(8) I Won't Let Go

A/N: Please don't kill me, but this chapter will partly focus on Karofsky... I hate him (in this story) for what he did, but like it or not, he is a key character in this story :/

XXX

David Karofsky sat in a jail cell across from a big man (bigger than himself, in fact) with skulls and barbed wire tattooed around his arms. He wore a denim sleeveless jacket. He looked like the type of guy that would rip your face off for telling him to have a nice day.

"What are you in for?" asked the man.

"I'm not in for anything..." responded Dave. "I'm waiting for bail... What about you?"

"Manslaughter."

"Oh... So you... never... actually..."

"No... I was driving down the street with my friends... He came out of nowhere... He was playing soccer on the sidewalk and ran out to get the ball. And I couldn't hit the breaks hard or fast enough. He was only eight..." He looked up at David. "I have an eight year old daughter. And I keep asking myself "Who would he be, if I hadn't taken his life?" He could've been my daughters Prom date. My future son-in-law. The one who found a cure for cancer and AIDs. But I'll never know..." he shook his head as tears rolled down his cheeks. "Because I took his life, and ruined everyone around him. Sometimes, I'd rather be dead than live with the guilt and knowledge of what I did to him. It eats you up... Like a black hole that just... Destroys you from the inside out. But no matter how many times you apologize, or how many times you are forgiven, you will never forgive yourself. Because you know, deep inside... That the person you destroyed has got it SO much worse... Because of you.. And nothing kills a person more than that."

David opened his mouth, and then closed it... He had been rendered speechless. It was as of this man, this total stranger, had read his mind like a book and thrown every deepest darkest fear out in the open so that even David couldn't deny them anymore.

A guard came up to the cell and called out "David Karofsky. Your bail's been posted."

He got up when he saw his dad, standing next to the guard. "Dad..."

He walked out of the cell and they walked out of the precinct.

Paul suddenly stopped in his tracks. "You can't stay with us anymore."

David grew pale. "What?"

"You can't live with us anymore. I don't know where you're going to stay, but it can't be our home."

"Wait... You're believing HIM... Over ME?"

"I don't know what the hell to believe anymore, David! You are my son, yes. But lately... You've changed... You've been belligerent. And angry... Acting out... I can see it in your eyes, David... You are NOT the same son you were a few years ago... I'm so... SO sorry, David. I really am..."

Paul got in his truck and left David there, standing on his own in the middle of the parking lot. All by himself.

Maybe he should've felt like shit. But somewhere inside him, he knew that he probably deserved worse.

XXX

"Dad, this is ridiculous. I don't need any help." said Kurt.

Burt, Kurt, Carole, Finn, and Blaine were in Burt's truck on their way to an anxiety disorder specialist. It was a psychiatrist who mainly focused on anxiety disorders like OCD, ADD, ADHD, Bipolar, and of course PTSD. This particular doctor was known for helping sexual assault victims.

But Kurt didn't think he needed any pills to help him cope. He was doing just fine.

"Is that so?" asked Burt. "Then why is it you have night terrors every night unless Blaine sleeps over?" They reached the office and Burt placed the truck in park.

Kurt crossed his arms and looked out the window. The rain dripped down the window like tear tracks rolling down a person's cheek. "I'm not crazy."

"I'm not saying you're crazy... I'm saying that you might need a little help after what happened to you. I know you're not nuts, Kurt. I'm saying you're traumatized."

He scoffed and threw his head back. Blaine placed a hand on Kurt's shoulders. "Hey," he started. Even though they declared their love for each other last week, Blaine had decided it would be best to take things slow. Extremely slow. They hadn't even gone on a date yet. Not that he didn't want to. Because boy, did he want to. But considering what Karofsky had done to him... He didn't want to push Kurt to do anything that could trigger more stress. "At least give it a try. I promise it'll help you get on with your life and it's going to do nothing but make all this easier to cope with."

Kurt sighed and opened the door. "Fine. Come on, let's go."

Blaine smiled at him as they got off the car and walked into the office. The blonde receptionist had her hair pulled back in a neat ponytail and greeted them with a warm smile. "Kurt Hummel?" she asked. Burt nodded. "Right this way, sir."

