Thank you to everyone who read my last chapter, and especially to those who left reviews. Sorry for the hurt it caused :(

This chapter has a couple of little throwbacks, see if you can pick them. Hope you enjoy!

I do not own The Brave or any of it's characters... But I wish I did!

Chapter 22

Jaz lay in bed the next morning in the small bungalow out the back of the Vallins' property. It had belonged to Elijah and was where he and Jaz had stayed on previous visits.

Elijah's parents had welcomed Jaz with open arms last night and they had cried and laughed and everything in between. It was always easy to see where Elijah had inherited his easy and loving nature from, his parents and extended family were all exactly the same, and for some reason, they had all accepted and welcomed Jaz as part of their family.

Jaz hadn't slept a wink. She had laid there staring into the night, gripped by insomnia for a variety of reasons.

Firstly, she had been overwhelmed with the memories of Elijah, of their friendship and of their previous visits to this family home. She missed him so much and while she had many happy memories to treasure, the heartache of him dying in her arms is something she would never forget, and could never un-see in her head. The images imprinted in her mind are still vivid; the same images that often haunted her nightmares, and his devastating loss was very much something she was still learning to live with.

Secondly, she had been worried about the nightmares. She hadn't endured one since she had been sharing a room and bed with Adam – with Dalton, and she didn't know if she was strong enough to cope with them here, where her emotions were already heightened.

Lastly, there was Dalton himself. She felt guilty that she had left the cabin while he had been out, but she had done it for self-preservation, because she wasn't wired to be able to cope with this amount of emotion. Her upbringing had her closed off from an early age, and letting Dalton in, was proving to be a huge learning curve.

She had sent a very short, "Arrived safe and sound" text when she had landed, as he always expected, and she hadn't wanted him to worry. But when he had tried to call her soon after, she had let it ring out. She knew she would be seeing him in two days, but she needed those two days to get her walls back up and in place, and the big gaping hole of emptiness in her stomach to refill.

Dalton lay in his own bed that same morning, having also endured a night of insomnia.

He was worried about Jaz.

He knew that leaving without saying goodbye had been for her own self-preservation, and he was glad she had still text him to let him know of her safe arrival, but that didn't stop his worry. Not only was she dealing with whatever was between the two of them, but she would also be battling a whirlwind of emotions that being back with Elijah's family and in his family home would cultivate.

He was also worried about her nightmares… and his own. They had managed to keep them at bay with each other's company throughout the night. He could handle his own; he'd been dealing with them for a really long time. But he didn't want Jaz to have to endure hers.

He wanted to call her. But she hadn't answered his call last night, or replied to his voicemail, and he wondered if it was just better to give her some space at the moment.

He couldn't get his mind off her though, and laying in this bed that smelled of her apple scented shampoo and reminded him of everything they had shared was not helping. He got himself up and decided to go for a run, before heading over to his sister's house later that day. He needed to escape this bedroom and try and get Jaz off his mind.

Elijah's family loved having Jaz visit them. Although it was a sad time for them all, it did provide some small comfort by being together and keeping Elijah's memories alive with each other. They spent the day reminiscing and trading stories. Jaz told his parents stories from their time on base, at least the ones she was allowed to tell them. In turn, they regaled her with tales from his childhood.

It was difficult for Jaz to be here without Elijah. He had been the extrovert to her introvert and she was struggling a bit with the emotion of being there. He had always taken care of her; at least as much as Jaz would let someone take care of her. But this time she didn't have anyone to do that, or to guide her, or to tease her out of her shell.

This time she was all alone.

While they were all lovely and she genuinely liked being around them and their warmth and acceptance… her buffer was gone, and it felt like she was losing him all over again.

To add to it all, she couldn't stop thinking about Adam, and that gaping hole she could feel in her stomach, was starting to hurt.

She had listened to the voicemail he had left on her phone last night multiple times. Despite what had happened, his voice was still a comfort to her and hearing it, while she was here with Elijah's family made her feel so many things. Comfort, yes, but other things that she just couldn't put her finger on. She hadn't called him back or text him though, and he hadn't made any further attempts at communication.

She wondered what he was doing and whether he was thinking about her at all. Her hands itched to send him a text, but her head kept overriding them. They were supposed to be going back to what they were before the last three weeks had happened; to the Jaz and Dalton they were prior to that, and that Jaz wasn't clingy. And she certainly wasn't pining for him.

Definitely not.

