A/N: Well... let's see how much further this goes. It seems impossible for me to write a one-shot nowadays. Oh well. Let's see what fluff we can come up with! R&R! Enjoy!

CAVE

Chapter 2: Cold

Confusion was swirling through his head as he looked down at the woman sleeping in his arms. It had been hours since she had taken up residence in his lap, clinging to him, trying desperately to get warm. The rain had been relentless during the night. It was so loud that he was surprised she could sleep through it. But then again, he was sure she was used to it having trained here with Luke. The sun was shining now outside, lighting up the cave in just the right way to where it shone in his eyes in an annoying manner. It was as if it were taunting him with light he'd never attain. Taunting him with the light that made his heart ache to the point of wanting to rip it from his chest. Though last night was an eye-opener for Ben, it was also filled with pain and regret.

He'd sensed Rey's affections for him through their shared connection, but she wouldn't bring herself to say it. He couldn't allow himself to say it either. He felt so much for this scavenger that he had to resist it. He wasn't ready. There were too many things that had to be done before he could even think about giving up the First Order. He knew that if someone else were left in charge, it was only a matter of time before they'd find them and hurt Rey. That was the reason Ben had to stick around. He had to make sure that those people were put in their place so they couldn't harm the woman he cared so deeply for.

As he stared out of the mouth of the cave, he sighed to himself. He would have to leave here soon. No doubt there was a mutiny stirring already. He looked down at Rey again, seeing her shiver. Her cheeks were flushed and her breathing had become erratic. Was she struggling to breathe? His brows furrowed as he reached to her forehead with the back of his hand to feel her temperature. She was burning up. He scooped her up in his arms and walked out of the cave, seeing her curl closer to him for warmth. He knew one of them were bound to catch a cold from that downpour last night. It was just sad it was her and not him.

He looked from side to side for his ship. He didn't see it. He frowned. What happened to his ship? Then he saw the markings of something sliding. His eyes widened and his heart sank as he realized where he'd parked his ship. Such an idiot! He sighed in frustration and turned the opposite way, heading toward the village Rey was staying at. He'd seen it in her dreams when he was wrenched from his quarters to her side. All he had done was touch her and he was flung into her mind, into her dream. Training sessions with Luke on Ahch-To. Nightmares of things going terribly wrong. Nightmares of killing Ben and feeling the worst regret ever known to man. He felt the hope surface then. Back then, he'd known that she didn't want to kill him. He didn't want to kill her either.

A few more paces and he made it to the village. He looked around and searched his memory for the hut he'd seen in her dream and went into it, setting her on the bed. He rushed to make a fire with the wood she'd kept in the corner and lit it up to get some warmth. He grabbed blankets and looked around for anything that could be useful. He saw her ration pack over in the corner, a small backpack full of things for the on-the-go scavenger. He searched through the bag and found medicine. He stared at it for a moment. Could he get her to take it? He glanced over his shoulder at her as she made a soft groan of discomfort, flinging the blankets off of her as the back of her hand came to rest on her forehead. He frowned at her. He had to get her fever down. He had to get her out of her wet clothes... His cheeks burned relentlessly at the thought of undressing her. He found some extra clothes in her bag, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It was such an invasion of privacy. And though they'd kissed and cuddled last night, that was hardly worth going the next step and seeing her naked!

His large hand went over his face, embarrassed at the thought of having to do what he was about to do. He sighed with evident frustration, trying his best to control himself as he walked over to her. Her clothes were still damp and cold. He pressed his lips into a thin line as he sat her up and set to work at undoing her clothes. He was mindful to keep her dignity in tact, covering her with a blanket as he revealed more and more of her body. Now that the top was out of the way, he quickly dressed her in a basic shirt, he supposed was for training. He wasn't going to mess with redoing her breast bindings. He didn't know how it worked, nor did he want her to awaken to see him attempting it. He looked down at her soaked pants and swallowed hard. Ok, Ben... don't look. You got this. He hesitantly reached out, hooking his fingers in the waist band and with a deep breath, pulled them down and off, underwear with it. He slipped her new underwear on her, trying his best not to look as he slid them up her thighs and to her hips. The pants were a little more difficult because she started to squirm. His hand had brushed against her, making her sigh and relax. He realized what he'd done and his head was feeling dizzy beyond compare. He gingerly slipped her pants back on her and settled her back in bed, covering her up.

Once he was done, he sat at the edge of the bed, burying his face in his hands and trying his best to keep from passing out from the dizzying experience. He knew he'd be in for it when she woke up, accusing him of being a pervert or something, but he had to do it so she could get well. He scrubbed his hands over his face, looking at nothing in particular as his elbows rested on his knees. He was so incredibly uncomfortable. He felt terrible. He was having issues restraining himself. He had wanted to look, knowing her to be beautiful already from what he could see of her in a decent setting, but the thought of seeing all of her was such a dizzying thought. He felt the blood rush to his head again, making him groan in discomfort. This woman was going to be the death of him.

He felt a hand on his arm, making him whip his head over to look at her. "Ben..." she breathed softly, clearly struggling.

He grabbed her hand and leaned closer. "Rey... what do you need?"

"Hot..." she whined.

Ben frowned down at her and kissed her forehead, feeling the fever had spiked. He cursed under his breath before he grabbed a corner of the sheet, ripped it off and went out to go find some water. He leaped down the side of the mountain and saw his ship settled there on a ledge, but not in the water. He sighed to himself and figured he'd need to deal with that later. He got the rag wet, wrung it out, and rushed back to Rey, who was sitting up in bed, hand on her forehead and looking dazed. "Rey... you need to lie down," he said as he walked over to her and set a hand on her shoulder.

