"Don't-a worry, Peach! You're-a safe now!" Mario said reassuringly as their hot air balloon glided silently over the rolling hills, towards the mountains and beyond, where the Mushroom Kingdom lay waiting for its beloved princess to return.
"Yes, I know. Thank you, Mario." Peach said. She gripped the edge of the basket and stood solemnly, watching the scenery pass by. Despite having been rescued from Bowser's clutches yet again, instead of relief and elation, all she felt was her ever-simmering anger beginning to boil over.
This was the third time in four months! She needed a break, she needed some peace and quiet. She had a kingdom to rule! Bowser needed to learn when to just let her be, which was all the time! Evidently, all of his past confrontations with Mario weren't getting the message through to him.
Peach focused her gaze on the tallest mountain peak, a perfect conical shape, just like the towers on the castle. Home. Yes, when she got home, she was going to make sure that Bowser knew she wasn't going to just stand in one spot and get whisked away again. She was going to fight back.
She was going to fight until the end of her life, the end of time, if she had to.
Bowser's eyes slowly blinked open, his eyelids feeling heavy and weak. He let out a low groan. His body felt cold and stiff.
He tried to raise a hand to rub his eyes, only to find that he couldn't. In fact, he couldn't move anything: legs, tail, hands. Only his head, and even then not that much. He was stuck staring up at the starry night sky. Out the corner of his eye was the Mushroom Kingdom.
What was he doing here, he wondered. What happened? One moment, he was home eating fish fingers with the Koopalings and having a nap on the couch, and the next, he was here. Whatever was going on, he wanted it to stop so he could go back home. He was cold and tired.
Did this have anything to do with his recent world-domination plan and kidnapping of Peach? It must have! Mario must be behind this, finally taking revenge. Once he gets his hands on the little twerp-
"Ah, I see you're awake."
Bowser blinked. That wasn't Mario's voice. It was…
Of course. Of course it would be her. He should have known it would be Peach.
"Peach!" he roared. "Let me go!"
"No," Peach replied, her voice hard and cold. "I've had enough of you trying to kidnap me and take over my kingdom! But I refuse to let you get away with it any longer. Consider this revenge!"
There were several footsteps and the sound of a match striking. Bowser suddenly realised what was happening: being unable to move, the coldness, the match - he was in a cannon. And he was powerless to stop it.
"Peach, please let me go," he begged. "I won't kidnap you ever again - I promise!"
"I don't believe you!" came the indignant reply. "I don't trust you! I want to make sure you can never come back - ever! So that's why I'm aiming to shoot you to the moon!"
Oh no. No, no, no. Bowser already hated being shot out of cannons, but to the moon? Peach really meant business!
Peach plugged her ears as the fuse burned away and the cannon burst into life. Bowser soared into the sky, trailing smoke from his tail. She watched him disappear with a twinkle with a wide grin on her face. She was glad that one problem had been solved, that he was out of her hair.
And now, she had to go bake that cake for Mario and Daisy, as payment for helping her set up and sneaking Bowser out of his lair while he slept, without anyone noticing.
On the Comet Observatory, Rosalina sat behind her telescope, watching her precious stars and galaxies with pride. They all twinkled away peacefully, shining their light from hundreds of light years away. One seemed to be getting closer and closer by the second, and Rosalina realised that what she was looking at wasn't a star: it was Bowser.
Rosalina stood up and, picking up the entire telescope and its stand, moved it over a few inches to the left.
Bowser landed right where the telescope was before, tail smoking. He lifted his head wearily, taking in his surroundings.
"Hello, Bowser," Rosalina said calmly. "Long time no see."
"You too." Bowser stood up on shaky legs.
Rosalina's eyes flitted to the planet below. "Do you need me to send you back?"
"Yes please." Manners were a rarity for Bowser, but he always used them with the space guardian. "The Koopalings will be wondering where I am."
"I'll go get the cannon." Rosalina disappeared for a few minutes, then returned with the cannon, purple with silver streaks. "The Lumas painted it the other day."
"Not bad." Bowser climbed inside, gazing at the world. "Peach tried to send me to the moon this time."
"Did she now?" Rosalina lit the fuse with her wand. "She must be really upset. You best stay away from her for a while, okay?"
Bowser sighed in defeat. "Yeah. I will."
It was too bad. He had an awesome idea for his next takeover attempt that no one will ever see coming. It will spell doom for the entire Mushroom Kingdom and those who rule it. Or, rather, she who rules it. And that little twerp Mario.
Oh well. He'll get his chance someday.