Summary: Pidge takes a quiet moment to reflect on herself and on the talk she had with Keith. Through Mance she learns something very interesting about how the Marmora members view their blades, and how it brings a new meaning behind some of Keith's past and present actions.
A/N:Thanks to SailorSnowflack, Haleygur7, Cayla Mea, and Ayeshaazam1998 for reviewing the last chapter! =3
Pidge walked into the back part of their shuttle ship, trying to be as quiet as possible; Mance resting on a folded back chair. She wasn't sure if he was sleeping or resting with his eyes close, but Pidge let him be.
She made her way over to one of the windows. They were at the randevu, their ship parked near an asteroid field, far away from most galra patrol sectors.
Arnek needed to send a coded message through the blades private channels. The procedure was to confirm they were, who they were. The blades of Marmora, always did their best not to be found and to protect Voltron.
She couldn't blame them for being cautious. If their allies, even her team knew the kinds of backups she had in place. For everyone... for any one of them to betray her or the team, she wondered if they would ever trust her again.
If someone asked her when she stopped trusting people, or maybe the better question was; when did she lose the capability to completely trust someone? She couldn't give an answer, not sure herself.
A part of her wanted to place the blame on the Kerberos mission when she lost two people she completely trusted. But there was always this little voice in the back of her mind, one that knew her trust issues were embedded into her a long time before that.
To put it simply, her mistrust had only grown since the Kerberos mission when she stopped trusting everyone. Spreading over her mind after the fight with Zarkon and they lost Shiro. Flourishing in her being as Keith rejected his role as their leader. Blooming and rooting deep into her heart when Keith left…
Yet somehow, deep down she still trusted him without hesitation, even Keith had expected her to lose trust in him... Logically Pidge should have, she had every right to build her walls back up against him, make him work to break them back down. Pidge couldn't logically explain the reason why, but it only took a few gestures or words that were so uniquely Keith; in how unsure but earnest they were, to make her walls crumble just enough to make her instincts trust him.
Logically; through facts, and experience, Pidge knew Keith would never let her be hurt… at least not physically.
Pidge's eyes flickered to the cockpit door, before gazing out the window once more. It was nice and relieving to finally talk to Keith. Have the chance to get her feelings out in the open, to tell him what he's put her through how he hurt her, nothing left buried inside of her to fester.
Even if it left her feeling tired, her emotions feel numb and burned raw from the explosions of emotions.
Pidge let out a small sigh gazing out at the asteroids slowly tumbling by. One question still lingering inside of her... why did Keith stop trusting her? What made him build up walls against her, what had she done to cause them? His words about wanting to do what he thought was best for the team linger in her mind. Pidge begins to think and wonder if at the same moment he lost his place within Voltron, he lost trust in all of them.
A paranoid part of her piped up, saying it might just be her he lost trust in. That she just wanted to make up a reason it wasn't just her fault. The thought didn't linger long as her logical side pointed out she had done everything she could to support him. Though she never hid her disappointment and frustration over his focus going towards the blades more than the team and even could admit to herself there were times she was a little too cold towards him.
Her logical side reminding her that Keith's own choices played a large factor as well, choices that only he could take responsibility and ownership of. Choices Pidge couldn't have changed even if she found a way to go back in time.
She let out a soft sigh resting her forehead against the window, the surface so much cooler than the feeling of Keith's head resting against hers. Her mind playing over his words. Recalling how tightly he hugged her, the way his body and arms shook with emotion and restraining himself from holding her any tighter. The Look in his lavender eyes giving her hope that things might finally change, maybe build back what they had before, or at least try to make things better between them.
Pidge let out a long wistful sigh, her breath fogging up most of her own reflection. All she could do now was wait and see if Keith would try.
"Is something wrong?" the groggy voice of Mance questioned.
The human girl lifted her head looking back at the injured blade, giving him a slight nod "yes, everything's okay" she assured, "Arnek is signalling the other blades; that we're ready for pick up."
"And you're here, to watch over me?" Mance questioned.