She definitely wasn't remembering what it was like to wake up wrapped in his arms, or how soft, but firm his lips were. She definitely wasn't thinking about how his hands had felt on her as they explored every part of her body, or the way she reacted to him. And she definitely wasn't recalling the small moments like drinking coffee together in the morning, fishing on the jetty, watching the stars, being curled up together on the couch or playing with Patton together.

Ok fine. She was definitely pining for him. So much it hurt.

But she would be fine; she would get over this. It had only been a day.

After heading out for a morning hike with Patton, Dalton set off to meet his sisters for lunch.

All of his nieces and nephews were off at summer camp, but he would see them later on in the summer.

He wouldn't say he was super close to his sisters, but they all got along fine. Their childhood had been far from ideal, and that has left its scars, but he made the effort when he was stateside to re-connect with them when he could.

As usual, they asked him a bunch of questions that he just couldn't and wouldn't answer. They wanted to know details about his job mostly, but being Special Forces, it was all confidential. It was for the best anyway, he wouldn't want them to know what he had done, what he had seen or what he was capable of. It's a part of his life that he compartmentalises when he's home and that he wanted to protect them from.

Getting the message loud and clear they instead asked him about the people he works with. They remembered most of their names from the last time they caught up so Dalton gave them a brief update on them all.

He subconsciously left Jaz until the end, and as he looked down at his plate to give them a brief update, his sisters exchanged a glance with each other. They had wondered about Jaz on previous occasions, but this time his voice had become noticeably softer with a hint of wistfulness as he spoke about her, albeit professionally, and they knew what they had always suspected.

They knew better than to prod Adam on this topic though, for now at least.

Instead, they enjoyed their time with their brother, just hoping that maybe they might get to meet Jaz one day.

That same evening, Dalton checked his phone for the zillionth time, but there was still no message or call from Jaz. He wasn't surprised but having no contact with her gave him a strange sensation of emptiness throughout him. He knew realistically that he could just call her again, but he already knew he would get voicemail again.

He just couldn't stop thinking about her.

He wondered what she was doing and if she was ok. Going to see the Vallins' was always going to be difficult and bittersweet and he wished he could be there for her, but if they were trying to go back to what they were three weeks ago, then he had to try and keep some distance. He certainly wasn't pining for her.

Definitely not.

He definitely wasn't remembering what it was like to wrap his arms around her and hold her close, or how he loved to bury his nose in her apple scented hair. He definitely wasn't remembering what her lips had tasted like or how her hands on him made him feel like he was on fire. And he definitely wasn't remembering teaching her how to fish, taking her hiking or what she looked like in that bikini.

Shit. He was definitely pining for her. More than he ever thought he would.

But he had this. He would compartmentalise these feelings. It had only been a day after all.

Jaz woke with a start the next morning and sat up straight in bed; her hair falling around her face and a sheen of sweat covering her goose bump riddled skin.

Fuck.

Despite trying to stay awake, she must have drifted off in the early hours of the morning and her mind had led her straight into a nightmare.

Breathing raggedly and trying to get her bearings, she finally remembered she was at the Vallins' and despite reaching out beside her looking for something, for someone, she was alone.

This nightmare is one she hadn't experienced before. In it, Elijah and Dalton both lay dead on the floor, with bullet wounds in their foreheads. She stood over them and when she looked down, the smoking gun was in her own hand.

Her first instinct was to pick up her phone, but once it was in her hand, she turned it over and over for a very long time before placing it back on the night stand and just stared at it. She was almost willing it to ring or vibrate with a message, but it didn't.

She knew she needed to get up and start getting ready for the day ahead, but with those visions still crystal clear in her head, she was finding it challenging to do so. Instead she looked around the room and her gaze landed on a picture of Elijah in his army uniform. It was a candid picture of him laughing, and Jaz smiled wistfully at it. That was exactly how she remembered him. So many of her memories had him looking exactly like that in her head and she missed him more than ever in that moment.

After a small internal battle, she picked up her phone again and opened up her photos. She couldn't help but scroll to the selfies of herself and Adam that she had taken at the waterfall view point just two days ago.

Her throat tightened looking at them being silly together and kissing each other's cheeks. But when she got to the picture with Dalton kissing her on the mouth, her chest physically ached, as if someone was sitting on it.

She missed him.

She missed him so much.

She got up out of bed and threw on some clothes. She needed to go for a run. Physical activity had always helped to diminish the visions in her nightmares, and hopefully they might help get her mind off Adam too.

