Bellatrix looked at Andromeda as the two were going up to bed. It was the kind of gaze that used to make Andromeda fidget, as if Bellatrix was looking into her very soul. But Andromeda wasn't a child anymore and so she straightened her spine, staring straight back. She'd gotten good at refusing to flinch.
"Tomorrow's your sixteenth birthday," Bellatrix said and she sounded almost emotional. That did make Andromeda twitch, knowing what was coming. It was obvious. "If your soulmark appears tomorrow…"
Andromeda didn't need her sister to finish. She knew what Bellatrix wanted to say. If your soulmark appears tomorrow and it's not somebody acceptable, you're dead to me. Perhaps Bellatrix would say it in a more tactful way… perhaps she wouldn't. Andromeda was used to the way Bellatrix would speak. Sometimes her older sister talked sweetly, her words like sprinkled sugar and her touches soft. Sometimes Bellatrix spoke as if she had only moments to get out every word, lashing at you like a whip. Andromeda wasn't sure whether she preferred the gentle lie or the abrasive truth.
"I know," Andromeda responded, trying for a smile. She looked at Bellatrix's wrist where she could barely make out the name that she knew by heart. Rodolphus Lestrange. Bellatrix had told Andromeda secretly she hoped Andromeda would be marked with Rabastan Lestrange's name. They'd be sisters twice and best friends forever. Andromeda could think of worse things even if she knew she'd never feel for Rabastan the way Bellatrix already cared for Rodolphus. "Maybe it won't appear tomorrow."
A dismissive shake of her head and a laugh was Bellatrix's response. "Come, Andie. How fast did the Sorting Hat choose Slytherin for the two of us? For Cissa too? Fate knows what our future holds."
Andromeda looked at her sister, wondering what Bellatrix would say if Andromeda admitted what had happened during the few seconds it had taken the Sorting Hat to choose her house. It was a secret she had already decided would be taken to her grave.
You'd do well in Ravenclaw. It's worth a thought. No? Not even a moment of- Alright. You can't change your fate, though. You might do well in this house but your house isn't everything. I do hope at least one of your family remembers that. Slytherin!
"Don't look so hopeless, Andie. We'll still be sisters if it's not Rabastan. I know Acton Selwyn has had his eye on you as well," Bellatrix said, as if just by wishing they would get what they want. But Andromeda didn't doubt that Bellatrix believed that. They were daughters of the house of Black. They did generally get what they wanted. "Good night. Come wake me immediately if your mark appears."
"Good night. I will." Andromeda swallowed hard, hesitating a moment before stepping forward and hugging her sister. Bellatrix stiffened, startled before she carefully hugged Andromeda back.
You can't change your fate.
Bellatrix pushed Andromeda back by the shoulders, looking at Andromeda seriously. For a moment, she looked conflicted before she took a deep breath. Andromeda had never seen her look so serious. "Fate won't do this to you. I know… I know you don't always believe you're one of us. I know you think things differently but fate will mark you just like it's done for me, for our mother, for every ancestor we've had. It's going to be okay."
The words were kind and Andromeda wanted to believe that Bellatrix meant them. Andromeda considered Bellatrix her best friend. Her older sister had her rough edges and her own ideals. Bellatrix had smacked her across the face when they were children and Andromeda had screamed that she should be allowed to play with the Muggle children down the way from their home. But Bellatrix had also held her and later Narcissa when their father had screamed at their mother about birthing sons. Bellatrix had cursed a Gryffindor boy in Andromeda's third year when he'd teased her about her lackluster Herbology performance.
They were sisters and Andromeda loved Bellatrix. And despite their differences, Bellatrix loved her back.
"Of course. You know me. I'm worrying needlessly. I'll wake up and Rabastan's name will be on my arm," Andromeda said although she felt sick to her stomach.
You can't change your fate.
If only the damn Sorting Hat would shut up in her head. Andromeda huffed out a breath, reminded herself she was a Black and pushed her hair behind her ear. It was likely she wouldn't even receive her soulmark by the morning. Her mark could come anytime from her sixteenth to seventeenth birthday, the same as it did for all witches and wizards for as far back as history was recorded.
"There we go," Bellatrix said, hugging Andromeda again, quicker this time. "Now get some sleep."
Andromeda nodded, wondering if it was that easy as she turned around. But perhaps the stress of the day had taken a toll on her. She was asleep nearly before her head hit the pillow.
She woke with a gasp, pulling her arm up and then shutting her eyes. She wasn't sure she wanted to look.