She led began to lead him down the hallway but he stopped her. "Why aren't they following us?" He pointed to the rest of the group. She shook her head. "They're not allowed during evaluation. It's like a science experiment." Kurt flinched just in the slightest. Bad use of a simile. "Everyone is a variable, so the first trial has to be the control in order to get an accurate reading. We can't have anything or anybody influencing your behavior."

Kurt looked longingly towards his family and Blaine. The receptionist gently placed her hand on his shoulder and it took all his self control not to flinch. He nodded and walked into the psychiatrist's office.

The receptionist walked out the room and closed the door behind her. He sat down on the couch.

"Kurt Hummel. I'm Dr. Allen." She started. "Can you tell me why you're here today?"

Kurt looked down. "I'm here because my family thinks that I need help."

"And you don't think so?"

Kurt shook his head.

"Hmm." She nodded and looked at her clipboard. "I've heard that you've been having night terrors every night since the incident."

"Not every night."

"Is that so?" She asked. "Can you explain."

Kurt smiled lightly and blushed a bit. "Whenever my friend Blaine sleeps over, I don't have nightmares."

"Hmm. Ok." She scribbled something down on her clipboard. "The night terrors. Can you recount them to me?"

He froze. "I-I'd actually rather not..."

She just nodded and continued writing on her clipboard. "How has you're experience been at school since you've returned?"

"Ok... I guess. My friends are supportive. Thankfully, Karofsky's been AWOL ever since... The incident... So I haven't run into him."

"How have you been doing at school?"

Kurt looked down a little. "I usually have stellar grades. I'm a straight A student. But they've been suffering a bit... It's been hard to... Concentrate."

"Any particular places that you seem to... Avoid? Either consciously or unconsciously?"

Kurt but his lower lip and whispered, "The locker room... It's where it happened. I don't walk down that hallway anymore..." She nodded and wrote on her clipboard again. He looked up from his lap at her. "I'm not crazy, you know."

She looked up from her clipboard at him with genuine eyes. "No one ever said you were. You're not here because you're crazy, Kurt. You're here because something terrible happened to you, and it traumatized you. And you should know that you're not alone. You have your friends, and your family. Anxiety disorders are not uncommon among sexual assault victims. There are support centers if you'd give that a try. You've been through a great amount of stress and it affects your mental health. I'm just here to make sure that you can live your life as normally as possible. And I know you're not crazy, but admitting that you need help coping is the first step. You're going to be fine, Kurt. But you need to let other people help you."

Kurt blinked as tears rolled down his face. "I'm just..." he looked down at his lap and tears fell onto his lap. "I'm so ashamed..."

She placed a hand on his shoulder and he flinched. He knew she wasn't going to hurt him, but he couldn't help but remember Karofsky grabbing him an throwing his against that wall. "You have no reason to be ashamed, Kurt. What happened wasn't anybody but his fault."

He looked up and met her green eyes. "Thank you..."

She smiled at him and returned to her clipboard. She pulled up a little prescription pad. "I'm going to write you a prescription for Catapres, an anti-anxiety regimen. Take one of these every other day, and the night terrors should cease. You should be able to walk down that hallway and your grades will go back to normal in no time." She handed him the slip. "I promise."

XXX

Kurt walked out into the lobby where everyone was waiting. "How'd it go?" asked Finn.

"She uh, she put me on an anti-anxiety regimen. She said it would help me cope and that it's one step closer to my life being normal again. Or at least as normal as it can get."

Burt smiled at him. "This is gonna do you a lot of good, kid."

"Totally," said Finn. Blaine stood next to him and simply smiled at Kurt. That was enough reassurance for him.

"I know..." Kurt smiled. "I... I have a feeling that things are finally starting to look up for me."

XXX

A/N: Hermione! What is foreshadowing! I actually liked this chapter. It's not AS dark as the rest (I think?). Ps, the doctor is the same one that treats Emma in "Born This Way," I couldn't remember her name or if they even mentioned it, so I made it up.

Reviews? Tell me what you think/hope for our Kurtie and Klaine.