Chapter 2 - Healing.

Kara is sitting silently in front of Kelly since a while, if her calculation based on the sound of the clock ticking is correct, it's actually been forty minutes and thirty-seven seconds.

Kelly is looking at her with kindness and probably waits for her to start talking, but Kara doesn't know where to start. Her brain is coursing with so many thoughts that it's makes her heart speed-up.

She looks down as she whispers, "I'm sorry to make you waste your time."

"You're not wasting my time." Kelly replies with a smile.

"I came here to talk about my issues but I can't find anything to say, that's make me feel guilty."

After a few seconds of silence, Kelly says,"You seem to feel guilty about a lot of things."

"You have no idea." Kara mutters.

"Do you know why you feel like this?"

"I think I always felt like this, but it's got worse when Lena found out the truth about me."

"Do you know why?"

"Not really, it's just...Everything's my fault." Kara says with a trembling voice.

"Why do you think that?"

"I hid that I'm Supergirl for years, I pretended to be someone I'm not... I lied to her every day. I'm surprised that she doesn't hate me more than that... But maybe she does and that's why I didn't hear from her since then….I just wish that I could go back in time, so, I could do everything differently and give her the friendship she deserves."

"You can't do that unfortunately, but you can work on what is happening now."

"I don't know what to do." Kara says."I just feel...stuck."

"But you keep moving anyway." Kelly smiles.

"I have to...the whole world count on me." Kara says.

"How do feel about that?"

"About what?" Kara frowns.

"About being a superhero." Kelly smiles.

"Well." Kara pauses for a few seconds before saying, "I like that...Most of the times. I like striving to be a symbol of hope in a world who desperately needs someone like that. I feel like helping people is my mission, I don't know who I am without this."

"I see." Kelly smiles. "If you don't mind me saying that, I feel that you focus too much on the rest of the world and that's make you forget yourself."

"What do you mean by I forget myself?" Kara asks with a frown.

"I don't know you since a long time but from what I've seen, I think you don't take the time to analyze your feelings and therefore you don't take the time necessary to process your emotions, and that's could explain why you feel stuck right now." Kelly explains. "You said you like being a superhero most of the times, when don't you like it?"

"Well I...sometimes I feel like everything is too much and I just want to hide somewhere and waiting for someone to save the day instead of being the one everyone counts on." Kara says as she looks down.

"You don't have to feel ashamed about that."

"I feel like I do...I'm not supposed to feel like this." Kara sighed.

"How do you think you're supposed to feel?"

"I'm supposed to be strong all the times, I have to be able to find a solution for every problem and I want to be able to save everyone and fix everything."

"No one can do that, no even a superhero."

"But the whole world expect that from me." Kara mutters.

"How do you feel about that?"

"I think it's not fair...I think it's asking too much from one person." Kara sighed.

"I completely agree with you." Kelly smiles."I think the most important thing to do now is to remove the heavyweight you have on your shoulders or at least...making it less heavy."

"How?"

"I don't know yet...but we're gonna figuring that out." Kelly smiles before checking the hour."I think that will be all for today. Do you have something you want to talk about before we conclude?"

"uhm...I..I don't know. I have so many things on my mind right now."

"I understand. The first session is always kind of hectic." Kelly smiles."Try to put some of your thoughts in order until next time."

"I will." Kara says with a smile and for the first time in forever it was a genuine one.

After she headed outside, Kara decided to walk instead of flying. She was walking down the street when her phone vibrated, she smiles when she sees it's a phone call from Alex.

She doesn't even have the time to say anything that her sister already asks,"How did it go?"

"It went well." Kara smiles."You were right, your girlfriend is really competent, I see her again next week."

After her first appointment with Kelly, Kara spent a more peaceful week in her mind. She still thought a lot about Lena, but she was now able to think about herself too, and that was a good step in the right direction.

And here she was, back in front of her therapist when Kelly asks with a smile,"So, how are you doing?"

