Chapter 32: Out Of The Frying Pan

"Urgh! This stinks!" Ren quickly ducked her head back down into the chamber pot I had found under the bed. Belching forth yet another load of vomit as Amina held back her hair with two fingers. "In more ways than one." Amina responded with a giggle. Ren decided to ignore that and resumed her grumbling and groaning as she fought to overcome her horrible hangover.

"Bain, could you please get some water for Ren?" At that time, I was sitting on the other end of the bed. Lost in thought as I struggled to remember the dream I had last night. "….Bain?" "Huh? What? Oh, water! Sure!" I quickly jumped off the bed and began pulling my clothes back on. "Are you ok sweetie?" Amina asked as I began making my way to the door.

There was genuine concern in her voice. And when I turned around, my heart stopped for a moment. She was wearing a simple night gown that went down to her ankles. And her hair was a little messy after having slept on my chest the entire night. There was no morning sunlight pouring down on her from out the window (for added effect.) But that didn't matter. Seeing her like this showed me another side to her I had only recently noticed. And I was really starting to like it. She noticed this and blushed a little (what's with all this fucking heart throb shit!?)

"I'm fine." I responded gently. "I just….didn't get much sleep last night." I felt like a rotten prick lying to her. But even if I had come clean and told her something was wrong, I wouldn't have even known how to explain it to her. It wasn't like I was feeling sick or injured in any way. Something just felt….wrong. Unnatural. But Amina already had Ren to worry about. And I wasn't going to add even more to her plate.

Deciding to put my worries aside for the time being, I grabbed the door knob and gave it a pull. "Good morning, sir." I yelped as Magenta pushed me aside. In her hands appeared to be a glass of water and some kind of medicine moulded into a small ball. Without another word, she presented them to an equally startled Amina. "Umm….thankyou?" She said nervously. Magenta simply bowed before turning around. And without even looking at me, she left the room with the door still open (how rude!)

"Did you ask her to bring up some water?" I asked Amina awkwardly. "No. I don't think so." She responded. Dropping the medicine into the water. The contents quickly broke apart and dissolved into the cup with a loud bubbling sound. She then offered it to Ren. "Will it taste bad?" Ren asked her weakly. "Maybe. But it will make you feel better." I couldn't help but grin seeing Amina acting so motherly to Ren. But then I remembered my front teeth were still crooked, and quickly put a stop to it before either of them could notice.

"Well, I'm going to go get us some breakfast." I announced as I made my way out of the door. "Okay. But don't take too long." Said Amina as she carefully poured the drink down Ren's throat. "I won't." I responded before closing the door behind me. It was still quite stormy outside. And there was very little candle light in the hallway. So the place still had a spooky air about it. But I was too concerned about our empty stomachs to worry about anything else at the time. Even as I made my way downstairs, the sounds of wailing and moaning in the walls didn't freak me out.

Walking over to the front desk, I tapped a hand onto the bell. And in a matter of seconds, the fracking adorable little Dormouse was standing on the counter. Rubbing her large, sleepy eyes. "Can I help you, sir?" She asked me sweetly (could I dip you into my tea….sugar?) "I was wondering if you could tell me where we could get some breakfast?" I answered softly. She smiled and pointed a finger in the direction of the dining area. "Just head over to the refectory, and our cook can make you whatever you like." I nodded with a small "Thanks." And walked away.

Entering the dining room, I realized that the place had already been cleaned up. The floors had been mopped. The tables were cleared. Not a single speck or stain (*chuckles childishly*) could be seen. But I suppose that would make sense. Magenta (being undead and everything) wouldn't need any sleep. So she would have no problem cleaning things up whilst all the guests were in bed.

I paused and shuddered as I thought back to the events of last night. I had a Cheshire Cat sit on my shoulders (which was amazing!) Made out with a Harpy (also amazing!)Found out Amina was a virgin (not so amazing!) Smiled in front of dozens of strangers (oh god!) And then there was the big finale. Having a tender moment with Amina (I think I'm gonna hurl!)

None of those things were on my to do list. In fact, there was no way in hell I was ever going to do that shit again. Ever! And yet….I couldn't help but feel a little proud of myself. Simply because I had decided to go out of my comfort zone and have some fun. Just a little bit though. Don't think I'm gonna turn into some crazy, sex hungry harem king (whatever you say, buddy!)

But what troubled me most was Magenta. The way she talked to me. Something wasn't right. In fact. She was acting weird this very morning. I had no idea what her issues were. But whatever. It's her problem. Not mine.

Shaking myself back to reality, I looked around for any signs of a kitchen or cook. There were two other doors that were connected to the dining room. One was a large wooden door with a very old, and ornament look about it. The other one looked clean and newly built. With no scratches or dents on it. My logical thinking led me to believe that a kitchen would be one of the cleanest rooms in the building. And when I walked over to have a closer look. The smell of freshly baked bread and fried bacon told me that I was right.

Leaning forward, I gave the door a firm *tap*tap*tap* And from the other side I could hear a muffled "Oh, for the love of fuckery! What is it now!?" This was followed by the sounds of hurried footsteps. Then the sound of various objects banging and crashing to the ground. Some explicit swearing and cursing. And then more hurried footsteps.

The door then swung open with such a force I had barely enough time to jump back to save my nose from being broken. And standing there. Wearing an apron. Was a little girl. But it didn't take me long to realise that something wasn't right. She had these long, furry ears that stuck out from under her hair net. Her eyes were sharp and tinted with golden flakes.

And then there were these….things, attached to her. They looked like arms. But these were made from some sort of metal. Six of them stuck out from behind her. One of them was holding a large kitchen knife. Two of them were working together to knead some dough. Two more were wiping a dish. And the last one appeared to be have been used to open the door!

At first, the strange girl had a very angry scowl on her face. But the moment she saw me she jumped back with a squeal and began using her free arm to pat some flour off her apron. Her cheeks now blazing red. "I-I'm sorry!" She exclaimed. "I shouldn't have shouted at you!" "I don't mind." I responded nonchalantly. "I was just wondering if I could get some…." "Breakfast!?" She interrupted. "Sure! What would you like!?" "Enough bacon and eggs to feed two and a half people would be great, thank you."

Her cheery mood quickly disappeared as she leaned dramatically against the doorway and sighed. "Must be so wonderful." She groused. "To have a woman by your side." She then fell forward. Using her metallic arm to catch her like she was in some theatre (so dramatic!) "To have a child! A beautiful little girl!" She continued. "Why….why can I not be so lucky!?"

I just stood there. Staring at her with a blank look on my face. "I'm not married." I stated bluntly (oh no….) Her eyes flew open. And before I knew it, she was clinging to the front of my shirt with her real hands. A wild look in her eyes. "You're not!?" She squealed (please don't.) "N-no! I'm not!" I found myself saying (stop….now!) "And I don't have a child either!" (for fucks sake!)

A few tense moments passed before she finally released me. There was sweat pouring down her face. And her breathing was heavy. It was becoming very clear to me that she was having a hard time keeping herself in control. "Do you….need some water?" My assailant quickly jumped back. Shaking her head as she tried in vain to hide her embarrassment.

"No, I'm fine thank you!" She said nervously. "Everything will be ready in fifteen minutes!" She then began to back away into the kitchen like a cornered animal. "I'll just bring it out to you at one of the tables, okay!?" And before I could even say anything, the door was closed shut.

I stood there for a moment. A little shocked at the sudden turn of events. But all I could do in the end was sigh and walk back the way I came. "well….that could have ended badly." I muttered to myself (no shit, Sherlock!)