Dalton was up and hiking through the Blue Ridge Mountains as the sun rose.

He had barely slept again, and when he did manage to doze off, he was plagued with visions that he had been free of for the last few weeks. He would never forget seeing Jaz in the white outfit covered in blood when they blew up the door on the van, but seeing it in his nightmares had him waking up covered in sweat, barely being able to breathe.

The immediate scent of apples on his nose had him checking his phone, but there was still nothing from Jaz, not that he had expected there to be.

He missed her.

He really missed her.

So much so, that while he stood looking out across the treetops, he opened up their team WhatsApp chat and scrolled through to find the selfie that Jaz had sent to the group before Amir and McG had arrived. He saved it to his photos so he had easy access to it, and couldn't help but smile as he stared at the picture.

Jaz's big beautiful smile and those eyes that can look right into your soul were both on prominent display and he ached, physically ached just looking at it.

He startled a little bit as a message arrived on his phone, but it wasn't from Jaz. It was Preach to their group chat.

Looking forward to seeing all your faces tomorrow – Preach.

Dalton was really looking forward to seeing Preach tomorrow. After the scare he'd given them all, seeing him up and around is something they all needed to see.

Me too, big guy – Top

I'm so excited, I feel like I should shave for the occasion – McG

Ha! So you can look like an 8 year old? – Amir

At least I'm not the same height as an 8 year old – McG

No Chaka Khan for you – Amir

See you kids in the morning. Jaz, see you tomorrow evening – Preach

:) – Jaz

There it was. She didn't say anything, but she must be ok if she had replied to the group chat.

Dalton thought back to the ten days before Jaz arrived at his cabin. She had not replied to any of their group chats or any personal messages. Knowing that she had seen the messages was the only way they knew she was ok.

When she had shown up at the cabin, Dalton had urged her to let the guys know she was alive and ok, and he was happy to see that she had remembered that. No matter what the circumstances, they all needed to know that they were all ok. They were a team and too much had happened these last few years to take anything for granted.

As Dalton started to head back towards his cabin, he couldn't get Jaz and her beautiful smile out of his mind. But he would see her tomorrow. He just had to get through today to see with his own eyes that she was ok.

The next morning Jaz woke up exactly the same way she had the morning before. Sweaty, out of breath and gripped by another nightmare.

Damn it.

She had tried to tire herself out the day before to try and fall asleep deeply enough to bypass any nightmares. She had run in the morning, gone for a long hike with Elijah's family during the day and given herself a punishing circuit of push ups, sit ups, burpees and chin ups in the evening before dinner. With several alcoholic beverages after dinner, enjoying the Vallins' company, she had assumed the combined effort would have led to a deep sleep.

She should've known better.

The images that plagued her overnight were still imprinted in her head as she sat, trying to get her breath back. She picked up her phone, but there were no messages. She knew by now that the rest of her team were either already on a flight or heading to the airport on their way to Preach's.

She wasn't leaving for the airport until later this afternoon, and she had mixed feelings about it. She couldn't wait to see Preach. Knowing he was doing so much better and gradually getting back to normal, or their sense of normal, was such a relief.

And she couldn't deny that she ached to see Adam. Every fibre of her being ached to see him, as if he was the glue she needed to piece herself back together.

It had only been two days, but the pain deep in her chest wouldn't go away, the gaping hole in her stomach just got deeper and deeper and her thoughts never seemed to be free of him. Those three weeks she spent with him at the cabin were easily the best weeks of her life, and she was having trouble letting it all go.

Having said all that, she didn't know how she would cope seeing him later today. It was all still too fresh and she didn't know how she could just pretend like the last three weeks didn't happen.

How could she pretend that they hadn't slept in the same bed and found comfort in each other's warmth? That they hadn't kissed each other until they ran out of breath and then kissed each other again? That they hadn't explored each other's bodies and made love passionately, multiple times? That they, or at least she, hadn't experienced feelings that she had never felt before, and still didn't know how to verbalise?

How could she possibly try and keep that from the other three after only a two day break? She didn't think she could. They were all elite in their jobs, but this might be the one cover that she just couldn't play out.

Dalton's plane landed in Long Beach right on time that morning and as his plane taxied on the runway, making its way towards the gate he leant his head back on the head rest and took a couple of deep breaths.

He was tired. It had been a super early flight and he hadn't bothered to go to sleep beforehand, knowing that he had to be up well before sunrise. He hadn't slept on the flight either, there was too much going through his head for his body to be able settle enough to get some rest.