"If the name Rabastan is on my arm, I will be a good wife," she promised softly, to not wake up her housemates. "I will keep his home and bear his children and I will love them and perhaps even love him. I will make fate proud if fate is kind to me."
Andromeda took a deep, steadying breath, one more and then opened her eyes.
At first, Andromeda didn't even recognize the script on her arm.
Edward L. Tonks
Andromeda felt nausea well in her stomach and she clenched her eyes shut again. It was a dream, she decided. She was dreaming. And she repeated that over and over as she tried to wake herself up. By the fourth pinch to her arm and the sixth tear, she had to admit that she wasn't dreaming. Her soulmate, the person in the world most suited to her, was Edward Tonks.
She knew him. He was in their year, a Hufflepuff, and often tormented by the Slytherins. Tonks was too easy a target. He was too calm when confronted and rarely told the professors when messed with. It was too easy to picture him in the library only weeks ago, a well-aimed curse aimed with precision and his stack of books knocked to the floor. It hadn't been her curse but they'd locked eyes anyway. And he'd actually given her a small smile before leaning down to gather his books up while the others at her table laughed.
"Happy birthday!"
Andromeda jumped, looking up at Daena and trying not to let her housemate see her distress. She casually moved so that her arm was hidden under her covers and tried to surreptitiously reach for her wand with her other arm.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," Daena said, grinning as she sat down on the covers, her eyes bright and excited. Andromeda knew the feeling. It was a time of excitement for all students as soon as they turned 16, waiting for the soulmark. "So…? Did you get it?"
Thinking fast, Andromeda turned to face Daena, her arms moving much more than they normally would and she knocked her wand to the floor. "Oops," Andromeda murmured, turning instead to grab the object off the floor, pointing it at her arm and whispering a quick spell. The words disappeared under the glamour and she breathed a sigh of relief, lifting up her arm to show her friend. "Not yet."
You can't change your fate.
Daena looked disappointed before she perked up. "That's okay. It could come at any time now!"
Andromeda nodded, clearing her throat and getting out of bed. She couldn't feign excitement, not when she didn't know if Tonks' own 16th birthday had passed. It wasn't uncommon for soulmates to get their marks on different days, nobody knew why, but it was much more common for both to receive the marks on the younger mate's 16th birthday if their ages were within a year. And that was today and if Tonks was older than her then he would have his mark as well.
"I'm sorry. I'm not feeling well," Andromeda said, avoiding looking at Daena as she grabbed her clothes, pulling them close to her chest protectively. "I just need a moment."
Andromeda ignored the suspicious look Daena was giving her but it wasn't a lie. Andromeda wasn't sure she wasn't still going to be sick.
The feeling lingered but was getting better as she came downstairs, seeing both of her sisters looking expectantly at her.
"Not today," Daena said.
Bellatrix's eyes clouded with obvious disappointment before she shook herself. "That's alright. It's still your birthday and we'll still be celebrating you," Bellatrix promised.
"Of course!" Narcissa said, moving forward to hug Andromeda. The three-year difference seemed like lifetimes sometimes in terms of relating to each other but they were still sisters. And Andromeda hugged her back gratefully, wondering if, perhaps, Narcissa wouldn't hate her as much as Bellatrix would when the name was revealed on her wrist.
Narcissa was chattering about the present she'd give Andromeda at breakfast and Bellatrix playfully interjected, stating Andromeda would be happier with hers. The conversation was a welcome relief and for a few moments, Andromeda could forget. That was, until they left the common room and, at the end of the hall, Tonks was leaning awkwardly against a wall, arms crossed as if he was trying to protect himself.
"What are you doing down here, freak?" Daena asked, her voice carrying down the stone hall as Tonks straightened quickly.
Andromeda wouldn't meet his eyes, staring beyond his shoulder, even as he approached.
"Whoa, Mudblood. Close enough," Bellatrix said when he had only taken a few short steps towards them.
Tonks stilled and Andromeda cursed herself as her eyes flickered to his and she felt like her life was lost. It was obvious by the fact that he was there but she could see in his eyes that he'd woken to her name on his wrist.
You can't change your fate.
"What do you think you're doing down here?" Daena asked, her words more curious compared to the pure viciousness in Bellatrix's. Andromeda glanced over, unsurprised to find that Daena and Bellatrix both had their wands in hand, Bellatrix rolling hers between her fingers as if she was dying to use it.
