Instrument of Surrender

by Substance

Yuri/Femslash - Ashe x Sejuani / Ashe x Quinn - a complete series. If Ashe is to unite the Freljord, she must forgo kindness to become the brazen warrior of Sejuani's dreams. As the two rivals lose themselves, piece by piece, others are drawn into their trials, including Volibear, and a young Demacian eager to find herself in a distant land.

25. Faith - Chapter 8

Faith – Chapter 8

I'm unfamiliar with open seas but I'm surprised at how the shore feels like home.

I stroll across the boardwalk. Strong winds ruffle my hair, providing respite from Demacia's dead heat. Pale gulls circle above masts of human artistry.

I peel off my gloves, bundle my cloak into my arms and savour the breeze. I draw many disapproving stares. You'd think even Demacian docks would allow for some level of undress. I pity the grafting sailors, drenched with grog and sweat under a naked sun.

Quinn glances over my bra, skirt, boots and everything in between. Our eyes meet and she turns away, as if burnt. 'Uh… I… how can you dress like that?'

'I'm far too hot.' I laugh. 'And your climate's a bit warm for me.'

Quinn groans at my terrible joke. 'You like it when strangers gawp at you?'

'Sometimes, but I have to be presentable at home.'

She gnaws her lip and scratches parts of her body. Leering faces are deterred by her scowl. 'You'll get heatstroke or sunburn if you're not careful. I don't want you passing out again.'

'Could you let it go?' I say. 'We're all sick at one point or another.'

'You're still sick. Your ribs are…'

'Let it go!' Why can't I be carefree just once? 'My body is my concern. Thank you very much. I don't let anyone control it unless I'm due an orgasm.'

She replies with a cross little grunt and withdraws in embarrassment. I nearly jump when Volibear speaks up. 'A shame you don't extend others the same courtesy. The Freljord is not your rose garden.'

I say, 'I want everyone to have a chance, not just those who fit one ideal. Your people may thrive in our current circumstances but you don't win a war by repeating one battle, praying things will never change. We have to diversify.'

'If you don't allow for purpose beyond existence, why should anyone change?'

'I guess by "purpose" you mean conflict. I believe people can find their own purpose without living in fear.'

'You're too naïve, or wilfully blind. For generations, my tribe languished. Every person chose an easy life because they could. We nearly died out.' He speaks as though the memory is fresh.

'I've no doubt you've earnt your wisdom but your experience does not comprise the world.'

'Yes, which is why I follow the chieftain who sees the farthest.'

'She's a perceptive woman,' I say, 'But she has trouble with issues closer to home.' A figure of speech that hides a physical truth, Sejuani's longsighted. It's our little secret.

'You're not wrong.' Volibear turns to our sulking ally. 'Quinn, I'm afraid looking after the strong-willed is a thankless and frustrating role. I have the same problem with Sejuani. She's a menace to herself.'

Quinn says. 'It may be hard but that's no reason for us to stop.'

'Agreed.'

I can't suggest Volibear should abandon Sejuani so I hold my tongue.

While troublesome, Quinn's mate-guarding feels novel. Sejuani allows… no… compels me to run wild. I'm unsure if it's an improvement. In better circumstances, I could enjoy Quinn's hypocrisy. This little prude yips when she comes, and likes to suck on my toes. A little fantasy never hurt anyone, and remembering Quinn at her least dignified is a good way to deal with her attitude.

She guides us to our vessel. 'Here she is.'

There's no way this boat is Demacian. It looks like a hundred ships cut up and reassembled as one. So many different woods make up the hull that it resembles an upside-down jester's hat. Alongside cannons are devices glowing with hextech and elemental power. Half a broken figurehead, like a stone fungus, decorates the bow. Maybe the rippling folds were the lower part of a dress? The masts are decked with metal spider legs that zig-zag upwards.

All these wonders the Freljord lacks… I have to use the lost wisdom of our civilisation to drag us into the modern age.

While I'm trying to make sense of the structure, Volibear reads, '"The Siren."'

'Excuse me?' I say. He gestures to a chrome plate. Through the colour clash, I make out a name. 'Oh, "Syren" with a "Y". That's awful.'

