A/N: I don't own the rights to any of these characters, settings or anything to do with Wizarding World. This is a work of fiction based on the universe created by J.K Rowling.

CHAPTER NINETEEN - PETER

October 1978

Peter traced his fingers along the fraying edges of the armchair. The room was warm, almost uncomfortably hot. Sirius and Remus sat on the armchair next to Peter, Remus was running his fingers through Sirius' hair muttering in a low tone. Peter rolled his eyes as the two of them chuckled together and Sirius lent his head up to kiss Remus. Peter shuffled in his seat as Sturgis Podmore walked into the room and waved to Dumbledore who rose from his armchair and waved his hand, silencing the room.

"Podmore, good man, give us an update on the Ministry." Dumbledore said and sat back down, eyeing Podmore.

Podmore strode to the front of the room and removed his hat, "Barty Crouch has really made a name for himself as a judge in the Ministry."

"Half of Azkaban ended up there because his ruling" Dedalus Diggle squeaked.

"I'll send him the other half soon!" Alastor Moody growled.

Chuckles erupted around the room. Sirius lent over the arm of his chair to high five Mundungus Fletcher. Peter shuffled uncomfortably in his chair. He gazed around the room, the majority of the Order of the Phoenix had come to the headquarters that night. Pairs of people were strewn around the room, some of them entwined clinging to each other while they had a moment of safety. Some of the members were laughing together, slapping each other on the back, others were leaning close to one another muttering in hushed whispers and discussing the war together. Peter sat alone. Peter turned his gaze back to the fireplace and heard Podmore clear his throat.

"Yes thank you Alastor, those Death Eaters remain to be caught. But if I may continue…"

"Sorry Sturgis!" Alastor growled, "How are things with Minchum?"

"Minchum's support has been declining in the Ministry. More and more officials are turning away from him. From what I have seen, Minchum keeps holed up in his office all day. I haven't seen any movement from the other side around him."

"Who will try to take his place?" Elphias Doge asked.

"Millicent Bagnold has been gaining more popularity but it's hard to say if she will be successful in the near future. Minchum needs to be careful, he's short sighted and if he doesn't start thinking and fighting back more creatively he will be out the door."

Podmore strode along the fireplace and clasped his hands behind back before continuing, "There is unrest and there is mistrust. The Ministry is a delicate place to be right now. Rookwood has penetrated the Department of Mysteries more than I expected him to. I fear his network has expanded past what even I can see."

Peter heard the concerned whispers around him. Remus twisted around and gazed at Sirius, they stared at each other Sirius pulled Remus closer to him. Peter's stomach squirmed. No one nudged Peter, no one whispered to him in worried tones, no one held on to him as if it could be their last night together.

Sturgis Podmore came to a stop in front of the fireplace and folded his arms, "The Ministry has no idea how much they're losing this war by. The Death Eaters they have caught so far are minor in the grand scheme of things. Soon it won't matter anyway because if He Who Shall Not Be Named will have infiltrated enough of The Ministry to save who he needs anyway."

The room filled with murmurs again and Podmore nodded at Dumbledore before sitting back down in a dining chair near the fire. Professor Dumbledore rose from his armchair and turned to face the room.

"These are dark times in our world. We know that." Dumbledore surveyed the room and Peter avoided his eyes, "We need to remember what we have done so far and what are still yet to do. Hope remains as long as there are those who will fight for it."

Sirius and Remus cheered and Peter began clapping with the others. His stomach squirmed and he stared at his feet. Peter had gone out on a few assignments since he graduated, once with Remus and another with Carodac and Benjy. Of course Benjy was dead now. So many people were dead now. Peter wondered how long it would be until he as dead too. Alice and Frank walked into the room, interrupting Peter's thoughts, and Marlene trailed in behind them. Peter watched Marlene weave her way through the room and sit down on Dorcas' lap. Dorcas wrapped his arms around Marlene's waist and kissed her gently on her cheek. Peter felt his face grow hot. Peter watched as they whispered to one another, Marlene rested her hand at the base of Dorcas' neck and looked worried. Peter hadn't dated anyone since Marlene, he didn't really want to. There were still nights he couldn't sleep because he missed her so much. And here she was, happily moved on and wrapped up with Dorcas of all people.

"Frank, Alice." Dumbledore said, bringing Peter's attention back to the meeting, "Any news from your shift this evening?"

Frank removed his hat, looking forlorn, "We tracked Macnair across the Hampshire countryside. Kingsley joined us tonight and thank Merlin for that."

"With Kingsley we managed to block him in and capture him." Alice said.

The room erupted into cheers and clapping. Sirius whistled loudly and winked at Frank. Peter clapped along with the others and looked back at Marlene who was now beaming and hugging Dorcas. Peter frowned and looked back at Alice, she stood next to Frank looking concerned.

"Yes, yes it's great that we caught him", Frank said and wrapping his arm around Alice, "However, Kingsley's concern is that while Barty Crouch is quite the judge these days there are clearly too many others on the inside that seem to be slipping people like Macnair back out."

Alice frowned, "Kingsley is doing his best to keep him in there, others too. But we can no longer act on the assumption that the Ministry is intact. They have clearly been infiltrated."

Peter smiled to himself and watched Professor Dumbledore pinch the bridge of his nose. Of course The Ministry was infiltrated, why would anyone think otherwise? They were weaker than the other side, much more naive than the other side and they were certainly less than the other side. Peter scoffed to himself and started pulling at a loose thread on his armchair again as Dumbledore spoke once more.

