-My dirty Angel by Skullvalkyrie101
Chapter 2: Blue
Sometimes i feel like i'm on the cusp of a harrowing excursion like i did something horrible in a past live and the powers that be send me shitstrom after shitstrom even now even in the afterlive i still feel like they're still punishing me, knocking me down a peg i like to say every experience has made me stronger but it's also made me bitter, mean, harsher even, i've been told in no short terms to my face that i'm difficult to love and i'm fine with that, great even that works for me or at least well most of the time, relationships just...aren't my thing so can someone explain to me how the fuck is this happening to me right now?!
Boyfriend? When the fuck did that happen? I back away pulling my hand away from his as though it was fire "WHAT??NO!!" i scooted far away from him his eyes widen in great surprise possibly due to my sudden yell my lip curled in disdain i kept my eyes on him in case he tried 'anything' funny he sat there and stared at me for a bit and slid his hand away as well
"oh... i see, Doesn't make much sense why you're here and not want me." his eyes turned to the ground his face contorted in pain, the look pulled at my heart, oh god i really am a piece of shit aren't i, now regretting my words maybe i should've been gentler with my wording, i should probably go before i hurt him more then i have.
I start to get off the bench and make my leave thinking that it was the end of it "Where are you going?" he said standing up from the bench holy shit i notices our height difference almost immediately as he stood in front of me, he's tall really Tall feeling really small at the moment my head only meeting at the place between his chest and stomach meet i'm a measly 5,2 what is he 6, 7 shit i don't know , his face springing right out of it's sorrow state to where it was a mix of feelings "yeah i gotta get going home ya know it's gonna get dark soon" i lied it actually wasn't that even that late yet i just really wanted to get away from this 'situation'
"Oh, really? Maybe i can walk you then?" as tried to reach for my shoulder i flinched away from his touch "n-no thank you, that's alright i can walk by myself just fine" i said not wanting to hurt his feeling but also not wanting to be alone with him maybe i'm just being paranoid but i just can't help it
"but it's DANGEROUS to walk alone at night anything could happen to you, you could get jumped or ra..." he stopped mid-sentence looking very uneasy and cleared his throat uncomfortably "please" with a frightened smile "please let me walk you home i wanna make sure you're safe" he said trying his best to look friendly but failing his dark blue eyes giveing off a shaky sense of paranoid fear as he awkwardly rubs his left arm
"listen you're nice but i don't know you and i feel a really (creepy) off vibe from you" his awkward smile turned upside down into a very sad look
"Off but but" he mumbles his hand grabbing the front of his shirt to where his heart is,
"but I lo-"
"i'm sorry i gotta go!" cutting him off as i dash away as i ran i took one last look over my shoulderto see if he gave chase he did not he simply stood there his eyes to the ground looking so anguishly heart broken like someone just ripped his own heart out and tear it apart
yep it's official i really am a piece of shit i fled before the guilt swallows me
feeling much like a deflated balloon i wandered around aimlessly not sure what to do with myslef, shit i feel so guilty i may as well throw myslef off a cliff for all the good it'll do me
"Sigh" still what was he thinking though some guy claims to be your boyfriend and asks you out of the blue that's werid right? The fuck was he expecting to happen, he have been a sexual predator for all i know, my mind trails back to his hurt expression and i falter, i should've been kinder, nicer used my wording more wisely
"sigh OW" i hissed in pain as i walked right into a large sign it was blue surrounding the border with the words 'flowers for days' with large rose around them and a arrow pointing at a large colorful door ah it's a flower shop i look to see it's right across the coffee shop and the diner almost in between them giveing a great view of both places i think sally tried to tell me about this place and how we need flowers for the apartment i don't really like flowers all that much so i scuffed at her,
well as i look at the door i may as well check it out for myslef as i entered i'm immediately hit by the pleasant smell of the greenery within the store the shop was covered in a soft colors of every kind of flower and plants i'm glad even with being dead i have my other senses thank goodness a batch of dark red roses caught my eye as i walked over to them i reached out to a large one as i just about to pick it out of it's holdings a unknown hand brushed against mine i quickly flinched my hand away and turned rapidly to the owner of the hand holy shit it was him the round headed stranger from the park i felt the wave of guilt and regret wash over me as i saw him, oh god ah man why here why now oh fuck you, unlikely coincidences what did i do to you i cursed silently
"Oh fancy seeing you here" he beamed upon seeing me haveing completely opposite reaction from what i was expecting pulling out the rose i was about to pick up
he..he didn't follow me here did he? My paranoia kicking in Nah pah no that's ridiculous who would follow some ramdom person into a store heh..heh even in my head i didn't sound to sure
"I didn't know you shopped here too" he smiled brightly
"i don't not really" i squeaked
"listen um..." as i scratched my head nervously
" you um...didn't follow me here..did you?" i sounded like i was asking him about the whether with how small my voice was
"What? Of couse not" looking a little hurt
i could very well be wrong and that this is just a missunderstanding
"i come here often almost everyday, ya know"
"sorry i didn't mean any offense" i said sheeishly
he seem to understand as he looked at me, fiddling with the rose with a pleased smile on his face
"i love flowers this little shop is the only one around so i come here everyday to see what new bouquets they got and if they have any on sale" he smiles even more warmly
a warm blush spread across his face "i'll admit that i sometimes catch a glimpse of you sometimes through the diner window, most times at the coffee shop and other times..."he cleared his throat "other t-times i see you walking to the park on t-that lonely bench..." his eyes turned sad "you always looked so sad and lost...i always kept meaning to walk up to you...talk to you make you smile, laugh even...but i..i" his voice shook and took a deep breath
