"I thought this guy was better than the general college fuckwit that we're used to dealing with," Lydia muttered angrily as she looked down the short hallway to where Clary's door was closed. Her and Simon were in the small kitchen of the apartment, getting dinner ready for themselves and for Raphael and Clary. "What the fuck happened? Has she told you anything?"
"Nope," Simon shook his head. "I don't know what changed."
"They probably fucked, right?" Raphael suggested, not bothering to lower his voice like the two other friends were doing, even though Clary's door was shut, the TV in the lounge was on, and there was also music coming loudly from the redheads room. It didn't stop Lydia from glaring at him and reaching over to slap his arm. "What?!" Raphael grumbled, rubbing his arm as he stepped out of the reach of the blonde. "It's true, they probably did."
"Well..." Lydia huffed, now completely given up on pretending to help Simon with dinner, which was probably a good thing, because she really wasn't the best cook. Simon took over looking after the white sauce that she had been absent mindedly serving, and began stirring it quickly, trying to get rid of the lumps that had started forming. "I don't see how that would have made things worse. They seem to get on really well, and if they were anyone else, they would have started fucking ages ago. Hell—they would probably be dating by now."
"Maybe we should just give it a few more days," Simon said wisely, knowing his best friend better than most. "Just give her some space, let her work things out. She'll come to us when she's ready."
"You know I'm not patient," Lydia huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest and came out of the kitchen, circling around to the other side of the bench to stand next to Raphael. He gave her a narrow eyed look, as though he was worried that she was going to hit him again, but he relaxed when she kept her arms crossed. "Well, we've got class at seven in the morning tomorrow. You think she'll come?"
"She won't blow off her class," Simon said confidently. "Doesn't matter what happened, she's only missed three art classes in the past two years. Twice when she was so sick I had to ring her mum to force her to go to the doctors, and once when I had that asthma attack and she had to take me to the hospital. She goes hungover all the time. She's not going to let some guy stop her." Lydia pursed her lips, and it didn't look as though she totally agreed with Simon, but she knew that he knew their friend best. So she fell quiet, and leaned almost unconsciously against Raphael, as though for comfort. Raphael slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her in close to his side.
Lydia kept giving her looks, and Clary knew that it was just because her friend was worried about her, but it was starting to get on her nerves. She purposefully turned the music in her ears up even louder, and focused on the painting in front of her. She probably should talk to her friends, and tell them what was going on—the truth was probably nowhere near as bad as they thought it was. They probably thought that Jace had done something to her, had hurt her, when in all honesty, she didn't quite get why she was so upset.
It wasn't even as though Jace had said anything bad, in fact, he had defended her to the bitch who had traipsed in there, early in the morning and starting spouting off shit about their relationship, even though she had never even met Clary.
But maybe the problem was that Clary didn't even know her. Had never even heard of her before.
Maybe a big part of the problem was that—even though Clary was not just after Jace's food or money or weed or whatever it was that the woman this morning thought that she was using him for—but that this woman was clearly important to Jace, and she had no idea who she was. She had no idea who this other girl, Maia, was either, and clearly she was a big part of Jace's life as well, or at least, had been.
Jace was under no obligation to tell her anything about his life, because they weren't a couple, they were just...Sort of friends, stoner pals, dinner buddies—but it still felt as though he knew so much more about her than she did about him. Part of that was just their differing personalities, because Jace had never been the type to talk all that much and Clary was the opposite, but it made her realize just how little she really knew about Jace.
Pretty much nothing.
When Clary got home that night, after working a shift at the library with Lydia, who was giving her the distance she wanted, she ran into Simon, who was looking like he was all dressed up and had even properly parted his hair.
"Hey," Simon paused on his way to the door as Clary came in.
"Hey," Clary gave him a small smile. "Date with Maureen?"
"Actually..." Simon gave her a bashful smile. "You know the bosses daughter?" He asked and Clary's eyebrows lifted.
"Oh, really?" She asked in a teasing voice. "You finally got up the balls to do that? Have you cut the ties with Maureen?"