He would be seeing Preach in a matter of minutes and for that he was truly thankful. He had missed him. But he would also be seeing Jaz later on today and he had a million different feelings about that.

The first thing he did was collect Patton from the airline officials. He was getting to be a very well-travelled dog, but Dalton was glad to see he had coped well with the flight. He would love running around in Preach's big back yard.

Waiting to collect his bag from the conveyor belt, he felt a hand clap his shoulder and when he turned around, there was Preach looking fit, healthy and as tall as always.

"Preach." He exclaimed with a wide grin as he stepped forward and gave him a hug.

"Good to see you, Top." Preach said, hugging him back

"You too buddy, you too." Dalton said, so grateful that Hoffman hadn't managed to take Preach away from them all.

As Preach bent down to give Patton a scratch behind the ears, Dalton had a quick look around, "Amir here yet?"

"Yeah, he's just gone to the prayer room. He's going to meet us at the café while we wait for McG." Preach replied, slightly distracted.

"Everything ok?" Dalton asked Preach, noticing him frown a little.

Preach pressed his lips together before asking, "You heard from Jaz?"

Dalton checked his phone quickly, but there was no notification and after the familiar feeling of disappointment, he just shook his head.

Preach sighed and took a slight pause before breaking to Dalton, "She text me about an hour ago… she's not coming this weekend."

Dalton didn't respond straight away, but Preach didn't miss the colour draining from his face or the look of devastation creep across it.

Dalton was in shock. Jaz wasn't coming?

He cleared his throat and kept his gaze low, trying to keep any emotion on his face from Preach as he asked, "Oh… uhh - why's that?"

Preach stared back at him for a second before pointing to Top's bag on the conveyor belt behind them. Dalton grabbed it and Preach steered him towards the café, grabbing a seat before continuing this conversation.

"I thought you might know why," was all Preach said.

Dalton just looked back at him, still a little lost for words. To say he was devastated was an understatement. He knew he had been looking forward to seeing Jaz again, but until he heard that she wasn't coming, he hadn't realised how much. Those pains in his chest were back with a vengeance, so much so that he was finding it difficult to breathe.

Preach just sat observing him, internally shaking his head at these two,

"What happened at the cabin, Adam?" He prodded gently.

Dalton didn't know how to answer that, because the truth was, he didn't know what had happened. He knew that it was probably the best three weeks of his life, definitely in fact. He knew that he had never been happier than spending that time with Jaz, and that she had come to the cabin in the first place. And he knew that when Jaz left, it had thrown a spanner into his emotions that he was still battling to understand.

When Dalton just looked down and didn't offer an answer, Preach continued, "Have you talked to her in the last couple of days?"

Dalton kept his head low, but shook his head in response.

Preach sighed again. "Look, Adam, I've made my own assumptions about what's going on. You can either confirm or deny this, but I'm guessing you took my advice and let yourself feel something. And I'm also guessing that you and Jaz have no idea how to deal with the way you're both feeling?"

Dalton took a deep breath; Preach was as perceptive as always.

"There's – there's just so much confusion about everything. Most of all our jobs. And that's always going to be in the way. She deserves to be happy Preach."

"So do you." Preach replied simply.

Dalton finally looked up at him and Preach could see the truth in his eyes.

"I don't even know how Jaz feels." Dalton spoke softly, feeling a little helpless, but done with hiding how he was feeling, especially from Preach.

"Really?" Preach asked him with a raised eyebrow.

Dalton just looked back at him.

With a sigh, Preach asked him, "Ok ask yourself this. Why did Jaz choose your cabin and you to flee to? Not McG or myself. You."

Again, Dalton just stared back at him, again at a loss for words.

"I understand the confusion. I'm guessing there are a lot of blurred lines and feelings going on right now. But when life gets blurry, you need to adjust your focus. You live out the confusion until it becomes clear. What's important here, Adam? What would take the shattered look off of your face? What would help you sleep? It's clear you haven't been, you look like hell."

Ignoring the look Dalton gave him, Preach asked one last poignant question, "What would make you happy?"

Preach tried hard to get his words to register with Dalton. He'd never seen him like this, looking so despondent.

Before they could discuss anything else, Dalton saw Amir approaching their table and he stood up to shake his hand and clap him on the back.

"Feels like I only saw you a week or so ago." Amir said in his soft manner.