"We will need to double our efforts in The Ministry, all those who hold a position there please come with me to the games room. Everyone else, please stay and enjoy one another's company. We need moments like this to remember why we are fighting in the first place."

"Here, here!" Dedalus squeaked.

"Here, here!" The room echoed and erupted into a wave of separate conversations.

Peter found himself watching Marlene again. She was entwined with Dorcas on an armchair, lent back together with her head resting on his shoulder. She smiled has Dorcas looped his fingers through hers and kissed her. Peter glared at them and turned to look back at Sirius and Remus. Sirius was massaging Remus's shoulders and muttering quickly. Peter felt the anger grow in him.

Everyone always had someone; someone to care for them when they left for an Order shift, someone, someone to hold them during the darker days, someone to be there. It took two weeks for someone to even tell Peter that Benjy was dead. Carodac had broken down and has been staying with the others for support. Because of course the others all live together now. Remus, Sirius, James and Lily. One big happy family, while Peter was left out again.

Sturgis Podmore approached, "Sirius my boy, I need the cloak again. Do you think that will be an issue?"

"Can't see why it would be a problem, I'll let James know when we get home. He'll have it to you in no time." Sirius said and dropped his hands from Remus' shoulders, "Would love a word as well, would love to pick your brain about your spying tactics."

"Of course, let's have a cuppa and a chat." Sturgis replied and gestured to the door.

Sirius planted a kiss on Remus and clambered off the armchair, following Sturgis out the room. Remus moved from the floor onto the armchair and turned to Peter.

"How are things going in the shop Peter?"

"I sell artefacts Remus, its dull work."

"Have you thought about doing something else then?"

"I can't, can I?" Peter frowned, "Dumbledore needs eyes in Diagon Alley. Working in an artefacts shop gets him that."

"Others work there too don't they?"

"There are others yeah. And sometimes we get some interesting people that come in to the shop but mostly it's a lonely place to be."

Remus smiled at Peter sadly, "You should come by the house more often. You know the door is always open for you."

Peter rolled his eyes and stood up, "I don't need your pity invite."

"Peter it wasn't a pity invite, I really would like to see more of you."

Peter scoffed, "Whatever."

Peter turned to leave the room when James suddenly came barrelling through the door, his chest heaving as he panted in anger. Remus was suddenly on his feet and next to Peter. Lily came rushing into the room after James and grabbed James' hand.

"James, calm down." Lily urged.

James yanked his hand away, "Don't tell me to calm down Evans."

Remus pushed past Peter and reached James as Sirius came rushing into the room. Peter slowly trailed across the room to join them. Remus wrapped his arm around Lily and frowned at James. Sirius pushed his sleeves up and turned to James.

"What's happened?" Sirius asked.

"We were approached by Dolohov and Malfoy tonight." James panted, "Had a message for us from You Know Who."

"That bastard." Sirius spat, "That right noseless git, what does he want?"

Peter lent against the wall watching the exchange. Lily was clinging to Remus, white as a sheet and watching James carefully. Sirius and James had reached out to one another, James panting in anger.

"You Know Who would like Evans and I to join him." James spat through clenched teeth.

"Oh fuck off!" Sirius bellowed.

"Language!" Dealus Diggle squeaked.

Lily shook her head, "Apparently he sees great promise in us. So much so he was willing to make an exception for my what did they call it James?"

"Filthy blood status." James grunted.

"Basterds." Sirius hissed.

Peter felt himself getting angrier and stepped forward, "They want you. Both of you?"

Remus shook his head, "It doesn't make any sense. They know you're fighting against them. Why would you suddenly change your mind?"

James threw his hands in the air, "Who knows why. All I know is I would rather die than join them."

"So now they're trying to recruit people like us?" Peter asked.

"Don't worry Peter, I don't think anyone is about to recruit you." James said and turned to Sirius, "Can you believe their nerve. Lily. Me. As if we ever would. And more importantly, how safe are we now?"

Peter felt his cheeks grow hot and turned to leave the room. He could hear voices behind him, people had begun to gather around and talk through what had happened. James and Lily were important, they were talented and smart. They were worthy of being sent on important order work. They were even worthy of being approached by the other side. Meanwhile Peter was stuck working in a shop. Peter felt the familiar sting in his eyes and hurled himself into the nearby bathroom before anyone found him like this.

Peter slumped to the floor and began to sob. Of course the other side would never try to recruit him, he was useless. Of course Marlene would choose Dorcas, he was the better man. Of course his friends would choose to live together and not include, why would they want him around? It felt like this war was never going to end and by the sound of every meeting their chance of winning was getting slimmer.

The voices outside the bathroom grew louder and Peter willed himself to calm down, no one could see him like this. Peter pulled himself to his feet and looked at himself in the mirror. Plump, average and no one. He was clearly not important to the Order. Perhaps it was time he found another group to join. He thought back to all the times the Slytherin's approached him at school. They warned him that this day would come. Peter wondered where they had all ended up, if it would be possible to find them.

"No." Peter whispered to himself and shook his head, "I can be stronger than that."

Peter turned the tap and washed his face until his breath slowed and his mind was no longer racing. Today was not the day he would give up. Peter promised himself he would keep fighting with the Order, he belonged on the right side and even when he was tired and lonely he would always have a place here.