"I told her that there was someone else that I really liked," Simon admitted, and there was a pained look on his face, which said the conversation properly went as well as Clary could imagine. Maureen wasn't exactly the quiet type, and she had made it pretty clear to everyone involved that she was interested in Simon. "I apologize in advance if there's any nasty messages left in blood on our door."
"Oh, lovely," Clary rolled her eyes. "But good on you. She was..." she scrunched up her nose. "You could do better," she concluded and Simon let out a short laugh.
"Yeah, well, I'm hoping that maybe things go better with this one," he admitted with a bit of a bashful shrug.
"Well, you look great," Clary gave him a small smile and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. She was moving around him and heading toward her bedroom when Simon called out to her, and the smile from his face was gone and he looked concerned. "What?" Clary asked, her step faltering. "What's wrong?"
"No, it's just..." Simon paused and licked his lips. "I mean, I can do it some other time." Clary frowned at him and turned back so she was facing him fully. "I can stay in tonight, if you want me to." She seemed to realize what he was getting at and she rolled her eyes.
"Oh my god—no!" Clary shook her head. "You guys are all acting as though I just went through a really bad break up, which I didn't. While I appreciate your offer, no, go! Have fun!" Simon hesitated for a moment before flashing her a smile and heading out the door. Clary's smile dropped and she let out a sigh as she went to her bedroom. She dropped her bag on the ground and fell backwards on her bed, bouncing up and down a few times before she settled down flat.
She didn't want to waste anymore of her time thinking about Jace.
What had happened yesterday shouldn't even matter.
And yet...
Clary let out a frustrated growl as she wiggled around on the bed to get her phone out of her back pocket and opened up the Facebook app. She typed in his name, found his Facebook page and clicked on his profile picture. It was a good photo, it looked like he was at a park. He had a ball cap on backwards, his shaggy hair almost looking fluffy around his face. There were only a couple of other photos on his page, some along and some with friends, that she was almost embarrassed to admit she had stared at to the point of having the memorized. But this time, she went to his friends, with a different idea in mind.
Mya.
It came up with no results.
Maya.
It also didn't come up with any results.
Clary deleted the last two letters, so only the M and A were in the search bar, and there were two hits. The second one was a pretty looking girl with curly dark hair, who's name was Maia Roberts. Clary clicked on her profile picture and found that her page was a bit less private and a bit more active than Jace's. She was in a relationship, with someone called Jordan Kyle, and she had a baby, quite a new baby it seemed, given how many pictures there were of a little girl with big, brown eyes who looked around two or three months old. Absolutely beautiful baby girl, and Maia and Jordan seemed smitten with her, and with each other, judging by the other pictures.
Her page was a lot more public that Jace's, or maybe it was that she just spent a lot more time online. There were a lot of photos, the newer ones were all with the baby, and a lot with her partner. Older photos had her with groups of people, out drinking. And then Clary got into the photos about two years ago, and she blinked as she recognized Jace is one of the photos. The more she flicked through them, the heavier her stomach got.
Jace and this girl Maia had clearly been together at one stage, it actually looked as though they had been together for so long. Jace looked younger, a bit lighter, although it still didn't look as though he smiled much. There was a photo of Maia on his lap, with her arm around his shoulder and their heads pressed together, another one that also had the girl 'Izzy' in it.
They looked as though they were in love.
Clary let out a sigh and dropped her phone onto her bed.
This wasn't helping anything.
She wasn't sure what time it happened, but Clary fell asleep, and it was late before she woke up again. It wasn't that she hadn't been getting much sleep, but maybe it was just the stress of school and work and, unfortunately, Jace, that had caught up with her. It was dark outside, and she sleepily pulled her curtains across before fumbling around for her phone. She smiled at the top couple of notifications. One was from Simon saying that he was going to be out later than he expected, and that he might not even be home that night. She sent a response saying that she hoped it all went well.
The next couple of notifications were snapchats, a couple from Lydia and another one from Raphael. It seemed like they were together, which Clary was happy about. First, it meant Lydia wasn't stuck down in her apartment with the bunch of stroppy girls that she lived with, and second, hopefully it meant that Raphael and Lydia were taking a step closer to actually being together. It was just a matter of time, in Clary's eyes.
