Don't remember why I wrote this in the first place, but TADA! BONUS CHAPTER. Picks up after the end of chapter 2. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Don't own One Piece.
After Dragon hangs up, he immediately reaches for another Den Den Mushi, one he knows connects to a certain top-hatted young man...
"Sabo," The leader of the Revolutionary Army starts as soon as the other end picks up. "What do you think about having Luffy marry Tsuru-san?"
Over the transponder, Dragon can clearly hear Koala complaining loudly after Sabo spits tea all over her. His second-in-command coughs before asking in an almost flat tone.
"...Dragon-san, since when have you began telling jokes?"
"I'm not."
On a ship somewhere on the Grand Line, Sabo deadpans.
"Is this 'Tsuru', by any chance, the one I'm thinking of, the 'Great Staff Officer' Vice-Admiral Tsuru, or is there someone else with that name?"
Sabo hears from his boss the answer he dreads.
"The former." Dragon replies with an equally flat voice.
The blonde's response is calm, instantaneous, and loud.
"HELL NO." Sabo pretty much shouts in the snail's face. "No offense to her, but that lady is the same age as Shitty Gramps. Hancock is pushing the line as is," He grits out as he remembers the female warlord's tenacious -not to mention weird- flirting with his baby brother, "and you're asking about a grandma?!"
Dragon wisely shoves all responsibility onto his father.
Hearing that it was Garp who called to ask, Sabo facepalms.
"I figured as much." He mutters under his breath. Only that crazy geezer could come up with such a harebrained idea.
His boss does not hesitate to add fuel to the fire that he's sure is burning somewhere inside Sabo. "I'm pretty sure Sengoku has something to do with it."
"I'm calling Ace." And thinking of what horrible things to do to Sengoku for giving Garp this shitty idea.
"I told him no."
"I'm still calling Ace." Screams of 'Luffy's chastity is on the line!' repeats itself at high speed in Sabo's mind.
The moment the call is closed, Sabo bounds out onto deck and screams at the water until he's wheezing and out of breath.
He doesn't care if his crew is looking at him like he's lost his mind.
…
"ACEEEEEEEEEE!"
Ace barely refrains from throwing his personal Den Den Mushi all across the galley when he answers to an almost frantic cry from his sworn brother.
"DON'T F*ING BLOW MY EARS OUT YOU MORON! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU CALLING FOR?!"
Ace immediately returns fire by shouting his answer at equal volume.
"KEEP LU AWAY FROM SHITTY GRAMPS. FAR, FAR, FAR, FAR, FAAAAR AWAY. AND AWAY FROM ANY OTHER MARINES FOR THAT MATTER OF FACT!"
"HECK YEAH I WILL BUT WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT?! AND IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN CONTROL WHERE THAT STUPID OLD MAN GOES!"
"GARP CALLED DRAGON JUST NOW AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE THOUGHT ABOUT HAVING TSURU MARRY LU!"
Garp called Dragon and asked him what he thought about having Tsuru marry Lu… ?
"WHAT?!" Ace screams as he registers what he had just heard. "TSURU AS IN VICE ADMIRAL TSURU?"
"YESSSSSSS!"
"NOOOOOOO!"
"Why are you two having a screaming match over the Den Den yoi?" Marco strolls into the room after hearing the commotion from above deck, only to come in to the sight of his family staring amusedly at an overly animated second division commander. He's missed most of the conversation, unfortunately, so he doesn't quite know what's going on.
"Oh, hi Marco!" Sabo chirps a greeting, having met the Whitebeard's first division commander on occasions that he easily recognizes the older man's voice. "Nothing much, we were just freaking out over something about Luffy is all."
"As usual." Ace tacks on.
Marco raises a brow. "...okay?"
Enough said. He doesn't want to know.
Ace turns back to the transponder.
"WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT LUFFY GETTING MARRIED ANYWAY? HE'S TOO YOUNG FOR MARRIAGE!"
As Marco walks away, he looks down at the day's paper in his hand. And I was going to show him this too.
"BECAUSE LU'S MOM IS BIG MOM AND SHE ARRANGED A MARRIAGE FOR HIM!"
"SAY WHAT!?"
Oh well. Guess I don't have to. That marriage bit is new, though.
Sunburn is annoying.