Cover art - Mike (Not saying you're not allowed to know him. I'm just saying I know him)

Chapter 4 - Odious Strife

"Foooooooooood!" Ruby groaned like a zombie as she munched on her lunch. "Neeeeeeeeeeeed foooooooooooooood!"

Chunks of potatoes were spilling from her mouth, but not even Weiss had the strength to correct her on her table manners. They were all feeling the same way.

"I didn't think it was possible for someone to be so boring, that listening to them builds up an appetite," Ren muttered as he poked at his peas. "If Professor Port could weaponize his ability to drain the will from people, he'd be unstoppable."

"I hear there's already a Grimm that does that," Pyrrha said. "The Apathy, I think it's called?"

"You don't think he actually is one, do you?" Nora asked. "Maybe that's how he knows so much about Grimm- he's one himself! Oooh, I think we've just stumbled upon a conspiracy here! This is how the Grimm will wipe us out: from the inside!"

"I think Nora might be onto something," Weiss murmured.

"You're only saying that because you're tired and hungry," Ren said.

Weiss blinked. "You're right," she whispered, sounding horrified with herself. "My apologies. Don't let me talk until after I've eaten and rested."

Unlike the rest of his companions, Jaune wasn't feeling that bad. Sure, Professor Port's lessons were a drag, but at least they were better than being stuck in a tree. He was in such good spirits after getting down, that he was actually able to pay attention to the professor's drivel. He even took notes, something people even like Weiss and Pyrrha struggled to do in his lessons.

He ate his lunch happily without struggle or fatigue.

"Ugh, it stinks in here," Yang moaned.

Ruby blushed. "Sorry," she muttered.

"Not you!" Yang said. She pointed two accusing fingers at Jaune and Blake. "It's because of you two! Did you really have to order nothing but fish for lunch? You're stinking the place up!"

It was true, he and Blake had coincidentally ordered a giant pile of tuna for lunch. He couldn't smell anything bad though.

"What's wrong with wanting fish?" Blake leered. "It's got to be better than eating fatty meat like that burger you've got there."

"At least I'm not making the place smell like an aquarium!" Yang shot back.

"I will admit, that is an unusually large amount of fish you're eating, Jaune," Pyrrha said to him. "You haven't even ordered any sides with it. It's literally just fish."

Jaune shrugged. "I've got a craving for it recently," he said. "I guess being at a school for hunters has made me appreciate foods with protein and nutrients in it."

"Preach," Blake said, approval in her tone.

"You should try some, Pyrrha," he said, holding his fork close to her. "It's good stuff, really healthy for you."

Pyrrha's nose wrinkled. "Um… I'm okay, thank you," she winced, trying to sound as polite as possible. "My lunch is pretty filling."

"Your loss," he hummed, serving himself another mouthful.

It was easy to get addicted to the scaley delights on his plate. The rich flavour and how the meat melted on your tongue was something he had never noticed before until now. If this kept up, this was gonna be one of his routine meals, regardless of how much the other's complained.

So lost in his food, he didn't realise he had devoured the rest of his fish so quickly. His plate was bare and fish-ridden. There was but one solution to this problem.

"I'm gonna get some more food. Be right back," Jaune said, standing up from his seat.

Blake stood up to join him. "Yeah, same," she said.

"Not more fish!" Yang whinged. "Next time I'm here, I'm bringing nose pegs."

"Please consider sharing them," Ren said softly.

Jaune rolled his eyes. They didn't understand. Once they savoured the succulent texture of fish, they'd look past whatever smell it gave off. Just as long as they didn't eat any of his, that was.

He and Blake made their way back to the lunchline. They skipped by all the pointless stuff like fries, burgers and pizza. They had their eyes set on the true prize.

One last tuna fish stood proudly out. All the other students ignored it, completely ignorant to the aquatic treasure before them. It's lifeless glassy eyes and agape expression made Jaune's mouth salivate. He could already taste it.

His hand reached out to grab it. Since it was the last one, he'd have to eat it slowly in order to truly appreciate it. Such a divine creature deserved all the respect in the world.

As he reached for the tuna, Blake's hand bumped against his.

They froze.

Both their hands were held securely around the dead fish. Neither one of them loosened their grip.

The two of them slowly craned their heads to look at each other, their arms staying locked in place. Jaune felt the air stiffen as the sound of drums thumped in his head.

Blake's face was expressionless, but he recognised the look in her eyes. He recognised it because he felt the same determination burning behind his own.

"Jaune," Blake said with a steady voice.

"Blake," he responded, equally as calm.

"This is the last tuna."