She looked at him and reached out to him, touching his face gently with a small smile. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his in a feather-light kiss. He felt her pull away a moment later, her eyes finding his, holding a dazed sincerity. "I love you, Ben," she whispered as she closed her eyes and leaned against him. And just like that, she fell asleep.

His hand went over his face again as tears welled in his eyes. He didn't know if it was from shock, embarrassment or happiness, but they were there. This wasn't fair. This whole situation just wasn't fair. She'd said it to him in a dazed stupor and she probably wouldn't even remember. Did she mean it? He chose to shake the thought aside and gently laid her back down on her back. He put the cool rag on her forehead and sat on the floor, back to the bed, knees raised and forearms resting on his knees. He glared at the fire. The words kept repeating in his head, making him groan and throw his head back in frustration. "I want to believe it..." he whispered to no one in particular. Why did he want to believe it so badly? The hope, the light, in his mind was growing brighter. Was there a chance? Was Rey right when she said he would turn? He'd already killed Snoke... that was one step, right? A single tear fell from his eye. This whole situation sucked.

X~x~x~x~x~X

Rey awoke the next day to the smell of eggs cooking. She sat up in bed and held her head, feeling a throbbing pain as the rag fell into her lap. She blinked at it for a moment, then looked over to see Ben moving the eggs (from Porgs... sorry!) onto a separate dish. He looked really tired. She watched him for a moment before he realized she was awake. He offered her a small uncomfortable smile before offering the plate to her. She hesitantly took it, moving her legs so he could sit with her on the bed. They ate in silence, neither knowing what to say. Then, without warning, Ben reached his hand out, gently pressing the back of his hand to her forehead. Her face lit up in a dark blush as she stared at him with wide eyes, wondering what on earth he was doing. After a moment, he pulled away and went back to eating. "Your fever is gone," he mumbled as he finished eating quietly. Rey touched her own forehead, as if she could still feel his hand on her skin. It was then that she noticed that her clothes were different. She blinked a few times, trying to get her memories straight, but realizing she couldn't remember how she got changed. He felt her struggling and sighed as he held out his hand. She looked at it curiously. "I'll show you what happened," he said simply, risking a glance over at her to see her considering his hand.

It was a moment later that she put her hand in his. He opened his side of the bond and let her see from his eyes what had happened. Her face heated up when she realized he had dressed her, but from what she could see through his eyes, he was respectful enough to look away. And then she saw her confession to him, making her eyes go wide and her hand snatch away from Ben's as she stared in disbelief. He hesitantly lowered his hand, not daring to look at her. "Ben, I-"

Ben stood abruptly, seeking out his shirt that he'd recovered from his ship. He'd lifted it without much of an issue and set it on level ground. He spent most of the night arranging things to make sure it was in proper working order so he could leave as soon as she was well. And now that time had come. He slipped his black shirt on, grabbing his cloak and paused in the doorway. "Ben, please stay," she whispered to him as she was already throwing the blankets aside to rush over to him. She made it to his side and she gently reached out to touch his arm. "Ben...?" she whispered, fear starting to overwhelm her. She didn't want to lose him again. She didn't want him to go back. She wanted him to stay with her.

"And do what, Rey? Why stay?" he asked her, voice devoid of emotions. He seemed drained. Like he was tired of waging this war within himself.

Rey didn't have an answer. Not a logical one. She could only look up to him, hand on his arm, afraid to let him go. "We could leave it all behind. You said it yourself, didn't you? You told me to let the past die. We can do that here."

Ben looked over at her, eyes full of pain and misery and hope. That hope quickly died out as he grasped the reality of their situation. He leaned down and placed a delicate kiss to her lips. When he pulled away, he stared into her eyes, seeing tears fall from her eyes. "Kill it if you have to," he said as he straightened and turned to leave. Rey felt her heart sink. He was leaving. There was nothing she could do to stop him. He was going to go back to the First Order, her to the Resistance, and these nights on Ahch-To would die. He wanted to kill his past. He didn't want this. He didn't want to be with her. She sank to her knees, arms wrapped around herself as she let grief wash over her, begging him through the bond to come back, to not leave her.

X~x~x~x~x~X

Ben felt the pain as he walked out and to his ship. He heard the endless begging through their bond. He knew that if this kept up, he would quickly lose his resolve. He had to go back to the First Order so he could get himself ready to go kill her grandfather. Palpatine needed to die. He couldn't allow her to be with him to be a distraction. All the Sith knew what their enemies' weaknesses were. She was his. He couldn't allow himself to be distracted. He needed to follow through with this. Once Palpatine was gone, he would be able to be with her. He only hoped that she would forgive him. He would go back to the First Order, keep them off of the Resistance's tail while they amassed their troops to go to Exegol. He knew they would find a way. He just had to buy them enough time to do it.

He paused at the ramp to his ship, feeling overwhelming pain wash over him as his heart ached as badly as hers did. He felt her pouring all of her hurt and pain and longing into their bond. He had to kill it for now. He had to break away. It was going to kill him if he didn't. He felt his hand going to his chest, as if holding it would help the pain. He felt his heart breaking at how upset his leaving caused her. She was in so much pain. He seemed so heartless. He only hoped that... she would forgive him. They would see each other again. He knew it.

And when they did... he would be ready to turn for her. Completely.