"I don't know if I'm really much better but I'm able to think about my own well-being...sometimes."

"That's a good thing, already." Kelly smiles.

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"Is there something precise you want to talk about?"

Kara took a few seconds to think before saying,"I'm tired of feeling guilty about everything."

"That's understandable, about what do you feel guilty the most?"

"So many things." Kara sighed. "For instance I feel guilty about being so weak that I need a therapy..."

"Do you really think going to therapy is a sign of weakness?"

"Uhm...its...maybe. I feel like it is for me." Kara stammers.

"It's kinda an insult for my job, don't you think?... I'm kidding." Kelly chuckles when she sees Kara's embarrassed expression. "Actually a lot of people have misconceptions about what therapy is really about, mainly because mental struggles are often not taken seriously but that's another problem. It's actually extremely brave to seek out for the help you need and no you're not weak for needing that help."

Kara pondered what Kelly just said before talking more about her internal struggles, "I also feel guilty to be hurt. Especially about what happened with Lena." She says as she looks down.

"Do you want to talk about her for a while?"

Kara can feel the lump in her throat coming back at the thought of the person she misses the most right now, when she says with a shaking voice,"I'm not sure it's a good idea. I don't want to be a crying mess again."

"That's could make you feel better."

"This messy situation between us right now in entirely my fault, because I betrayed her, so I feel like I'm not allowed to feel miserable because of that… she's probably feels even worse than me…" Kara explains as her eyes are glossy.

"This is not a competition of who has the worst, Kara. You don't have to make a list of valid reasons to allow yourself to feel what you feel. If you're hurt, you're hurt. That's all. And the best thing you can do now is to accept your pain and allowing yourself to feel it. That's the beginning of the healing process."

"So, does it mean that I should stop yelling at myself in my mind to get over it every time I feel bad about anything and that I shouldn't minimize the depth of my wounds?" Kara asks while she adjusts her glasses.

"Indeed." Kelly smiles.

"Well...I think that's gonna take some work." Kara sighed.

"Of course, healing is not something that can happen overnight."

"How can I stop blaming myself for everything?" Kara asks as she fidgets in her seat.

"Developing healthy coping mechanism is the key. When you realize that you're falling back into your old habits of self-blame, try to break your train of thought. One of the most efficient way is to send a positive message to your brain."

"Like what?" Kara frowns.

"Well, that's could sound stupid but tell yourself that no matter how much you can be strong, you can't control everything that is happening in this world and even if you can truly make the world a better place you can't fix everything all the times. Learn to let go when you can't do anything else." Kelly explains.

"I guess, I can try that." Kara says."But what if that doesn't work?"

"There is also another option, who is distracting your mind. For example, focus on something you love, like watch your favorite movie or dance in your apartment at the sound of your favorite song. Or you can also count on those you love to help you feel better."

"I often try to avoid that, I don't want to risk making the people I love to feel bad too."

"I can't tell that it's surprise me." Kelly smiles. "You're able to do anything for those you love, why does it never cross your mind that these people also want to be there for you? Sometimes we're stronger together."

"El mayarah." Kara mutters.

"What?" Kelly frowns.

"That's means stronger together in Kryptonian." Kara explains. "On Krypton I've been taught that to accept help from people is not a shame, it's an honor."

"Look like Kryptonian are a wise people." Kelly smiles.

"For some things, I guess." Kara says. "But for some reasons that I ignore, I seem to have forgotten this."

"You will just have to learn it again." Kelly smiles.

Since she started her therapy, Kara wasn't spending as much sleepless night as she used to. She was able to get some rest but that didn't stop the nightmares to intrude in her mind, even if these nightmares felt more like old memories that she had tried to erase. She saw her parents putting her in the pod, she saw Krypton exploding shortly after that. She saw herself in that pod where she spent years without knowing if she could ever get out of it. Even if she was dreaming, she could still felt in her sleep the exact same pain she felt while her pod wandered through space until it stuck her in the phantom zone. The feeling of being completely lonely and the silence who had surrounded her for all those years were the worst parts.

