Yukino's POV:

The steady, regular pulse of the alarm's vibrations woke me. I sat up in bed. In my mind, I reached out to my visualization of a clock and hit the snooze button. I stretched slightly, extending my arms above my head and straightening them out, feeling the stiffness in my back lessen as I did so. Getting up, I decided to start my daily routine. I did this mechanically, every move drilled into me through endless repetition.

After consuming a fruit shake, I performed my morning training routine. With slight variations, this menu was to be followed six days a week. Today's version started with stretches for mobility and exercises for core strength. Hamstrings. Glutes. Lower back. Rectus Abdominis. External obliques. Also included are the stabilizing muscles connected to the spine. By removing undue tension from each of these parts, one improved posture and increased efficiency. By subjecting each of these parts to load, one increased strength. This was the very base of my routine, since everything uses the core. All of these exercises were performed with body weight.

Once this was done, I moved on to calisthenics and plyometrics. On the schedule today were pull ups, clap push ups, squats and box jumps. I restricted myself to three sets of twelve repetitions on each of these. This was to compensate for my limited stamina. Due to a physical condition, I was not capable of extended periods of muscular or cardiovascular exertion. To counter this, I stayed within a range that trained strength while retaining a modicum of endurance. Since increasing muscle mass was not my gain, I had no need to keep the reps too slow. It was enough that they were controlled. The focus was on the concentric part, on contracting quickly, which develops explosive power. I didn't need to be stronger than anyone.

Just strong enough to do what I needed to.

With resistance training done, I moved on to technique drills.

Here, I had to be even more careful. Extended bagwork was out of the question with my condition. So I focused at first on slow, deliberate movements, ingraining the right form into my nervous system. After that, I practiced each of those moves at full speed and power, utilizing a dummy I had set up for that purpose. This was not the usual target used in gyms. Custom made, this model had anatomy that closely mimicked the real human body, and had parts representing all the spots that I needed to reach.

Throat. Eyes. Ears. Solar Plexus. Liver. Kidneys. Groin. Thighs. Knees. Elbow pits. Ankles. Wrists. Fingers.

Quickly, I flowed through the techniques that aimed to dismantle each of these, finishing in exactly one minute.

This was the ideal length of time. Within the limit of my endurance, but also enough to drill each move.

Thus, my morning training concluded for the day.

It was something I had continued to do, though it had been years since the ones who had drawn up these routines had trained me. At this point, like so many other things, it was mechanical, something that I did, the same as breathing, or sleeping.

I proceeded to the bath. If my estimate was correct, it should be an hour since I woke up, which would mean it was 7 AM at the moment. Within moments, I drew myself a warm bath, and proceeded to cleanse the sweat from my exertions. While the feeling of freshness and the scents of oils offered physical rejuvenation, they did little to change the state of my mind.

One day flowed into another. I would wake up feeling rested, but it was as if I was repeating the previous day. It was an endless cycle. Each day, I would pass twenty four hours. Then I'd do it all over again. Ad infinitum.

As I wiped myself dry, something entered my mind.

A wonderful light, in a seemingly endless darkness.

I remembered I had something to look forward to.

Tall. Lean. Hard features. Sharp nose. A hard line of a mouth. Slouching posture. Untidy hair. And a pair of eyes that were somehow more dead than most corpses… but also burned with light. With life.

When I first met him, my initial impression had been that he was no different from the countless other people I'd seen. After all, the idea of realizing someone is special at first sight… is something that only happens in fiction.

He was nervous. And cautious. Oh, so cautious.

It made me wonder.

Caution meant secrets. What secrets was he hiding?

I had not gone so far as to assume he was a kindred spirit. But I was at least curious. I hadn't seen someone with real secrets in a long time.

And he was different in other ways too.

There are only two kinds of men I meet.

The one kind who stare at me like meat.

And the other who stare as if I were a wolf.

Hunger and fear. Hunger and fear.

He was… different.