"It is."

Silence.

"Jaune."

"Blake."

"Release the tuna."

"I will not."

More silence.

"Jaune."

"Blake."

"Fucking die."

"You first, bitch."

Without warning, Jaune immediately smacked her in the face with his lunch tray. Blake roared in frustration as she fell back.

The mine had been trodden on. Time to ride the explosion.

Jaune lunged for the fish, but his momentum was lost when Blake jumped on his back, hosting him away from it. She clawed and scratched at his face, while he did everything in his power to throw her off.

Students cried out as the two of them slammed into other tables, spilling food and drinks everywhere. They had seen one too many food fights to know where this was going.

"Ret go uh mah fafe!" Jaune slurred as Blake's thumbs pried their way into his mouth, stretching his lips.

Grabbing a nearby carton of apple juice, Jaune aimed the straw behind him and squeezed the contents out onto Blake's face.

Blake yelled and threw herself off of him, rubbing her eyes. Jaune didn't have time to waste on her. Tuna was in sight!

He ran past her while she was blinded. His goal was but a few inches away from him. He was getting closer. Running, running, running- FALLING!

Jaune slammed to the ground as something bound his legs together. Looking behind him, he saw a string of sausages tied around his legs. Blake was holding the other end, snarling at him.

She yanked him back and he followed suit. He scrambled on the floor, trying to pull himself forward, but Blake had the upper hand. When he was close enough, she grabbed a nearby kebab and brought it slamming down on him.

Jaune grabbed the closest thing to him- another lunch tray. He blocked the incoming meat strike before it could ruin his uniform.

"You will not deny me what is rightfully mine!" she bellowed, still hammering the kebab against his tray.

"The dead have no rights!" he spat back.

"I am death incarnate!"

She raised the kebab over her head, and he took the opportunity to kick her in the stomach while she was exposed. As she staggered, he picked himself up off the floor. He grabbed a hotdog, giving it a testing twirl. A fine weapon. He raised his lunch tray to his side, assuming a defensive stance.

Blake threw several plates like frisbees his way. He was ready for all of them.

Block!

Slice!

Block!

Slice!

Ow, one hit his leg…

Block!

Slice!

Shattered ceramic littered the floor. It crunched under Jaune's foot as he charged at Blake. He applied more ketchup to the top of the hot dog for maximum damage. He drove a piercing thrust straight for her.

But Blake did the unthinkable. She caught the hotdog between her teeth, chewed it up, then spat out a piece right in his face.

"My eyes! Jaune howled. His own ketchup had been turned against him. He stumbled around, desperately trying to regain his vision.

He heard running footsteps, but they weren't heading his way. They were running past him.

Deceitful minx! She was gonna grab the tuna while he was blinded!

Unacceptable. He needed to get his sight back. His hands madly grabbed onto a bowl filled with a cold liquid. He brought it up to his face and sniffed. It was milk.

He knew what he had to do.

He dunked his head into it and began swirling his face around. A few seconds later, he pulled his head out and blinked several times. His baptism in the holy waters of dairy had returned his sight to him. Praise be.

He saw Blake heading towards the tuna. She was close. In a few seconds, she'd have her dirty claws all over it.

Grabbing a bottle of ketchup and mustard, he placed them by his feet and squeezed as hard as he could.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

The red and yellow jetstream launched him into the air like a rocket. With no control over his flight pattern, he crashed into Blake the second he lost altitude. Blake yelped as he collided into her. Chairs, food and tables went flying upon impact.

Two bodies tangled with each other on the floor. Both of them abandoned their concepts of strategy and weaponry, instead choosing to punch and scratch at each other with their bare hands.

"What in blazes are they doing?" Weiss cried as they all watched the beastly display.

Blake and Jaune were rolling on the floor, covered in all manners of food and drink that could've been fed to so many homeless people. At one point, the two of them looked like they were trying to strangle each other with spaghetti strings.

"Don't look at me, I didn't teach Jaune how to fight like that," Pyrrha said.

"There's no way this can all be over one fish," Ren said. "I know the two of them are passionate about getting what they want, but I didn't think they'd be… this passionate."

"It looks like fun!" Nora said, tugging Ren's arm eagerly. "Come on, Ren, let's join in! Remember the last food fight we had?"

"I remember," Ren said, pulling his arm back. "Which is exactly why I'm not joining in."

"Yang, you gotta do something!" Ruby said.

"Huh? Me? Why me? I didn't start this!" Yang said.

"Because you're the only one strong enough to pull them apart!"

"What about Pyrrha?"

"We can't ask Pyrrha! She's still eating her lunch!"