She wakes up brutally as she struggles to breathe, her heart is pounding so much that she can hear it and even feel it in her head.

She lights on the light before sitting down on her bed. Her legs are close to her chest while her arms are wrapped around them. She hides her face against her knees as she starts crying silently. After a few minutes, her sobs calmed, she sniffed before getting up to search a tissue.

She was terrified to go back in her bedroom, to be alone in the silence. She thought about what Kelly told her at their last session, she wasn't in the mood to watch a movie, she knew that wouldn't be enough to distract her, it was four am so of course dancing in her apartment wasn't a option, she didn't have the energy for that anyway. Only the last advice was left, counting on those she loves. She took a deep breath and dialed Alex's number.

Lena was tossing and turning in her bed since three hours, she struggled with insomnia since as long as she could remember, but this issue has become worse since she found out the truth about Kara. She knew that there was no way she could fall asleep tonight, she grunted before pulling the sheets away from her and getting-up.

She takes a soft blanket to keep her company before going to the balcony of her penthouse. She looks up in the sky, who was full of stars. For some unknown reasons, stars make her think of Kara. Maybe because stars make the night sky more beautiful the same way Kara has made her life more beautiful all those years.

The more the time passed, the less Kara's betrayal hurt her, she understands more why her best friend acted the way she did, she was less mad too. But unfortunately that didn't stop all her other wounds to still be wide opens while they keep bleeding in a hurtful way.

Even if she was feeling a little better these last weeks, she still felt gloomy and lonely. She knew she needed help to get over all the shit that happened to her all those years, maybe it was time for her to get back to her friends, she just hoped they would still want her in their team. Especially one of them.

She looks up at the brightest star of the sky and decided that for the night it was named Kara. She smiles at the thought of her best friend, yeah, it was time to go back home.

Early the next morning, Lena was planning to go seeing Kara today, she was getting ready when a knock to her door interrupted her.

When she opened the door and sees who was on the other side, she felt her deepest anger and resentment coursing through her veins. "What are you doing here?!"

"This is not a way to greet your mother, honey".

"You didn't answer my question." Lena says.

"I came here to make peace."

"And you expect me to just trust you?" Lena scoffs.

"Please, let me come in at least." Lillian pleaded.

Lena sighed before letting her mother entering her penthouse.

"So, how are you doing?"

"Do you even really care about my feelings?" Lena asks, suspicious.

"Of course I do, I love you." Lillian says. "I have changed Lena and I want to be better for you."

"How I'm supposed to believe you?" Lena scoffs.

Lillian sighed before explaining herself, "What happened to Lex, what he did...That's made me realize that I've been unfair with you all these years. You're the one I should have protected more… I should have been on your side. And I'm sorry for the way I hurt you…I promise if you are agree to give me another chance, I'll won't disappoint you."

"You have no idea how much I want to believe you." Lena says, with a downcast voice.

"If you want to make sure that I'm telling the truth, why don't you put back the truth-seeker around my arm."

"You're serious?" Lena frowns.

"Yes. I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with that thing with me if that's means that I can be part of your life."

Lena paused for a few seconds, pondering her decision when she finally sighed,"Fine...Let's do this."

Lena was annoyed that her plan for the day has been ruined, she always hated when things didn't go the way she planed them. Her visit to Kara would have to wait, for now, she needed to make a stop at the DEO.

Lena is walking in the DEO, it's the first time she comes back here since she found out that Kara is Supergirl. She looks everywhere, nothing has changed. She wonders where her friends are when she hears a voice behind her, "Lena?"

She stops at this sound and turns around and says quietly, "Alex..."

Alex smiles at her as she asks,"How are you doing? Do you need something?"

Lena deliberately ignore the question about "how she is doing," she doesn't even really know it anyway and answers the next question, "I need the truth-seeker again...My mother came to me this morning, she says she wants us to make peace and all that but there's no way I can trust her that easily."

