecstasy was and I wanted to teach her just how amazing it could be for us if we were together and emotionally bonded at the same time.
Nirvana.
Manna from the heavens couldn't taste as sweet I was sure.
I tried to focus on my lust for her flesh alone, but my vast mind wouldn't allow me to escape the inevitable outcome of me touching her so intimately. Just thinking about her vanilla scent made my teeth lengthen and prick my lip.
My teeth would slice so easily through her thin skin, velvet soft and sweet tasting, it would be heaven on this earth to be bonded with her thus, in the most primal of ways. But I knew that wouldn't be able to stop once I'd tasted her essence, so the only option was to change her into an immortal. For I would not kill her, never that, my whole being recoiled from such an outcome. I found I couldn't bear to be without her scent or the sound of her soft, husky voice - which was always somewhat breathless when she was talking to me.
But if I took her Edward would never forgive me and Alice might see Bella's future alter, even though she couldn't read Bella's future directly, any out come that would alter Edwards future would be apparent to her immediately.
I watched Bella's face as Edward made ready to leave and she ignored me completely. An outsider would never have known that every one of her senses were trained on me, but I could sense it because every one of my considerable senses was trained on her too. I'd never been so hyper aware of anyone in my existence and beyond even into my human life.
Alice pouted as she said goodbye and I sensed her heavy heart weighed down with duty.
This was the opportunity I had been waiting for.
"Go, Ally," I said. Facing her lovely little face with a genuine smile. "I can manage to watch the human alone for two days - without tying to eat her." I joked.
Bella rolled her expressive eyes at my comment a tiny smile curving her lips, her eyes avoiding contact with mine. "Yes, go Alice. I don't need more than one baby sitter. I know you want to go, so go!"
Alice watched me as her mind searched for possible outcomes bound by my decision. As always I cloaked my true feelings with projected and totally false angst. Within a second Alice smiled at me brightly, her emotions calm. "Okay. But if you need me just call, I'll be back in a flash."
"So will I." Edward said leaning in to kiss Bella.
"As if you wouldn't see the moment something went wrong." I joked. "Besides how much trouble could one small girl be?"
Alice smiled at me as she lifted her face for my kiss. I did as was expected of me and placed a soft brotherly kiss onto her smooth cold forehead.
"Take care of my Bella," Edward said as he slapped me on the back good naturedly.
I nodded once and we watched as they vanished into the forest as silently as wraiths.
Bella stood beside me, her arms crossed protectively around her self, still ignoring me.
I grinned at her solemn profile.
"So what shall we do now, darlin'?" I asked softly, half joking, more than a little serious.
I wanted this human beside me more than anything I could ever remember wanting, even the need for blood paled into insignificance beside her allure.
A shudder shook her softly rounded shoulders as the wind lifted her long thick hair, before it tossed it playfully around her face. A few strands of it caught on her glossed lips. She grimaced slightly and tugged the wayward strands free, as she bit down nervously on that lower lip.
I watched each of her reactions with every fibre of my being, studying every one of her mannerisms and emotions.
"Jasper..." she said, her tone almost pleading and husky. "I need...I want...oh God, I don't know what I want.. The only thing I do know is that this...thing...between us... is so wrong!" Still she wouldn't look at me. "I don't want to hurt him..."
She didn't have to elaborate for me to know whom she meant.
I knew only too well that what we were doing was wrong. But I had no desire to put a stop to it as I knew I should, I was after all the eldest and I should know better.
But the pull I felt towards Bella was too strong and getting stronger by the moment.
Bella turned away from me with a dejected sigh, trying to ignore me.
I would have to remedy that.
"Bella...let's... go and do something...something different...lets go swimming." I said unexpectedly, enjoying the gasp of surprise which I knew would follow my strange suggestion.
I had never chosen to do anything with her.
This was a first.
But I knew that she wouldn't refuse me.
That damnable need for us both to be in close proximity to the other was irresistible.
After much preparation - on her part - we made our way through the forest towards a river I knew ran it's course within our territory. It had many large pools perfect for swimming for a human. It's was sunny today, a rare opportunity for those of us who lived in forks to enjoy the warmth.
The largest pool was a natural Jacuzzi, water churning around roughly between the rocks and ferns.
I doubted my own sanity when Bella stepped forward eagerly and dropped the wrap which had been slung around her hips. Standing there in only a t-shirt and a barely there bikini bottom, hair blowing in the breeze, she made a stunning picture.
Slowly she raised her arms and pulled off her white t-shirt revealing the rest of her skimpy black bikini. The shirt fluttered to the forest floor, forgotten, as she waded into the pool, a nervous giggle leaving her lips as her warm skin touched they icy water.
I couldn't take my eyes off of her which I knew was the first mistake of many I was about to make.
Fuck me, she was just so goddamn edible.
Rounded limbs, gently curved hips and a tiny waist, were the start of the vast array of perfection this girl possessed. Her breasts were full and a perfect the fit for my hands, the thought of cupping them made my teeth grow in an instant.
Bella eyed me, warm, chocolate brown orbs wary. Her emotions were filled with desire, fear, shyness and huge amount of excitement. It was a heady cocktail of emotions and it made me growl low and deep.
I had spent my existence fighting wars and amassing a huge amount of knowledge, of women in particular. I had never tried to share that knowledge before.
But I wanted to teach Bella everything I knew, I wanted to show her how I could make her feel with my particular gifts.
A slow smile lifted my lips as I gazed at her, my admiration for her clear. A steady flush of warm scented blood flooded her cheeks as she dropped her eyes.