While he was certainly afraid, it was a different kind of fear than I normally sensed. As if… rather than being afraid of what he could see, he was afraid of what he couldn't.

But that was absurd. For that to be true, would mean he was looking past the surface… and perceiving me for what I truly am. It was ridiculous. A wild fantasy at best.

But then our eyes met, and I knew for certain, he was seeing me.

And… incredibly, his reaction upon seeing me wasn't disgust.

It was interest.

I could see it. Stronger than his fear.

That's why he was able to talk to me.

Neither the kind that was reduced to a blubbering mess by hunger, or the kind that was too afraid to approach.

That told me… that he wasn't like the others.

But it wasn't then that I truly saw what sort of man he is.

No, that took place later.

You see, something happened years ago.

But I can't talk about it.

I think that was the moment when I started to think it.

Started to think that I was worthless.

It's painful to think of, but I was discarded. By the two people I had trusted, above all others.
And they had told me as much. That I was worthless. And so, I had never fought back. Not since then. Everything had become meaningless.

And like a shadow in my mind, I could see his face. The face that had haunted me since that day, long ago.

As long as that face existed in my mind, I was indeed worthless.

And in time, the world had come to realize that.

So many people around me, they saw it. And they took advantage of it.

And… I was scared.

If I fought back… I'd be going against what they had said. They'd be ashamed.

No, it was better to endure, endure, endure. Until one day I wouldn't have to anymore. That was all my life was worth.

That is what I had believed. So firmly. For years.

Until he came.

I did not even think it was possible.

I sat in the cafeteria, enduring what the world saw fit to throw at me. A repeat of that day. Indeed, every time I was tortured, it was a repeat of that day. Because nobody ever came.

But this time, someone did.

And the shadow of that hated face in my mind was gone, for the first time.

Replaced by those beautiful eyes.

How effortlessly he stood up to the ones who mocked me, pained me. Made it look like an accident and still managed to get them to leave.

But I knew it was no accident.

He came over afterwards, to ask if I was all right.

Something no one asked anymore.

I was happy.

I was so happy.

A part of me was afraid. Thought that he was temporary, just like everyone else. That in the end, he would betray me too. Even if he didn't, life would go on, and he would leave.

But even so. If that one moment was all I had from him, I would still cherish him, because he had defeated the one who had abandoned me.

And so, later, I met him in class. Afraid that he was going to leave. But I didn't want to.

I wanted him to stay. But I didn't know how to say it. Didn't know how to show it. I was afraid. Afraid I'd scare him away.

But once more, he proved me wrong.

I can hear his words now, if I close my eyes.

From now till I die, I will always be able to hear them.

"You matter. Your life matters. You exist, and should strive to make yourself happy, Yukinoshita."

Somehow, without my having told him anything, he knew exactly what my fears were. As if he knew everything.

I had always wanted to hear those words.

And now, I finally had.

As I clothed myself, the thought of that man brought a smile to my face. And suddenly, my movements weren't mechanical anymore.

Incredible. The thought of you makes my life better.

Hikigaya Hachiman.

That was his name.

I looked at myself in the mirror, and I noticed, I wasn't just checking to see if I looked the way the ones who had raised me expected me to. I wanted to know what he thought of me.

Was I in his thoughts too? Even a little bit?

I made myself breakfast, but there was still quite a bit of time before I needed to leave for classes. I decided to go online, and look for the story which he had told me a part of.

To my surprise, it was easy to find from searching for the synopsis. It was a popular manga in Japan and other parts of the world, and to my surprise, the art had considerably more realism and detail than most works in that particular form of media.

Time passed by, and I realised I had lost track of it.

An entire day had gone by, and I had missed classes.

Stayed at home, and was more than halfway through the series.

And remarkably, I did not regret it.

I could picture the disappointed faces of those people. The ones who had given birth to me. And my so-called sister. But I didn't care.

Somehow, they had stopped mattering to me.

I decided to finish the series.