"You can take anything you need." Alex smiles.

"Thank you." Lena says before starting to go.

"Uhm...Lena?"

Lena sighed slightly before turning around again,"Yes..."

"It's good to see you again." Alex smiles.

Lena doesn't say anything, she just nods with a little smile.

At the third session, Kara gets deeper into what she's feeling, talking about all the things that she had kept for herself all these years, mainly because she didn't want to annoy everyone and being a burden to others. But for once she doesn't have to hold back anything, because Kelly is more than willing to listen to her, of course that's her job but Kara can tell by the way she's looking at her that she care about her and really wants to help her to get better. So, she talks about her life on Krypton, about what she felt when she lost everything, she doesn't hide the kind of resentment she sometimes feels against her parents.

"Do you feel like your parents gave you up?"

"In some way...Even if I understand why they did it but that doesn't stop the fact that I have been alone in a pod for twenty-four years, thinking I would have been stuck like this forever until I landed on earth."

"What did you feel when you landed here?"

"I..." Kara paused for a few seconds before saying, "It was kind of rocky...I had to hide who I really was. I had all these powers that I could barely control but I had to find a way to hide them anyway."

"Was it the most difficult part?"

"I don't know what was the most difficult thing. It wasn't only having powers that was hard, it was...I don't know how to explain that." Kara sighed.

"It's okay, take your time." Kelly smiles.

"I don't know if that's make sense but being an alien doesn't only give me powers...I feel like it also make my brain work very differently than humans." Kara explains. "I'm more able to deal with that now than when I was a teen, mainly because I spend a lot of time kind of studying how humans functioned, trying to adapt myself to this world without drawing too much attention on me."

"Did it work?"

"For the most part yes...Even if that didn't stop everyone at school to make fun of me when I was being too weird. If I wouldn't have had Alex, I think I would have felt very lonely and everything would have been so much harder." She couldn't stop the little smile to take place on her face every time she mentions Alex. "She filled the hollowness I had in my heart when I landed here, even if things haven't been easy at the start. But once we got close, we never let go of each other. I can't imagine how my life would have been without her, or without all the incredible persons I've met here, humans or aliens...Even if I'm an alien I feel like my place is on earth."

"Is that the reason you didn't stay on Argo City when you find out your mom was still alive?"

"I think so. When I've been reunited with my mom it has been one of the moment where I've been the happiest. But the few days I've lived as Kara Zor-El, normal citizen of Argo City, made me realized that my place wasn't there anymore. I was meant to live on earth with the family I've chosen, balancing my life between being Kara Danvers and Supergirl."

After a few minutes of silence, Kelly says with a smile."You've made a lot of progress today."

"Really? I did?" Kara asks as she wrinkled her forehead.

"Yes, the first time you came here you told me you felt like your mission on earth was to help people. Today you say you was meant to live on earth as Kara and Supergirl and you talked about Kara first, which means that you start thinking about yourself more and that's a very good thing." Kelly smiles. "I'm proud of you and you should be too."

At Kara's apartment the Danvers sisters are watching TV while they eat pizza. Alex can't stop shifting on the couch and Kara can clearly see that something is bugging her sister.

She stares at her sister, waiting for her to talk about what bothering her when Alex asks,"What?"

"I can see that something bug you, are you going to tell me what is it?"

Alex sighed before saying,"You seem to feel better these last weeks, I don't want to say something that could risk making you erase all the progress you've made."

Alex doesn't need to say more for Kara to understand,"Is this about Lena?" she asks as a confirmation.

Alex nods,"She came at the DEO today."

"Is she okay?"

"Uhm...She looked fine."

"Did she asked about me?"

"She didn't stay long you know...she just needed to borrow the truth-seeker."

"For what?" Kara frowns.

"Her mother came to her this morning, she wants to rebuild their relationship from what I gathered but Lena has still a hard time to trust her, which is understandable."