'Yeah, I didn't name the bitch, all right?' A gaudy woman with a lion's mane of red curls approaches, her high heels tapping out a brisk rhythm. She wears a bodice that frames half a mile of cleavage. I suppose that outfit earns a few stares but I feel sexier as a woman, not a mannequin. She's imposing at first glance but I doubt she's any taller than Quinn, once you chop off the tricorn and silly boots. As we face off, it's apparent she's eyeing me just as critically.

We're cut from the same cloth, brazen youths driven to semi-respectable authority.

Luckily, this contender's not my type, even if I like her freckles and hair. Quinn's a secret redhead. I map the shade onto Quinn's bandana, only to feel a surge of displeasure when I see her gawping at the whore's breasts. I drift over to Quinn and pinch her bottom. She jumps with a blush loud enough to deafen Volibear.

The woman pushes her larger bosom towards mine and looks down as if I was a puddle she'd stepped in. 'Are you the Queen of the Freljord or cheap entertainment? I'm sure my boys can afford better than your squashed tits.'

Oh, sweet summer child, have you met my husband? If you think I'm easily scandalised, you've got another thing coming. 'I could earn twice as much with my thumb and forefinger than with your gaping holes.'

'That how you got those muscles?' The woman raises her pistols. 'Watch your mouth, kid. I've got shinier guns than you.'

She's got some nerve calling me that. I sense we're about the same age, and only one of us grew up in the Freljord. 'Ooh, nice toys. I bet you don't even feel them.' I get up in her face. 'Now are you going to piss any longer or shall we talk like adults?'

The woman snickers then tilts her head back with a loud, whooping laugh. 'I did wonder if you were a delicate snowflake or a brawling tribeswoman. Praise the kraken you've got some fire in your belly.' She holsters her guns and clasps my hand. 'I'm Captain Sarah Fortune, de facto leader of Bilgewater. Pleasure to meet you.'

'So Prince Jarvan isn't risking his own ship?'

'Like fuck, he would. I offered him all the booty in the world, including mine, but he wouldn't lift a finger to pick his nose.'

Ah, Jarvan's "aid" is throwing us and Bilgewater together. 'Why did you want his help?'

'I'm paying the Shadow Isles a friendly visit,' she says. 'That cursed shithole comes calling every time a sailor belches. We'd fought off an invasion, only for this pale storm to blow through. I think it's harvesting corpses? I don't know how else to describe it.'

'I presume it's doing more if you've travelled all this way.'

'The world ain't so big when you live in a cabin rather than a cave but you're not wrong. Wind's rotting our buildings and land, sickening our people, killing some. Yeah, we've had worse, but we've had enough, so I'm going after them.'

Volibear shakes his head as if to say he doesn't recognise the phenomenon. I ask Sarah, 'Have you any experience fighting undead?'

'Yeah, we've wasted plenty of time doing that in Bilgewater. We need a priest, a paladin, or a mage of the right school. I know Demacia have the Crownguards and that winged celestial. Jarvan claims he's got no control over her, convenient. Also, he reckons Lux isn't a mage. Fuck off. You can buy two-bit Zaun devices that say otherwise. He might fool his own serfs, but no one else.' Quinn fidgets at the mention of her prior status.

I ask, 'What about your allies?'

'We've got Illaoi back home but she's our only spiritual defence. If I brought her…'

'You'd have nothing to come back to.'

'You got it. And Illaoi's a thin reed for such a fat bitch. I wouldn't risk leading her to a place of dark energy. She might… I don't know… channel her god into the void or whatever.' Sarah flicks her wrist.

Volibear says, 'You're not far wrong. If Nagakabouros controlled the passage between life and death, it would unleash its test upon us all. The failures would reincarnate as plankton for the victors, who would grow with each turn of the wheel.'

I say, 'I'm surprised you don't approve.'

'There's a lot to admire in her espoused virtues but I disagree with her main principle. There is no test. We succeed and fail against each other, not some list of criteria.' The sermon rumbles on. Why did I start him off? 'The bounds of our struggle are in constant, undying flux. What your kraken priestess urges may sound like elevation of the strong. It is not, only supplication to her god's rule.'

Volibear's act earns a round of applause from Sarah. 'Divine wisdom in a big, sexy hulk of a bear, that's what I'm after. Babe, you're a shaman, yes? Can you fight undead?'

'I'm Volibear, Chosen of the Storm, and yes, I can rend spirits… although my powers are as contingent as my patience for lewd remarks.'

'All work and no play, huh? So you'd rather load my cargo than keep my feet warm?'