True enough, Pyrrha wasn't even halfway through her salad, whereas Yang had a clean plate. A champion like her needed her food.

Pyrrha smiled sheepishly. "If you wouldn't mind, Yang…"

Yang rolled her eyes. "Ugh, fine. But if any of that food gets in my hair, there's gonna be trouble."

She stood up and walked towards the two squabbling teens. They had somehow gotten themselves tangled together by the same spaghetti string, and were now competing in a fierce headbutting match.

"Alright, kiddies, pack it in," Yang groaned. "I don't know what's gotten into the two of you, but this has to stop-

Jaune and Blake both glared at Yang and hissed at her. Spit was dripping from both their mouths. Their eyes were ablaze with animalistic fury. Yang flinched. Even she was wary of breaking them up now. She had never seen anyone look so frenzied.

She slowly made her way back to her chair. "Uh uh, I ain't getting involved with that," she muttered. "I say we just let them wear each other out."

Jaune stood up and ripped himself free of his spaghetti restraint. Of course, this meant Blake was now free too. She would've lunged at him if it weren't for the ace up his sleeve. He quickly grabbed two fish sticks and held them out.

Jaune felt unclean holding them. The poor fish had been butchered, battered, breaded and bastardized into these puny orange rectangles. It was a shadow of its former self. But at it least it would keep the vixen at bay.

Blake's face paled. "You keep those false idols away from me," she seethed.

Jaune bared his teeth. "Burn, Belladonna, burn!"

He formed the two sticks into the shape of a cross, and pressed them to her skin. Blake screeched like her body was on fire. She writhed in pain as discount bootleg fish rubbed against her arm.

Jaune kept moving forward, pushing her back. His fingers trembled. He wouldn't be able to hold onto these things for much longer. This was torturous for him too. He wanted so badly to drop them and wash his hands clean from their filth.

That moment of weakness was all Blake needed. She kicked the fish sticks out of his hand then jumped at him. Her assault had him flying backwards. His body skidded across a table, knocking even more stuff onto the ground. Blake straddled his chest, punching him while he tried to slap her off.

"Shameful, isn't it?"

The group turned around to see Cardin now sitting at the same table as them.

"Cardin, what are you doing here?" Ruby said.

"Don't mind me," he sniffed. "Just enjoying my trip to the zoo."

"This isn't funny!" Weiss snapped. "Look at the state of the two of them! They're fighting like cats and… well, cats!"

"I'd get used to it if I were you," Cardin said cryptically.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll see… you'll see…"

Blake had Jaune pinned on the table. She grabbed his wrists and slammed his hands above his head, preventing him from using them. "You made do this, Jaune," she whispered venomously. "I didn't want to do this, but that thing with the fish sticks was the last straw!"

She held in her other hand something that made Jaune's heart sink. His blood turned to ice as he prayed for the Gods to be merciful. He swallowed a heavy lump in his throat.

Someone had left out a spray bottle in the canteen. In their skirmish, Blake had been the one to pick it up. Now she had it pointed at him...

"You wouldn't dare!" he gasped.

Blake smiled was as twisted as her heart. "I don't dare- I truth!"

"... what does that mean-?"

Squirt

Jaune screamed, thrashing his head around as water got in his face. It was so wet! So cold!

Squirt

He screamed again. "Stop it! It's so annoying!"

Squirt

"Have mercy! Have mercy!" If he got any water in his hair, he would have to dry it again, comb it again, tell himself ten times in the mirror that he looked okay again, and it would be such a nuisance!

Blake's finger twitched on the trigger, but then a strange purple aura covering her. Suddenly, she was pulled into the air with a startled yelp and left to hover there.

Jaune breathed a sigh of relief. The Gods had listened to his prayers and saved him.

At least, that's what he thought until he too was yanked upwards, joining in Blake in suspension. Jaune looked down and saw it wasn't the Gods who had saved him- it was Ms Goodwitch.

Even then, 'saved' might have been the wrong word…

"Mr Arc… Ms Belladonna…" Goodwitch said their names like she was uttering a curse. "I don't think I need to tell you how many detention sessions you'll be getting from this, do I?"

The two of them glanced nervously at each other. Whatever tension they had between them was now extinguished. Now, they'd be suffering together during Goddwitch's infamous punishment sessions. Not even Yang could make jokes about them.

Whilst thinking about his impending doom, he saw Cardin standing by the food table. Most of the food was either on the floor or destroyed, except the tuna.

Cardin gave him that same disgusted look from last time, shook his head, then walked out on the cafeteria.

He took the tuna with him.