"What?" Kara exclaims."You mean Lillian Luthor is probably with her right now?"

"Probably...What's the problem Kara?"

"Lillian Luthor is one of the most dangerous person of all the planets combined...I have to do something." Kara says as she gets-up quickly.

Alex knows it's useless to try to resonate her sister... When it comes to Lena's safety, Kara only listen her heart, always.

So, she just watched Kara using her super-speed while she changed into her Supergirl suit before flying through the window.

Kara flew fast until Lena's penthouse, the brunette was on her balcony with a red blanket around her, she seemed to stargaze when Kara landed in front of her.

Lena is astonished to see her best friend, she stares at her speechless when Kara start rambling, "I'm sorry to came here unannounced... but I learned your mother came to you this morning, so... I wanted to make sure you were okay. I can leave if you rather…"

"No, stay here please." Lena smiles." I missed you."

"I missed you too." Kara says, while she tried to hold back her needs to take Lena in her arms. "So is your mom here?"

"Yes, She's asleep, and she's gonna live with me for a while, that's the best way to make sure she's not gonna hurt anyone...I need to keep an eye on her to make sure I can really trust her."

"She'd better not hurting you either." Kara grumbles.

Lena smiles at this reaction, she missed the feeling of having Kara worried about her, protecting her, she missed her best friend, and she felt guilty for no reaching out sooner to her, "I'm sorry for all the distance I caused between us for so long ...I was planning to go seeing you today but as you know I have been interrupted."

"It's okay." Kara smiles."You needed some time for yourself, I understand. Unconsciously, I think I needed that alone time too, to heal from some things...But that was painful to not have you in my life every day…How are you doing now?"

"I don't know." Lena sighed. "I feel better about what happened between us, I took a lot of time to think and now I understand more why you did what you did but... it has opened a lot of wounds that I tried hard to forget and now I feel like I'm constantly bleeding emotionally...that's must sound stupid."

"It's not stupid at all." Kara smiles."I kinda felt like this a few weeks ago...But I'm better now."

"What did you do to feel better?"

"A therapy."

"Really?" Lena asks, surprise.

"Yeah...I do it with Kelly...Maybe that could help you too."

"I don't think so." Lena scoffs."I already did a lot of therapy when I was younger, that's never helped me, it's quite the opposite actually…I feel never listen to and always misunderstood and that's make me feel even worse."

"Kelly is really competent, I'm sure she could help you."

"I feel weak to not being able to heal alone." Lena says as she looks down.

"I get that feeling...But you're not weak and that's actually brave to seek out for the help you need."

"I'll think about it." Lena says before taking a look at Kara in her Supergirl suit. "It's the first time that I see you like this since I know the truth and when I think about it I don't know how it's possible that I didn't' figure this out by myself."

"What do you mean?" Kara frowns.

"It's just...you and Supergirl, you really look so alike and of course I know why now but still I feel stupid to not have seen it sooner." Lena smiles. "You smell the same way too."

"I don't know how I'm supposed to take that." Kara chuckles.

"As a compliment...You have a comforting smell" Lena smiles. "There's also the way you look at me..."

"How do I look at you?"

"As if I was important to you." Lena says.

"But you are important to me, Lena." Kara smiles."You are one of the most important person of my life."

"Can you stay here with me for a while?" Lena asks, quietly.

"Nothing could make me more happy." Kara says as she tries to contain the burst of happiness she feels in her chest.

They both get inside the penthouse and sit down on the couch. Lena lays her head on Kara's shoulder while the blonde wraps her arms around her best friend.

With the feeling of Kara's protective arms around her, Lena feels like suddenly her wounds are less opens and her emotional bleeding is less harsh. She feels safe and that's the most important thing at this moment.

As Kara nuzzles herself against Lena's hair softly, while she holds her tight, for the first time in a while, she feels whole again.

Thanks for the feedback on the first chapter. I'll be happy to know what you think of this one, so as usual, reviews are greatly appreciated. ;)