Somehow, I got the feeling that the protagonist of that tale was someone he looked up to.

Now that I looked back to the way he had spoken of him, admiration was evident.

The Mercenary… or well, as he is properly called, The Black Swordsman… was certainly not a perfect being. He had his flaws. And plenty of them. But perhaps that was why, his virtues were worth something too. He felt human. He made mistakes. But he continued on, despite the tragedies he faced.

Had Hikigaya kun known that I needed to experience a story like this? That I needed to see… that it was possible. Always possible. To fight. And to live.

The day passed into night, and I read through more manga, realizing that Hikigaya kun might have a fondness for the medium.

I realized I had developed one too.

It was late by the time I fixed myself dinner, and when I was done eating, I decided to go and sleep, feeling, for the first time in years, truly restful.

What was Hikigaya kun to me?

Right now?

My saviour.

But… I didn't want that to be all there was between us.

I wanted to know.

Wanted to know more about him. Understand him.

Then maybe I could start to understand my own feelings.

I had found a goal.

When I woke up the next day, I had already decided I would skip classes. I was more than familiar with the coursework, so it hardly mattered.

Instead, my task for the day was to study Hikigaya kun.

After finishing my morning workout, I quickly bathed and took my breakfast, before changing into my regular clothes and heading out to college.

Shortly after getting admitted to Tokyo University, I had, like all students, received an orientation package that included a map of the campus. Of course, out of habit, I had familiarized myself with all of it. This was a legacy of my middle school days… when I had actually cared about school.

Of course, now I had a reason to care again, so the habits I had cultivated were going to pay off.

It didn't take me long to find the office in charge of student affairs. Unsurprisingly, it wasn't yet open, which was perfect for me.

One of the advantages of being an avid reader is that one builds up a vast store of knowledge, waiting to be used when the need arises. One of the advantages of not having anything to do with one's life is that one has plenty of time to read.

For instance, I happened to know that this kind of lock could be picked quite easily.

Simply observation revealed that there was no close circuit television camera in the area, which is a remarkable oversight from a security point of view. But, again, I wasn't complaining. It made my job easier.

An ordinary torch was the only tool I needed inside. College offices opened at 10 AM, which meant I had a solid two hours before I needed to worry about anyone coming in here, and I'd have left the place by then.

The student affairs office stored documents pertaining to the personal details of those enrolled in various courses.

The first thing to do was to slip out an extra hoodie I was carrying with me in my bag, and put it on, along with a cap I also had. The former I used to hide my hair, the latter to conceal my face. Given the position of CCTV cameras near the ceilings, If I angled the cap right and kept my head down low, my features would not be seen.

I started off by turning on one of the computer terminals. Here, I searched for Hikigaya Hachiman, and was able to find only one matching result. I suppose that made sense, since his name was rather unusual.

Opening his files, I discovered he was a First Year Literature student with generally good results. I managed to find out his place of residence and phone number too, and also learned a little about his family. He had parents and a sister who all lived in Chiba… meaning he was likely here alone.

Interesting.

According to the information here, he lived close by. I was familiar with the apartment complex listed as his residence, as it was a popular place for students here, and rented flats there were highly sought after. It wasn't far from my own place, which was yet another advantage.

I went through the rest of his file, which included his final grades and report from high school. Top five academically? Not bad. It also mentioned that he had occasionally taken part in sports, and achieved fairly good results. However, not a part of any clubs or societies, either here or in school.

From that, and what I knew of him, I was able to put together an image of him, a composite sketch of sorts.

He seemed like the type to analyse and overanalyse everything. I doubt the caution he had shown the first time we had met was limited to me. More likely, he was a careful person in general. That, in conjunction with his looks, interests and manner of conversation indicated he stood apart in a crowd, and had likely been a loner in school.

This was backed up by the evidence from his file, which stated he had not been in any clubs or societies. The only time he had taken part in sports events was when he was subbing in for another member.