"I…" Tonks hesitated, shaking his head as he seemed to realize his presence wasn't welcome. Andromeda didn't know what he'd expected but could it be anything else? He'd been gambling a lot just expecting her to have his name on her, never mind that she did. " I wanted to talk to…"
Tonks' frown deepened as Andromeda gave him the smallest shake of her head, back to avoiding his eyes.
"Who? None of us want to talk to a Mudblood like you," Narcissa said at her side, nudging Andromeda and looking at Bellatrix. Bellatrix gave their younger sister a proud smile and Narcissa looked back at Tonks, standing a bit straighter.
Andromeda wasn't sure why the exchange made her heart hurt so much. She didn't care about Ted Tonks, no matter if his name was on her wrist or not.
You can't change your fate.
Tonks shook himself, clearing his throat. "Right," he said slowly. He laughed then, shrugging his shoulders. "My mistake."
Andromeda finally looked at him as he walked away, his shoulders hunched slightly and his steps unsteady. She wondered whether her sisters could hear her heart beating but they just continued on towards the Great Hall, laughing at the Hufflepuff's audacity for only a moment before their attention was turned back to Andromeda's birthday. Andromeda couldn't pay attention to anything besides the fact that Tonks didn't come to the Great Hall for breakfast. And she hated herself for noticing.
The headache excuse came easily to her. She told her sisters and friends that she wasn't feeling well and just needed some fresh air, assuring them she didn't need any company and to continue celebrating her birthday with the cakes they'd smuggled from the kitchen. Fresh air was the last thing on her mind. With nearly everybody who knew her in her common room, she wandered the halls, unsure where to even begin looking for Tonks.
But maybe he was looking for her too. She was nearly to the library to start looking when she found Tonks, seeming to be wandering himself.
"Andromeda," Tonks said, sounding surprised.
Andromeda swallowed, trying to ignore the butterflies that threatened to burst from her stomach.
(Stop looking at him, a 13-year-old Andromeda Black reprimanded herself. But it was hard to ignore her Herbology partner. He was talking too fast as he expounded on the many uses of the stinging nettles they were taking apart. She was trying to avoid looking at him because his eyes were too blue, his hair looked too soft, his smile too sweet. He was beautiful, truly, and so strictly off-limits. Her mother would never forgive her if she even spoke a kind word to him. So she buried any feelings she might have and focused on the task at hand.)
"What do you want?"
Tonks smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "You were looking for me, weren't you?"
"That's rather presumptuous isn't it? I could've been doing any number of things," Andromeda snapped although she didn't bother denying it.
"Like celebrating your birthday with your family?" Tonks asked, shrugging at Andromeda's curious look. "I heard your sister talking about it a few weeks ago. It's how I knew… you likely had your mark when I woke up with mine. You do have it, don't you?"
Andromeda gasped at him saying something in the hallway they were in and, without thinking, she grabbed his arm, pulling him with her to one of the classrooms, thankful he followed easily. She knew nobody would be in them so late and she was right. The room was lit only with a few candles and she turned to him, her hands on her hips.
"Don't talk about that where people can hear," she snapped, twisting her arm away from him so he couldn't see where the words might be. She had renewed the glamour more times than necessary that day but she didn't want to risk it. He looked hurt by the movement.
"You can try to deny it but you knew I was looking for you this morning. I let it go when your sisters were there but it's just us right now. Don't deny it."
Andromeda looked at him, wondering if he really had any reason to believe this was anything but a mistake.
You can't change your fate.
"Okay. Your name might be on my wrist but that means nothing, Edward L. Tonks." She said her name as if it tasted filthy, trying to think of what Bellatrix would say. It made it easier for her to look at him as if he was worthless, the way she'd never thought of Muggle-borns. She followed along and played her role as the perfect daughter and sister and Slytherin and pureblood. She'd been perfecting it for years.
"Nothing, Andromeda D. Black? Nothing, really?" Tonks asked and his words were harsher this time. She wasn't sure if it was anger or hurt she was hearing in his voice but she dug her nails into her palm, trying to focus on the pain of that and not the pain from him. "You can't lie forever. By your seventeenth birthday, they're going to know that you have a soulmate. What are you going to do?"
Andromeda looked at him, unable to come up with an answer. The truth was she'd been thinking of that all day and she'd been unable to come up with anything. She might have a year to think about it but she wasn't sure what she could do. And what if Tonks refused to keep it a secret?
"Andromeda… don't push me away," Tonks said, his gaze softening at her obvious distress. He took a step forward, stopping when she took a step back in response. "You know the marks mean something."