But the last two notifications made Clary get that melancholy feeling in her chest all over again.
Come over for dinner?
She hadn't replied, because she had been asleep, but he didn't know that. An hour after his first message, he sent another one.
Then another time? Please.
Clary didn't reply, taking in a deep breath as she put her phone back down on the bed and closed her eyes again.
So my song recommendations this week...Polygraph Eyes by Yungblud, I think it's incredible. Also the live cover version I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Yungblud and Halsey, and this also shows incredible chemistry between them. So, Yungblud, real name Dominic Harrison...I totally understand that he's not everyone's cup of tea, but I adore him. He's only twenty-one and he has written some incredible songs. Polygraph Eyes is about sexual assault and the consent issue that is so big right now. Medication that talks about our heavily medicated society, and Kill Somebody, which is a something of a visual representation of depression and anxiety, which hits hard for me. He's really open about his own mental illness and ADHD, and he's continually breaking down gender norms and sexual stereotypes—dude wears more pink that a Disney princess, rocks dresses and skirts, regularly makes out with his guitarist and has a beautiful relationship with Halsey. I recommend him so much, he's just so unapologetically himself and blunt and incredible, please, please, please check him out.
TV series and movies...I'm really enjoying Bull and Ray Donovan at the moment. Also, Animal Kingdom, which I started watching for Finn Cole, who is also in Peaky Blinders, and it's fucking amazing. So is Peaky Blinders, though. So both of them. We also recently rewatched Hairspray, which I adore. Haha.
Ooh, also! We have release date for the new Veronica Mars series! I feel like I've been waiting a life time for it. And for Big Little Lies! I wasn't to keen on a second season just because the first one was complete and there was only one book, but I'm still excited for it.
I've gone to a couple of concerts this month; Anne Marie and Billie Eilish. Both of them had such incredible voices live, they sounded pretty much exactly like their studio recordings and they had such insane energy. Anne Marie seemed like a total sweetheart, full of smiles and giggles, and then Billie was just amazing, that girl is going places given she's gotten this far and she's only seventeen. The whole crowd for Billie was on their feet the whole time, even us in the seated section—she was just magnetic. Tickets for her were insane, we only just managed to get some in the last release.
Ooh, and Drax Project have a new music video out for their song Woke Up Late featuring Hailee Steinfeld. My hubby wasn't too happy, because it's got Liza Koshy in it and he finds her frustrating at hell.
Now for my questions! Okay...What is a ship, or multiple ships, that have broken your heart, or that have really made you feel just a little fucked up? Can be canon or not. My top one would have to be Hanna/Caleb from Pretty Little Liars. I absolutely fucking hated season 6 and 7 of PLL, and I stopped watching it until they got back together, and even then, it actually felt like my whole stomach had been ripped out of my body when there was the whole Spencer/Caleb story line. And then the other two would be Landon/Jamie from A Walk To Remember and Ian/Mickey from Shameless. Holy shit. My fucking heart. There are plenty of other couples that really hit me as well, Steve/Bucky from Avengers, Alex/Michael from Roswell: New Mexico, Bellamy/Clarke from The 100, Logan/Veronica from Veronica Mars, Chuck/Blair from Gossip Girl, Will/Alicia from The Good Wife and Jane/Michael from Jane The Virgin to name a few.
Next one; what is your favourite colour? Super easy, right? Haha. Although I don't have one, so maybe it's not...Green or purple? Maybe? Haha.
And then; are you preparing to be emotionally fucked up by Avengers: Endgame, or are you completely indifferent? I'm seeing it in a couple of hours, and I tell you, I am fucked. And I am going to be so fucked. I've looked up every spoiler possible, watched a bit of the leaked footage and I'm still not prepared. If you guys want any spoilers or anything, just message me, and I'll try to retain everything through my hysteria.
Just as my last point, my love and heart goes out to those in Sri Lanka. My cousin and I cried when waking up and reading what happened and I can't even fathom how those who were involved and directly affected are feeling right now.
Love to you all xx