Well, this is what I knew about him so far. But there is only so much one can learn from reading things. I needed to observe him personally. To that end, I managed to find out his schedule for the day by going through his list of classes, and checking the schedules of those.

Memorizing the list, I shut down the computer. Since the database software used to keep these records would always start up from a default state and had no option to record user history, my activities had left no trace.

Thus, even from the CCTV footage, all they'd see would be an unknown girl entering, and using one of the terminals, but have no idea who she was or what she was doing.

Since my appearance would be drastically different due to the change in clothing, I wouldn't be pegged down as a suspect.

And in any case, for once my reputation would help.

No one would assume the daughter of the Yukinoshita's would engage in such conduct.

Of course, there had still been risks. For example, there might be someone in the head security office who was actually doing his job and keeping his eye on all the monitors. He'd see the live feed from the cameras here and rush here with backup to capture me.

But that would imply someone was actually doing his job, and I knew for a fact that campus security was nowhere near that vigilant. Sure, they might help out if a student specifically went to them and asked, but beyond that, they did little.

Picking up my bag, I left the building. Outside, I found the blind spot where I had changed the first time, and took off the hoodie and cap, stuffing both inside my bag, along with the gloves I had put on.

To be honest, those might have been a touch too far. I highly doubted they would resort to picking up finger prints.

But then again, if one must do a job, do it right. It was far better to be cautious and safe.

The next part of my job was much easier, and more pleasant as well. Nothing about it was strictly illegal (or easy to catch, at any rate).

All I had to do was tail Hikigaya kun, and observe him.

To my surprise, it ended up being more challenging than I had assumed.

While he was kind, he was far from naive or airheaded. By keeping his head low and posture slouched, he eliminated presence and made himself forgettable, part of a crowd. This meant he was now free to look everywhere, and observe people. This he constantly did. Indeed, for a moment, I wondered who exactly out of the two of us was out on a reconnaissance mission at the time.

His movements were quick, and he rotated his head, making sure that his field of vision covered most everything around him at some point or the other.

Yet, he didn't seem particularly nervous at the time.

That meant that this must be his normal mode of behaviour.

He was simply an observant person by nature, and this observation was active. He specifically looked at people around him, studying them.

I wondered why that was.

In general, humans are pathetically boring and predictable, not to mention disgusting.

Someone like him needed someone better to observe.

In any case, consistently changing my position so I wouldn't be spotted was difficult. Short of hopping from place to place and looking a fool, there was only one option I had, and that was to blend in with the crowd. Fortunately, I was carrying equipment for this too, in the form of a surgical mask. Since these were so common in Japan, I wouldn't look out of place wearing one. The other step was to tie my hair back, and slightly alter my gait and mannerisms. For this, my own observation of people helped, and I imitated the posture and behavioural tics I had seen most women of my age possess.

I was still nervous that he would be able to spot me, but fortunately, my efforts paid off, and I remained unnoticed. Thus, I was able to take my time and watch him.

My hypothesis about him being a loner also proved to be correct. Neither in nor outside of classes did he have much interaction with anyone, and the little he did have was limited to single line exchanges.

For a moment, an ugly possibility reared its head in me.

That he was simply lonely, and would take anyone he could to alleviate that loneliness. I had just simply happened to be there to meet that need.

But I immediately discounted this thought. Hikigaya kun would never be so pathetic. He was not the only loner in college, and in fact, there were others like him in some of his classes too. Yet, I didn't see him going out of his way or interacting with them.

That made me feel warm.

What we had was different. He didn't have this with anyone else, and neither did I.

With that, I felt confident. I would get to know him better. And thanks to the classes we had together, there would be plenty of time to do so.

Around 2 PM, Hikigaya exited the campus, presumably to go home. For a while, I wondered if I should continue to tail him, but quickly realized this was a bad idea. Outside, there was no crowd, and he would definitely notice me following him. It wouldn't do to scare him away. I would still be investigating his apartment. Just not right now.

Satisfied for the moment, I decided to go home too.

