Hey, guys! Before getting into it, I want to recommend some of my favourite songs as of late...Undrunk by Fletcher. Dance Monkey by Tones and I. And then of course Kill My Mind by the beautiful Louis Tomlinson and Lights Up by the just as beautiful Harry Styles, although the Lights Up music video was an experience and a half, especially while high. Pretending and Honest by Mali Koa are just beautiful. Then Promise Me by Badflowers, which...Made my heart hurt when I heard the song, and then when I watched the video, I cried for the next hour. Yeah. I just wanted to share some happy things, since my note down the end isn't as happy, I guess. Anyway. On with the story x

Jace had thought that Clary had fallen asleep once they had both cleaned up, given how quiet she was in the bed next to him. But when he had said her name softly, she had replied, her voice wide awake. And they had talked until Jace had checked his phone and seen that it was after four o'clock and reluctantly said that they had better get some sleep.

Or, at least, Clary had talked.

It seemed as though she had been completely satisfied with what he had told her before they had gotten into bed together, as though she had completely forgiven him. He really wasn't sure if the explanation was worth it, given how hurt she had looked before, but he was glad.

She talked about the show case that night, and how nervous she had been. She caught him up on everything that had happened in her life since they had parted ways, and although she prefaced it by saying that really nothing had happened, because she had been so focused on her art and practically drowned in it, she still managed to talk for nearly an hour straight. There was a new band that she had discovered, Highly Suspect, and she gushed about how she couldn't believe that she hadn't listened to them earlier. Apparently they had been on repeat almost the whole time they had been apart. There was also the soundtrack to High School Musical that she had downloaded and Jace couldn't help but snort at that, but Clary didn't take offence. She stuck her tongue out at him for a split second before going right back to talking.

It was only after that hour had passed, and he had checked the time on his phone, that he admitted something that maybe he should have said when he had run down his whole life to her out in the lounge.

That the first time he had ever really paid attention to her had been the showcase he had gone to last year.

Jace had been worried that she might find it weird.

Weird that the first time he had ever really paid attention to her was when she had been wearing a short blue dress and biting the corner of her thumb nervously as people appraised the work that she had done.

And weird that he hadn't mentioned it to her before, that he had known who she was three months before she had shown up on his doorstep to buy weed.

Alright, so, obviously I didn't update last month. My bad. I'm in a pretty shitty spot, to be honest, mentally and physically and I've just got a lot going on right now. I'm still dealing with the abrupt loss of a family member and the fall out of that on my family and recently my husband has had a colleague take his life, which has brought up a lot for him. We're going to be okay, we're dealing with things, but I just need to take a breath right now. When I am in front of my computer and I'm actually focused enough to write, I'm not sticking to the schedules that I had before and I'm just writing what I really feel like which unfortunately hasn't been these stories. So I'm just...Gonna take a step back for a bit.

You guys are all beautiful, and I'll be back soon, I just need a bit of a breather to re-centre myself.

Since updating last, it has been World Coming Out Day and World Mental Health Day and I just wanted to say to anyone dealing with mental health issues and anyone in the LGBTQ+ community, whether you are out and loud or still processing things internally, you are all beautiful and deserve love and kindness. Just because I'm going to be away for a little bit, doesn't mean I'm unreachable, feel free to message me on my socials or on here if anyone ever wants to just chat, even if it's just about movies or songs, we all need to look after ourselves first, and then one another.

Much love xx

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He had seen her when she had come into his club and he had watched her as she danced and laughed with her friend, and he had been completely caught off guard when she had shown up at his place.

Clary's mouth dropped when he made his admission to her but she hadn't called it out. Maybe it was because he had already bared so much to her, revealed a whole part of his life that she had never known before—although in all fairness, she hadn't known much about him to begin with. She had reached over and given him a hard kiss on the mouth, as though to assure him that everything was okay, and then she started talking about the exams that she had coming up, as though nothing had ever happened.

A few days went by and Clary was in her shared apartment with Simon, studying, with music playing on their TV in the corner of the room. Simon was at his internship, Lydia was at work and Raphael was at a study group at the University's library. She didn't mind being alone in the apartment, since she still had three exams left for the year. There were only two weeks left and she was currently on study leave, with her first exam was next week, and then once they were over, she was done, and she really wanted that to come around soon.

Her and Lydia had applied for a couple of summer jobs in town and they had heard back from two of them, which they had interviews for in the weekend. They were aiming to try and get a job together, to make time go faster. She was going to go back home for two weeks at the end of summer break to spend with her mum and Luke, and Jocelyn was coming up for a few days in the middle to see Clary.

She couldn't wait for the school year to finish, especially in the past month or so it had been stressful, getting ready for the art exhibit, and she was still stressed about that, since their final grade wasn't going to be posted for another six weeks. Going into the University to study every other day still made her stressed because she had to go by the studio, and she wondered what she was going to get as her final grade. Even though Dot had always been helpful and obviously liked her work, it didn't instantly mean that she was going to get a good grade.