'If it will hasten our departure, then gladly. Hard work is good for the soul.'

Sarah calls to her crew, 'Hey, Rafen! Have I got a present for you!'

Volibear nearly bounds, eager to do some heavy lifting. Sarah peers down her nose at Quinn. 'So you're Jarvan's contribution?'

'I guess?' replies Quinn. 'I'm…'

'The bird girl, yes I know. Sorry but you were dead last on my wish list. I'm sure you can identify berries and follow trails but I'm up to my waist in travel-stained rogues. I was hoping for someone tastier like Garen.'

'At least I won't pretend I'm in charge of your boat.'

'See what I mean? Dull as a calm sea. We thought a Demacian acting up would have us all in stitches. You're no fun.'

'Sorry to disappoint you but I'm not here for anyone's pleasure.' Quinn glares at me when she says that. I'm unsure if that's a reprimand for pinching her or not following through.

'That much is obvious. I doubt you've been liable for half a cockstand.' A screech lifts our attention to the skies, where Valor is chasing seagulls. 'Ooh, is that your brother? He's a big boy.'

'He's my friend.'

'At least he'll keep our deck free of bird shit.' Suddenly mindful, she inspects her hat. 'I'll get your quarters ready, once our boarding ramp ain't full of cargo. Shouldn't leave pirates unsupervised for too long. You might want to stock up on lady-things, if barbarians and virgins bother. You're not having any of mine.'

Quinn blurts out the single worst response. 'I'm not a virgin!'

I expect everyone to fall silent and watch. Thankfully the Demacian locals are keeping a wide berth. Quinn's reputation is secure. Sarah bursts out laughing. 'I take it back. You might be fun after all!' She leaves me with a giant beetroot where Quinn once stood.

I reach for her shoulder. With an angry stomp, she hisses, 'Why did you pinch me?'

'Because you were staring.'

'I wasn't!'

'You were.'

'You're imagining things! And even if I was staring, you shouldn't go touching me there when I can't so much as hug you or…' She looks away, her voice barely a whimper, 'Say that I hugged you.'

'Do you need a hug, now?'

'So you'll flaunt your body to strangers, but I get nothing unless I make a scene?' Quinn grabs my wrists. Her composure's in tatters. 'I thought something would change! If I could pay a large enough price… if I could be your hero then you'd have an excuse to… touch me once in a while. But I couldn't ever be your hero. You don't take me seriously. No one does.'

Her strength is intoxicating. 'I do, Quinn…'

'You don't!' Her eyes flash and I feel my chest heave. 'You like me. I believe that much but I'm just a girl to you, something you can dote on and throw aside when it's convenient.'

I have to assert control. A trickle of annoyance at her self-pity becomes a flood. 'For all your grand gestures, you really don't trust me, do you?'

She blinks. 'Huh?'

'My life is at risk! Volibear's not an excuse. He'll tear me apart if I betray Sejuani. Do you think I'm lying?'

'You lied before.' Her grip relaxes. The squall is over. 'We both did.'

'I know.'

She sniffs. I think she was on the verge of tears. 'But Volibear seems okay.'

'He truly believes the greater good will be served by my death. I'm alive only because my bond with Sejuani prevents him from doing right. She may love that I'm awful, but he doesn't.'

'I can imagine,' she says with a reproachful smile. 'You're so brazen sometimes, and it drives me to distraction. You're the most attractive woman I've ever seen.'

'Oh, that's a lovely thing to hear.'

'But it would help if you covered up a little.'

'Quinn…' I pout, crossing my arms underneath my breasts.

'Yes, I know. It's my problem. You wouldn't bat an eyelid if I were dressed the same but...'

'Wouldn't I?'

She studies my face like an inquisitor glimpsing a truth.

A squeaky voice disturbs our argument. 'Ooh, there you are! I was hoping I'd catch you lovebirds!' I see Lux, waving her sceptre like a dancer's baton.

Quinn avoids eye contact. 'Oh no, what does she want?'

Lux beams at us with rank insincerity. While Jarvan and I were negotiating, she was a nightmare, bombarding us with trivial questions, leaping on discrepancies and shamelessly trying every lock within our grounds. She's brilliant, inquisitive and frustrated, a perilous combination.

I wonder what game she's playing. 'So you've caught us. I take it you saw everything in Jarvan's war room?'

