Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, all rights are reserved for Rumiko Takahashi and affiliates.

Chapter two: Thank God For Them Internets?

Miroku sighs, shutting the door to his apartment, leaning against it to groan. His landlady Koyuki was a nightmare to deal with ever since a date gone wrong. She was a nice enough woman, he admits, but she moved way too fast for him. On their first date, she started listing off names of their future children, and then got mad when he told her he was uncomfortable with her saying things like that. He'd made the mistake of giving her his phone number, and she called and texted several times a day. Finally, he'd had to just change his number.

Still, she has a legitimate reason to be on his ass this time; rent. He's behind on rent. He needs a job, badly. Anything. And what's the catch all for jobs when you need them quick? Craigslist! Practically running to his laptop, he opens it and boots it up, waiting impatiently for the desktop to load so he can open his slower than molasses browser. Curse the fifty-fifty wifi speed in this complex. Once the browser is on Craigslist, he cracks his knuckles and dives deep into the land of odd job listings. Skipping past all the seedy or just downright weird ads (thank you, ad of offering free imitation crab meat and jerking off on a trainset, but no thanks), he's almost ready to pull his own eyeballs out with spoons. His eyes stray to the clock on his bedside table. It's been twenty minutes since he started. Good god, why did he have to use this hell site? Why does everyone on Craigslist have to be a giant weirdo?

Wait!

Finally, one catches his eye, and he clicks on it to find more information.

'Wanted! Mid-late 20's male to romantically pursue my best friend (in a not creepy way, thank you). She takes her work very seriously and doesn't give herself time to relax at all. It is your job to get her to relax by becoming sort of a constant figure in her everyday life, thus giving her a reason to drop her emotional barriers and finally relax for more than a day at a time. Requirements include but are not limited to:

*Must not have a criminal record or been arrested

*Must be healthy

*Must be physically strong. My best friend has won several boxing matches against experienced boxers, enough said.

*Sense of humor

Serious inquiries only. I can be contacted for further information at 08-XXX-XXXX'

Well this is certainly interesting. It's an odd job if he's ever seen one, that's for sure. But Miroku's in need for a job, desperately in fact, and he doesn't exactly have enough padding in his wallet to be picky when it comes to job offers. So he swipes his phone up from the desk and dials the number, hoping that this isn't just some joke to make him look like a fool.

The call connects and a woman picks up on the other end, her voice rich and pleasant. "Hello, this is Kagome Higurashi, how may I help you?"

He blanks for a second, every thought in his mind screeching to a halt. Did she just say Kagome Higurashi? The heir of the Higurashi conglomerate? "Hello?" She repeats, her tone now curious with just a tad of annoyance.

"Oh! I'm sorry, just zoned out for a second. My name is Miroku, and I saw the ad you posted on Craigslist?" He really hopes she actually did post the ad herself, and that he wasn't being catfished. It would really suck if that were the case.

"Oh thank god!" She exclaims, leaving him quite confused. "It's been three days and no one answered, I thought it was a lost cause! Yes, I'm Kagome, nice to meet you, Miroku..." She trails off, and he knows she needs his name.

"Houshi. Miroku Houshi." He offers and can vaguely hear the sound of fingers clicking on a keyboard. She's probably running a background check on him to make sure he isn't a total wackjob. It's fair, he would do the same if their roles were reversed, but he can't say he enjoys it per se, no matter how necessary it is because of where the job is posted and what it entails. "So, I read the ad, but I'm still a bit unclear on what this job entails me to do?"

"Oh, right. Sorry about that. I didn't want to just unleash sensitive information all over the internet. We can meet at a local cafe. How does Nazuna's Cupcake House at one thirty tomorrow sound?" Quickly checking his schedule, and finding that it worked surprisingly well, he agreed and the date was set.

"So I'll see you tomorrow and explain everything then. If you still want the job, you'll be compensated about six thousand dollars per week, does that sound good?"

Instantly the sound of a cash register rang in his mind and he grinned widely. "Yes! That sounds perfect."