Of course, she did. The marks were the basis of every fairy tale ever written in the magical world and the origin of the myth for Muggles. Soulmates were everything. They were your other half. They were the one who would love you most in the world, who would complete you. Andromeda knew the truths. Even her parent's marriage, volatile as it was, held an absurd amount of love.
"Tell Bellatrix that you have my name on your wrist and see what she has to say about it," Andromeda responded, subconsciously reaching down to finger her wand, as if she might need it. She'd like to believe Bellatrix wouldn't actually curse her but she couldn't be sure, not when her soulmate was a Muggle-born Hufflepuff of all people.
Tonks tilted his head to the side. "I feel like having to duel her to the death isn't a good first step of our courtship."
Andromeda let out a startled laugh, trying to quiet it but Tonks looked pleased with himself just from the sound. This time when he stepped towards her, she didn't step back.
"I can't imagine how hard this is for you. I've heard enough from your sister, from the other Slytherins, to know what they think of me. It doesn't bother me but… all day I've been thinking of what this will mean for you," Tonks said quietly, reaching out and taking her hand in his own. Andromeda felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest but she didn't move, even to hold his hand back. "I'm sorry for the pain you're going to feel from your family but I'm not sorry we're soulmates."
Instinctively Andromeda tried to draw her hand away but Tonks tightened his hold, stepping closer again. "Tonks," Andromeda whispered warningly.
"I know you're different from them. You think I haven't noticed that you've never done what they do? Maybe the other students have missed it, maybe your own sisters have, but I haven't. Ever since we were 13 and paired up in Herbology."
(Her silence didn't seem to matter to him as he patiently pulled her hand back at least a dozen times from stinging herself. Every time she nearly messed up, she balled her hand into a fist, frustrated over her failure in Herbology. She'd never been good at this subject and she couldn't wait until she could drop the class.
"It's okay," Tonks said, releasing her wrist again now that she wasn't about to sting herself. It wasn't likely to hurt her much through the thick gloves they wore but the students had been warned not to risk it. "You'll get it."
Andromeda turned to him, an angry retort already on her lips but it died at the kind smile on his. Instead, she took a breath and looked back at the nettles. No feelings, she reminded herself.)
"I don't remember," Andromeda lied.
"I wouldn't expect you to," Tonks responded and he moved closer again. Andromeda considered moving but she stayed where she was, not wanting to admit any weakness. "But I remember. You smiled at me and I was a goner. I didn't let myself have any ideas. I knew that I'd want to devote myself completely to my soulmate but it didn't mean that I couldn't look in the meantime. I would just keep it a secret how much of a crush I had on Andromeda Black."
You can't change your fate.
"Why are you admitting this? You shouldn't."
"Why not? It's just you hearing." Tonks tilted their hands, sliding his fingers through hers and she wouldn't admit how right it felt. She'd never held hands with anybody but her family in such a way. Judging by the surprise on his face, neither had he. "Although, I suppose you could go and tell your Slytherin friends to tease me about it. I imagine they'll love to hear about us holding hands in a dark classroom at night, sharing stories."
Andromeda looked at him, realizing that he was right. What a Slytherin move, she thought. "You're doing this on purpose."
Tonks grinned, squeezing her hand gently. "You're the one who pulled your newly marked soulmate into an empty classroom."
An argument wasn't coming to Andromeda's mind considering the truth to the statement so she changed the subject. He smirked, as if she was admitting defeat by doing it. "We can't do this. You realize that, don't you? My sister would kill us if she knew that we were talking, let alone…"
"Soulmates? Because that's what we are, Andromeda." Tonks didn't let her as she tries to pull away and this time when she stepped back, she realized that her back was against the classroom wall.
Andromeda shook her head and it was pure instinct that propels her to pull his hand against her chest, over her heart. His cheeks go pink at the contact but she looks incredibly serious as their eyes meet again. "Tonks… Ted… Listen to me. What my housemates do to you now is nothing compared to what would happen if they find out we're soulmates. If Bella didn't kill you then my parents would. A pureblood marriage is all that I'm good for to them."
Tonks scowled at those words, pulling his hand from hers and turning away. She watched him as he seemed to consider his next words with his back to her, his shoulders shaking as if he was breathing hard. He only thought for a minute before he turned back, his eyes bright and she would swear it was like he could see her in a way that nobody ever had. "How can you say that like that? As if it doesn't matter? You're worth more than that."