'Of course, clever clogs. You messed up and Quinn saved you. She's full of surprises, don't you think?'

We both look at Quinn, who fidgets under the scrutiny. 'She is,' I concur. 'Good surprises.'

Quinn says nothing. Lux rolls her eyes. 'Ignorant as always, not even a "thank you". Cat's out of the bag, you know? Can't seduce the queen of the Freljord and act all shy.'

Quinn says, 'What do you want? Are you here to make fun of me because you've been grounded?' Lux opens her mouth wide in exaggerated offence. 'Lux was eager to join us, far too eager, so His Majesty put her on scrivener duty.'

Lux waves off the blow. 'Call him Jarvan. Everyone else does and you're his golden girl.'

'I'm in disgrace!'

'You're so not and you don't realise it.' Lux winks at me. 'Sorry to bore you with our gossip, Ashe. I came here to make a simple offer but you know Quinn. She's a prickly pear who has to cause trouble.'

I say, 'She's under enough pressure without your teasing.'

'I'm not teasing. I'm jealous! I thought I'd been pushing boundaries only to see Quinn race ahead. I'm yesterday's news!'

'Whatever your intent, you're clearly distressing her. Get to the point.'

'Okie dokie. Thing is, I need some reagents. Apparently, the Shadow Isles have trees, grass and flowers growing in dead soil, forms of life without life. Anything in bloom could accelerate my… our studies by decades!'

I'm no mage but it sounds like Jarvan's left hand is dabbling in necromancy. This may be useful if I have to blackmail him again. 'Why should I give you such an advantage?'

'I'm not asking you,' says Lux. 'I'm asking Quinn.'

She frowns. 'Why should I help you destroy us with your profane experiments if His Majesty's told you no?'

'Why not? You defied him to help Ashe.'

'I challenged him to save a life, a soul, a nation. You just want more power.'

'With more power, I could save people across Runeterra, fill the tummies of Demacians and overcome their idiot superstitions.' Lux spits the word "idiot" with uncharacteristic venom. 'But you'd rather sacrifice all for some barbarian you've never met, a woman who will either prolong a bloody conflict or steal Ashe away from you.'

Quinn says quietly, 'She was never mine.'

But for one night under the stars, I was truly hers. Quinn's denial crushes my spirit. I guess I've been doing the same to her. Maybe she's come to believe there was no meaning. I could remind her otherwise but I can't imagine a crueller kindness, better that she forget.

Lux arches her back and leans into Quinn's face. 'Then find someone who is.'

I nearly bite through my knuckles while Quinn refuses to hear the obvious. 'You think it's that easy? People like me don't exist in Demacia.'

'Neither do mages, apparently, but I'm standing right in front of you.' Lux reaches out for Quinn's jaw. 'Bring me flowers, and we can go on a date.'

'You… you can't be serious!' Quinn squirms. 'Do you think I'm so easily bought?'

'I worked with espionage. I know places where like-minded women gather, right under our feet. You'll never be alone.' Quinn's interest is plain to the world. 'You like that, sweetie? Go get some flowers and show me a good time. You'll thank me for the rest of your life.'

Quinn freezes. 'Wait. You're not selling yourself. You're buying me?'

'Have you seen the boys I date? You're totally my type, and I'm all about new experiences.'

'I'm a person, Lux, not an experience!'

'Aw, come on, I wouldn't be offering, if I weren't interested in you. Beneath the mousey farm girl is a fiery rebel, threatening princes and seducing queens. Tell me that isn't hot!'

When I see Lux reach for Quinn's waist, I nearly shout, 'You've made your offer. She hasn't accepted yet.'

Lux rounds on me. 'I'm sure Quinn is perfectly capable of telling me herself.'

Quinn says, 'I'm okay, both of you.'

'Good.' Lux's smile is all teeth and fury. 'Remember, if Ashe won't look after you, others will.'

I say flatly, 'That's reassuring.'

'Isn't it just? A shame, we never got to play together. I could have had Sejuani and Lissandra at your feet, if you'd only crossed your legs.'

I swallow my pride. She's not wrong. 'You spent a lot of time and effort on our civil war but I squandered everything. I'm sorry, Luxanna.'

