Chapter 4 - Coming Home.
Kara stirred as she felt herself waking-up, she nuzzled against the soft surface against her while her eyes were still closed. She inhaled the alluring vanilla scent for a few seconds and furrowed her brow before opening her eyes, her arms were wrapped around Lena-who was still asleep. She gasped silently in surprise before quickly and quietly getting-up from the bed. She didn't even take the time to take a breakfast, she written a note to Lena for when she'll wake-up and changed into her Supergirl suit before flying through the window. She needed to clear her mind for a little while.
When Lena opened her eyes this morning, she frowned while she wondered where she was. She took a look at her surroundings, before realizing that she was in Kara's bedroom- except that Kara wasn't there and the apartment seemed to be empty. After heading outside of the bedroom, she noticed a note on the table. She smiled when she saw it was Kara's handwriting.
"I'm sorry I couldn't take a breakfast with you this morning, Supergirl had some stuffs to handle. I'll call you later."
Lena sighed, she knew Kara probably had no issues with her staying in her apartment while she wasn't there but for some unknown reasons, Lena wasn't comfortable with this idea. Being in this apartment felt too good and too safe, it was like coming home after a long absence, it was the same feelings Kara gives her, it was way too scary and Lena wasn't ready to face these feelings, not yet. She took her bag and headed to the front door, a certain blonde couldn't stop occupying all her thoughts.
Lena was sitting in front of Kelly again, this time she was less anxious than the first time, even though she was still kinda nervous.
"So, are you feeling better than last week?" Kelly asks with smile.
"I think so...Even if I have a long way to go before being really okay." Lena sighed.
"What being really okay means to you?"
"Well I...I guess that means not feeling miserable and gloomy anymore, not being hurt by anything, maybe...I don't know." Lena sighed.
"I'm agree for the part of not feeling miserable and gloomy but unfortunately getting hurt is part of being alive."
"Well, I...I think that suck." Lena says as she fidgets in her seat.
"Yes, it does suck indeed." Kelly chuckles slightly. "That's something a lot of people struggle to accept but unfortunately the bad times and the risk of getting hurt are parts of life. But that doesn't mean you're going to feel miserable all the times. You can be happy and still have bad days, that what being alive is."
"How can I overcome the bad days?" Lena asks.
"For instance, you can...think of the good ones and lean on those you love, one of the most important things is to allow yourself to feel your pain, not putting it in a box and pretending you're fine."
"I understood that...no more boxes." Lena says.
"No more boxes." Kelly smiles." You're progressing quickly, it's good."
"I don't have the feeling that I'm really progressing, I feel like I'm regressing sometimes." Lena sighed.
"You're not regressing, that's something you tell yourself because you still haven't learned to love yourself." Kelly smiles. "I think its also important that you understand that healing is not a linear process, sometimes relapses do happen, that's doesn't mean you're regressing, that's just means you're healing at your own pace, that's why you have to be kinder to yourself, so that you'll can learn how to take care of yourself when you're relapsing and working on getting better again."
"I really want to get better." Lena says.
"That's good, choosing to heal is the most important step." Kelly smiles.
"But that's not the easiest." Lena sighed.
"No you're right, it's even the hardest." Kelly says."But once you've understood that you deserve to be happy, once you've chosen healing over misery, you've already done half of the work."
"Does it mean that I'm on the right path?" Lena asks.
"Yes, you are." Kelly smiles."And I really have faith that you're gonna heal faster than you think."
"I hope so." Lena mutters.
Weeks passed by, Lena kept getting better while her friendship with Kara became even deeper than before, because now they didn't have any secrets or lies to weight on their friendship. Kara could truly be herself, and she never felt more free.
The movie night became a weekly tradition that none of them would have missed for the world.
"There's something I really want to ask you but I'm not sure you're comfortable with that." Lena says after the first movie of the night ended.
"You can ask me anything." Kara smiles.
"I wondered...would you mind talking about Krypton with me? I really would like to get to know you."
"You already know me, Lena." Kara smiles.