As I was making my way down the campus' walkway, I heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, Porcelain. Where you headed?"

Already knowing who it was, I turned around to face them.

These are the girls who have been making life difficult for me since I joined this university.

They are all Economics students, in the same year as me, and as you might have realized, we have most of our classes together.

All three of them were here. Smiling, advancing towards me.

Ah, I see. It seems they were unhappy about Hikigaya kun's intervention the previous time, and wished to finish what they had started.

I will be entirely honest.

Had Hikigaya kun never entered my life, it is likely they would have been able to continue doing whatever they wanted to me. I had had nothing to live for, and no reason to fight back.
And that meant I was scared.

I was always scared because my own life had been meaningless, and I had been confronted by others whose lives did have meaning.

But I knew better now.

"You matter. Your life matters. You exist, and should strive to make yourself happy, Yukinoshita."

I now had a reason to fight back.

As they continued to advance, I backed away, consciously keeping on my face the same expression they're used to seeing.

I almost laughed inside. I've been letting people this stupid push me around?

They never even noticed.

I knew the campus' walkways by heart.

As I continued to back away, they followed me, thinking I was running.

And I led them to a certain space behind the Visual Arts building. There are no cameras here, and the area is sealed off on three sides by walls. It's also quite isolated, and can only be reached by a rather narrow walkway.

When we were properly out of view of the rest of the campus, effectively in a private space, their smiles grew.

"Well, well, Porcelain. You kind of cornered yourself here, didn't you?"

There was no longer any need to keep up a pretense, so I dropped mine.

"Nakamura san… do you not have a brain?"

The girl I had addressed took a moment to comprehend what I had said. This was all right, as she had limited processing power to work with. Upon realizing what she had just heard, her expression turned into one of outrage.

"You… you bitch…"

I dropped my bag. Needed freedom of motion.

"You don't realize yet, do you? You've already been hunted. Everything that happens from here, is simply playing with my game."

Constriction of pupils. Downward slant of eyebrows. Open mouth. Reaction: anger, out of control.

Predictable.

She charged right at me, swinging wildly.

Ducking the blow, I slammed my fist into her throat.

Instantly, her body goes rigid. She grasps at herself, struggling to breathe, and collapses onto her knees.

It's been a while since I used these martial arts skills. All this while, I've only been keeping them sharp out of habit. But now I'm thankful.

Now that I have a reason to live, they'll be extremely useful.

The other two, seeing what had happened, but not quite understanding, came at me together now.

Analysis: the one closer to me is rather underweight. Low muscle mass. Posture weak too. Likely can't take a hit. But if I strike her, the other one will be upon me before I can regain a stance.

I smiled.

Stepping forward, I struck out with a teep, a forward kick.

But this wasn't the version meant to push.

It was the strike, delivered with a leather shoe on, right to the solar plexus.

Unsurprisingly, the girl was sent flying back, knocked off balance and out of breath.

The last one, screaming, was now upon me.

She'd probably seen this as her chance to get me.

But I'd already read her.

Big girl. Outweighed me by ten kilos, maybe. She'd try to use her power and weight to bring me down.

All part of my design.

As expected, she tackled me before I could have gotten into a stand-up stance.

This was good, since I wanted to take it to the ground in the first place.

As her shoulder ran into my core, I braced myself, and wrapped my arm around her lowered neck.

Using my other hand, I reinforced the grip, while wrapping my legs around her lower back.

We fell to the ground, but not hard enough to hurt me. Most of the power was gone from her tackle because of the way I had grabbed her.

With her neck in my control, and my legs around her, she had no way to break free.

Predictably, she tried punching my ribs with her free hands.

Poor, naive, girl. You can't generate enough power from that position.

I allowed myself to laugh now.

"HaHAhahAHa… like a pig to the slaughterhouse."

Taking a breath, I pulled backwards with my torso, tightening the guillotine choke to the maximum.

A strong fighter can resist for maybe five seconds.