Dalton forced out a chuckle, not wanting Amir to be drawn into his drama, but little did he know that Amir had already read his facial expressions as he approached the table. Preach had already filled him in on Jaz's decision not to join them this weekend and he had drawn his own conclusions.

While they ordered coffee, the conversation turned very generic, until Preach stood up to go and meet McG. When a lull of silence fell over them, Amir reached into his jacket pocket and took out an envelope and handed it to Dalton.

"What's this?" Dalton questioned.

Amir just gestured for him to open it and when he did so he watched a multitude of emotions and looks cross Dalton's face. Curiosity, shock, intrigue, yearning, longing, acceptance and… something else.

A regular person probably wouldn't have observed all of this in Dalton's measured expressions. He was a master of façade, but this was Amir, a master of observation and he didn't miss a trick.

Dalton looked up at Amir quickly before glancing back down at the photos of himself and Jaz, from the day they went fishing at the lake. He remembered this day vividly, but he had no idea that Amir had taken these photos. They showed himself and Jaz sitting next to each other, Jaz's hand on his cheek, buried in his beard, their eyes locked together and smiling almost tenderly at each other, as if sharing a secret.

Amir hope he hadn't overstepped and just said softly, "I thought you might want to see them."

He was right. This was exactly what he needed to see, especially after listening to what Preach had said a few minutes earlier.

"You're not mad are you?" Amir asked when there was still no response from Dalton.

Still not taking his eyes from the photos, Dalton shook his head and replied slowly, "Nope, not mad. In fact, some things just became a lot clearer."

Amir smiled to himself, he hoped that meant what he was hoping.

Dalton held the photos in his hand a little longer before putting them back in the envelope and putting them in his jacket pocket. He hoped the decision and plan he had just made, would work out.

Seeing Preach approaching, he stood up to greet McG.

They shook hands and hugged, before McG blurted out, "So you going to get our girl or what?"

Jaz and the Vallins' had gone out for lunch and they still thought she was leaving later that afternoon. She hadn't told them about the decision she had made to cancel on her long weekend with her team. She figured she would still head to the airport and make a decision of where to go once she got there.

It hadn't been easy sending that text to Preach this morning, especially since she offered no explanation, but it's what she needed to do to protect herself.

She was trying to save herself from the pain; the pain of losing another person in her life who meant so much to her. The walls that she had wanted to rebuild around herself for protection, still lay in a rubble and rebuilding them was going to take a lot longer than two days.

If she distanced herself now, by the time they headed back to Incirlik, she would be fine and any awkwardness would be long forgotten.

That's not to say she wasn't breaking on the inside at the thought of not seeing Adam for a few months. That was one of the hardest decisions. He had become like oxygen to her. A necessity. Just thinking about him made her ache deep within her chest; an ache she had never experienced with anyone else.

Adam was like no one else she had ever met, and she's certain she wouldn't ever meet anyone else like him. The fact that she couldn't have him was just cruel, but it's what she was signed up for.

Feeling the sadness deep down in her bones, she excused herself from Elijah's family and walked out to the bungalow to pack up her belongings again.

Once she got inside, her phoned beeped with a message and looking down at her phone she was surprised to see it was from Amir. It contained one line:

Thought you might like to see these – Amir

Following that sentence there were three photos attached and seeing them made Jaz's mouth fall open in shock. Amir had sent her the same photos from the lake that he had shown to Dalton earlier, and she was startled at what she saw in them. The expressions on both their faces and the look in their eyes spoke volumes. She was surprised that Amir had taken these photos, but they hit her with a jolt of realisation and she couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Hearing a knock at the door startled her out of her reverie, but she figured it was one of the Vallin's. Still clutching her phone in her hand, she walked to the door and flung it open, only to gasp at who she saw standing there.

"Top?" She asked in disbelief as those pangs in her chest struck her again suddenly and she felt her heart begin to pound.

"What - what are you... what are you doing here?" She managed to stutter out.

Dalton looked right into her eyes, his deep blue eyes holding the attention of her own. He just shrugged his shoulders and said gently, "Couldn't help it."

Thanks for reading! Did you get the throwbacks? They were:

- The pictures that Amir took of Jaz and Dalton from Chapter 14.

- The little phrase "Couldn't help it" that they exchanged several times in Chapter 20.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, there is obviously more to come. I purposely left details about Elijah's family, where they live and about Dalton's sisters very vague. I will probably introduce them in a greater capacity at a later stage if this turns into a big long story. I'm a little undecided at the moment.

Tell me what you thought and thanks again for reading XXX