"Yeah...I know Kara Danvers and Supergirl but...I really would like to know who is Kara Zor-El." Lena says.
"Um...Okay...I...I don't know where to start." Kara stammers.
"We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to..."
"No, it's fine." Kara says." You're one of the few persons I feel comfortable enough to share this part of myself with. What would you like to know?"
"Everything." Lena smiles.
"Alright." Kara says before she started to open-up to her best friend the way she has dreamed to do it for years.
She talked about her family, her parents, her friends, her planet, how she felt when she lost everything.
"I think I'm never gonna complain about my past ever again." Lena sighed."I can't even imagine everything you've been through."
"Well, as Kelly told me, it's not the competition of who as the worst." Kara says. "I think I've been lucky, if I didn't land here, I wouldn't have Alex in my life today. I wouldn't have the ones who matter the most to me and I can't imagine my life without the family I've chosen. You, included."
Lena took one of Kara's hand in hers before saying,"You're my family too."
Kara smiled softly before losing herself in the captivating green eyes of her best friend, until she glanced at her red lips, wondering what they would taste like, before clearing her throat and trying to forget about her confusing thoughts and feelings. "Besides, it's not that bad, I've found my mom a while back and I know Argo City still exist, so..."
"Why you didn't stay there?" Lena asks. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you've decided to live here, I just...wonder."
"Well, when I was there, I realized that I wasn't meant to live like a kryptonian...I'm still an alien but I feel like this planet is the one I belong to, and I happy about it." Kara smiles. "Earth is my home."
"You are my home, Kara." Lena thinks while she rubs softly her thumb over the back of Kara's hand.
"I think it's time for us to take another picture to put on this photo frame." Kara says while she points at the picture of she and Lena.
"You're right." Lena chuckles."Which made me think that I need to buy another photo frame. I still feel bad about the way I shattered the other."
"Stop feeling bad about that." Kara says. "You had every right to be angry and express your emotions at this moment, that doesn't mean you're a bad person."
"You always know what to say to make me feel better." Lena smiles.
"That's my job as best friend." Kara says before taking her phone who was on the table in front of them.
"Come here." Kara says while she puts one of her arms around Lena.
Lena smiles before getting closer to her best friend, she could feel her heart speed-up, Their cheeks were touching while they smiled ear-to-ear. Lena wished she could have stayed like this forever, with Kara's arm around her, she felt safe, like if she was exactly where she was supposed to be, she was home.
Kara was sitting in her front of Kelly for their weekly appointment. She was smiling while she talked about how she and Lena have become even closer than they used to be before the revelation.
"You look happy." Kelly says with a smile.
"I am." Kara beamed.
"I think you don't need therapy anymore."
"Really?" Kara frowns.
"It's up to you to decide if you want to keep doing this therapy, but from my perspective I think I've accomplished my mission." Kelly smiles.
Kara paused for a while before saying,"I think I'm good, but what if I'm not?"
"Then, you come back here." Kelly smiles. "But keep in mind that I'm dating your sister, so we're going to keep seeing each other on a regular basis. So, I'll be there for you if you ever need anything."
"True." Kara chuckles. "Thank you, Kelly. For everything."
"I'm glad I've been able to help you." Kelly smiles.
Lena was at L-corp, focusing on her work, when Kara entered into her office.
"Good Morning!" Kara says.
Lena took her attention off of her laptop and beamed at Kara who was carrying a package,"Hi!"
"I have a gift for you." Kara smiles.
"What is the occasion?" Lena chuckles.
"Well, I...I wanted to keep my promise to buy you a new photo frame." Kara stammers.
"You didn't have to do that." Lena blushes.
"I wanted to." Kara says while she handed the package to Lena.
"Thank you." Lena said, before unwrapping her gift slowly. "And you've added a new picture of us."
"I wanted to do things well." Kara smiles.
"Thank you, really." Lena beamed."I love it." and I love you, she thought, hoping her best friend didn't suddenly become mind reader.
"You're welcome." Kara smiles. Oh, Rao! she's so stunning when she's happy, she thought while she couldn't take her eyes off of her best friend.