She touches her face, a rare sign of unease. 'I accept your apology. You'd be amazed at how rarely I deserve one. But you've cost your people far more than you'll ever cost me.' Her eyes droop. I'm suddenly mindful that she wears a lot of makeup, and her hair's a different shade from Garen's. 'After Quinn's tattle-tale, I argued your case until my throat was raw. I believed uniting your country was more important than backing a good side and fighting a good war.' She spits when she's passionate. I was happier not knowing that. 'Ashe, why don't you just rout Sejuani before saving her? Your pretty-pony-winning-through-love story may not come true but otherwise you'll risk her turning nasty when she's all fighting fit.'

'She told me the same thing,' I say, 'But I can't give her everything she wants. We don't have that sort of relationship.'

'Lie to me then. I'm beginning to think you want your struggle to last forever, but there's always a path out of the darkness. You just have to follow the light.' She smacks her own hip and says to Quinn, 'I'm serious, totally, totally serious, cutie-pie. Don't feel you have to suffer.'

Quinn's guard is back up. 'I can pursue my own happiness.' The steel in her voice quickens my blood.

Lux giggles. 'Of course you can, silly. That's why Luxie-baby offered. Whatever happens, we need to play more often.' She turns to me. 'And as for you, sort your life out. I almost looked up to you, and I don't like being wrong.'

Since when did she look up to anyone? I'd only felt inadequate in her presence. 'It means a lot to hear that. You're a brilliant young woman. You never needed a role model.'

'We all need something bigger than ourselves.' Lux waves to me then blows a kiss to Quinn. 'Be safe, okay? Life's dull enough without you two.'

She goes. Quinn and I stand in awkward silence. I'm about to speak when she interrupts me. 'Don't say it.'

'Hmm?'

'You're telling me to give her what she wants.'

'I think you should.'

'Forget it. She's kept on a short leash for good reason.' Quinn lowers her voice. Lux must have eyes and ears everywhere. 'She's dangerous. There are no good mages in Demacia.'

'Then take hold of that leash. Your secrets are known. She has every advantage to lose.'

'Unless we give her the keys to the universe.'

'That's unlikely. The dead flowers may be valuable to her, but I think your confidence is what she truly needs.'

'Why?'

'Because you're another outsider with the power to shape history. She has to keep you close, even at her expense.' I allow my gaze to dwell on Quinn's body. 'As for her personal interest, she's made that clear enough.'

'I can barely talk to people, let alone shape history. And she doesn't find me attractive. She just wants to humiliate me.'

'Those aren't mutually exclusive.' I look at my hands and recall them on Sejuani's chest.

'What? How could you hurt someone you…?'

'Forget it.' She'll understand on her own or not at all, but I fear she has the seed. Otherwise, we may not have lain together. 'Why should you feel embarrassed? She won't be half as insufferable once you've pinned her to the sheets and made her sing.'

'You don't seriously think I could...?'

'Yes, definitely.'

She studies me, as if following tracks in my mind. 'No, we're not giving Lux any more toys. Nothing good will come of that.'

'Okay,' I say brightly.

The Syren is loaded. Quinn says, 'We're off. I was hoping we could be honest for longer.'

'We'll get our chances to be mad at each other. Don't worry.'

'I'm not mad at you, I'm just…'

'I think you are.' She doesn't answer. 'You've got every right after you've done so much.'

'I…'

'Remember that I can only disappoint you. Don't sell your soul for the dregs of mine. Queen or not, I'm too slight a woman to be shared amongst all. You can't water barren soil with your blood.'

'I'm a person, Ashe, not a stain on your conscience. My life is mine to risk. I believe in your mission. When I was afraid and alone, I found solace in your land. Other broken people of Demacia… no… Runeterra deserve the same.' She closes the distance. 'Do you believe me?'

You believe no one, as your heritage implores. I'm sorry.

'Of course, I believe you.'

Quinn senses my conflict. She draws nearer. 'Then what are you scared of, Ashe?'

Everything.

'Everything.'

An answer, both complete and evasive. Quinn withdraws. 'Even if you're scared, you make me feel braver than anything I've known. I just wish you could see that.'

Sarah calls, 'Yoohoo, ladies, come on! I'm sick of this place already.'

Pulling away from Quinn, I sprint for the boarding ramp. The waves bounce in time with my gut. As I lose my balance, I feel Quinn at my back, ready to catch and engulf me.

Volibear says, 'Keep walking, on all fours if you must.'

I grab onto his voice like it's a chain. Sejuani, I won't fall yet.