I decided honesty was the best way between us. "You are so fucking beautiful, darlin', forgive me for staring." I said softly.
I watched hopelessly fascinated as Bella blushed even more and turned her eyes away from mine as she bit down on that bee stung lower lip.
Her heart was racing as wildly as if she'd been running a race, fragrant blood pulsing beneath her soft skin.
"Why do you call me darling?" She asked at last, genuine curiosity filling her as she searched for a subject to distract me. "You never call Alice darling, only me, why?"
I crouched down beside the pool, my eyes never leaving her perfect face.
"Are you sure you want to know why?" I asked playfully. "because once you know why I call you darlin', there's no going back."
She raised her chin defiantly. "I want to know."
"I call you darlin' because you are the only person, human or immortal, who is as dear to me as you are."
Her breath hitched and caught in her throat, wide doe eyes searching mine almost desperately.
I felt her nerves take over as her mind was reflected in her gaze. She wanted me to touch her; I knew it as surely as if she'd whispered her needs in my ear.
"Kiss me." She whispered so softly a human wouldn't have heard her plea.
I wanted to so badly, and yet I'd never kissed a human before with desire such as this. This wild thing between us could spell disaster for us both. I didn't want to hurt her, but I could break her into pieces without meaning to.
I didn't reply, instead I stood up and let my hands drop to my belt. Bella's beautiful eyes widened as I grinned at her shock, without words I silently pulled off my jeans and shirt, revealing board shorts and all my numerous scars.
I knew that I was appealing to her as her breaths became laboured and the heady aroma of her arousal filled the air.
I dived into the pool and surfaced slowly, directly in front of her. Bella's hands lifted and hesitated mid air as I was flooded by a need so intense it melted my stone insides.
She wanted to touch me.
Under the water, I let my hands encircle her waist, a sudden surge of pure unadulterated pleasure rippled through us both at the intimate contact. Without words I pulled her closer to me, soft warm curves melting it my cold hard body like poetry in motion, like it was meant to be.
Like we were meant to be like this.
Close up I examined every feature on her lovely face, each droplet of water clinging to her skin and the delicious curve of those full lips. Her eyes were as dark as mine, irises wide and shy as she gazed up at me.
At last her tiny hands came to rest on my shoulders and I couldn't help the growl which escaped me.
I couldn't help myself.
"Come here Darlin', I need to taste you."
Her face lifted to mine and I leaned down to her. Our lips met and clung and the next moment we were kissing, deep and passionate, with no delicate start. We went at each other immediately, like we were starving and we were each others sustenance, air and water all rolled into one.
I tried to restrain myself, even though all I wanted was to devour her, quite literally.
Hesitantly her tongue joined mine, and I rewarded her with an even deeper kiss which made her body shake against mine.
I sought out our bond, and reopened the connection between us.
It was warm red velvet, welcoming and sweet like my memory of warm red wine.
Bella cried out as the tidal force of my feelings hit her, on top of her own.
It was phenomenal. Like a tsunami hitting the shoreline...earth shattering.
Bella's tiny hands wrapped themselves into my hair, fingers tangling delightfully, pulling me closer still.
As easily as breathing, her shapely legs lifted and locked around my hips, the heat of her flesh burning my straining cock right through the fabric between us.
Right and wrong had ceased to have meaning.
Nothing mattered but Bella and the sensation of our mouths moving together and the connection between us, looping our emotions and pleasure back between us over and over again. I felt drunk on our pleasure, a heady feeling I hadn't experienced since I'd become immortal.
Bella was blissed out and unaware that she was bleeding, her tongue and lips having been cut on my teeth as we kissed.
It's was inevitable and my inner monster grinned in pleasure. She tasted so sweet, her blood bringing to life in me the need to drain her dry, careless of the cost.
My hands cupped her full breasts, my fingers plucking at her taut nipples.
Bella moved against me with each tug of my fingers, her warmth rubbing against me in a sinful way.
I knew that I would stop this soon and let her heal. I couldn't decide whether to turn her yet or to wait.
Vast as my mind was, there was too much at stake to just make a rash decision.
I was not venomous unless I injected my venom deliberately, and now I withheld it, instead laving her wounds with my mouth and tongue.
Bella moaned as I released her lips and trailed my hungry mouth down her satiny neck, grazing the rounded softness with my teeth, but never breaking the skin.
"Bella, we must stop." I heard myself saying from what seemed a long way away.
"Ahh, no, don't stop Jasper, my Jasper. I want you. I need you. Make me yours." She whispered, her voice broken and pleading.
I found I didn't want to stop at all. Only the fear for her safety made me come to my senses.
I wasn't sure if I could do this without ending her existence altogether and that thought sent cold, numbing fear through me.
She felt my fear through our bond, her eyes opening hesitantly to meet mine.
I only felt trust and a deep knowing as I looked into her eyes.
"You won't hurt me." Bell said.
"I'm not so sure."
Bella smiled at me and my whole body tightened in response. It was a small, shy smile, filed with conviction. "I am." She said as her fingers danced along my jaw, stroking my mouth and then sinking into my hair on either side of my face. "Can't you feel it? I can. We belong like this, I don't know what you call it in your world, but I know without a doubt that we're meant to be together like this."
Shock hit me right in the fucking gut as the truth of what she said resonated deeply within me.
That's why I'd felt so drawn to her from the very first day and why her very presence affected me so deeply.
She was mine.
Not Edwards ... mine.
Bella Swan was my mate.
"Darlin'," I said whisper soft and sweet. "You're so fucked."