They stared at one another in silence with a smile on their face, Kara couldn't stop glimpsing at Lena's lips, she needed to find something to say now or the next thing she would be doing, would be kissing her best friend in the middle of her office. She glanced at the floor for a couple of seconds before clearing her throat and asking, "Are you free for lunch?"
"For you, always." Lena beamed.
Stop smiling at me like this please! Kara whined in her head, in fact, no, never stop, you're so beautiful. She cleared her throat again, hoping to make her urge to kiss Lena goes away and asks,"Meet me at our usual place?"
"See you there." Lena smiles.
Kara nodded one last time, before leaving her office. Once she was alone again, Lena turned her attention to the photo frame. She stared at the picture for a while, wondering how she got so lucky to have a such wonderful person in her life. She sighed in contentment before going back to work. She really couldn't wait for lunch break.
Kara and Lena were sitting at their usual table in their favorite restaurant. They already have eaten a big belly burgers with chips and were now savoring a delicious vanilla ice cream.
Kara couldn't help thinking about Lena whenever she smelled a vanilla's scent, because it was way too similar to her perfume. She needed to find something to say to chase the inappropriate thought that was coming into her mind. "So, how are you doing these past weeks, Lena?" she asks.
"I think that I'm better than I ever been." Lena smiles.
"Really?" Kara beamed.
"Yeah..." Lena smiles."I mean, I still have months of therapy to do before really healing from all the shits that happened to me but I'm hopeful about the future."
"I'm so happy to hear that." Kara beamed."See, I told you Kelly could've help you."
"Yeah, I wish I could've found her sooner." Lena says.
"Better late than never." Kara smiles.
"Thank you, Kara, I couldn't have gotten here without you." Lena says, softly.
"Well, that what friends are for." Kara smiles.
"Yeah." Lena beamed while she stared at Kara, she glanced at her lips for a couple of seconds, losing her mind in her daydream before slapping herself mentally in the hope of snapping back to reality. "I'm mainly upset about my relationship with my mother right now."
"What did she do?" Kara scolded while her brow furrowed.
Lena chuckled at Kara's reaction before saying,"Nothing yet, but I still have a hard time to really trust her."
"Which is understandable after all the things she did." Kara stated.
"You're right, but it's been a while since she didn't do anything wrong." Lena says." Do you think I should trust her?"
"I'm afraid I can't have a neutral opinion on this matter." Kara says." But I can still kick her ass if she ever hurt you."
"I know you would." Lena chuckles. "I feel like I just try to enjoy the good moments I can have with her without overthinking everything until she disappoints me again." she sighed.
"I'm sorry that I can't help you with that." Kara says with an apologetic look.
"Don't be, you already done more for me than you could ever imagine." Lena smiles.
"Maybe you should talk about all of this with Kelly." Kara suggests."After all, it's her job to have a neutral opinion on complicated matters."
"Yeah, maybe that could help." Lena says while she observes Kara's lips who have some ice cream on them."You have, some..."
"What?" Kara frowns.
Lena reached her hands to Kara's face and brushed her lips with her fingers to wipe away the ice cream. "There..."
"Thank you." Kara whispers.
"So, how are you today?" Kelly asks with a smile.
"I'm good, for the most part." Lena answers.
"What bugs you the most right now?"
"My mother." Lena sighed."I dreamed for so long to be important to her, and now she lives with me, being the mom I'd always wanted to have and I don't know what to think."
"If you don't know what to think, can you tell me what do you feel?"
"I...I don't know, I feel happy in a way and in other way I feel angry." Lena sighed.
"Do you know why you feel like that?"
"I feel happy 'cause it's like I finally get what I wanted for so long, and I feel angry 'cause...I can't forget how she made me feel all those years and I...I'm not sure I could truly forgive her for the way she treated me."
"Well, we talked about your relationship with your mother a lot these last weeks, so your feelings are completely normal and you don't have to feel guilty about them."
"I feel like I'm stuck in the past." Lena sighed before pausing for a few seconds and saying, "it's like, I really want to move on and be happy with what I have, and I'm happy somehow but...I still can't let go of certain things and I'm mad at myself for that."