"No, well maybe partly, I mostly got kicked out because I'm not an official blade member" Pidge replied.
"Ah I see," Mance hummed in understanding "if you are not a blade member then why are you helping us? Is it because your mate; Keith, is one?"
The reflex to deny Keith was her mate quickly bubbled up in her throat, but the questions flooding her mind drowned and washed the reflex away. "Why do you think we're mates?" Pidge questioned turning around to better face him.
"He allows you to hold and use his blade**" Mance stated as if that was an unmistakable sign.
"Okay…" she replied confused why he seemed so sure, "Is that special?" Pidge questioned, she knew Keith's blade was very important to him; it was his only connection, only clue to who his mother was.
Pidge honestly never put much thought into how every blade could symbolize something cultural within the group.
"Yes," Mance quickly answer, realization played across his features "right you are not a member so you wouldn't know…" he hummed pausing and thinking for a few minutes.
Pidge assumed since they were a secret society, Mance was weighing out what to tell her and what should remain confidential.
"How much do you know about our blades?" Mance questioned.
"It's a symbol of your organization and verification of each member, along with a way to test new members 'awaking' " Pidge replied, but truthfully didn't really understand how awaking worked… or how it triggered… or allow a member to change their blade from a dagger to a sword once awakened.
Pidge mentally filed it under the blood magic.
"Yes our blades do have that purpose, but it is also an extension of ourselves, not just in the battle sense but in a spiritual sense," Mance explained.
Pidge frowned tilting her head to the side "I'm sorry I don't understand what that means" she confessed, looking a little puzzled.
"When we die, often all that's left is our blade, a part of yourself that remains to continue the fight, and to be given to the ones that come after us. So an aspect of yourself can aid them in future fights and endeavours" Mance explained.
Pidge still felt puzzled "so when you say your blade is an extension of yourselves…"
"Each blade holds a part of the wielder's soul" Mance answered "along with fragments of the ones that came before us, this is why a wielder will only allow a mate, their children or someone in those regards to ever touch their blades"
"Oh…" Pidge hummed and nodded, she wasn't sure if Keith knew about that, or even if he believed in it.
On the other hand, Keith did view his blade as his most precious possession. Even if her friend didn't believe in the blade being a part of his soul, the level of personal importance the blade held to Keith, was on the same level as any other Marmora member.
Pidge turned to face the cockpit door as it whooshed open.
"The castle of lions should be here soon" Arnek informed her.
Pidge nodded in conformation, her thoughts elsewhere at the moment. Glancing past Arnek and into the cockpit.
"You can return to the navigation seat, I'll watch over Mance," Arnek told her, the corners of his lips tugging in a smile as he looked down at her.
Pidge blushing slightly wondering if he was also still assuming her and Keith were mates.
"Thanks" Pidge replied, Arnek stepping aside to let her into the cockpit, the blade agent closing the door behind her before she could do it herself.
Keith looks up from the sensors, giving her a slight smile and nod before he gaze returned to the monitors. They still needed to be careful and make sure no one snuck up on them.
Pidge took her seat in the co-pilots chair starting up some of her own sensors and monitors so she could keep watch as well. Her eyes flicking over to Keith a few times before she simply had to ask.
"Keith, could I see your blade for a moment?" Pidge asked looking over at him.
"Sure" Keith replied glancing over at her a little puzzled but didn't hesitate as he pulled out his blade and offered it to her.
Pidge carefully grabbing the hilt and holding it in her hands, gazing at the small blade in a new light…
There was still a part of Keith that trusted her.
"Keith?"
"Yeah?" he asked his eyes already back on the monitors.
"Just to give you fair warning, Mance thinks we're mates too"
Keith's eyes widen, giving the short girl a double take, mouth open in surprise, his cheeks blooming a deep red again.
Pidge couldn't help but smile and muffle a laugh at his reaction before she started telling Keith what Mance told her.
** if you look back to ch 5 Rescue, you will notice Mace getting embarrassed when Keith gave Pidge his blade, and this is why it was like watching an intimate moment between two people by the Marmora standards. ;3
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