Once they were far enough into 'safe space' a very loose term in these waring times, Keith took over piloting their Shuttle.
Arnek, their pilot; had more medic experience than either Keith or Pidge so it made sense for him to treat Mance's injuries, Pidge assisted where she could.
Keith's helmet was off and placed to the side, making sure it was still in arms reach. The thing was uncomfortable and now that they were far enough away the disguises wouldn't be needed.
At the corner of his eye, he saw Pidge entering the cockpit, tapping the button on their side to close the sliding door behind her.
"Mance is stable and should make a full recovery. Though he'll be a lot better once we get him to a location with proper medical equipment" Pidge informed Keith, her dress more torn up than before. Keith could only guess they ran out of gauze and had to improvise with her dress to stop the bleeding and stabilize other injuries.
"That's good to hear" Keith nodded before looking back out at space, Pidge sitting down in the co-pilot seat. He was a little surprised, the short girl was choosing to sit up here with him, instead of staying in the back… though he didn't know what kind of mess was back there either so it could have been more about the smell or sights than the company.
"You made the right call going after him" Keith added glancing over at her.
"Somebody needed to" Pidge replied dryly keeping her gaze looking out the window, out at the blur of stars they passed by.
Keith couldn't help but wonder if Pidge even enjoyed his company any more, on the most part they got along on this mission, but Pidge definitely showed times where she was clearly… not happy with him. He wanted to ask her so many questions but now that he was alone with her, able to talk his mind felt blank.
"So…" Pidge began glancing over at him "are we going to talk or…" Keith looked over at her a little started not expecting the suggestion, a part of him wondering if Pidge gained the ability to read minds.
She paused for a few seconds waiting for a reply before she chose to continue "remember in the tunnel I suggested we talk later?" she questioned with a raised eyebrow.
Of course she made a plan and went through with it, Pidge's good like that, reliable like that "it seemed like you wanted to say something back their" she added glancing down at her hands and pulling off her gloves stained with blood now, as if the action would trigger his memory when he never forgot in the first place.
"Right…" Keith nodded, how long had he waited to talk to her in private, the cockpit now closed off from the back, Pidge most likely doing so on purpose so they could have some time to talk. While keeping prying ears or eyes off of them. Damn Keith wanted, needed to talk to her for so long, but the questions, the words he wanted to say felt jumbled and heavy in his throat, it felt almost impossible to push out.
"Alright, I'll start" Pidge stated, a frustrated edge to her tone "When did you stop trusting me?"
Keith felt like the wind was suddenly knocked out of him, a part of him hating how pidge's words could feel like punches, ones that often hurt way more than any physical ones. "What…" he managed to push out, looking at her stunned. Keith trusted Pidge, he didn't trust many people, but he knew he trusted Pidge.
"Pidge, I trust you" Keith swore, her eyes narrowing on him, she didn't believe him "honestly I'm more surprised you still trust me" Keith confessed.
"You sure as heck didn't show any sign of trusting me" Pidge replied with a growl, Keith recognized that growl, it was too little high pitch to be anger. So she must have been trying to mask her hurt.
She looked away from him her hands tightly gripping her torn up dress "And of course I still trust you, I haven't 'forgotten' how to trust you"
"What does that mean" Keith question, she was hurt with an edge of anger that much was clear to him, but didn't know what he did that caused it.
"Name once during this mission you trusted me" Pidge shot back "without needing me to explain myself first."
Keith opened his mouth expecting the answer to come easily to him, they had trusted each other and communicated without the needs for words plenty of times before through glances or guiding touches. Keith had to shut his mouth he could name a few times where she grabbed him but he let never her take the lead, or followed her without a second thought... He hadn't been trusting her.
"I didn't realize I was doing that..." he answered, the revelation hitting him hard, Keith had been so worried about Pidge not trusting him, that he never even thought the trust issues he saw between them was on his end, not her's.
"You haven't been realizing a lot lately" Pidge stated, with a frustrated sigh.
"...what do you mean?" Keith asked, Shiro hadn't really mentioned anything but he honestly hadn't spent that much time around him either, not since joining the blades.
"Have you realized how much you've changed since joining the blades?" Pidge questioned, her only reply was silence, as he waited for her to elaborate.
"You turned down helping someone in desperate need, you hesitated when I gave you a hypothetical questioned about saving Shiro," Pidge said her outrage from before came boiling back. "The Keith I know… knew, wouldn't hesitate to help save lives"
Keith's head whipped towards her, his gut twisting and burning at her words"I was trying to stay focused on the mission, that information could save a lot of lives. I was trying to think logically" he defended
"Thinking logically doesn't mean you turn off your heart" Pidge snapped back "and I'm not done, as soon as Shiro came back you kept spending more and more time as a blade than our leader even though you were growing to be a great leader we all believed in... I was so proud of you." her last words made both their chest tighten and surge with pain, but Pidge wasn't done.
"I was so happy when you came to me, asking for you to teach you some hacking tricks. I thought it was your way to learn more and become a better leader, not so you could do more missions with the blades" she growled, embitter hurt tears pooling in her eyes.