"What did we already said about the fact of berating yourself for your feelings?" Kelly reprimands, kindly.
"That it's gonna do the opposite of helping me to love myself and get better."
"Exactly." Kelly smiles."What else?"
"Um...That I should accept my feelings in order to heal from the painful things that happened to me."
"Right." Kelly smiles."Now back to our subject, what is the thing that keep you the most from forgiving your mother?"
"I...I'm afraid to let my guard down and getting hurt again." Lena says.
"What did we say about the risk of getting hurt?" Kelly asks.
"That it's part of being alive." Lena replies. "So, what should I do?"
"I can't tell you what to do, Lena. But I can help you clear your mind." Kelly smiles."The real question is do you want to forgive to your mother?"
"Yes. I want to move forward." Lena says, determined.
"So, you need to stop overprotecting yourself, even if that's a normal coping mechanism since no one ever protected you before."
"Except Kara." Lena beamed.
"There aren't any issues between Kara and you anymore?"
"No, we are... we got even closer than before." Lena smiles.
"It's a good thing, because if you forgive to your mother and it turns out it was a mistake, you won't be alone to face your pain."
"Kara said she would kick her ass if she ever hurt me."
"I'm not surprised by that." Kelly chuckles. "So, now you have a choice to make, you can either keep overprotecting yourself or you can take the risk to get hurt but consider that taking that risk also means giving you more chance at happiness."
"Does it mean that I have to stop expecting the worst from everyone, especially those who say they care about me?"
"Indeed." Kelly smiles. "Also keep in mind, that some people are terrible at understanding their feelings, let alone, expressing them. So, they mess up and it's mainly with the ones they love the most that they screw up. Which do not excuse them for their bad actions but maybe that could give you another perspective."
Lena pondered everything Kelly just said, before saying,"Thank you, I see everything more clearly now."
"You're welcome." Kelly smiles."That's means that I do my job correctly."
A couple of days after her most recent appointment with Kelly, Lena started to trust her mother a little more-not to the point where she was willing to take off the truth-seeker of her arms, but at least she was now able to wake-up every day without the fear that this day would be the one her mother would hurt her again. She still had a long way to go before completely letting her guard down, but she was making progress and that was a good step in the right direction already.
She was coming back home after work, she was kinda grumpy, she has forgotten her phone at home this morning and didn't hear of Kara from the all day, she was kinda worried.
"Supergirl called you earlier." Lillian said while Lena closed the door behind her.
"You know she has a name, right?" Lena sighed.
"Fine! Kara called you, then. She wanted to invite you to a game night."
Lena grabbed her phone who was on the table and dialed Kara's number, it didn't take long for her best friend to pick-up the phone. "Lena!" she could hear Kara's smile through the phone, which make her smile too under her mother's eyes who was watching her with a smirk.
Lena headed to her bedroom to get some privacy. "How was your day?" she asked while she closed the door behind her.
"I caught the bad guys, which is why I didn't have the time to flew through to your office today. I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Lena says."I had a lot of work today."
"Do you still have some energy left for a game night with the whole team? Or almost the whole team, J'onn and James can't be there tonight."
"I always have energy to spend some time with you." Lena says.
"Awesome! See you at my apartment, then."
"I can't wait." Lena chuckles.
The ambiance at Kara's apartment was cheerful, Nia and Brainy were there with Kelly and Alex. They waited for Lena to arrive before beginning the games.
The Danvers sisters were getting some booze when Alex said to Kara,"I think I've never seen you so happy."
"I think I've never been so happy." Kara beamed. "I've never felt so much at peace with myself and I can truly be myself with everyone who's important to me. I feel free. It's like...I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and most importantly where I want to be."
Alex smiled and couldn't resist to pull her sister in a hug."I'm so glad to see you like this."
Kara nuzzled in her sister embrace for a while before a knock to the door interrupted them,"That must be Lena!" she says with a smile while she pulled away from her sister.
After opening the door, Kara was once again awestruck at the sight in front of her, "Wow, Lena, you're stunning, I...I mean come in." she stammers.