An out-of-shape bitch like this managed two.

She passed out and went limp, and I pushed her body off me before getting to my feet.

Of course, a hit to the solar plexus tends to demolish one's will to fight, and doubly so for a coward.

The girl I'd kicked had only barely managed to sit up, and the one I'd punched in the throat wouldn't be fighting again anytime soon.

Had I crushed her trachea? No, no.

My stamina was limited, of course. But my control?

I'll be honest, reader.

It's damn near perfect.

I walked over to her.

Nakamura was the head of the trio.

A slight distance away, I saw a lead pipe on the ground.

I shook my head.

What is it with the pathetic state of security on this campus? You can't leave things like that lying around.

For example, what if a person were to be seized with the sudden urge to end someone's life?

What if that person was capable of doing such a thing?

I walked over to it and picked it up.

Hmm…. Not the same as a shinai, but it'll do. Besides, this doesn't break easily.

Nakamura had managed to regain some breath now, and was watching in horror as I approached.

Ah, yes. I could get used to this.

I read somewhere that many hunters enjoy seeing the fear in their prey's eyes before putting them out of their misery.

I'm not sorry.

It's just that my life has gained meaning, Nakamura, and yours has lost it.

"Please… stop… that's enough…"

"I can't recall you stopping, any of those times in the bathrooms or the cafeteria."

Dilation of pupils.

Fear.

She's also getting an adrenaline rush, but it won't matter. I have that too, and unlike her, I know how to use it.

If this had been an extended fight, maybe she could have gotten me after my stamina was depleted.

But forget four minutes.

This swine couldn't even last thirty seconds.

Hmm, but as a matter of fact, it might not be a good idea to kill them.

Corpses are difficult to dispose of.

I could, of course, make it look like they had tried to kill me, which would make this an incident of self defence.

But it was a hassle.

More time in court meant less time with Hikigaya kun.

No, that was unacceptable.

Dead corpses are difficult to dispose of.

Living corpses, on the other hand, are far more convenient.

Yes, for now, I'll settle for killing their spirit.

Crouching down so that our faces were level, I slapped her across the cheek.

"How are you so stupid? Did your parents not have brains? Or did they repeatedly drop you on your head to see how stupid they could make you without ending your life? Or, hold on… this seems much more likely… you're just a pig, aren't you?"

"Yukinoshita, I'm…"

I slapped her again.

"You don't call your master by her name, you worthless bitch. Don't you have any manners? Now try again."

She looked at me, eyes wide. I could see anger in humiliation in them, but the fear far outweighed them. Swallowing her pride, she lowered her head.

"Sorry, master."

"There we go. It's a start. Now, I'm a rather kind master. Just this once, I'll let all three of you live! Isn't that wonderful? Of course, if you ever get within three feet of me again, it's going to be a different story."

I paused slightly.

"I mean, so many people saw the three of you 'bully' me. Time and time again. If something unfortunate were to happen to you, don't you think it'd be called self defence?"

Nakamura was sweating wildly now.

"In fact, I don't think you'd find any sympathy from anyone. Oh yes, there's also the fact that the Yukinoshita name carries some weight. You might find it hard to get a lawyer."

The girl managed to summon up the last remnants of her defiance for one last attempt to strike me verbally.

"You're… the loser daughter… your family doesn't care about you."

Hmm. Half correct, half incorrect.

"Don't you understand? Let me put it to you this way. Were I the lowest of the Yukinoshita's, even then, a single hair on my head would be worth three times your pathetic life. If you don't believe me, try it."

I smiled.

"Just. Try it."

And, at that moment, facing the challenge I had given her, she backed away.

There are some who are able to fight back even after a moment of cowardice, and one day redeem themselves.

I doubt Nakamura san is one of them.

In any case, I'd crushed her spirit. If she came after me again, I'd do it once more.

And of course, seeing the leader they'd look up to humiliated, her two friends would lose faith as well.

None of these three would be bothering me again.