"You used me, then turned your back on the team" Pidge shoulders were shaking the grip on her dress tightening tears streaking down her cheeks and dripping down onto her dress "hoping the black lion would accept Shiro again, so you could leave!" Pidge had kept her mouth shut for too long, kept her feelings bottled up as much as she could, but now they were exploding.
Keith looked over at Pidge stunned he wasn't good with emotions, but her words felt like she had impaled him through the chest, the shooting curling pain in his torso felt overwhelming, and his stomach felt like it had been punched more times than he could count.
He was used to other people turning his back on him, he never thought never intended to do the same to Pidge and rest of the team, Keith just wanted to do what was best for them, he didn't want to leave, he never meant to hurt Pidge.
"I miss you… the old you, the one who put lives before duty, who didn't hesitate to help someone even if there was only a small chance of it succeeding. The Keith that would keep learning and pushing forward to make himself better. The Keith that would help me learn new fighting moves, during ungodly early mornings, and doing the same stupid move over and over again until it became instinct. Spending late nights with me creating programs for you to practice hacking on or just keeping me company while I tried to make something for the team." Pidge started crying more, biting her lip so she wouldn't start sobbing "I miss the Keith that trusted me" she chocked out.
That last string in Keith broke, in one fluid motion, he flicked the autopilot on, collapsing onto one knee beside Pidge's seat. His arms pulling her into a tight hug, holding the small girl's body close to his as if she could slip through his arms if he wasn't careful. His whole shaking as he held her, resting his head onto her shoulder.
"Keith?" Pidge questioned her crying pausing, most;y out of surprised than anything else, she had never had Keith hug her like this before.
"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, to make you feel used, I just wanted to do what was best for everyone," he explained holding onto her a little tighter.
Pidge blinking a few times, the tears clearing from her eyes, as she twisted herself to better face him, his voice sounding so…shattered.
"Shiro was so angry and frustrated after the Black Lion rejected him I just wanted to fix things and Lance was so scared about not having a place in Voltron, I… I at least could join the blades, I could still help" Keith explained, gripping onto the back of her dress tighter, he absolutely hated himself for making Pidge feel abandoned, and used.
He hated the people that made him feel that way growing up, bouncing from foster home to foster home, people using him for a paycheck and then tossing him to the next person when he was considered too much trouble. He never thought he would do the same to anyone else, epically not to the few people he truly cared about.
His body tensed feeling her arms move, expecting her to push him away. He wouldn't blame her, he probably deserved it, but he just couldn't physically bring himself to let her go.
Pidge's arms snaked under his arms and around his torso, resting her head on his shoulder. "You're so dumb, you should have told us, we could have helped figure out something, not everything had to fall onto your shoulders just because were the pilot of the black lion," she told him in a soft scolding tone.
Keith releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding, thankful she didn't reject him, or declared her hatred for him "I'm sorry, I've never been the best at planning."
"Than you should have figured out sooner that it wasn't a good idea and talk to us" Pidge huffed against his shoulder.
"I should have left the planning to you right?" He questioned with a soft smile "let you figure out the math"
"Yes, you should of listen to Lance and left the math to me" She replied.
Keith pulled away from Pidge to looking at her, surprised, a little mad and feeling kind of betrayed "I was the one that told him that!" he corrected.
"I know, Lance told me what you said," she answered, with a small triumphant smile.
Keith blushing slightly realizing her misdirection was done on purpose.
"Just making sure my point is hammered into your head" she replied her smile growing into a slightly amused smirk.
"I take it I shouldn't tell Lance to do one thing then do the complete opposite?" Keith questioned, the burst of emotion left him feeling tired and oldy relaxed as well, leaning down to gently rest his head against Pidge's.
"Yeah, something like that" she replied, nodded slightly against his forehead her eyes glancing up at him.
He could see the same emotional drain he felt reflecting in her honey brown eyes. Holding so much emotion back, for such a naturally expressive person must have not been easy on her either. Keith wished they had gotten the chance to talk about this sooner, he hated the thought that she had this lingering pain inside of her for so long.
Keith's gaze flickering down to her painted lips, recalling again how the magenta colour made them shine and stand out in a surprisingly pretty way, for a moment he wondered-
"Keith hows-" Arnek began his question as he opened the door, freezing in his spot, as he absorb the intimate way the two humans were holding each other, the two humans looking up at the door surprised with the sudden intrusion "My apologies I didn't mean to step in on a moment with you mate" Arnek apologized quickly stepping back and closing the door again.
Keith and Pidge stared at the door confused, it taking a few moments for Arneks words to sink in after the surprised faded, then their emotions spiked into embarrassment as they whipped their heads to look at the other, a deep red painting both their cheeks.
"I need to get back to piloting" Keith burst out scrambling away from her and back into the pilot seat.
"Right, I'll keep an eye on the scanners" Pidge quickly replied turning her self back around to face the console opening as many screens as possible on her side.
"Thanks" Keith replied, the word stumbling out of his mouth at a much faster pace than he normally spoke.
"No p" Pidge replied, cutting off her own words when she felt her voice start to squeak.
The two not daring to look at the other, mentally fighting down their fiery blushes, at the implications of being called mates.
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