"Lovely, I'll see you tomorrow at one-thirty, Mr. Houshi." The call disconnects and Miroku leans back in his chair, grinning like the cat that got the cream.

Maybe he won't be evicted after all.

...

The meet time comes almost too soon for Miroku, and he looks around the cafe, feeling all sorts of misplaced. Not only is the whole place decked out from head to toe in cupcakes, doilies and roses seem to be a staple in how they're literally everywhere. On the tabletops, on the counter, in the shop window, in the display case..it's a bit much for him. "Mr. Houshi?" Hearing his name, he turns around to see none other than Kagome Higurashi herself, giving him a polite smile. He stands and they bow to each other, exchanging a handshake before sitting down.

"I was almost worried I'd been played for a fool there," He jokes, hoping to ease the awkwardness. To his relief, she cracks a small lopsided grin.

"I can tell. You looked like a virgin in a whorehouse." It takes all he has to not spray his water out on her, his throat on fire as he trucks on like a trooper and swallows down his drink. He's still shocked, and his throat is sore, but at least he hadn't humiliated a socialite in a public place.

"I-I'm sorry?" She bursts out laughing at his dumbfounded look.

"Sorry, sorry, nevermind me. Onto more pressing matters, the ad." Instantly, he tuned in and listened carefully. "My best friend Sango works herself to the bone everyday, and it's starting to weigh on her health. I don't know how to make her stop for more than a day at a time, because she's just so stubborn. Her father left the company to her, and made her promise to keep it afloat. She always manages to find a loophole when I make her promise to take time off, and it infuriates me to no end because she's going to put herself in an early grave at this rate. Your job is to basically woo her, just enough that her work doesn't monopolize her life. She has insane work hours, even I don't work that often."

"And I'm assuming she knows none of this?" Kagome nods decisively, and takes a sip of her chai latte.

"Yes. She'd probably kill me if she knew I'd hired some random stranger from Craigslist to basically become her boyfriend without her knowledge. Now, I'm hoping you can meet her either tomorrow or the day after, but I'm sure we can work something out. Here's your first pay installment." She reaches into her blazer and pulls out an envelope, handing it to him. "Inside is a check for six thousand dollars, and there's an extra three hundred in bills as a thank you."

He nods, sliding the envelope in his coat pocket, making a mental note to hand that to Koyuki as soon as he gets home so she can get off his ass. "Now, I don't have any preference for how you get her attention, only that you keep it. But you can't be overbearing, jealous, a stalker, or a creepy sociopathic murderer. Understand?" He nods, feeling sweat bead on the back of his neck. She hasn't mentioned the fact that he's basically a prostitute, and he honestly hopes she doesn't bring it up at all. He isn't very fond of his job on a good day, but if it pays the bills (which it hasn't been lately, to be honest) he can't really complain.

"Alright, that sounds fair enough. I guess I'll call and let you know when I meet her?" Kagome nods. Then, her professional guise drops just the tiniest bit, leaving him gaping at the face of a woman worried for her friend.

"Thank you for this, really. I wouldn't have gone to these extremes unless I felt it were absolutely necessary, but desperate times call for desperate measures, ya know?" Miroku nods, he can understand that. It's why he'd put his foster father Mushin in rehab after his last three-day alcohol binge. It had hurt to do that, but he didn't ever want to see the old man do something dangerous that could effect his and Miroku's lives at the same time. Last he checked, the old man was three months sober and was making significant progress. He got letters from him occasionally, but it wasn't often since the patient was supposed to focus on themselves.

"So, thank you for explaining things further. I think you can count on me, Miss Higurashi." She nodded.

"Thank you, Mister Houshi, for helping me with this." With this, the two part ways, and Miroku is left pondering a plan on how to do this.

He just hopes she won't kill him.

And that wraps chapter to up, stay tuned for chapter three! Yes, that ad of imitation crab meat and jerking off was a reference to a real Craigslist ad. Believe me. Joe Santagato from YouTube reviews Craigslist ads and he saw this one and made hilarious commentary about it. I love that series. The people on Craigslist are weird..

Side note; HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2020! *starts messing around with party favor bullshit*

See you next chapter!

-FH19