Next year was her last year doing her actual art degree and then came the hard part. Her mother sold her art for a living, showing it in different exhibits as well as doing it for some private studios who had requests. But while Jocelyn was extremely talented, Clary knew how hard it could be to make it in that world, because of how many artists there were out there, and how many of them were incredibly talented and still struggled to make a living.

Clary had thought about it before, and talked about it with Simon and her mother, about doing another year after her art degree, in teaching. She had loved her high school art teacher, and even though there were kids who took advantage of the easy going class, it was a safe place for so many others. So she had thought about becoming an art teacher, although she hadn't made up her mind yet. Honestly, the idea of doing another year at school kind of sounded like a nightmare.

It was almost two in the afternoon when there was a knock at the door. She glanced up with a frown, given most people didn't knock when they came over, since their only visitors were generally their friends who just opened the door and walked right in. She had been chewing down on the end of her pen and pulled it out of her mouth, dropping it to the chipped coffee table she was working at, and got up, walking over to the door. Clary opened it up and then blinked at who was standing there.

Isabelle.

She looked well put together, in a pair of dark coloured fitted pants and high heels that rivaled the height of heels that Kaelie would wear and a dark purple blouse. Maybe she had just come from work at the accounting firm —with Simon —since it was so warm that no one was wearing long pants and a long sleeved shirt by choice. But despite her flawless make up, there was a nervous tightness to the corner of her mouth as Clary met her eyes.

"Hi," Isabelle stated, and to her credit, the nervousness didn't come through in her voice.

"Hi," Clary returned with a small nod, not too sure what was happening here. If Isabelle had come from work, then she had to know that Simon wasn't at the apartment. She didn't even know if her and Simon were still seeing each other outside of work, because Simon had been pretty pissed off the last couple of times she had been brought up in conversation. "How can I help you?" Clary asked, deciding that was as good a place as any to start.

"I was..." Isabelle trailed off and swallowed hard. "Can I come in?" Clary hesitated before sighing and shrugging as she stepped aside and Isabelle came in. The dark haired girl looked around the small lounge and Clary wondered if she was judging them on the apartment size. It wasn't anything fancy, but it was her home and Isabelle was in no way in her good books and in a position to criticize it. Isabelle took a seat on the couch and Clary sat down on the arm chair, waiting for her to talk. "I owe you an apology," Isabelle began and Clary was surprised.

"Yeah, you do," Clary said evenly, because Isabelle was right, she did. Isabelle looked taken aback by her words and then let out a snort and shook her head, a small smile on her dark red painted lips.

"Jace is like my big brother, like Alec," Isabelle said. "And he got screwed over really badly by a girl that he loved—that we all loved. And it fucked him up for a while."

"I heard," Clary told her, her voice still even, not giving Isabelle any sign of budging or forgiving her before she actually got the words 'I'm sorry' out.

"Yeah, he told me that he told you," Isabelle murmured and drew in a deep breath through her nose. "Look, it wasn't anything against you as a person," she began. "I don't even know you enough to have a personal opinion of you!" That was definitely something they could both agree on, but it didn't make it okay. "I just get protective over Jace, and I kind of get fired up about anyone that he's into. I guess maybe it's also because I feel as though Maia tricked me as well, you know? I thought she was this absolutely amazing person and it turned out that she wasn't...Or maybe she was and she just got caught up in a shitty situation, but what she did was a dick move." Clary blinked at Isabelle and the dark haired girl took in a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say, is that I get nervous when there's a new girl around Jace, and I get nervous when I see how much they like him and when I get nervous I get aggressive and I act like a—"

"A bitch?" Clary supplied with an arch of her eyebrow and Isabelle let out another laugh.

"Yeah, that's probably the only word for it," she murmured.

"Oh, there's definitely more," Clary told her airily. "I'm just too polite to use them." Isabelle smiled and shrugged.

"At the end of the day, I just want to say I'm sorry," she concluded. "It wasn't right what I said about you in Jace's apartment, or the way I acted at Magnus' party. I can't say I'm never gonna act like a bitch again, given it seems like we're going to be seeing each other a lot more coz Jace seems pretty serious about you and acting like a bitch is sometimes just my default setting, but I'll try not?" It wasn't totally comforting but at least it was honest, Clary allowed.

"Okay," the redhead nodded. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt Jace..." she trailed off for a moment, thinking about how Isabelle had said that Jace was serious about her. Despite everything they had talked about, they hadn't quite cemented where they were in their relationship with one another. "And I can understand why you feel protective. So...All is forgiven, I guess," she gave a one shouldered shrug, not too sure what else there is to say. Isabelle nodded her head a few times and then got up.

"I'll, uh, I'll leave you to get back to your studying," Isabelle said, looking down at the books that were spread out over the coffee table. "Simon mentioned that you guys all had your final exams coming up." So maybe her and Simon were still talking.

"Isabelle?" Clary called out as the older woman opened up the front door and was about to step back. She looked back at the redhead and Clary gave her a small smile. "Thank you for—for coming by." Isabelle looked relieved as she smiled again.

"I'll see you around?" She sounded slightly hopeful and it made Clary's smile easier, more genuine.

"Yeah," she responded.