The real first time
Yes, first times are often scary and they are suppose to be, I guess. Now I don't scare easily and I think the reason for that is because I had to learn to get tough. People would say I had a heart of stone, at least back then. But those who knew me, they knew it wasn't true. I may be a bitch, but I did not have a heart of stone, I still don't. However sometimes you get surprised and that day 14 years ago really surprised me for so many reasons.
14 years before
Normal… that's what it was suppose to be… normal. Dad made me quit working for him after what happened with Aaron Echolls and over that summer everything was so not normal. Me and Logan, I was faithful and I stood by him. He was no killer, I knew that! He was not his father, however he was not stable either. He and his friends messed around and by the time summer was almost over we had a full on classwar. My dad wanted me to be safe, but Neptune was far from it. No one was safe, at least not if you lived anywhere else that in the 09 zipcode. The day I broke up with Logan, dad had to throw him out, he was unstable and he was angry. I was lost and I was sad. I had thought that it was enough that I was there by him, but it wasn't. However, that night I wasn't calm. I was angry, fuming actually. A little after 7 I went out, promising my dad not to do anything stupid and I lied. I was going to do something really REALLY stupid, but I had to. I drove way to fast though town and I can barely remember the drive. I do remember coming there though, I was not greeted with any love, more along the lines of hate. "No! Get the hell out of here!" He said as I went up to his fence. "Why? Are you going to shoot me?" I asked and he stopped. "Me? No… I can't speak for the rest of the street though!" "We could have died!" I said and he looked confused. "Yesterday! You sent your boys to shoot through Logans car, we were in there!" He now stopped. "Excuse me?" He said. "What do you mean excuse me… gun blasting through the back window of his car, we were in the car, I heard bikes driving of!" I said. "I didn't…" He started, but then he seemed to realize that he was speaking to me, so he turned quiet. "You didn't know?" I asked, but he was still quiet, however he did open up the gate and came up to me. "Where was the car?" He asked. "Does that matter?" I asked, but he just kept looking at me. "Outside my apartment!" I said and suddenly he seemed a bit weird. "What?" I asked. "Are you ok?" He then said. "I guess, but still that was…." I started but he kissed me, and like a year before I kissed him back. This time he broke the kiss. "So you weren't hurt?" He asked. "No, nor was Logan!" I said and he let me go. "I really don't care about your murderius boyfriend!" He said. "You should, he is the one with the money to get out of things, also correction, ex boyfriend and he is not a killer!" He looked at me. "Ex boyfriend..since when?" "Did you hear the no killer part?" I asked. "We're not gonna agree on that one. Since when?" He said. "A few hours ago, dad had to throw him out!" I said and he put his hand under my chin. "Really, so the sheriff had to kick him out? What did he do?" He asked. "Nothing, he just didn't take the breakup so good!" "Yet he is no killer?" I took his hand away from my chin, but didn't let it go. "No, he isn't." I said and I said it firmly. He kissed me again. "Come in with me…" He said, but it wasn't a demand, nor was it really a question, it was more of a suggestion. "Why?" I asked. "Because I don't want you to go!" He kissed me again and I tensed up when he put his hands around me. "Yeah… those rumours… about how experienced I am… not true, none of them!" I said. "That's why you think I want you?" He asked and I wasn't sure up until he asked that. "Besides, I never believed them, not you!" He said and kissed me again. "I don't think you understand just how little I have done!" I said and now he let go of me. "No? So tell me!" He said. "As far as we have ever gone… perhaps a bit deeper kissing but that's it!" I said. "Ok.. and what? You don't want this to go any further… it's up to you!" I look at him. "I guess I thought you wouldn't want too…" I said honestly. "Well this must be rare, but you are wrong!" He said and we started to kiss again.
I had done it before, I wasn't a virgin… but I didn't remember it, not to mention it was when I was unconscious, it was rape. So this was my first real time.