"i lose my nerve every time every single time." his drooped sadly i remained quiet and listened intently as he continues
he runs his hand across his "god i really am pathetic, aren't i." runing his hand across his face
"i'm sorry, i'm not good at this, i just..." grabbing the front of his shirt like a kid with a security blanket and with another deep breath "i just really really like you a lot" his eyes shiny looking like he might cry
"i understand" i said takeing a small step towards him
"you're not good at talking to people i get it"
he smiled slightly at that looking almost hopeful
i feel bad for judgeing him right off the bat "but trust me you would have hated dating me" giving a sad smile
His eyes widen "what?! NO i wouldn't!" he yelled slapping a hand over his mouth at the realization he accidentally raised his voice after regaining his composure he continued
"Are you crazy you're wonderful anyone who can't see that is a dumbass" he cursed
i sighed "no i'm not i'm rude grumpy mean harsh i could go on but what i'm trying to say to you is i'm a huge disappointment" just ask my mother not to
mention i ruin everything i touch
he opened his mouth to speak but i pulled up my hand to his mouth before he got a word out
"it's got nothing to do with you okay" trying to reassure him "relationships just...aren't my cup of tea"
he looked just as heartbroken as he did at the park, god i am the wrost
"i see.." thumbing the rose in his hand "c-can i at least see you again?" his voice sounding small but hopeful
quickly holding up his hand "not a date or anything, but just to hang out." giving a skittish smile
i gave a small chuckle but then something occurred to me
"wait i don't even know your name, hell i don't think you even know my name"
his expression turned sour as he frowned eeks was it something i said
"tshk my name it's a fuckin' joke really"
sheesh and i thought i had issues with my family he doesn't even like his own name
"i can give you a nickname if you like?" his eyes brightened at my question
"would you really?" looking like a little kid at the mall
"yeah um..let me see" scratching my trying rack my barin to think of something from the characteristics i seen from him so far, flower boy? No i looked at his t-shirt it was a dark blue with a two-toned heart it almost looked like the symbol the glowing girl showed me but not quite this is the fifteenth time i've seen this brand of shirt i don't know how but it slowly become popular the moment i started my search for that damn Angel like someone was fucking with me, com'on (y/n) focus damnit
i tried dotting down names in my head but none of them felt like they fit, hmm he got really pretty blues eyes maybe...?
"how does the name 'blue' sound?" i asked his whole face broke out into a wide grin and there seen to be a strange happy light in his eyes for a moment i thought i felt my heart flutter at his happy pleased face must've drank too much coffee again
"yeah, Blue b-l-u-e honestly thank you" he said looking extremely pleased a pink shade of blush on his cheeks
i don't why he looked so happy about it though 25% of people are named blue (i think) practically generic but he made it seem to be the greatest, is it me or is it a bit warm in here?
I pulled my hand for a handshake he seemed confused at first till it finally got the idea grasping my hand gently but firm
"nice to meet you my name's (y/n)" shakeing his hand
"nice to meet you too (y/n) my name's Blue"he said giving me a bright actual sincere smile that reached his eyes
"heh listen i got a day off tomorrow so let's get to know each other, lunch at the diner at 4 sound good?" i asked him i may as take some time off of my search on that damn angel besides from what glow girl told me, i'm pretty sure it's just as trapped as me
his eyes widen in obvious excitement " i love to 'cough' i mean i'd love to 'platonically'" it was very he was trying to hid his joy and failing badly
"cool um wait one sec" pulling up my phone "could you tell your digits please?" my thumb on the keypad ready to send a text away
his eyes widen in surprise " what? Really i mean sure it's ()()()"
i puch in the number and i send a text
"there you go when you check your texts you have my number so you call or text when ever, well not always when ever i have work and sleep" which is amazing who know you still have to sleep in the afterlife
"heh heh Oh! Can i see you at work too maybe?" looking even hopeful
"well, you can if you want, i'll be pretty busy but sure."
"Okay" he grins happyly eyes full of happiness and hope, wow he really has beautiful eyes
"'yamn' ah shit what time is it?" i took a look out the windows my eyes widen when i how dark it was
"ah shit i better get going see ya" i turned towards the but then felt a tug preventing me from moveing forward i looked down to my hand and realized blue was still holding my i had let go a while ago and i just didn't noticed till now
"um...could you let go i kinda need that?" pointing at our joined hands
he blinked at me confused till he looked down
"oh shit sorry i wasn't thinking" he flushed deep red and he looked down in embarrassment
"hey it's okay" getting on my tippy toes and touched his shoulder reassuringly
"see ya tomorrow sailor" giving him a friendly wink
"see ya later then." the red on his face was still there but at least he smiled, ok fine i'll admit it he's got a cute smile too.
i made my way back to the apartment through the with my phone light i really don't mind walking at night i actually rather enjoy it, it's only time of the day where the colors look right not all vibrant and bright or digital like but dark i may just be going crazy but sometimes i swear for a tiny sec i see the surrounding from normal virtual to shadowy and decrepit but it only lasts for a sec i could just be tired though
as i finally made it through the door i sighed heavily ah chirst i feel like i'm gonna fall over
i really hope sally isn't-
"'moan' yes yes, right there, ah fuck 'moan'"
oh goddamnit why, well at least she haveing a 'good time'
i quietly crepted to my room arfter locking the door ever sense one of sally's 'dates' walk in my drunk and tried to fondle me in my sleep i just don't feel without first locking my door
and like the dead i flop right on my bed i pulled something from under my bed
"noise canceling headphones don't fail me now"
after placing on my head i snuggled my head on my favorite pillow sigh another night a different dream i guess, i wonder if he'll call
i pondered as my eyelids grew heavy and i dozed off to sleep