"Don't tell me what I'm worth. I know what I'm worth," Andromeda snapped, her eyes narrowing. She snatched her hand away as he tried to take it again and she had the strongest urge to leave the room. There was something that was holding her, though. Ted's words were wrong but his heart was in the right place and she could see how genuine he was. "Don't act like you know me or that us being soulmates changes anything."
"You think us being soulmates changes nothing?" Tonks asked, no real anger in his voice just an honest vulnerability that Andromeda wasn't used to.
Andromeda opened and then closed her mouth before crossing her arms tightly over her chest. She decided then and there that she wasn't fond of Ted Tonks and the way that he looked at her. There was something sweet in his gaze that made her want to squirm but a certain stubbornness that she didn't know Hufflepuffs could even possess. But then, she had never had this long of a conversation with a Hufflepuff.
"It doesn't matter what I think," Andromeda said quietly, letting out a slow breath as she met Tonks' eyes. She imagined herself in different circumstances, able to accept the love of her soulmate. If her family was more accepting or even no longer around, she actually could imagine herself trying to enjoy his company. There had to be something good about him if fate thought she'd enjoy spending the rest of her life with him.
This time when he tried to grab her hand, she let him and it was her who held on tight.
"Yes, it does," Ted said, looking down at their hands and then back up into her eyes. She wanted to look away, to hide herself from him because she knew it didn't. She couldn't be with him for both of their sakes. There weren't many ways she could fake a soulmark but she would figure it out. She was smart. It was a bad idea to say yes to Ted Tonks. "It matters to me."
Andromeda shook her head, letting out a shaky breath that left her feeling like she was in physical pain. "You don't know me."
Ted shrugged, his free hand coming up to rest on her cheek. She flinched on instinct and he leaned in, pressing a short kiss to the corner of her lips. She was certain there were actual butterflies taking up residence in her stomach. "I don't need to. Not right this second. Fate says that I'm going to like you anyway."
"That's not good enough."
Ted's lips curled up into the sweetest smile that Andromeda had ever seen. It occurred to her suddenly that in the span of however long they had been standing here he had gone from Tonks to Ted. And didn't that say almost everything?
"Maybe it isn't," Ted admitted, his thumb caressing her cheek gently. Andromeda hated herself for believing she could stand there forever with him. "But maybe it's not about my name on you but you standing here with me. You think your older sister, the scary one, would let me touch her like this if my name was on her?"
That question was hardly fair but Andromeda knew the truth. Bellatrix would likely kill Ted if there was even a chance they were soulmates. The reminder made her think again of the fact that Bellatrix would kill Ted for being Andromeda's soulmate. The fact that Ted's touch was so soft it made her heart beat faster wouldn't matter to her sister.
"Ted…" But what could she say? She didn't want to argue with him and she had a feeling it wasn't going to matter anyway. He seemed convinced she was worth something.
"It's okay for now," Ted interrupted, that same kind smile on his lips. She stared at them, knowing that when he'd pressed his lips to her skin wasn't a real kiss but it was still her first. It still meant something. "It's your birthday. Go celebrate. We have at least a year to figure it out."
Andromeda had a feeling he already had everything figured out in a way that Andromeda didn't at all. But that was okay. Maybe he could help her when it was time.
"You're… rather infuriating," Andromeda whispered and she knew that she was growing fond of him when he simply laughed, not taking offense to the comment at all.
"I've actually heard that a lot." Ted grinned at her before he stepped away. She immediately felt the difference and she couldn't believe this impertinent Hufflepuff had disarmed her so easily. She was tempted to make sure her wand was still in her robe. How could he get under her skin so easily? Was that what soulmates are?
You can't change your fate.
The Sorting Hat still echoed in her mind and she told herself that fate wasn't going to decide things for her.
Her house, her soulmate, her family. None of it defined her and if it did, it was only because she let it. If she loved the way that Ted looked when he was smiling at her with something so bright in his eyes, it had nothing to do with fate.
"Don't talk to me in public again," Andromeda told him, taking a deep, calming breath and turning towards the door.
"Happy birthday, 'Dromeda. I'll look forward to the next time you pull me into a dark classroom."
Andromeda narrowed her eyes over her shoulder, refusing to give Ted an actual smile. By the way he grinned back at her, she had a feeling he could see she was amused anyway.
"Goodnight, Ted."
Andromeda clutched her wrist close to her heart the whole time as she walked back to her common room. She couldn't get Ted out of her thoughts. And she knew that she was in trouble.