"Thank you." Lena blushes."I brought some red wine."
"You are the best." Kara beamed.
"Since everyone is here, how about with start by making the teams?" Alex asked.
"You don't team-up with your sister?" Lena asked Kara.
"Um no...actually, since we have two couples in this room, Kelly has suggested that we team-up by couple." Kara blushes.
"Oh...I guess we are a couple tonight, then." Lena chuckled before realizing what she just said."I...I mean..."
"It's okay...I know what you mean." Kara says even though she could feel her heart speed-up, she's glad that Lena doesn't have a super-hearing and therefore can't know that.
After Kara and Lena have defeated the two others team at every game, the game night was coming to an end and everyone started to leave Kara's apartment. Nia and Brainy were the first to left, smiling ear-to-ear, holding hands. Kara watched them with a smile, they were really adorable together and somehow she wished she could have that kind of love one day.
"I can't believe we have been beat by the fake couple of the night." Alex grumbled, while she closed the door behind her.
Kara chuckles awkwardly after her sister remark while Lena looks-down, trying her best to avoid any embarrassing eye-contact with her best friend.
"Do you want to have one last drink with me?" Kara asks with a bright smile.
"Sure!" Lena says, trying to forget how much she wanted to hug and kiss her best friend right now.
Alex and Kelly were holding hands, while they walked down the street when Alex noticed that her girlfriend seemed lost in her thoughts.
"What's on your mind sweetie?" Alex asks.
"I just wonder, how long that's gonna take for Kara and Lena to realize that they're in love with each other." Kelly answers.
"What?!" Alex gasps, almost choking on her own saliva.
"Well, with the way these two look at one another, how they talk about each other, I mean...their romantic feelings are obvious." Kelly replies.
"If it's that obvious, why I didn't notice it?" Alex frowns while she makes them stop their walk.
"Because you are terrible at picking clues, sweetheart." Kelly smiles. "I mean, you didn't notice that I was into you until I told you so."
"Oh, shut up." Alex chuckles, before pulling her girlfriend for a kiss.
One glass of wine later, Kara and Lena were sitting on the couch in an awkward and somehow weird uncomfortable silence, until Kara breaks it, "So…We did pretty well tonight."
"Yeah." Lena beamed."We should do that more often."
Kara nodded with a smile and says,"You know, the few games night I spend without you, when we've been apart...have been terrible for me...I mean...Every day has been hard without you by my side and I..."
"I'm sorry for the way I pushed you away." Lena says, with a guilty look.
"Don't be, it's fine now and even though it has been painful for me, I'm glad that you took some time to look after yourself for once." Kara smiles. "If I'm telling you this tonight that's 'cause I want you to know how much you are important to me, Lena…When I've been away from you I felt like a part of my heart was missing and when we've found each other I felt whole again."
"Kara..." Lena whispers as she can feel her heart pounding in her chest.
"What I'm saying Lena is...Please, don't leave me again." Kara says with glossy eyes.
"I won't." Lena replies with a soft voice.
"Promise?"
"I promise." Lena says while she takes one of Kara's hand in hers, before squeezing it gently.
Kara rubs softly the top of Lena's hand with her thumb for a couple of seconds, before she stares deeply into Lena's eyes and says with a soft voice,"You are a part of my heart Lena Luthor."
Lena is speechless at Kara's declaration and the fact that her best friend is so close to her at this instant doesn't help her to regain her composure. She watches Kara's lips longer than usual, she can't keep living in her dreams any longer, she needs to experience the taste of Kara's lips for real. She moved even closer to her best friend before saying,"I'm about to do the most reckless thing I've ever done...Please, stop me if you don't want me to do it."
Her lips brush against Kara's but no matter how much she wants to, she doesn't feel bold enough to kiss them, lucky for her she doesn't have to do anything because Kara is the one who close the gap between them, and slowly their lips join one another in a tender and loving kiss.
Thanks to everyone who follows this story. I really loved writing this chapter, so, I'll be happy to know your thoughts on it. :)